A Spark In The Shadows
by Avery Austen
Summary: A girl with strange abilities arrives in Karakura Town and is found to be the link between Soul Reapers and ancient spirit beings called Shadows. In order to save her new life from destruction, she must unlock her forgotten past before it's too late.
1. Chapter 1

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

A girl with strange abilities arrives in Karakura Town and is found to be the link between soul reapers and ancient spirit beings called Shadows. In order to save her new life from destruction, she must unlock her forgotten past before it's too late. RenjiXOC

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

"Hey, Stripes! I need your help in here!" I closed my eyes as Jinta's yell shattered the calm silence. Sitting back on my heels, I looked around the storage room that I was responsible for cleaning. The floor was covered in a thin layer of soapy water to soak through the "who knows how many years' worth" of muck that had solidified there. Honestly, how long had it been since Urahara last cleaned this place? I shuddered at the reality that "never" was probably the most accurate answer.

"Stripes!" Jinta's shrill voice could have pierced solid steel. I sighed heavily; so much for an afternoon of peace and quiet while I cleaned.

I stood up and threw the sponge I was using to scrub the floor back into the bucket. Using the towel hanging over my shoulder, I dried my hands and knees before I stepped out of the room and into the dark, back hallway of the Urahara Shop.

There was an open window at the end of the hall that would have let in a cool breeze if the air was moving. But for the past few days it had been nothing but boiling temperatures as the final heat wave of summer settled in on Karakura Town. I stopped and leaned back against the wall. Closing my eyes, I could smell the different spices and herbs that made up some of the weird products Kisuke Urahara sold in his shop. Tessai, the second in command, was whistling as he swept the front yard, and the cheerful tune made its way inside. Meanwhile, Urahara's very own "salesman" voice dripped with honey as I heard him trying to convince a mother to let her bratty child buy some candy.

I smiled to myself, remembering my first impression of the shop a month before. It was a ratty old shack on a fenced in dirt lot; one of those "hole-in-the-wall" places that you only ever find by stumbling upon it by accident. Even though the flow of customers was slow and rare, the shop still managed to somehow stay open.

I heard rustling coming from a storage room down the hall, and wondered what Jinta could be up to this time. My head throbbed painfully to remind me of how I had "helped" the little brat just a week ago. That stupid kid had called me into that _same_ storage room and the second I stepped inside, a can of something flew through the air and crashed into my forehead.

After I had pinned him to the ground, Jinta flashed a big innocent smile and convinced me not to beat the living hell out of him. At least not then. Of course, when he began to repeatedly "need my help" over the next few days, I stopped holding back, even when he claimed it was my fault for not dodging something quickly enough. I rarely landed a hit though, the kid was so fast.

The noise suddenly stopped and I immediately pressed my back against the wall, feeling the cold stone against my bare arms and shivering. This time I had a plan. I would edge my way quietly down the hallway to the door of the storage room and somehow take Jinta by surprise. I spotted a mop leaning against the wall opposite me and grabbed it for protection, just in case. I could never be sure what stunt Jinta was going to pull next.

When I finally reached the door, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My muscles tensed and I flexed my fingers on the mop handle a few times, preparing myself for whatever attack was about to come. _Three…two…one!_

I threw the mop through the doorway of the storage room first, as a decoy, and immediately a storm of cans came flying back out. They exploded noisily as they hit the opposite wall with force, and their contents went splattering everywhere. Specks of what I hoped were tomatoes hit my face, bare arms and legs, while some kind of gooey, green liquid slowly oozed its way down the wall. I watched for the last can and deftly snatched it out of the air. That particular reflex, I was not proud to say, had only been honed so well by constantly trying to protect myself from Jinta's projectile attacks.

Stepping into the room, I saw my target frozen opposite me, a look of surprise on his face and a single can left in his hand. I was tossing the one I held into the air and then catching it again, a smug grin spreading across my face. Jinta swallowed hard and began to back away from me as I stepped towards him, matching his strides.

Stopping in the middle of the room, I narrowed my eyes and glared at the boy.

"Game over," I said proudly. Jinta immediately dropped his can and turned on his heels towards the back wall. There was a large window about halfway up that was currently open and Jinta was sprinting towards it. "Oh, no you don't," I hissed, and shot after him. His small body was only halfway out the window when I grabbed his waist and tried pulling him back inside. He gripped either side of the window as I braced my foot against the wall and we both started an odd game of tug-o-war.

"Let me go!" Jinta shouted back at me.

"Not a chance, you little creep!" I gave one final pull and Jinta's hands slipped off of the window. He fell back and both of us hit the ground. I grabbed for his wrists and we both tumbled over each other until I had him pinned to the floor. Panting, I smiled sweetly at him and he retaliated by sticking out his tongue.

Jinta was not a very large boy, only reaching about four feet in height, but his small and skinny build never fooled me. He was the bane of my existence from the moment I began working at the shop.

Not a day went by that I had gone home without a bump or bruise from Jinta's "training", as he liked to call it. To me, it seemed more like his own personal kind of torture. I had been the target for cans, books, mops, brooms, and any other object Jinta could find around the shop to attack me with. He told me I looked too soft and vulnerable and that I needed to 'man up', which apparently could only be achieved by giving me daily concussions with soup cans.

"Is everything okay in here?" a soft voice asked from the doorway. Jinta and I both looked up to see a young girl with black pigtails and a pink skirt watching apprehensively as we wrestled on the floor.

"Ururu," Jinta yelled from beneath me, "where were you when I needed back up? Some help you are!" I reached into the nearest storage box and pulled out a few packing peanuts, shoving them in Jinta's mouth to shut him up. Grinning with victory, I stood up.

"Yeah, we're good. Thanks, Ururu," I assured her, brushing myself off. She looked from me back to Jinta, who was currently spitting out pieces of Styrofoam and mumbling under his breath. From the floor, he aimed a kick at my shins which I dodged by taking a small step to the right. Jinta's foot instead made contact with the shelf, and a whole box full of the Styrofoam peanuts tumbled down on him. Laughing, I stepped over the mess to stand in the doorway.

"Mr. Kisuke's looking for you, Sayuri," Ururu told me softly as I leaned against the doorframe watching Jinta try to battle his way out of the ocean of peanuts that now covered him. For a moment, my own name didn't even register in my mind; I was so used to Jinta's nickname for me. Thanks to the boy's wonderful gift of pointing out the blatantly obvious, he had begun to call me Stripes after the giant scars that ran the length of my body. They were a few shades darker than the rest of my skin, giving the impression that my arms, legs, waist and torso were covered in stripes.

Absentmindedly, I ran my hands over my bare arms. The scarred skin always felt a few degrees warmer than the rest of my body, which was weird. The stranger part still was that, even though it had been only a year since I had gotten them, I couldn't remember how I managed to procure such impressive wounds. All I could remember was coming home from school one day, arguing with my mother, and then it goes black. I woke up a few days later in a room at Karakura Hospital, covered in bandages and with a splitting headache.

The doctors had told me that my house had caught on fire and exploded because of a gas leak. But, for some reason, in the back of my mind, I knew that was a lie; that something else had occurred. I was visited by various doctors and insurance officials, but I gave them all the same answer: I could not remember anything that had happened. Before each of them left they would touch my hand lightly and give me that "pity face" you only saw in hospitals, as if they knew something tragic that I didn't.

That was when I realized my mother was missing. She had been there when I came home from school, but where was she now? I'd heard the insurance officials saying that nothing had survived the explosion but, when I asked about her, the looks on their faces were enough for me to fully understand my situation. _Nothing_, at all, had survived.

Suddenly, I felt an arm snake its way around my neck and someone rapping on my head.

"Earth to Stripes," Jinta was yelling in my ear as he clung to my back, "Anyone home in there?" Clenching my fists I fought hard not to deck the little brat right then and there. He knocked harder, and I grabbed his hand.

"Yes, I heard you!" I shouted back at him. He jumped off me and ran down the hallway laughing maniacally. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the frame.

"Are you feeling alright, Sayuri?" Ururu asked. "You seem kind of distant lately." I stared down at her, amazed, as always, at how blunt she was. Ururu would never beat around the bush.

From my first day of work, and first day of becoming Jinta's new crash test dummy, Ururu and I had developed a special friendship. Together, we made up a united front against the evil redheaded child and were usually able to subdue him. At the same time, Ururu had also taken on the role of my protector, always looking out for me and making sure I was doing okay. She was a sweet girl despite her expression of perpetual sadness.

I took her small hand in mine and was comforted by its warmth.

"Yeah, I'm okay, I promise." _But, it's almost been a year. Almost a year since everything got flipped upside down_, I thought to myself as we walked down the hall towards the front of the store.

Tessai, still whistling, was just coming in from sweeping out in the yard. Looking around, I could only see the red of Jinta's hair peeking out from behind a shelf where he liked to sit and read his comics. I was going to ask where Urahara went, when the man suddenly popped up right in front of me. He had been so quiet that his sudden movement was all it took to send me flying back into the wall.

"Hey there Sayuri," he said, accentuating every syllable of my name annoyingly. I glared at him, rubbing the back of my head where it had just collided with stone.

"What do you want?" I demanded, annoyed; just when my headaches from yesterday were starting to go away. I was never worried about insulting Urahara even though he _was_ my boss; he was too easygoing to ever care.

"I need you to scurry on over into town and pick up some goodies," he said, a bogusly sweet smile stretching across his stubbled face. He waved a shopping list in my face as if to make it more enticing. Rolling my eyes I snatched the list out of his hand.

"I'm a teenager, not a puppy, Urahara," I snapped, scanning the paper. "And you can scratch the 'super-happy-candy-man' act, too. It's just us." As if some spell had been broken, Urahara's face came unglued and he massaged his cheeks, pushing out his lower lip a bit.

"Sometimes it just gets stuck like that after dealing with customers all day," he whined. Tessai chuckled softly as he stepped past Ururu and I into the hallway.

"Oh yeah," I teased, "The tons and tons of customers that grace these hallowed halls every day. I actually had to beat some of them back with a stick earlier." Urahara stuck his lip out further and plopped himself down on the floor in his normal spot. Crossing his arms, he pulled his striped hat down over his eyes. I shook my head and smiled.

Urahara's frequent juvenile behavior had been one of his qualities that made me so willing to work in his shop. He never watched me work over my shoulder, and he was always very informal, as if I was just another part of his dysfunctional family along with Jinta, Ururu, and Tessai. It was nice, not having to stress out about a job. _But, maybe I feel that way because my boss spends most of his time snoozing anyway_, I grinned to myself.

Walking over to the door, I slipped on my shoes and shoved the list down into my pocket. Ururu followed and handed me the cash Urahara had given her.

"Come on Jinta! Let's go," I shouted, putting the money in my pocket also.

As Ururu and I started out of the store, Urahara spoke quietly from under his hat. "Just be careful out there and stay together. There's been some weird stuff going on lately." I waved off his warning as Jinta ran to catch up with us. Looking up at the sky, I shielded my eyes against the blazing sun. It was such a beautiful day, were the cryptic messages really necessary? Besides, it was just a trip into town for some groceries. What could go wrong?

ooo

"I said I was sorry," I giggled, taking in Jinta's soaking wet body. He glared at me as he wrung his shirt out onto the sidewalk. As he let it go, the fabric clung to his body, making him look as if he had just stepped out of a swimming pool. He wiped his wet, red bangs off his face, slicking his hair back. "It was just a little water," I told the boy with a sheepish grin.

Jinta's face contorted in a mixture of rage and evil cunning. "Just a little water?" he asked, a note of danger in his voice. "Then let's see how you like it!" I took a step back from him, afraid he was about to attack at me. But instead, he nearly bent over and began to shake his head vigorously, like a dog, spraying me with water.

"Hey, knock it off!" I shouted at him, throwing my hands up to cover my face. Jinta laughed, and threw his head back. His red spikes were dry again and stuck out at all angles, just like usual. _My_ hair, however, was now slightly damp, as was my shirt. But I didn't mind; the sun was hot and any source of coolness was welcome in my book.

"We should keep going," Ururu said quietly for the fourth time since we had left the shop. Ururu was always the leader on outings like this, seeing as she was probably the most mature out of the three of us. She always led the way while Jinta and I would poke and scratch at each other like unruly children in the backseat of a car. And Ururu knew well not to interfere with some of these arguments seeing as they usually turned physical. But, I was not in the mood for fighting Jinta _again_ today, so, after getting him wet, I left him alone.

As we fell into step right behind Ururu, I sighed and crossed my arms behind my head. Although the temperature was high, the weather was still nice and I was glad to be getting some fresh air after inhaling cleaning products all morning. We passed a giant puddle and I grinned to myself, thinking back to what had caused Jinta's sogginess.

As we had left the yard at the shop, Jinta and I were already having an argument about which way we should take to get to the market. Jinta suggested, like always, that we play rock-paper-scissors to decide whose idea was better. Somehow, even with Ururu's help that devil child still managed to win, and so we were walking straight through town rather than taking a detour through the park as I had suggested.

On the way, we had passed numerous giant puddles created from the amount of sprinklers that had been turned on that weekend. Jinta kept stepping on the backs of my sneakers, causing them to slip off my feet and finally, I had enough. I saw another puddle coming up and rejoiced at how perfectly my revenge was set up for me. As we passed it, I turned and jumped right into the middle of the water with as much force as I could. Ururu was far enough ahead that she only got sprinkled a little bit, but Jinta, who was directly behind me, got drenched. In my mind, we were now even.

I smiled as I remembered Jinta's face after he got completely soaked. Tilting my face to the sun, I closed my eyes as we walked and watched the colors swirl beneath my eye lids. At first, there were blues and purples, and they curled around each other like wisps of smoke. But soon, that smoke began to grow lighter until it had transformed into flames of red and orange. I was surprised by how real the fire looked. I could almost hear it crackling and feel its heat on my skin when -

"Ow." Rolling over onto my back I opened my eyes. Ururu and Jinta were leaning over me, their faces mere inches from mine; Ururu looking forlorn as always, and Jinta amused. I pushed myself up into a sitting position and brushed the dirt off my skinned knees.

"Nice job, freak," Jinta said with a laugh. I glared up at him from the ground. Getting up was apparently enough to convince Ururu that I was alright, so she continued walking down the street with Jinta right behind her. I looked around for whatever I had tripped over and found that I had upset a small glass vase with a few flowers inside it that was set right on the corner. I knelt down and placed it right side up again.

There was a flash of pink from around the side of the wall. "Hello?" I called. Leaning forward, I tried to see who was there. A small girl, maybe about Jinta's age, was watching me from around the corner. She had a striped pink shirt on and a skirt, and her light brown hair was tied up in two pigtails. She seemed pretty cute, but her skin startled me. It was so pale she almost seemed transparent, as if I could look right through her.

"I'm sorry," I told her. "Were these yours?" I looked down at the flowers I held in my hand and her large eyes followed my gaze. Slowly looking up at me again, she nodded. There was a frightened look on the girl's face and I felt terrible; I must have scared her when I fell flat on my face.

Looking at the vase again, I realized that when I knocked it over all the water had spilled out. "I'm sorry," I told her again. _I'm so stupid_. She had probably brought it for a relative or friend who had died nearby and I just ruined the whole thing.

"Hey, Stripes! Who you talkin' to?" Jinta yelled. Looking over, I saw him and Ururu walking back towards me after realizing that I wasn't following them. Standing up, I made sure I didn't knock over the vase again.

"This little girl right-" I turned back towards the corner to show them, but she was gone. I walked around the wall where she had been standing just a second ago, but I couldn't find her anywhere. Looking back at Ururu and Jinta I could see they were as confused as I was. "There was a little girl," I told them, "Honestly. She was right here only two seconds ago."

Ururu and Jinta gazed at me with careful eyes. Jinta peered around the corner as well, but the little girl was long gone.

"Maybe you hit your head when you fell," Jinta laughed, stepping past me and heading back down the street. _Or, maybe it was all those soup cans you little sadist,_ I thought sending mental daggers at the boy. Ururu gave the vase one last look before she turned and followed him. I knelt down and rearranged the flowers a bit, wondering where that girl could have gone so quickly.

I knew she was no longer there, but I still whispered. "I'll bring some more water tomorrow. I promise." I stood up and ran to catch up with Ururu and Jinta. As I stepped out onto the main street, I felt a release, as if there had been a slight pressure on my chest preventing me from breathing regularly. I had only been dimly aware of it before, but now I really noticed it as it completely stopped.

"Huh, that was weird," I said aloud. Shielding my eyes, I looked up at the sky. "This heat is really starting to get to me."

"Stripes, come on! Let's go!" Jinta called, clearly pissed, from further down the street. I took a deep breath, testing out my lungs; they seemed fine. Maybe I _had_ hit my head, or maybe I was dehydrated. As I ran to catch up with the kids, I began to get a bad feeling that maybe Urahara had been right to warn us before we left.


	2. Chapter 2

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of it's characters/locations/etc. i only own this plotline and the OCs

thanks to: Red6 for the story favorite =]

please please please R&R. i'm only going to upload more chapters every 4 weeks or so, unless i get a good amount of reviews or requests to do it sooner. so review! and tell you're bleach friends to do the same! thanks =p

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

"All right," I said, checking off the last item, "I think we got everything on Urahara's list." Ururu, Jinta and I each held a small bag of groceries as we stood outside the Hirohyaku Supermarket. Ururu opened her bag and looked through the products inside one last time. As she nodded to me, I folded the list up and slipped it back into my pocket.

"Can we go now," Jinta whined. I shushed him and he stuck his tongue out at me. Ururu sighed and started to walk away. She was so much more mature than I was when dealing with Jinta. She could always stay calm and firm, while I usually succumbed to my inner ten year old and only egged him on. I looked at him and he shrugged. Swinging his bag over his shoulder, he walked after Ururu, whistling, and I followed.

We had gone a few blocks before I started to realize something was off. It was a Sunday afternoon and town was usually packed with people doing their shopping for the week. But, the further we walked, the less people there seemed to be around. _Where is everyone…? It can't be that hot out..._

As if in answer to my question, two boys exited a convenience store a bit ahead of us. Their heads were inclined towards each other and they were speaking quietly, but I was able to pick up what they were saying.

"– biggest thing I've ever seen, I swear to you," the shorter of the two insisted. "Like a giant…footprint, or something!" I strained to hear them as a truck rumbled past on the street beside us.

"Woah, no way! Right in the middle of the park?" the short boy's friend asked, incredulously.

"Yeah, it's huge! I think I even saw a couple of camera crews hanging around." As they turned a corner the boys' voices began to grow faint. I stopped and watched them walk away, thinking about what they had said. Ururu and Jinta had stopped and were looking after the boys as well. _That would explain where all the people are, I guess. Maybe we're gonna get to take a detour through the park after all_, I thought excitedly. Turning to the kids, I tried to look as disinterested as possible.

"Wonder what that was all about. Wann go see what's going on?" I hoped my performance was working well enough, but my legs felt anxious and I could feel myself fidgeting a bit. Jinta narrowed his eyes at me, clearly suspicious, and was about to say something when Ururu interrupted him.

"Maybe we should." Jinta stopped short and looked at her, his eyebrows raised.

"You think he'd wanna' know?" he asked quietly after a bit of a pause.

Ururu did not even answer. She simply began to cross the street in the direction of the park. Jinta looked at me and I shrugged, doing my best to look bored. But, when my mask cracked and a smile slipped through, he rolled his eyes and stalked off after Ururu.

I couldn't tell why I was so anxious to get to the park, but there something about the whole situation that seemed strange. There was something in the air, some feeling of anticipation that seemed to energize the atmosphere. It was...electric. I had never felt so awake and aware. But something in the back of my mind stirred slightly, as if this feeling was familiar to me from a time not so long ago. I was trying to remember when that was exactly when we reached the park gates.

As we got nearer, we fell in with a steady flow of people all heading in the same direction. We stopped just before the entrance, watching people of all ages push to get inside. Looking at the kids, I squared my shoulders and braced myself. Reaching the crowd, we began to squirm our way between people, taking care to stay within sight of each other. Once we had pushed our way in, it was easy to see how worked up everyone was getting. We were jostled around so much that I made sure I grabbed a good handful of both the kids' shirts so I wouldn't lose them. But, trying to keep up with them and trying not to get elbowed by an overzealous observer was taking more out of me than it probably should have.

At first I thought it was because I was being knocked around like a pinball that I was getting breathless, but as we got nearer to the footprint, I recognized that familiar feeling of pressure on my chest. It was the same one that I had felt when I saw the little girl earlier by the vase of flowers except that this time, the pressure was multiplied many times. I was feeling a bit light headed from it when Jinta grabbed my and Ururu's hands and pulled us through a space between the surrounding people to find a way to the front of the crowd.

When we emerged I could feel my eyes widen. "Footprint" was not the right word to describe this thing. Yes, that was its general shape, but this impression in the ground looked more like someone had taken a few tons of dynamite and set it off. I could see a few crushed trees lying at the bottom, looking more like toothpicks in size compared to the crater itself. _What could have made something like this,_ I thought, feeling an odd prickling of fear along my spine. _And where is it now?_

I looked down to see Ururu and Jinta both staring at the footprint, as if mesmerized. Ururu's eyes were quickly scanning the area, taking in all she could, while Jinta's were simply wide with amazement. I recognized a bit of the fear I had felt for a moment in his eyes, too.

"It's…so much bigger than usual," he whispered, more to himself than anyone else. I looked back at the crater, wondering when the hell he had seen something like this before, when I noticed a man on the other side staring at me. He was oddly dressed and stood so still I wondered if he were even breathing. His high cheekbones were startling, making his face seem pointy and angular. Our eyes met and I realized, as my stomach knotted up, that they were a deep, blood red. I was about to point him out to the kids, but my sentence was cut off by a sudden stabbing pain in my chest. It tore right through my body, sending a jolting shock through my arms and legs. I dropped my bag of groceries on the ground and the carton of milk burst open, splashing all those near me. I clutched the front of my shirt and clawed at my chest, the pressure there increasing with every second. I could not breathe, and I started gasping for air.

I could hear Ururu and Jinta next to me, asking me if I was alright. I wanted to answer them, to tell them about the man. To tell them we needed to get away from this...thing, but I could not get enough air in my lungs to do anything.

I fell to my knees and threw my hands out in front of me to keep from hitting the ground completely. Looking up, I saw that my vision was beginning to blur. But, my eyes still managed to find the man again and as our eyes locked, he grinned. I was starting to see stars pop up in front of my eyes when I felt someone grab my arm and pull me to my feet. I felt my arm being draped over someone's shoulder, and theirs wrapping securely around my waist. I was being dragged away, but I could not see straight enough to tell who it was that was holding me up. It felt like we were walking forever. The pounding of my heart in my ears began to subside and I could no longer hear the buzz of the crowd. As my rescuer finally laid me down, I felt the pressure in my chest begin to lessen and closed my eyes, breathing heavily.

A shadow fell over my face. "Sayuri? Sayuri, can you hear me?" My eyes shot open.

"Rukia?" I opened my eyes to find that I had been carried to a bench on the total opposite side of the park. Gripping the back of it, I tried to sit up but my head instantly started throbbing as soon as I was no longer horizontal. Standing over me, her eyebrows drawn together in worry and what looked like confusion, Rukia placed a hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me back down.

"You probably shouldn't try to get up just yet," she told me, "It looked like you almost blacked out." Looking up again, I met her violet eyes with my silver ones. I had met Rukia Kuchiki three weeks ago when I started at Karakura High School and was placed in her class. She always seemed so happy and smiley that seeing her as serious as she was at the moment was a bit unnerving. I nodded, and then regretted it as I felt my brain bouncing around the inside of my skull. Wincing, I placed my hands on either side of my head.

"What happened?" she asked, looking at Jinta and Ururu who were standing on either sides of the bench.

"No idea," Jinta said. "We were just lookin' at that…thing, and she started makin' funny noises like she couldn't breathe or somethin'." Rukia's eyes narrowed as he said this. Judging by the look Rukia was giving me I knew she was about to ask a million questions, so I decided to speak up.

"I'm fine, honestly Rukia." I forced myself to sit up and show her, even though everything around me began to spin. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, stretching my lungs as far as they could go, and smiled. "See, I can breathe just fine. It was probably just the heat. It's really nothing to worry about." Rukia's eyes looked over my face again, considering my excuse. She glanced at Ururu who nodded back at her. Then, as if a switch was hit, her expression smoothed and Rukia was back to normal.

"Well that's good to hear. You really had me worried, Sayuri," she chirped. "Maybe we should sit here for just a little longer until that crowd at the gate lightens up. Otherwise, we'll never get out of here." I nodded as Rukia took a seat next to me on the bench. The kids sat on the grass beside us and chatted with Rukia about the Urahara Shop and what we were doing in town. As I listened, I tried to recover from the normal whiplash I got from Rukia's everchanging personalities.

I liked Rukia. After a few days of trying to break through the phony friendliness she put on in school, I managed to find her real identity underneath. She could be tough and brutally honest, but always accepting. And she jsut had this way of making me feel welcome whenever we ran into each other. To me, she was very easy to talk to and I found myself getting closer to her everyday.

After a while, the crowd began to dissipate and we decided it was time to head back. Getting up, Rukia held out her hand to me and said, "Even if you are feeling better, maybe I can walk back to the shop with you anyway, just to make sure. It would make _me_ feel a lot better." I was about to protest but the threat that suddenly appeared in Rukia's eyes made me quickly shut my mouth and nod, weakly, in agreement. "Great," she said pulling my arm back over her shoulder before I could even blink. "Let's go!"

And so, as if being half-carried, half-dragged all the way through town wasn't embarrassing enough, the second we re-entered Urahara's yard, Jinta's sick sense of humor only made it worse.

"All right people clear out, we've got a highly unstable person comin' through here," he turned and waved his arms at an invisible crowd, ushering them out of the way. Shooting me a grin laced with pure evil, he continued, "She might trip over the air and knock herself out again." I felt my muscles tense as I prepared to lunge at him, but I was still trapped in Rukia's arm that held me like a strait jacket, so I didn't get very far.

I was shocked at how strong she was for so small a person. A few inches shorter than I was, and I really wasn't that tall to begin with, she simply wrapped her arm further around me and braced herself against my attempt to break free. It was like being tied to a brick wall.

"Get lost," she hissed at Jinta, again surprising me with the power in her voice. But Jinta, of course, would have no part in taking directions from anyone. Closing my eyes, I tried to tune out their argument and keep my still woozy body from collapsing in Rukia's arms. Suddenly, the door to the shop slid open with a bang causing us all to jump. Tessai's large frame filled the doorway as he gazed from one end of the yard to the other.

"What's all this noise for?" he asked, stepping out and walking towards us. One of his eyebrows cocked slightly as he caught sight of me and my captor. Rukia and Jinta both opened their mouths to respond, but I was tired of being treated like some mental patient who didn't even know her own name. Before either of them could say a word, I wrenched myself out of Rukia's vice grip and threw up my hands.

"Nothing!" I said, a bit louder than I had intended. As everyone's eyes turned to me I could feel a blush creep its way onto my face. Wonderful. I was back at the center of attention. Three cheers for my amazing people skills. Smiling awkwardly I continued, "Nothing is wrong. I am perfectly fine. See," I patted myself down a bit so they would see I wasn't in immediate danger of losing any limbs.

"She fell and hit her head." I turned and glared at Jinta, making a mental note to find a storage closet I could lock him in later.

"Then she passed out in the park." I turned to stare at Rukia with disbelief and betrayal written all over my face, but she kept her eyes on Tessai. He looked at me and I felt about ready to explode.

"No, I didn't. I just…." I scrambled to find an explanation, "Almost...did." _Yeah, you've definitely got 'em all convinced now, Sayuri._ Suddenly, my head throbbed painfully and I swayed a bit. Concern quickly took the place of amusement on Tessai's face and both he and Rukia took steps toward me.

"Maybe we should go inside," he said, his deep voice rumbling softly. Even though I knew Tessai only had my best interests at heart, I rolled my eyes and groaned loudly. Walking past everyone, I stopped just to the side of the front door.

"I am perfectly fine," I repeated, ignoring the invisible hammer that was currently beating away at my skull. At the moment, my desire to be out of the uncomfortable spotlight was much stronger than my desire for the pain to stop. "I am just going to sit here," I indicated the ground beneath me, "and close my eyes," I pointed to my eyes. "So, _you_ can all go inside and gossip about what a delicate flower I am, but I think I'm going to sit this one out." And with that, I plopped myself down, leaned my head back against the wall of the shop, and closed my eyes.

There was some mumbling and shuffling of feet, but eventually they all made their way into the shop. Once I heard the door slide shut, I let out a deep breath and opened my eyes. I lay down on the cool concrete slab that ran the length of the front of the shop and reveled in the sudden silence that surrounded me.

Being the center of attention had always bothered me, not really because I was shy, but because it was too much pressure for me to handle. Everyone watches you, hanging on your every move, and expects certain things of you; it had always made me uncomfortable ever since I was young. I was a people pleaser, and the possibility of failing in front of a group of people made me very nervous. I was much happier keeping to myself, where the standards weren't so high.

Through the open window around the corner from my spot, I could hear a door slide open and hushed voices entering the room. Before I could call out and let them know I could still hear them, I picked up on what they were saying.

"- been out there for a week already." That was Urahara. "He's been following something, but it keeps disappearing right before he can get a clear reading on what it even is."

"How can you lose something that huge," Rukia asked, annoyed.

"He's not even sure if they're the same entity at this point."

"Ugh, you should have let me handle this, Urahara." I wouldn't want to be whoever 'he' was, I thought. Clearly he wasn't very good at doing his job. "Anyway, that place reeked of spirit energy. I could sense it from the other side of town. It's no surprise _she_ fainted, anyone would have."

"Well she's the only one that did, which means you were right, Miss Kuchiki," Rukia scoffed at Urahara's formality. "And you know what will come next. It's starting."

"Wait, what's starting?" Jinta piped up. Lost in my relief that I wasn't the only one who felt out of the loop, I almost missed Ururu's whispered comment.

"What about the man?" There was silence for a moment in which I supposed Urahara had waited for Rukia or Jinta to explain. When they didn't, Ururu continued. "When we carried her away she was mumbling something about him staring at her."

"I didn't see anyone," Jinta dismissed the idea, "She hit her head pretty hard you know." I stuck my tongue out at him even though he couldn't see me.

"Did you see him?" Urahara asked. When Rukia didn't respond he continued talking, but I had stopped listening. My thoughts flew back to the man in the park.

There had been tons of people crowding around the footprint on all sides, but somehow, I had knew he was watching me. I closed my eyes and his face was instantly there, in my mind, as if he was standing right in front of me. Now that I was thinking more clearly about him, I recalled his hair, sleek and black, twisted at the nape of his neck into a long braid nearly reaching his waist. But, what I remembered the most were those deep set, crimson eyes.

The more I thought about them, the more they became the only thing I could see in my mind. I felt a sensation of being trapped, unable to look away from them. It was as if his gaze burned right into me and completely enveloped me. Suddenly, his eyes sparked like flying embers and held so much rage it was paralyzing. I felt myself falling into those pits of fire and just before the flames could lick my skin, a terrible howl broke through my thoughts and my eyes flew open.

The sound pierced the calm air around me and reminded me slightly of nails on a chalkboard. When it finally ended, I flipped over onto my stomach and looked up only to find that my face was inches away from a pair of yellow, feline eyes.

"Yuroichi," I said, relief flooding through my boiling veins and cooling them. The black cat blinked at me curiously and I smiled. She must have meowed at me and my imagination amplified the sound into that howling. Chuckling at my own ridiculousness, I sat up and back onto my knees. Scooping Yuroichi up into my arms, I scratched under her chin, something she never let anyone else do without a good scrape and a hiss. As she purred, I took a few deep breaths, still trying to calm my racing heart.

I placed her down on the ground next to me and leaned back against the shop wall again. I was just about to close my eyes when that noise rang through the air a second time and my stomach twisted into knots. I sat up straight and looked at Yuroichi who was licking her paws and clearly not making the noise at all. _So I didn't imagine it_. I looked off into the sky, over the wall that surrounded the Urahara Shop where, somehow, I knew the sound was coming from. My hands began to tingle and feel strange. They were really hot and tingly, as if I had just stuck them in an electrical socket. I clenched them into fists and took another deep breath.

Rukia came bursting through the door a second later, shouting something back to me about having forgotten an appointment she had. I watched her race around the corner of the wall and shook my head. There she goes again, I thought. Rukia had been running off at random moments ever since I met her, so I had learned not to pay it too much attention; I figured she was just a naturally forgetful person. But this time it felt different. She had seemed a great deal more agitated than usual and didn't even let me say goodbye before she completely disappeared. Could it have anything to do with that noise? Something was definitely up.

"And I have no idea what it is, Yuroichi," I said, the cat turning her face to me in response to hearing her name. I stood up, and looked at the sky again where the howling had come from. "But that noise definitely did _not_ sound human. And I have a bad feeling that whatever it is also made that footprint in the park." Yuroichi meowed at me and I looked back at her. Leaning down to scratch under her chin once more, I left the cat outside. As I stepped back through the door to the shop, however, I could have sworn I saw her looking at the sky in the same direction I had been. _Weird._

Once my eyes got used to the darker lighting inside, I could see that things had pretty much gone back to normal. Had anyone else even heard that crazy sound? Urahara was dozing on his step again, his hat pulled down low over his face. Jinta was reading comics and Ururu was sweeping the floor. All of them seemed far too calm after that conversation I had just overheard. _I wonder what's really going on_, I thought, crossing my arms across my chest and eyeing them all suspiciously.

Whistling floated in from the hallway as Tessai came around the corner. His arms were stretched around the base of what looked like a tower of storage boxes, most likely filled with new inventory. I realized, with a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach, that the height of that tower far exceeded Tessai's own massive 6'5'' frame. He clearly couldn't see where he was going and, with every step, I could see his feet feeling their way along the floor in front of him.

On the very top of the tower, I could see one of the display jars that usually sat in the front of the store, freshly refilled. It was rocking dangerously and, as I watched Tessai get closer to the step, I had a feeling that the jar wasn't going to make it. A strange jolt shot through the center of my body at that moment, and I felt as if time had suddenly slowed down. I could see the jar tipping back and forth like a pendulum as Tessai's foot hovered in the air, searching for the floor beyond the step.

Not really consciously thinking about what I was doing, I threw myself forward, hoping I would make it across the room in time before the glass shattered on the floor. It felt like forever watching the jar finally tip over too far and begin to free fall through the air, Tessai none the wiser. I reached out my hand and, as I felt the cool glass hit my palm and my fingers wrap securely around it, it was as if real time had turned back on.

"Oh, Miss Kobayashi!" Tessai said, surprised. He put down the boxes and, as he was standing back up, he noticed the jar in my hand. Blinking in confusion he looked from me, to his pile of boxes, then back to the front doorway where I had just been standing. "How did you…get over here so quickly?" I realized my heart was beating about a million times too fast as I gazed down at the jar.

"I don't –," I looked back towards the doorway to see Ururu standing still, her broom mid-sweep. Jinta's face peeked out over one of the shelves as well, and both had looks of suspicious interest on their faces. Neither of them spoke a word as my brain struggled to catch up with what had just happened. Why was everyone looking at me so weirdly. Had I really moved that fast? It didn't seem like the door had been that far away, but the more I thought about it the more I understood how odd it must seem.

It would have normally taken about three or four good strides to cross the room at a run, but I could only remember taking one step. I had simply jumped forward and I was instantly at Tessai's side. Looking down at the jar again I let out the breath that had gotten caught in my throat as the reality of what happened. "I don't know," I said quietly, more to myself than the others.

"I think our friend Sayuri's had enough fun for one day," Urahara's drawl surprised me. I looked over my shoulder to see him fanning himself, his hat not as low over his face anymore. "Why don't you go home and get some rest." He lifted his face and his eyes met mine from under the brim of his hat. The joking, goofy man I dealt with every day was suddenly gone and in his place, there was nothing but the fire of authority. His voice held not a tone of suggestion, but that of a command. As I handed the jar back to Tessai, my hand shaking slightly, I could feel everyone watching me carefully as if at any moment I was going to spontaneously combust.

Grabbing my bag from hook on the wall where I kept it, I slung it over my head and across my chest. I walked out the door in silence, shielding my eyes from the still blazing sun and headed for home.


	3. Chapter 3

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

thanks to: Red6, lovelylilvamp66, Moonstar2015, PeaceLoveChelsi, Gwenny-Dear, & Doreen769 for your reviews, favorites, and alerts!

DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW SO I CAN UPDATE SOONER THAN EVERY 3 WEEKS!

m

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

Sighing heavily, I pushed a piece of broccoli around my plate with my fork, too lost in thought to hear the question that Emiko had asked twice already. I was vaguely aware of the volume level in the room dropping slightly before I felt something mushy hit the side of my face and begin to slide down my cheek. As I watched a clump of mashed potatoes fall onto my plate, I heard a giggle from the end of the table. Glancing to the side, I saw my stepmother fighting hard to suppress her laughter, her spoon still in position from the potato launch.

I raised an eyebrow at her and she snorted. Laughing a bit myself, I shook my head and used my napkin to wipe off my face. Emiko put down her spoon and smiled at me sweetly, nothing on her face but pure innocence.

"Finally, she's back," my stepfather, Isamu, said quietly from across the table. Looking up at him, because he still towered over me even while sitting down, I stuck out my tongue. He chuckled softly and put another spoonful of food into his mouth.

Turning back to Emiko, I sighed. "Sorry. It's been a long day. But what were you saying?"

"I was just wondering how work went. You seem a little bothered," she said, picking up her glass and taking a sip. In my mind I saw flashes of the day's events: an upturned vase of flowers, the crater in the park, an evil grin, and a falling jar. How was I supposed to tell my stepparents about _any_ of that? About how I almost passed out _and_ defied the laws of motion? That was a bit heavy for dinner conversation. Plus, there was no way they would ever even believe me, and if they did, they would just worry that something was wrong. And the last thing I wanted was a trip to the therapist.

"It was…interesting," I turned back to my plate and popped that piece of broccoli into my mouth. Sneaking a peek up at my stepparents, I could see they were both waiting for more information. I figured I could spare them the juicier details. "Mr. Urahara sent us into town to pick up a few things and we saw that weird hole thing in the park." A look of understanding washed over both of their faces.

"Kisuke always knew how to keep people occupied," Emiko chuckled and Isamu smiled in agreement.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," I said, scooping up some potatoes. My stepparents had known Kisuke Urahara for years; they had met when he started supplying them with certain herbs and weird mixtures they used on some of their plants. They were first and foremost botanists, who dabbled as florists on the side, and owned the most beautiful greenhouse in Karakura Town.

When I had begun living with the Kobayashi's, they were kind enough to ask Urahara if he would offer me a job in his shop. They were always doing things like that for me. My grip on my fork tightened as I felt that familiar lump in my throat. Emiko and Isamu had accepted me as their daughter, no questions asked, from day one and I would forever be grateful to them for that.

The first time I had met Emiko, I was a bit taken aback by her energetic, carefree and highly humorous attitude. She was a young soul in an older body, but she never seemed to let that stop her. Always ready with a smile and words of encouragement, she somehow managed to bring the sunshine back into the dark void that had become my life. Emiko's bubbly personality was perfectly balanced by her rock of a husband Isamu's calm and peaceful demeanor. While his vocabulary was sparse and he mostly kept to himself, I found Isamu to be a comforting presence. He was rational and kept me grounded when my imagination strayed back into my foggy past, and resurrected the pain of those memories, even the ones I couldn't remember. Those were the ones that hurt the most.

The laugh lines around Emiko and Isamu's eyes and mouths, and their kind hearts soon removed any doubts that I had about entering into the foster care program at the Karakura Children's Center, where I had been living ever since I was released from the hospital. Together, they made me feel right at home and quickly convinced me to come live with them. A few months later, the adoption papers were signed and I was swept off into a brand shiny new life.

As I stood up from the table, I gathered our empty plates and cups and brought them into the kitchen. Placing them in the sink I turned the water on and let everything soak for a few minutes. Turning around, I leaned back against the counter, watching my stepparents laugh and joke about something that had happened at the greenhouse earlier. I smiled at how things had seemed to return to normal for the moment. But it hadn't always been this cheerful in the house.

It was really hard when I first moved in; I had a rough time getting used to all the changes. I was still having the nightmares at that point, but whenever I would wake up screaming, both Emiko and Isamu would spend as much time as necessary with me until the storm inside me had calmed and I could fall back asleep. I missed my mother insanely, and everything had just happened so quickly. But, as time went on, Emiko and Isamu found ways to wiggle into my heart and I truly did love them. They were my protectors from nosy neighbors and strangers who found my scars disturbing or who wanted to know how I got them. I had been the talk of the neighborhood for a long time, but eventually people got bored and I became just another oddity in this strange town. I would always be in debt to the Kobayashi's.

I turned back to the sink and picked up the sponge, squirting a blob of dish soap on it. As a few little bubbles flew up around my face, I settled in to do one of the most normal things I had all day. After all the craziness at work, a simple task like washing the dishes seemed incredibly calming and was just what I needed. Instead of letting my mind focus on everything that had happened, I concentrated on scrubbing all the food off of the plates and silverware. Once I had finished I took a shower, then retreated to my room.

Even though my window was open as wide as it could be, the air inside barely moved. There seemed to be no end in sight for the heat wave that pressed down upon the town, even at night when the sun had set. Walking over to the open window, I caught the faint scent of flowers. I breathed it in deeply, closing my eyes and smiling at the smell that I now associated with being home. My window looked out on the backyard which sloped up to form a hill at the very back. If you climbed up to the top you could see my entire street, plus a few others. But, the best view was the one right below you, in my backyard.

The Kobayashi's, their love of plants seeming to spread everywhere, had turned the entire yard into a floral jungle of sorts. The grass was rarely cut and reached up past the middle of my calves. Scattered throughout were bunches of all different flowers from roses to lilies to tulips, to ones I didn't even know the names of. There _was_ a path that wound through the space, but it was so covered over by moss that it looked more like a green carpet. When the weather wasn't so brutal, I would enjoy just sitting under the large tree on the hill and reading. Even just lying in the grass, the blades tickling my skin and being surrounded by the flowers was relaxing.

Placing my hands on the bottom of the window sill, I leaned out as a very faint breeze caught a few tendrils of my hair and brushed them across my face. It was so quiet outside; I couldn't even hear the crickets. Was the air really that thick? Looking down into the yard, I tried to follow the path with my eyes, but lost it near the base of the tree. Then, my attention was drawn higher.

Squinting slightly, I leaned out the window a little further. I couldn't be sure, but I thought something had moved among the branches. It had only been a glimpse of a shadow, but a gut feeling told me that there was definitely something out there. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and, despite the warm temperature, I could feel goose bumps rising on my arms.

"It would be a lot more helpful if I could make out a little bit of what you are," I said quietly. "Where's the moon anyway?" Looking into the sky, I saw only a bit of silver peeking its way around the edges of some clouds. "Hmph." I sat down on the sill and crossed my arms. "Some help you are."

Obviously I didn't get a response, but I had hoped that breaking the silence would calm my nerves. I had an unnerving feeling that someone was watching me, but the darkness was relentless and there was no way I could make out if something was hiding in the branches.

Suddenly, barking rang through air nearby and nearly sent me over the edge of the window. My neighbors must have let their dog out. Evidently he had sensed the trespasser as well as he kept lunging at the fence that separated our properties. I was sure I heard a hiss from somewhere out in the darkness. There was some rustling in between the barks from the dog and I narrowed my eyes even more to try and see a little better. As the moon finally slid out from behind the clouds, all I could make out was a black cat slinking its way through the grass and around to the front of the house. I let out a breath of air in relief and rested my head back against the window frame. _I need to calm down or I'm going to send myself into cardiac arrest one of these days…._

There was a knock on my door and, as it opened slightly, I could see Emiko poke her head through. Once she saw me, she held out a pile of clean clothes as if trying to buy herself passage into my room. I laughed and ushered her inside. As she placed the clothes on top of my dresser, I slid off the window and started putting them away. Emiko sat on my bed, fanning herself.

"Phew," she said, blowing a stray piece of gray hair off her forehead. "Isn't this weather just awful? And it's September! It should be cooling off by now. All of my flowers are going to think they don't need to get ready for their winter nap." I smiled as I hung my school skirt in the closet. Emiko always referred to her plants as if they were people. I found it very entertaining; it was just another one of her many endearing, childlike qualities.

"I'm sure they'll all be ok," I reassured her after seeing the truly concerned look on her face. I placed the last few shirts neatly in a dresser drawer and then turned around to lean back against it. Across from me, hanging on the wall, was the full sized mirror Isamu had put up beside my bed for me when I first moved in. Usually, I hated spending time looking at my reflection, what with the whole me resembling a human zebra thing going on. But, I was wearing a tank top and shorts so my stripes were pretty much all you could see. _I wonder if that's all anyone sees when they look at me..._

Walking forward slowly to stand in front of the glass, I traced a finger from my shoulder down, swirling around my arm along the path of the darkened skin, feeling the familiar, yet baffling, warmth it emitted. Normally, one would think dead skin would be colder because it was, in fact, dead. But, like with everything else, I was the exception to those common sense laws of the universe.

I wasn't self-conscious about the scars; I never put much stock in what anyone thought of my appearance. It was more that I hated when someone would ask about them. I could never think of an appropriate explanation because I still didn't know what they were from myself. Instead, the painful thoughts of my past would be dredged up once again and the pang of emptiness inside my chest would hit me like a giant wave on the shore line. The guilt of not being able to remember always fueled that wave, scooping me up and carrying me out to sea where I thrashed around wildly for some shred of the truth.

Emiko got off the bed and came to stand behind me. She gathered my loose, damp hair at the nape of my neck and with deft fingers, though calloused from handling countless thorns and vines for years, began to braid it. I closed my eyes as she softly folded my hair over and over itself while humming quietly. Even with all the questions flying through my mind, all the worries, guilt, and uneasiness, I felt a calm flow through me with Emiko there. Reaching forward, she held out her hand for a tie to finish off my braid. I pulled one off my wrist and handed it to her.

"There," she said, placing her hands on my shoulders. "You look beautiful." She always told me that whenever she thought I was worrying over my skin predicament. I smiled back at her, not in the mood to really explain what I really _was_ worried about, and she kissed side of my head. "Get some sleep, ok? You have school in the morning."

As Emiko left the room, I began to pull the sheets back on my bed. Everything was still until an unexpected gust of wind tore through the hallway and out my window, sending my door flying back on its hinges. There was an empty hanger on the handle, and as it swung past my dresser, it crashed into the small jar of flowers Emiko had placed there a few days ago. I watched as the jar rocked back and forth dangerously, caught in a moment of stomach clenching déjà vu, and then finally righted itself again. Walking over to it, I removed the hanger from the door, still staring at the jar.

I had moved so quickly without even thinking about it when I had caught the jar at the shop earlier. For a moment, I wondered if I could possibly do it again. Peeking my head out my door and down the hall, I made sure all the lights were off and I could hear Emiko and Isamu watching TV downstairs. I decided to set up a test. I took a small glass figurine from my dresser and placed it on the windowsill at the far end of the hallway. If another gust of wind came, I knew it would knock the figurine right off, but I wouldn't know when that would happen. It would be spontaneous, just like Tessai's jar. Pulling out a shoe from my closet, I used it to prop my door open. Standing all the way back at my window, I took a deep breath and waited.

As the seconds ticked away, I tried to let my mind wander so I would be taken completely by surprise. The dog next door was digging somewhere in his yard, and a car horn sounded from a few blocks away. Suddenly, I could hear the leaves outside begin to rustle, and the curtains of the hallway window flew up, as did the figurine. Throwing myself forward, all I focused on was how imperative it was that I caught that little monkey before it hit the hardwood floor. I felt that same sensation of time slowing down, and I felt my foot make contact with the floor only once, when I was suddenly standing up straight by the hallway window. Looking down, I opened my clenched fist to find the glass monkey, perfectly safe, in my hand.

"Woah," I breathed, my brain scrambling again. Emiko appeared at the foot of the stairs and looked up at me confusedly.

"You ok, hun?" Pasting on a fake smile, I assured her that I was and then headed back to my room. Closing the door behind me, I leaned back against it and looked at the figurine in my hand again, honestly too awed to speak. _I did it again. How fast was I even moving….I wonder if I can do it at will too, when something's not in danger of breaking. _

As these thoughts ran through my mind, I turned off my light and threw myself down onto my bed, face first. Placing the little glass monkey on my side table, I took a deep breath. I kicked at the sheets, trying to get them away from my already overheated body. Turning on my side to face the window, I watched the curtains billow as they caught the movement of another rare breeze passing through. Today had been such a strange day.

What had Urahara meant when he said "it's starting"? Did "it" have something to do with what made that hole in the park? And _where was_ that thing now? Was it still nearby? There was no doubt I was also included in the conversation seeing as I _was_ the only one who had passed out. Almost passed out, I mean. But what did I have to do with anything? And who was that man I saw? For some reason, in a place deep inside of me, I felt a sense of recognition as I thought of his face again. But I couldn't recall ever meeting him before.

As I burrowed deeper and deeper into my thoughts, I watched my curtains still blowing in the breeze. They swirled around each other, silver in the moonlight and I fell asleep with thoughts of smoke curling its way around my body and a grinning, evil pair of dark crimson eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

thanks to: Red6, lovelylilvamp66, Moonstar2015, Avatarpotter, PeaceLoveChelsi, Gwenny-Dear, Doreen769, WWE-Little-Angel, NeeMou for your reviews, alerts, and favorites!

don't forget, i update every 3 weeks unless i get 5 reviews at an earlier date. so R&R if you want more sooner! thanks for your support so far =]

m

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

"Aw crap, I'm gonna' be so late!" I hurdled over an upturned trash can that had spilled out onto the sidewalk. Almost slipping on some disgusting black mush, I barely dodged a mother pushing her baby in a stroller. "Sorry!" I shouted back, clutching my side as a sudden stitch pain stabbed at me. "Ugh, this is great. Way to start the week off right, Sayuri." Grabbing hold of a light post on the corner, I swung myself around the corner onto the next street, as I did every morning. Mentally kicking myself, I thought back to how this whole disaster had started all because I could never remember to set my alarm clock.

From the moment I opened my eyes I could tell something was off. Yawning sleepily, I rolled over to look at how much time I had until my alarm sounded. That was when I remembered I never set the alarm the night before. Blinking the sleepiness out of my eyes, I read the neon green numbers and saw that I was running a half an hour behind schedule. Like always.

After the five minutes I spent tearing around my room frantically like a crazy person, getting dressed and grabbing all my things for school, I flew down the stairs and ran into Isamu. Literally. The collision threw me back onto the floor and, as he peeled me off the hardwood, I smoothed out my clothes and re-tucked my shirt. Silently, Isamu held out his hand and offered me an apple, smiling. I obviously didn't have any time to eat a real breakfast. Grateful that at least someone had their head on straight today, I took it and yelled a thank you back to him as I ran into the kitchen.

I bit into the apple and held it tightly between my teeth as I searched for a water bottle in the pantry. Finding one on the bottom shelf, I shoved it into my bag, making sure I didn't crush the flower I had also placed in there the night before. Finally heading out, I passed Emiko who was gathering the mail from the porch, still in her bathrobe. She asked if I wanted a ride to school as I skipped the last few steps. Instead, I ran down the walkway and shouted over my shoulder, "That's ok! I have to make a stop first, but I'll be fine! See you later!" Emiko laughed and waved as I tore down the street.

I shook my head in anger at myself as I came back to the present. "I guess there's no point worrying about it all now. I'll get there when I get there, like usual." And with that, I tossed my apple core in a nearby dumpster and cleared my mind, trying to remember on which corner I had seen that little girl the day before. I knew it was at least on the way to school, thankfully, and that there was a telephone pole stapled with posters of the firework festival from back in June. I kept my eyes open and, when I finally found the right block, I skidded to a stop at the corner before it. Leaning over, I braced my hands on my knees and tried to catch my breath; if that little girl was there today, I definitely didn't want to scare her again.

When my heart had slowed down to a normal human pace and I was able to breathe, I walked forward. The little girl wasn't there, I saw, but the vase still was. Kneeling down, I opened my bag and dug around to find the water bottle. Uncapping it, I thought I saw a quick flash of pink out of the corner of my eye, but I made sure not to look. Sudden movements usually scares things away, or so I had been told. Moving the small white flowers aside gently, just as my stepparents had taught me, I poured about half of the water into the vase.

I looked up through the strands of my hair that hadn't been pulled back by my headband, and saw the girl's big eyes watching me from around the corner. Smiling, I rearranged the flowers and softly said, "There we go. Good as new, huh? What do you think?" There was a breath of surprise as she realized I was talking to her, but the child stepped out from behind the fence anyway. She crossed her arms behind her back shyly and inspected my work. "Oh wait! I almost forgot!" I opened my bag again and pulled out a fully bloomed pink rose, the same shade as the girl's shirt.

Making a space carefully among the white flowers, I dropped my gift into the vase with a flourish and sat back. A wide smile broke out across the girl's face as she gazed at the flower, and I couldn't help but laugh. Maybe she would forgive me for being such a freak and knocking the vase over the day before.

"How's that?" I asked. She turned to me and, a second later, flung her arms around my neck.

"It's beautiful!" she told me through a few tears. "Thank you so much! It's the prettiest flower anyone's ever brought for me!" At first I smiled, glad that I had made her happy. She must live a lonely life if a simple flower made her happy. I mean, she was wearing the exact same clothes from the day before. Even her hair looked exactly the same. It was almost as if she hadn't even left the corner. As if she just stayed there all the time, waiting for someone to bring her flowers. Which were for the dead. The smile quickly faded from my face as the girl's words hit me.

Catching my breath, I pulled the girl back gently and held her small hands in mine. As I looked into her eyes, I realized that instead of being able to really focus on them, I was seeing the festival poster on the other side of her head. But that was crazy. People weren't transparent. But I was holding her hands. I could feel them in mine, although they were neither warm nor cold. Just…there.

"These flowers…they were brought here for you?" I asked carefully. The girl, still smiling, nodded vigorously and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. How is that possible, I thought? The vase and the flowers in it were clearly left as a death memorial. Maybe they were really for someone else this child knew, like her mother or sister, I told myself, trying my best to sound convincing in my own mind. Looking down at my hands however, I could see my own skin through hers and my breathing became choppy as I felt my stomach drop heavily. This girl was clearly no longer among the living.

"How can I see you?" I whispered, more to myself than to her, but she answered anyway.

"I don't know. Most people around here can't see spirits, but some can. Like you! And the animals, but they never listen to anything I say." She crossed her arms and pouted a bit. "Oh, and that boy with the spiky orange hair! He brought me the white flowers." I looked up at her. Spiky orange hair? The only person I had seen in Karakura Town since I moved here with hair like that was Ichigo Kurosaki. Ichigo was another one of my classmates at school and his family owned a small medical clinic nearby. Could it be that he could see spirits too? Man, what the hell was going on lately? Maybe I really did hit my head much harder than I thought.

Thinking of Ichigo suddenly reminded me of school and I realized that I was wasting time kneeling on the ground trying to figure out what was happening to me. I jumped up and grabbed my bag. Before I could speed off, I felt a small hand grip the hem of my skirt. I looked into the girl's green eyes and was caught off guard by the loneliness I saw in them, as well as heard in her voice when she asked, "Will you come back and see me again?"

If she really was a spirit, as unlikely as I wished that would be, it suddenly hit me just how scared and lonely she must feel. Never being able to communicate with people. Stuck in a world where she could never again go home, yet was unable to find her way on to the next world. I could relate to that, I thought. I was stuck between two worlds now too: my past and my present, separated only by some catastrophic event that I had erased from my memory for reasons still unknown even to me. I knew the loneliness. I knew the fear. I knew the uncertainty of what lay ahead. I couldn't just leave this kid to keep going on her own, so I smiled and placed my hand on her head.

"Of course I will. And I'll bring you some other flowers to add to your collection ok?" She smiled again and clapped excitedly.

"My name's Rikku," she told me, extending her tiny hand towards me.

"I'm Sayuri. It's very nice to meet you." I shook her hand, again marveling at how there was no temperature to it.

I waved to her as I ran down the street, once again noticing the pressure on my chest subside as I reached the main road. Looking back I noticed something strange just before I saw the girl vanish before my eyes. On her chest, there seemed to be some kind of metal plate. How it was attached to her, I couldn't tell, but it didn't look like it could come off easily. Hanging from that plate was a chain with enough links that it reached down to her waist. _Hmm, I wonder what that's for._ A car horn nearby snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Gah! How much time did I waste?" I took off down the street again, hoping to at least make it to school before the bell. "Wait a second." I stopped running and looked down at my feet. Wiggling my toes in my shoes, I had a sudden idea. "I wonder…."

Looking around, I waited until there were barely any people still walking on the street. I could only imagine what kind of drama this would stir up if anyone saw me. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. Clearing my mind, I tried to remember. _I have no idea how exactly this works, but all I did yesterday was think about how much I didn't want that jar to break, and then the figurine. Well now, I'm thinking about how I really really REALLY don't want to have to deal with Miss Ochi if I get to class late. So-_

I braced myself, opened my eyes, and took a leap forward. Instantly, my surroundings became a blur, and I only caught glimpses of things as I felt my feet momentarily touch the ground before they pushed off again. I held on to my bag tightly, and focused on urging my body forward. Even though things were passing by quickly, I could still sense where I was going. It was such a strange feeling, as if the people and objects I passed sent out vibrations letting me know where they were. I swerved in an out of the foot traffic I came upon as people shopped and made their way to work, and let out a small laugh. This feeling of being hyperaware was absolutely crazy. It was almost like being invisible for a few seconds until I touched back down to Earth.

I probably only had minutes left and school was still at least a few miles down the street. Taking one last deep breath, I pushed myself harder and suddenly came to a halt. I was just outside the front gate and before me stood Karakura High School, complete with students making their ways inside for another fun filled day of learning. I reached a hand up to scratch my head when I felt my hair sticking out in all different directions.

Quickly I pulled out my headband and ran my fingers through my hair a few times, pulling on the brown strands. Speedily smoothing it down and pulling it back into place again, I finished in record time and ran my hands over my head to check for loose hairs. Once I got it all sorted out, I smiled, feeling accomplished. But suddenly, it seemed as if my hyper speed run had finally caught up to my body. Gripping the fence for support, I felt my body collapse sideways, my legs like jelly. Breathing heavily, I used up the rest of the strength in my arms to lower myself to the ground.

"Maybe," I gasped out loud, "That wasn't such a good idea after all."

"What wasn't a good idea?" A shadow fell over my body and I felt my heart skip a beat. Had someone seen me? Looking up, I dreaded who my captor would be.

"Oh, Orihime." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Hi. I was just, uh, well you see I was-" I stammered, sounding like a complete idiot. Orihime blinked back at me, confused and waiting for my explanation. But I had none. I didn't know what was happening anymore and suddenly, the exhaustion caught up with me. Lowering my eyes I admitted, "I don't know. Today's been so crazy and it's not even lunchtime yet." I wrapped my arms around my chest, trying to hold myself together, feeling the tiredness and confusion mixing together. Panic was beginning to settle in, and it was frightening. "What's going on," I whispered.

"Oh, I know what you mean!" Orihime said, kneeling down next to me. "This morning I woke up with the weirdest cravings. All I wanted to eat was rice balls sprinkled with curry powder and whipped cream! I had them for dinner last night, and I guess my tummy liked them so much it just wanted more. So I found one left over in my fridge. But then I realized that it was actually from a week ago and I didn't feel so good. I didn't even know if I would make it to school today. So then-"

As I listened to Orihime ramble on about her morning and her trip to school, I couldn't believe how she had completely misunderstood my comments. I couldn't tell if I was relieved, or a bit disappointed that I couldn't confide in anyone. In the meantime, she _was _making me feel a bit better. She always had a knack for that, knowing just what to say to make me laugh or smile. Between her beautiful orange hair, kind brown eyes, and full, gifted figure, Orihime Inoue was the envy of almost every girl in our class. But I liked her because she was funny and sweet and always seemed to look on the bright side no matter what, even if she was a bit ditzy sometimes. In a world constantly besotted by bad news and accidents, that was a truly valuable gift, I thought. Listening to her now calmed me down and I could feel my strength returning.

The bell to signal the start of school began to ring, and both of us jumped up.

"I'm late!" we both shouted at the same time. After a moment of silence in which we both just stared at each other, smiles spread across both of our faces and we began to laugh.

"Come on Sayuri, let's go to class," Orihime said, holding out her hand to me. Grabbing my bag from where I had dropped it on the ground, I placed my hand in hers and she began to drag me across the school yard towards the front doors. Despite how upset I had been, I couldn't help but laugh the whole time we were running to class. Once we got to the right floor, I let go of Orihime and stopped in front of a glass display case.

My eyes widened as I took in my rumpled reflection. I looked like a wreck. I smoothed my shirt and re-tucked it, for the second time today. Fixing a few folds in my skirt as well, I turned around to make sure nothing was sticking out or placed anywhere it shouldn't be. I reached down to pull up my socks, and then stood up to make a final check.

While I wasn't as gorgeous as Orihime, I had been told I wasn't bad looking. I was just sort of, average. My hair fell a few inches below my shoulders and was a chocolaty brown color. Pretty boring, if you asked me. I wasn't very tall, but I wasn't short either. Again, nothing very exciting. Besides my scars, the only other intriguing things about me were my eyes. They shifted between shades of silver and an incredibly light gray so much that I wasn't really sure what to call them.

I ran a hand nervously over my arm; why did it have to be so hot outside? The weather was forcing me to wear clothes that showed most of my skin and thus, my scars, which made me so uncomfortable. However, remembering back to my first day at Karakura High, I had been the _only_ one who seemed to be bothered by them. Unfortunately, I didn't have a thrilling action packed story about how I got the scars to tell my classmates which, as I could see on all their faces, was a big letdown. But seriously, what kind of crazy stuff went down in this town that a human zebra girl was taken so lightly?

Smiling as I remembered how everyone seemed to lose interest in me almost immediately after I arrived, I didn't see Orihime lean out of the doorway until she yelled my name.

"Sayuri, come on! Miss Ochi's not here yet! We made it!"

"Coming," I yelled back down the hall. I walked towards my classroom and as I approached it, I looked up to see the sign above the door. It said 2-3, just like always. Home sweet home, I guess. As I entered the classroom, a few people turned and waved. Rukia smiled at me from across the room where she stood with Orihime, Ichigo Kurosaki, and a few others.

Making my way over to them, I couldn't help but remember what a different feeling I had had walking in to this same room just a few weeks ago. Thinking back to that day, I realized that while another storm was stirring inside me, things on the outside were finally beginning to settle in.

ooo

"And that, class is how you find the square root. Now if you'll turn to page 132, we'll do another problem. You just write this here, and then you switch this with that, and add this to that and-" Yawning, I glanced back up at the board as Miss Ochi scribbled down another math problem while talking a mile a minute. You would think that her constant chattering would be enough to keep you wired, but after a few minutes it just sounds more like an annoying mosquito buzzing around your head.

Letting her voice fade into the background, I turned my gaze to the window. A few clouds were creeping their way across the sky, which was an electric shade of blue today. According to our principal, a storm was coming. He told us during the morning announcements that he could "feel it in his bones," but the weather was just as clear and stifling as it had been all week. _Who knows, maybe we really will get a break from this awful heat._ I had decided not to bring my jacket for the day; it was either that or I could die of heat stroke just to save myself from an embarrassment that only made sense to me, which I decided would be a pretty stupid way to end my life. Running my hands over my bare arms I noticed how, even in this warm weather, my scars still managed to stay a few degrees hotter than the rest of my skin.

Sighing heavily, I looked back to the board where Miss Ochi was chattering away and writing out a particularly long problem. I looked around a bit, locating each of my friends around the room.

Over to my right was Rukia, back straight and fully attentive to the lesson, like always. Ichigo, who sat next to her, was the complete opposite. He was slumped over a bit, leaning his chin on his hand and also gazing out the window. Catching his eyes, I rolled mine to convey my boredom, and he grinned in agreement.

Uryuu Ishida sat at the front of the room, ramrod straight just like Rukia and somehow managing to keep up with Miss Ochi. _Brainiac, _I thought. Chad Yasutora (whose real name was Sado, but everyone called him Chad anyway) was a bit behind him and…well, I never really knew what Chad was thinking. His face was constantly expressionless and he rarely ever spoke. But when he did he was kind and sweet, with a calming presence that could make even Miss Ochi stop and take a few deep breaths. Orihime sat to the other side of me, closer to the window, where she daydreamed pretty much all through class.

Laughing a bit at the way her mouth was hanging open, I thought back to how I had met them all that first day. Each of them was so entirely different from one another, yet somehow they made up a complete group with friendships running thicker than blood. It still baffled me how, even back then when we had only just met, there had seemed to be a silent acceptance of me among them all. It was as if they sensed that, like them, I was different in ways other than the obvious physical ones.

They each had their own peculiarities; small, strange aspects of their personalities that no one else around us seemed to notice but me. Like how Rukia could be smiling and laughing so sweetly while her eyes cynically analyzed every inch of you, inside and out. Or, how Ichigo always managed to be at the right place at the right time, especially when a fight was about to break out. Somehow, I had found a niche in their group where I fit perfectly and had wedged myself in. Even though I didn't understand why, our friendship seemed just like that: a perfect fit.

Looking back down at my textbook I grinned to myself, thinking back to how that very first day had turned out to be nothing like I had ever expected.


	5. Chapter 5

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

thanks to: Red6, lovelylilvamp66, Moonstar2015, Avatarpotter, PeaceLoveChelsi, Gwenny-Dear, Doreen769, WWE-Little-Angel, NeeMou, Happy-Valley, and Evangeline43 for your reviews, alerts, and favorites!

sorry it's late guys, it's been a crazy weekend. the first of two flashback chapters =] hope you enjoy. R&R please!

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

*THREE WEEKS AGO*

I sighed and blew a few strands of hair out of my face. Slumping in the chair a bit more, I saw the eyes of my first enemy at Karakura High School peek over the computer monitor. Ms. Tanaka, the woman in charge of admissions, glared at me and huffed. Again. So, naturally, calling upon my stellar people skills for assistance, I glared back.

"Are you sure that-" she started in her nasally voice that made me want to blow my nose a million times.

"Yes. I'm 100%, absolutely sure that Emiko didn't forget any of the paperwork. No you can't call her, there's no phone inside the greenhouse. No, because she thinks a cell phone has to do with bacteria. Yes. 16. No. I don't know." I had answered the same questions at least five times in the last hour, and recited them all in a bored monotone. Glaring at me yet again, the old woman shrunk back behind the computer, like a wrinkly turtle retreating into its shell. Rolling my eyes, I began to pick foam stuffing out of a hole in the seat cushion_. Maybe, one day, her face will stick like that and she'll only be able to glare at everything for the rest of her life,_ I thought bitterly. My new school experience was off to a phenomenal start.

As the keyboard clicked rather angrily at me from across the room, a few students ran in and out to drop papers in random wire baskets hanging on the walls. Each time, I turned away so no one could see my face. Out of Karakura High's bustling population of about 1,000 students, I was the _only_ new kid. Besides having to deal with that, the very last thing I wanted was a bunch of strangers gawking at me while I sat alone in the office with The Shrew. After all, Ms. Tanaka just had a gift for spreading happiness and cheer wherever she happened to waddle.

As a few more students ran in, I pulled my uniform jacket tightly around me. Even though my scars were hidden, I still felt self-conscious, as if they would burn through the fabric at any moment and expose me for the freak I was. The temperature outside was pretty high and most of the kids that I had seen so far had chosen to just completely leave their jackets at home. I would be branded the oddity for sure if I tried to walk through the building baring my striped arms and legs.

If I had been allowed to go to class when I had arrived, instead of being shackled to the musty _Admissions and Student Records _office, I might have managed sliding into my classroom unnoticed and snagging a seat in the back. But now, I would probably have to stand in the front of the room and introduce myself. Great. Me public speaking. What an experience that would be. This whole thing was so unfair; it wasn't even my fault that I barely had any paperwork.

I had never been to a doctor before the accident. Whenever I had gotten sick, my mother had always taken care of me with special medicines she would acquire from a source that was always unknown to me. They never tasted very good, but they sure worked fast. I'd be up and running around the neighborhood again almost the next day despite how high my fever had been. However, with the bigger things like when I had broken my ankle, and my arm at another time, I couldn't understand why she wouldn't take me to a professional. Was she afraid they wouldn't do a good job? Whenever I asked about it though, she would simply stroke my hair and say that she preferred taking care of me herself.

Then, a look so terrifying would come over her face that I soon dropped the subject. After a while, it scared me so much I just stopped asking altogether. Her eyes would gloss over, andshe would seem so far away and unreachable. She seemed, in those moments, so fragile and vulnerable that I was often at a loss for words. It was completely unnerving and, as a child, I never really thought any further into what she could have been feeling or why she was so against anyone else having the ability to inspect my body. What was she hiding about me that I couldn't even figure out?

Whatever that secret was that my mother had taken with her, it was now causing me a great deal of trouble. Due to my lack of interaction with medical personnel, I had a very short medical history. I had never gotten any vaccinations, yet somehow managed to never need them, and I had never had a physical exam before my stay in the hospital a year before. All of the necessary information regarding my health fit on one single sheet of paper, which Ms. Tanaka was very displeased with. She was convinced I was just another "bratty hooligan" and that I was, for some unfathomable reason, hiding the rest of my papers from her. She had been trying to contact Emiko ever since I had arrived, to no avail obviously.

The bell signaling the end of the first class began to ring and soon, a flood of students crammed themselves into the small office. Ms. Tanaka was suddenly surrounded by papers that needed signing, filing, and stamping, so she had to use all her energy to try and keep order. In the confusion, I slid off the chair and grabbed my bag. Slipping out the door, I let myself get swept up in the crowd of students as it moved through the hallway. Keeping my face turned down, I focused on not stepping on the backs of anyone's shoes. Avoiding a confrontation of any kind was my plan for the rest of my time here, seeing as confrontations usually led to crowds and lots of staring eyes.

I had been attending the local school in my neighborhood until I was fourteen. I would have gone to the high school the next year, but my mom suddenly pulled me out; that was around the same time that we moved to Karakura Town. My mom then began to homeschool me, but whenever I asked why, I was usually met with the same freaky, glossy eyed expression. When she got like that, part of me wanted to hug her and protect her from whatever thoughts she seemed to be drowning in. But then, another part of me understood that if there was something to make my thick-skinned, never-afraid-of-anything mother react the way she did, maybe I really didn't want to know what was going on.

But something inside my mom was definitely slipping. She was becoming less and less like the no-nonsense woman I had always known. After all, she was the one who had taught me how to defend myself after a couple of neighborhood boys had pushed me around for not giving them my lunch, and I could not ever recall a moment in which I saw her shed a tear. But soon after we got to Karakura Town, I noticed her getting very nervous and fidgety and she was always staring out the front window as if waiting for someone. But Karakura was nothing like the town we had left.

My old neighborhood was a tough one to grow up in. You learned at a young age that the best way to stay out of trouble was to stay quiet and unnoticed. Luckily for me I was mortified whenever I attracted attention, so that was a very easy thing to do. However, always keeping your head down made it very difficult to meet people, and I went through most of my life without any close friends. Except for my mom. She had always been the closest thing I'd had to a friend.

Cutting out of the flow of students heading down the hall, I pulled open a staircase door that didn't seem to be harboring a lot of traffic and was met with a sudden silence as it shut behind me. Taking a deep breath, I pulled my schedule out of my pocket. It said that I was in class 2-3, meaning grade 10 and group 3. The room was up on the top floor so, tucking the paper safely back in my jacket pocket, I started to climb, shivering a bit at how no noise seemed to permeate the stairwell walls.

When I reached the top floor, I paused before I pushed open the door; there were voices coming from the other side. Pressing my ear to the cold metal, I listened as students chattered away about the weekend, the summer, and some television program about spirits as they walked to class. I knew that the longer I stayed behind the door, the harder it was going to be to just slip into class. But my entrance into the hallway would not go unnoticed, and the realization that I was so close to interacting with a large group of strangers made my heart skip a beat in nervous anticipation.

As the voices finally died away completely, I braced myself and pushed the door open. The whole hall was lined on one side with large windows that looked out onto one of the sports fields surrounding the building. Stopping at them before I continued on, I watched a few stragglers run back inside from their P.E. class. The sky was an electrically bright blue that morning, with only a few scattered clouds making their way slowly and lazily from one horizon to the other.

Tearing my eyes away from the glass, I turned to start walking down the hallway when suddenly, someone slammed into me from behind. Falling forward, I dropped my bag and threw my hands out to meet the floor before my face did, skidding a bit. A burning erupted on my knees and elbows, and, turning over to sit, I saw the skin in both places was rubbed raw.

"Sorry, I didn't even see you. You okay," a gruff voice asked. Looking over, I saw a boy pushing himself up onto his knees on the floor next to me, his eyebrows pulled together in either frustration or worry, I couldn't tell. After being distracted for a few moments by his fiery orange hair, I remembered I wasn't a mute and that he was waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My fault for standing right in front of the door," I said quietly, avoiding his eyes. Feeling them on my face anyway, a blush crept its way across my face. It was bad enough that I was uncomfortable in front of strangers, but attractive strangers were even worse. Playing with the hem of my skirt, I tried to distract myself from his attention, but I could see him tilt his head out of the corner of my eye.

"I've never seen you before. You new here?" I nodded, and he smiled. I was shocked. He seemed like a bit of a tough guy judging by his rough tone and semi-bored facial expression even though he was asking if I was alright. Seeing him smile however, was like watching the sun come out on a cloudy day; his whole face suddenly changed as his eyebrows separated again and his eyes lit up. I couldn't help but smile back, it was that infectious._ Wow…smiling at a stranger. Making progress already Sayuri,_ I thought. Nodding at me, the boy said, "I'm Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Sayuri Kobayashi," I managed back.

"ICHIGO! WAIT FOR ME! I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE EITHER!" Another person came tearing out of the stairwell and skidded to a halt right in front of where Ichigo and I had landed. This time it was a girl, a bit shorter than I was, with jet black hair and stunning violet eyes. "What are you doing on the floor? And who are you?" I blanched a bit under her piercing glare and looked down at the floor again.

"No need to be so sweet, Rukia. Sayuri's a new student, so quit lookin' at her like she just killed someone." Ichigo stood up and ran his hand through his hair, tousling it even more than it already was. The girl's eyes widened in shock, and her entire demeanor changed so suddenly I almost got whiplash from trying to keep up.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to be so rude, I was just caught off guard that's all. It's not every day that someone new shows up here. I'm Rukia Kuchiki, it's really nice to meet you!" Smiling, and clasping her hands together behind her back, Rukia was suddenly thepicture of innocence. Bewildered I remembered how Ichigo's mood had changed at the same speed and thought to myself,_ Is everyone bipolar here? _

"Back off Chappy," Ichigo said, pushing Rukia aside, "You're freaking her out." Rukia stuck her tongue out at him and crossed her arms in mock insult. Reaching down, Ichigo offered me his hand.

As I reached out to take it, the air suddenly felt much thicker around me and I had a bit of difficulty breathing. It almost felt like someone had their hand pressed against my chest, squeezing all the air out of my lungs. As I pressed my hand to Ichigo's, I felt a slight pressure emanating from his palm, almost pushing mine away. When his fingers closed on mine, it was as if an electric shock suddenly shot through my arm, and I became instantly light headed. Pulling me up, Ichigo seemed to be unaware of the exchange that had just happened between us, but I fell back against the window ledge, my palm feeling as though it were on fire.

"Woah, you alright? You don't look so good," Ichigo stepped towards me, reaching out his hand to touch my shoulder.

"No!" I said, much louder than I had meant for it to come out. I pulled my shoulder back and away from him, worried that another touch from him would send that painful shock through me again. My head was pounding and felt as if it were going to split open at any second. I could make out Ichigo's confused and slightly hurt expression (so much for being a tough guy), and I felt terrible. I wanted to tell him I didn't mean to act like a freak, but all I could do was hold my head which now felt ready to explode.

Rukia had a strange expression on her face as she glanced from me, to Ichigo's hand, up to his face, then back to me again. Something about the way she studied me when she thought I wasn't looking made me think _she_ had at least noticed what happened.

Stepping towards him she said, "Why don't you go on to class. I'll make sure she's ok. Tell Miss Ochi we'll be right there." As Ichigo looked down at Rukia, who was at least two heads shorter than him, they exchanged a look that held an entire silent conversation. Apparently coming to an agreement, Ichigo nodded and began to walk away.

Closing my eyes, I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself down. I could feel my headache lessening as I listened to Ichigo's footsteps getting farther away, and my heart had slowed down from the frantic thumping it had taken on just moments ago. My palm still felt warm where Ichigo's had touched it and it tingled a bit, as if it were being poked by pins.

It was a few minutes that Rukia leaned quietly on the windowsill next to me before she spoke. "You feeling a bit better," she asked, her voice filled with gentle concern. Opening my eyes, I realized that breathing had gotten easier as well, and I nodded. "Good," she said. Leaning down she picked up the bag I had dropped earlier and held it out to me. Smiling she said, "Come on, I'll walk into class with you. It won't be so scary with a friend." Looking up at her face, I was shocked at the sincerity and innocence I found there, all traces of her earlier suspicious expression gone.

As she started to walk down the hall I followed her, contemplating what she had just said. "A friend." Although I barely knew her, when I looked at Rukia I felt this twinge of trust stir somewhere deep inside me. I couldn't explain it, but somehow I knew that Rukia was a good person and I was instantly relieved that she was walking into the classroom with me.

Placing her hand on the door handle, Rukia looked over her shoulder at me and winked. I gave her a small smile, and she pushed open the door. As we stepped into the room, I could hear a terrible hush fall over the students. Avoiding their gazes, I followed Rukia to the teacher who sat at the front of the room.

"Miss Ochi, this is Sayuri Kobayashi. She's a new student." That last sentence was repeated about twenty times as the class began to whisper, and I could feel my insides burning in embarrassment. My new teacher, Miss Ochi, gave me a once over through her slim glasses, and then stood up. Motioning to everyone to quiet down, she picked up a pile of books from her desk and handed them to me.

"Welcome aboard, Miss Kobayashi," she said, her voice cheerful yet stern. "I've been expecting you. Those are all yours for the year so take good care of them, or else." Laughing a bit at her own joke, she placed a hand on my back and led me to the front of her desk. Why don't you take a seat over…there, next to Orihime." She pointed towards the back of the room where there were two empty seats, but I was more inclined to jump right out the window. Not only was I standing in front of my entire class as they ogled at me like some attraction at the zoo, but I would have to walk past pretty much all of them to get to my seat.

A girl with long orange hair almost as bright as Ichigo's waved her hand in the air and bounced up and down in her seat. Clearly, that was Orihime. Taking a deep breath, I began my descent into hell and started walking towards the back of the room. Making sure I didn't step on anyone's things or trip over my own feet, I kept my eyes on the ground. Finally arriving, I put the books down and slid into my seat, noticing that there was still one more empty desk behind me.

Looking back up at the class, I noticed that everyone had pretty much turned around in their seats and was staring at me intently. Did they expect me to make a speech or something, because that was never going to happen. Ever. After a few people raised their eyebrows in expectation, I managed at least a small wave and a quiet hello. Rukia and Ichigo smiled at me from the next row over, and I felt a little bit better. Just a little.

"Why don't you tell us about yourself, Sayuri," Miss Ochi said. A few students nodded while others vocalized their agreement, and I figured that since there was no quick way out of this, I might as well just get it over with.

"I'm Sayuri. I moved here about two years ago from Hidori. I live with my adoptive parents. And-"

"Wow, you're from Hidori," one boy interrupted from across the room, "You don't look like you kick much ass." A few kids laughed at this, including me to my surprise, but Miss Ochi shot the speaker a glare and told him to watch his language. I didn't blame him though; Hidori had a bad reputation.

"I know the Kobayashi's. They do all the floral arrangements for my mom's wedding business. They're super nice," another girl said from the front of the room. I heard compliments of Emiko and Isamu from a few other kids as well, and I smiled.

"Yeah, they're really great. I couldn't ask for two sweeter people." Rukia was smiling at me and nodded, as if to say I was doing a good job.

"What happened to your real parents?" Even though I had expected the question to come up eventually, it still cut through me like a knife. My eyes dropped to my desk, and I could feel a tug on my heart. I searched for the words, any words actually, to explain my situation to these complete strangers, but I just couldn't. I didn't even know the answer myself.

Sensing my distress, Miss Ochi decided it was time to cut in. "I think that's enough for right now everyone. Let's get back to our reading for today. Turn to page 17." And with that, I gratefully lowered my eyes to my book and opened it.

ooo

Lunchtime came pretty quickly after that, but not quickly enough. All through class no matter where I looked I was met with a pair of inquiring eyes. After a while, I just focused on my textbook, still feeling their stares boring into me. When the bell finally rang, I sighed and laid my head down on the pages, feeling that stupid familiar blush still on my face. Why did I have to be so bad with attention? And why did it have to be so obvious.

"Hm, you think she's ok?" Opening my eyes, I saw a shadow fall over me. Sitting up straight, I almost collided with whoever was leaning over me. "Woah, easy there," the girl said, holding up her hands as if to ward me off. "Don't get all excited now."_ Aw man…what's her name,_ I thought frantically, trying not to seem too stupid on my first day. _It's…Tess. No, no. Tommy…? No, that's stupid. It's Tatsuki! Yeah, that's it! Her name is Tatsuki! _She was the smartass with the pixie cut who sat behind Orihime next to the windows. While some of the other students hadn't really enjoyed it when she called them out on being stupid or ignorant during class, I thought she was pretty funny and I liked that she openly spoke her mind. I admired anyone who was able to do that easily.

"Oh, sorry," I mumbled, looking back down at my books.

"Don't worry about it," another voice chirped from behind Tatsuki. "She's got a really hard head so it wouldn't have hurt her that much. There was this one time when we were eating at my house and I started daydreaming that I was a professional boxer and I accidentally swung at her and smashed right into-" Tatsuki stepped aside as Orihime began to rant on and on. At least two seconds into her explanation I lost my train of thought and couldn't manage to keep up with her. But, Orihime just plowed on, not even aware that her audience had tuned out. Sure, she was beautiful, but she seemed like a bit of a ditz to me. Tatsuki, however, just shook her head and laughed.

"I think you're just confusing her, Orihime," she said, placing a hand on the top of her friends head and ruffling her long orange hair a bit. Orihime laughed too, and then smiled down at me. Ok, maybe she was a sweet ditz.

"Hey, Orihime, Tatsuki!" Looking over to the door I saw Ichigo, Rukia and two other boys standing in a group. "Come on, we're going up to the roof," Ichigo called, a bored expression on his face. Glumly, I gazed back down at my desk. I already knew what would come next: they would skip off to join their friends and I would be left to eat alone in the classroom, just like I always had been. Closing my book slowly, I couldn't help but feel a little let down. And here I was, thinking I might make a new start in this school.

"I can't today," Tatsuki replied, "I've got a meeting at the dojo."

"Alright." I watched as Tatsuki gathered her bag and walked passed Ichigo, waving back at Orihime before she stepped out the door. I turned my eyes back down to my desk, preparing myself to sit alone right there and eat.

"You too Sayuri! Let's go!"

My head snapped back towards the door so quickly that I thought it was going to spin right off my neck. Astonished, I just sat still for a moment, not sure that I had heard correctly._ Did he just…tell me to go with them? _I could feel my eyes widening in surprise, as a warm feeling spread through my body.

"Yeah," Orihime chirped. "Come eat with us!" Genuinely smiling for the first time today, I grabbed my bag from under my desk.

Swinging my legs out into the aisle, I failed to notice another student walking past with an open cup of water in his hand. As I stood up, my head crashed into the bottom of it, sending it shooting up into the air. It was like slow-motion as I watched, with a sinking feeling, as it flipped over and came tumbling back down. But, of course, not before a fountain of water had rained down on me, leaving me completely soaked.

There were a few gasps as all the conversation in the room came to a screeching, stomach twisting halt. I sputtered a bit as the boy I had walked into howled with laughter, along with a couple of his friends.

"Way to go, freak." So much for that warm happy feeling.

Looking down at my uniform, I could feel my throat closing up in embarrassment. It began to burn as if I was choking back tears, but I wasn't. I hadn't cried in a long time. I had learned from living in Hidori that most enemies took crying as a weakness, and taught myself to stop whenever I felt the urge. But now, if I wasn't going to cry, then my face was surely going to melt off from the heat my blush was emitting.

I was focusing so hard on not falling apart completely that I hadn't noticed Ichigo grab the water boy by his shirt and throw him up against the wall. Orihime had come to stand beside me and held onto my arm as the group by the door moved back into the room. They came to stand around me, forming a wall of bodies between myself and the rest of the classroom.

I watched as Ichigo defended me, something no one had ever done besides my mother. Then again, I had never become close enough to someone for them to feel obligated to come to my aid. But these kids were clearly different. I looked around at all of them, their faces sincerely angry.

"-you jackass! Now apologize, before I beat you into tomorrow!" The boy, although quivering in fear as Ichigo shook him a bit, was trying his best not to appear so terrified. Leaning over, he shouted a panicked apology at me and then sped towards the door. "What an idiot," Ichigo added, bringing a small smile back to my face.

"Just forget about him, Sayuri," Rukia said, crossing her arms.

"Forget about all of them. They're just morons anyway," the boy with the glasses said, shooting a few gossiping girls a nasty glare. The boy next to him, who was about three times my size (upwards and outwards) nodded in agreement. Ichigo even yelled at some students nearby. I just stared in awe at how quickly they had involved themselves in my mess, something that would have been suicide back in Hidori. Yet, they had all come back for me, to defend me, without even knowing me.

Just like with Rukia, I felt this strange trust for all of them even though I couldn't completely explain where it came from. It felt as if there was a string inside of me, pulling me towards each of them, connecting us. I focused on the feeling, something I had never before experienced and it became even stronger and felt thicker, turning the strings into ribbons that I could almost see in my mind.

Orihime tugged at the dripping sleeve of my jacket and said, "Maybe you should take this off for now."

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, straightening his shirt. "It's pretty wet, and it's already like a hundred degrees out. Why are you wearing it anyway?" Panic flooded into my stomach, causing it to knot up painfully. I stared at him with pleading eyes, wishing I was anyplace but this classroom at the moment. The others seemed to be in agreement and I realized that there was no possible way to talk myself out of removing my jacket. I swallowed hard and focused on the floor tiles.

Orihime held my bag for me as I undid the buttons. Closing my eyes, I slipped one arm out and then the other._ Here it comes_, I thought. _They'll all regret helping me now for sure. _Someone in charge of the cosmos had clearly woken up that morning and thought up all the ways to possibly make my first day a living hell.

I had already been expecting the gasps and whispers from the other students, but I was not prepared for the reactions of my rescuers at all.

"Alright then, can we please go eat now? I'm starving." My eyes shot open and I watched as Ichigo simply turned back towards the door. They all did. Not one of them said anything to me. There were no questions, no disgusted looks. They simply ran their eyes over the scars, taking them in, and then followed Ichigo. I stood there in shock. Did they really not care? Was this really something that did not bother them? Who were they…?

Rukia stopped at the door and turned back, motioning for me to follow them. After a few more moments of uncertainty, through which Rukia stayed at the door waiting for me, I took a step towards her. Then another, and another, and soon I had reached where she was standing. Smiling, she looped her arm through mine and dragged me down the hallway. As we reached the group, Orihime handed me back my bag and we all began to climb the stairs to the roof.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Orihime slapped herself on the forehead and turned to me as she walked. "Introductions! You already know me and Rukia and Ichigo it looks like, so that leaves Uryuu!"The boy with glasses pushed them higher up the bridge of his nose and blushed a bit as Orihime flung an arm around his shoulder and hugged him tightly against her chest.

"Hello." Uryuu didn't smile at me, but something about his tone at the moment was kind, and I could just tell that he worked hard to come across as a tough guy. Kind of like Ichigo.

"Yeah, and this is Chad," Ichigo added, pointing his thumb back over his shoulder at the boy walking behind me. He was absolutely huge, which was pretty evident even if he was sitting in a desk. So, naturally, when he stood up, his size was that much more impressive.

"I thought your name was Sado," I said, confused.

"It is. Chad works too." Clearly a man of few words, Chad reminded me of Isamu. His voice was deep and rumbly, his face stoic and straight. But as he looked at me, Chad's eyes were kind and crinkled a bit in the corners. I knew that if his cheek muscles worked like a normal human's, he would be smiling at me.

"Nice to meet you two. Thanks for um… letting me eat with you." I looked back down at my hands as they gripped my bag even tighter.

"Well of course," Rukia laughed from my side. "Why wouldn't we?"

"Yeah, that's what friends do, right?" Orihime smiled and crossed her arms behind her back. There was that word again. Friends. Thinking back, I really had never had anyone I could consider a friend that wasn't my mother. There were neighborhood kids that were safe enough to play with, but I had always felt distanced from the other children. I felt different, even though there was nothing wrong with me even before the scars.

These people, who I had known for perhaps an hour had stood up for me. They had ignored my scars as if they were nothing but freckles, and they had invited me over the threshold and into their group. I suddenly realized that the warm feeling spreading through my body was acceptance, and that brought a genuine smile to my face.


	6. Chapter 6

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

thanks to: Red6, lovelylilvamp66, Moonstar2015, Avatarpotter, PeaceLoveChelsi, Gwenny-Dear, Doreen769, WWE-Little-Angel, NeeMou, Happy-Valley, and Evangeline43, Goldensaurus, Zororenjilover, butterfliesinspring, and imagination junkie for your reviews, alerts, and favorites!

sorry i'm a couple days late. it was spring break this week and i was away, but here it is. enjoy!

m

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

I was so far into my memories that I hadn't heard the bell ring to signal it was time for lunch. Still gazing out the window, I rested my chin on my hand and absentmindedly watched the clouds scuttle their way across the sky. The flashback to my first day at Karakura High School had led to several others of the following weeks I had spent with the group I now called my friends.

For the past year I had done nothing but shut myself away, trying, and failing, to remember what had happened the night my mother died. But, after that first day with Ichigo, Rukia, and the others, I found myself acting more like a teenager than I ever had before. It was like I had been transported to a separate universe, one in which I actually connected with people and was somewhat happy.

Most of my time since I had arrived at Karakura High was spent eating lunch with everyone on the roof or at Orihime's for a late night study session. On the weekends we would all go for outings in the park or along the river while talking about anything and everything. All five of them were such a strange mix of emotions and opinions that there was never a dull moment among us. The more time we spent together, the more I noticed small cracks in the wall I had put up to shield myself from the outside world. Every smile, every inclusion, every late night phone call made those cracks turn into gaps, and those gaps into whole missing chunks. I found it getting easier and easier to be myself, to not think twice before I spoke my mind or entered into a discussion. I laughed and smiled and for once, felt the pain inside me lessening a bit.

But, just as my social life had bloomed beautifully, every rose has its thorns. There would always be moments when, out of the corner of my eye, I would notice one of my friends watching me, warily. It was as if they were waiting for something to happen; like at any moment I was just going to spontaneously combust. When I would turn to look back at them however, they would already be gazing in the opposite direction faster than I could even blink.

Whispering among themselves was just as common as the staring. I could never completely tell if they were speaking about me because…well, I never knew what the hell they were talking about in the first place. I would only catch snippets of the conversations which, as any seasoned eavesdropper would know, never amounted to anything in the end. There was one phrase, however, that I heard them all use very often: spirit energy. But, what that was supposed to mean I still had no clue.

Back in the classroom, I was still sitting alone, lost in my own thoughts when suddenly, I felt the book my elbow was resting on slide out from under me. My face went crashing down to meet my desk before I could react and the two collided with a loud _smack_.

"Ow," I groaned into the laminated wood. I sat up slowly, massaging my nose, to see Ichigo standing beside my desk, book in hand. He looked bored as always, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"That was necessary _why_?" I asked, my voice a bit muffled from behind my hand. Ichigo shrugged irritatingly.

"We called your name twenty times. Had to get your attention somehow. Everyone's gone up already. It's time for lunch." Glancing at the clock on the wall I realized he was right; I must have completely zoned out. "Come on already," he complained, tossing the book back to me.

Almost instinctively, I caught it with surprising ease. Shocked, I blinked a few times and looked up to see Ichigo's eyes filled with the same surprise as mine. It was a well-known fact among us that hand-eye coordination was not my forte. Something like this just did not happen. _Well, neither does getting to school from the middle of town in a matter of seconds. You're just having quite a successful day aren't you, Sayuri…._

Turning around, Ichigo began to walk towards the door. "Don't make me drag you up there," he threatened, looking over his shoulder at me with a grin, all traces of his suspiciousness gone. Apparently, it wasn't something he felt needed to be worried about. Rolling my eyes, I reached under my desk for my bag and jumped up from my desk.

"Oh shut up. I'm coming," I mumbled. Chuckling, Ichigo crossed his arms behind his head and waited for me to reach him at the door. As we walked down the hallway, we came upon the spot where he had crashed into me that first day. I hadn't even remembered that incident until just a few moments ago. I had also completely forgotten about the weird sensation I had felt when I touched his hand for the first time. It reminded me of opening a door on an extremely windy day and having all the air knocked right out of you. I had gotten so dizzy it was terrifying and from that moment on, I took care to never let him touch me again.

"Oh, by the way, Uryuu's in a bad mood today, so just watch out," Ichigo drawled in his usual bored tone. I gazed out the window again at the sky which was almost bursting at the seams with so much blue. A storm was definitely on its way.

"Why, what's wrong?" I asked, not really paying attention. Uryuu always seemed to be in a bad mood whenever Ichigo was around, which was all the time, so I didn't understand how today would be very different from any other.

"I don't know, something about not getting enough sleep. But his whining is starting to give me a headache, so don't say anything to piss him off, alright?" Looking up at him, I raised an eyebrow in surprise and stopped in the middle of the hallway.

"Out of the two of us, you're worried that _I'm_ going to say something to set him off? Have you ever met yourself?" Ichigo glared back at me but I stood my ground. Rukia had showed me that although Ichigo acted like a tough guy, he really wasn't. Pissing him off just to prove he would never do anything to get back at me had become an entertaining game of mine.

"You know-" But before he could even get a response out of his mouth, I stuck my tongue out at him and dashed up the stairs to the roof, laughing. Throwing open the door, I took a deep breath of fresh air. It smelled like damp earth, another sure sign that a storm was brewing.

I walked around to the side of the enclosed staircase entrance to find everyone already eating. They were all near the gate that lined the edge of the roof. Chad was leaning against the rails, staring off into the sky like usual. Rukia and Orihime were sitting together, chattering away about a test we had coming up later on. Uryuu was sitting off on his own, tearing his sandwich apart and eating it piece by piece while jumping at any small sound made within ten feet of him. His eyes rested half open above dark purple circles and his mouth was turned into an even deeper frown than usual. I could see what Ichigo meant; he looked like hell. _I wonder why he hasn't been getting any sleep. He doesn't strike me as the kind of guy to stay out late…, _I speculated to myself_._

Ichigo arrived behind me and flicked the back of my head with his fingers. Pushing him away playfully, I laughed and sat down with the girls, angling myself so I could still keep a worried eye on Uryuu. He always seemed so sensible and…_together_. Seeing him like this was a bit unsettling. I winced as I watched him rip off another piece of his sandwich and angrily stuff it in his mouth.

Looking away, I realized something else that was surprising and totally out of the ordinary: everyone was here for lunch. No one was running off to return a forgotten book to the library or a form to Ms. Tanaka. There was no one who had left something in their desk that took over half an hour to retrieve. For the first time since I started school at Karakura High, I wasn't being force fed a transparent explanation as to the disappearance of Ichigo or Rukia while everyone attempted not to look me in the eye.

I often wondered where they were really running off to, because that was clearly what was happening, but I never had the courage to ask. Whenever someone decided they had to leave, there was a look on their face of such seriousness it was as if someone's life was at stake. Something inside me told me it was a bad idea to delay them from what they were doing.

"What do you think Sayuri?" I snapped back to reality as Orihime turned to look at me. "Do you think we'll need to know definitions for the test?"

"Hmm," I popped a potato chip into my mouth as I thought. "Well, I-" But, my opinion was never heard because at that very moment, my heart almost failed me. A howl pierced the air around Karakura High School so dreadful, it made me cringe. The hairs on my arms stood on end as I recognized the undertone of nails being dragged across a chalkboard. My eyes widened and I stood up immediately, dropping my sandwich on the ground. As it sounded again, I almost wanted to cover my ears the sound was so terrible. But instead, I turned around in the direction the noise seemed to be coming from, straining my eyes against the ordinary layout of Karakura town beyond the roof's gate.

"Sayuri," Orihime had stood up with me and was looking at me with concern on her face.

Walking to the gate, I wrapped my hands around the vertical bars and squinted. Laser like, I scanned every street I could see, but there was nothing around that looked like it was big or frightening enough to be making that noise. Turning back to the group, I noticed how most of them hadn't even moved. Could they not hear it? The howling was still going on. But how could they not…? It was so loud it felt like my eardrums were going to burst. Looking around, I suddenly noticed that Ichigo was gone. Again. _Funny,_ I thought, _he didn't mention having to go anywhere._ Rukia was staring at me strangely, her eyes narrowed and serious, just like Ichigo's had been earlier when I caught the textbook he threw to me.

As that howl tore through me again, I looked back through the bars of the gate, remembering what the little ghost girl had said about Ichigo being able to see spirits. _He couldn't know anything about that noise could he? Could that girl? But this is the first time I've ever heard it so it can't be what's made him leave each time before this. No…wait a minute…. _I suddenly gripped the bars tighter. _This isn't the first time I've heard it. It's the same noise as yesterday. The same noise I heard right after the-_

The park. And the footprint. And that man.

His eyes were instantly in my mind and I could picture them clearly right in front of me, burning as if they were on fire themselves. Something stirred in the back of my mind; a feeling of recognition, as if I had seen those eyes sometime even before the park. I shook my head vigorously, trying to get rid of the demonic gaze, but it remained. As those demonic eyes bore farther into me, I could feel my body freeze and become rooted to that spot. My hands felt so hot, as if they were being welded to the gate. In fact, I could feel my whole body heating up unnaturally. I was on the verge of remembering something, I could feel it. Something that had to do with that man. What was happening to me?

With one great tug, I managed to detach myself from the metal, stumbling backwards and into someone standing right behind me. As strong hands secured around my upper arms, I struggled frantically, still locked in the glare of those eyes.

"No! Please! Let me go! Don't hurt her!" A terrified voice screamed in my ears, and the feeling of being held still in that way felt so familiar. I reached out with my mind trying to understand, my fingertips brushing the edge of a memory that had been so long forgotten. A memory of that night.

Then, for the second time that month, I had water poured on my head.

"Sayuri! Snap out of it!" Uryuu was shaking me and gripping my arms so tightly it actually hurt. As my vision cleared, Rukia also appeared before me, holding an empty water bottle in her hand. Breathing heavily, I reached up to push the wet hair off my face. My heart was beating so wildly against my ribcage, I was sure the bones had to be damaged. I was starting to feel a bit dizzy again as my vision shifted in and out of focus.

"I need to sit," I mumbled. Uryuu helped me to the ground, loosening his hold a bit but never letting go completely. I kept my eyes open, taking a few deep breaths, terrified that if I closed them those nightmarish ones would return. I realized it had gotten quiet and the howling had stopped.

Looking around I saw that I had been moved away from the gate. We were now against the side of the staircase entrance, in the shade. Rukia knelt beside me and placed the back of her hand against my forehead. Pulling it back almost instantly, she gasped in surprise.

"Whoa, you're burning up!" I looked at her in surprise. On the contrary, I was actually starting to feel much better. My heart was slowing down to a normal pace and the cold water had helped to cool me down.

"Really?" I said, touching my forehead as well. It did feel pretty warm. Orihime knelt beside me with nothing but terrified worry on her face. Her eyes were wide and shiny and I looked back at her with nothing but confusion in mine, and probably fear as well. She threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me to her. Something dripped on my shoulder, and I realized she was crying. As her sobs filled my ears, I was at a total loss for words. I lifted my shaking hands and placed them on her back, hugging her tightly in return.

The thought of causing Orihime that much pain filled me with guilt, and I hugged her harder. I buried my face in her shoulder and let myself get swept away in the feeling of having someone to lean on; someone who could help carry the load for even just a few moments. The whole time I was aware of Uryuu's hand still resting on my back, and of Rukia and Chad kneeling right next to Orihime.

They were all there for me. My friends. Just like that first day. My throat felt tight but I swallowed the feeling and pulled back, my face red from the commotion I had caused. Looking down at my hands twisting in my lap, I heard Orihime sniffle.

"I'm sorry. I have no idea what…. I don't know where that…." Sighing, I realized I didn't even know where to start with an explanation. So I skipped it altogether. "Thank you. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh stop it," Rukia said and she punched me in the arm. I looked up alarmed at the gruffness of her voice, but saw her smiling gently at me. "We're allowed to worry about you, you know." Orihime nodded vigorously and Chad grunted in agreement.

"Yeah," Uryuu tilted his head and through his glasses I could see that his eyes had softened from the sandwich-destroying glare they had been earlier. "What happened?" Looking back down at my hands, which still felt very warm, I again searched for the right words.

Ever since that first day that I had had lunch with Ichigo, Rukia and the others, they had gotten me to severely loosen up. Those first few days we talked about many things including my scars and how I had been in some kind of "accident". I told them I had no memories of the night when it happened, but I had woken up a few days later to learn my mother had not survived and that I now sported a fashionable new set of stripes. They had let me do most of the talking, and listened intently as I told them what I could about myself and my strange life.

I had never spoken so much to complete strangers in my life. But those weird little feelings of safety, trust, and connectedness were always present in my mind, egging me on and building my confidence. I had opened up and soon, each of them did the same in return. I learned a lot about them all within my first week of school, and had woken up on the weekend with an accomplished feeling. For the first time in my life, I had made real friends. There was an invisible thread that tied us all together, and even though I couldn't understand why, I knew I could talk truthfully to them.

"I'm not too sure," I said quietly. They all looked at me expectantly, and when I met Orihime's red puffy eyes, I couldn't bring myself to lie just to alleviate her from worrying. She deserved the truth. All of them did. "I heard something. Some kind of…howling noise. It was so strange. I heard it yesterday too, at Urahara's. Right before you left, Rukia." She had a strange expression on her face, as if she were trying to gaze right into my thoughts. "So I got up to look out the gate, and then-"

How could I word the next part so they would understand? They hadn't seen the man in the park; they wouldn't know how terrifying his eyes were and how they seemed to look straight through you. "And then I heard a voice. I think it was mine. Like a memory, from the night of the accident." No one said a word. Orihime reached out and placed a hand on mine. I looked up into her big, brown eyes and saw such a change there it made my stomach curl into a knot.

She looked strained, her mouth pulled into a tight line and her eyes were serious and guarded. "It was probably just the heat," she said, and I stared at her in disbelief.

"Wh-what?" Orihime lowered her eyes and fiddled with the hem of her skirt.

"It was probably just the heat or something," she mumbled, letting several strands of her orange hair fall over her face so she could avoid looking at me. I was still unsure that I had heard her correctly. Just the heat? How could Orihime, of all people, not believe what I was saying? Orihime, who came into school every day re-enacting TV shows from the night before in crazy little voices. Orihime, who believed aliens were real and had been living in the drainage system of her house for weeks. Orihime, whose imagination was bigger than her boobs. Now, she wouldn't even look me in the eyes as she basically told me I was lying to them about what had just happened.

"You can't be serious," I said, no louder than a whisper because my voice had suddenly failed me.

"Neither can you." Rukia stood up sharply from her place beside me. As her eyes met mine, I shivered at their coldness. There was nothing but a somber disbelief written all over her face as she gazed down at me. Rukia too? I felt my hands clench into fists, surprised at the flame igniting in the pit of my stomach. I had never been angry at Rukia before.

"You think I'm making this up?" I looked at the boys for help, but they too were staring at the ground, wearing the same restrained expression as Orihime, and avoiding me. Their sudden estrangement was gut-wrenching and I could feel the furious heat rising inside me. "Why would I do that? How could I do that? You know me, I wouldn't lie to you. I have no idea what happened and you think I would just-"

"That's enough." Rukia's voice was hard and suddenly sounded years older, making me feel like a disobedient child that had just been slapped. She turned away from me and I sat up straighter, shrugging Uryuu's hands off my shoulders. As Rukia walked away silently, the others stood up and fidgeted around for a few moments, unsure whether they should follow her or stay with me. I laughed. An ugly, shallow laugh so full of bitterness that it sounded nothing like me.

"We should go in." Chad said, his voice sounding far away in my mind. I didn't respond, but turned my head to the side, away from them. Taking the hint, they gathered their things and shuffled back towards the stairs.

And just like that, the thread was cut.

Why did I think it was a good idea to trust them with the truth? I had just smashed down the wall I had tried so hard to put up against the world over the past year. But, in that single moment of relaxing just a little, I had shown them how mentally unstable I really was. There was no friendship that could be formed in only a few weeks strong enough to withstand the level of insanity that came with hearing invisible howling monsters and flailing around like a crazy person. I was stupid for thinking I had found it here.

And what was up with Rukia? Her reaction hurt the most because over the past few weeks I had become closer to her than any of the others. It was like she instantly shut down and closed a door in my face. She wouldn't even hear me out, or try to help me. I was no longer her friend in that moment, but an outsider who had clearly stumbled upon something she didn't want me talking about. What unspeakable topic had I stirred up?

Defeated and disappointed, I sighed looked down at my hands. They were in tight fists, holding the edge of my skirt in two identical vice grips. Opening them up, I flexed my fingers which were stiff and tingling slightly. My palms still felt hot with the anger that had flared inside me moments ago. There were slight indentations from some of my nails, but none deep enough to draw blood. Pressing my palms to my face, I gasped as their heat almost burnt holes through my skin. Pulling them away quickly, I stared at my hands worriedly.

Rukia had said I was burning up before and even though I felt fine, maybe something really was wrong with me. I was hearing things, having flashbacks, moving at the speed of light….Maybe I _was_ going crazy.

As I gazed at my hands, worrying that something in my brain had finally snapped, I could swear I saw a small spark leap from my left middle finger to my ring finger beside it. Blinking quickly, I tried to dismiss it as another of my hallucinations, until the same thing happened on my right hand as well. This time, the small spark that resembled a mini bolt of lightning wrapped itself around my right ring finger and stayed there. Turning my hand over slowly, I watched, mouth open, as it leapt across my fingertips until it reached my index finger, leaving small shocks in its wake. Folding the other fingers into my palm, but leaving that finger pointed, I inspected it further.

It seemed to pulse with a strange energy, shimmering in and out of focus, but consistently staying in its place. A strange feeling surged through me with each throb. I felt…alive. Electrically charged almost. I was about to look back at my other hand to see if that spark had returned, but as my gaze wavered, so did the little lightning bolt. Returning my focus to it, I had a sudden thought.

Pointing my finger toward the ground, I took a deep breath and braced myself, completely unsure of what was about to happen. At this point, anything was possible in my book; no one would believe me anyway so I might as well go out with a bang. Figuratively…I hoped. Holding my breath, I squeezed my hand a bit and thought only of sending that little spark into the cement. Closing my eyes at the same time, I waited for a _crack_ or a _boom_. Anything. But there was only silence.

Peeking through closed lids, I saw that the spark was completely gone. _Damnit_. I felt like such an idiot sitting there alone, my wet hair sticking to my face, finger pointed at the ground. Squeezing my hand a few more times, I mentally begged the spark to return, but, if it were possible, I only made myself look stupider.

I threw my hands up in exasperation and felt a shock of white hot heat shoot through my finger. _CRACK!_ I froze as a piece of concrete crashed to the ground inches away from where I sat. Slowly looking up, I felt my mouth fall open in utter disbelief and my eyes widen almost painfully trying to take it all in.

The entrance to the stairway leading back down into the building was now missing a chunk out of the top corner. From that point down in a diagonal line, there was a thick scorch mark that was still smoking. I stood up slowly keeping my hands stretched out before me, afraid that any sudden movements might bring the entire roof down with me still standing on it. Bits of ash crumbled and fell from the wall as a slight breeze dislodged them. I was about to touch the black powder when the atmosphere around me wrenched apart as another howl filled my ears.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move beyond the gate. Running to it, I grabbed on to the metal, pressing my face in between two of the rails. _Where did it go…I just saw it…._ My eyes flitted back and forth along the streets that I could see, trying to figure out what I had seen. It had been big that was for sure, so it couldn't be that hard to find.

"Come on, where are you," I said out loud when suddenly, a few blocks away, something caught my eye. All I could make out was an enormous outline that moved in and out of focus. No matter how hard I squinted or widened my eyes, I felt like I couldn't focus on it. Then, I could see a much smaller figure leap into the air beside it, bringing what looked like a huge sword crashing down. That terrible howl tore through me again, but this time it sounded different, in pain almost. I pressed my hands to my ears even though they were still burning. The outline crashed to the ground, bringing a few telephone poles with it, sending vibrations all the way to my spot on the roof. Then suddenly, there was silence except for the cacophonous racing of my heart.

I wrenched myself away from the gate and ran for the door.


	7. Chapter 7

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

Thanks to: Saber Amane, Valerie Michaelis, and xXThe-Cosplaying-BearXx for joining the bandwagon, and all my other wonderful followers.

and at last...our two main characters to this whole shebang finally meet =] enjoy

m

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><p>Chapter 7<p>

A few hours after school had ended, I found myself hidden away in one of the Urahara Shop's storerooms, pricing new items. As I rolled the pricing gun across the lids of "Fujiko's Fabulous Fungal Treatment", I tried to keep my mind off of the events that had transpired earlier in the day. But the work was so repetitive, and it required so little brain power, that I really had nothing else to think about.

After I had tripped my way back down the stairs from the roof, I had headed straight for the bathroom, ignoring the bell ringing through the hallways. Throwing the door open, I winced as it smashed loudly into the tiled wall. My head was pounding and felt like it was being beaten in repeatedly by an invisible hammer. Stumbling to the sinks, my shaking hands fumbled with the faucet as I turned on the cold water, splashing it up on my face. Gripping the sides of the sink, I mentally begged my heart to slow down for fear that it would beat its way out of my chest.

It was utterly silent among the bathroom stalls, the only audible sound being the raspy gasps of air I was trying to force into my lungs. As I stood there, staring at my face, ghostly white in the mirror, I could see the fear in my eyes changing from a glimmer to a blinking neon sign. What was happening to me? The fact that I could now add hallucinations to my list of new abilities was not reassuring in even the slightest way. The super speed…? Ok, yeah. Pretty cool. Shooting lightning from my hands…? Terrifying…but still pretty cool. Being able to see semi-invisible masses of…something roaming around town…? Definitely grounds for admittance into a mental asylum.

Fast forward to the present at the Urahara Shop, I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and yawned. Sliding the box of fungal cream jars back under the shelf, I grabbed another one, this time filled with boxes of a strange growth enhancement powder. As I fell back into the rhythm of swiping the gun across the box tops, I fell back into my thoughts, picking up with when I had finally emerged from the bathroom at school and headed back to class.

Miss Ochi had asked me why I was late and I mumbled something about the nurse which seemed to satisfy her. As she turned back to the board, I put my head down and walked quickly past my classmates toward the back of the room. Out of the corner of my eye I caught Ichigo leaning over and whispering something to Rukia, who just answered with a _shush_. My stomach knotted as I felt her turn her eyes on me. She thought I was a liar and, despite my wish to not jeopardize the only friendships I had ever had, I couldn't help but feel angry at the way she had treated me. Liar or not, something was clearly wrong and she _could_ be a little more understanding. Then again, it wasn't like I had shared the entirety of my strange experiences with her, so how could she know just how much her words really stung? Sliding into my seat, my head was pounding, trying to sort out the arguments for her behavior from both points of view. I saw Ichigo lean across the aisle, concern pulling his eyebrows together.

"You alright?" he whispered. I knew if I looked up into his eyes, I would feel even worse. Ichigo had this way of getting me to always tell him the truth, and already being vulnerable would ensure a public breakdown right there at my desk. So I didn't look at him but just nodded my head. Clearly wanting to protest, Ichigo started to argue back but then stopped. He sat back, looking angry and even though he didn't say anything else, I could see in my peripheral vision the questioning looks he kept shooting me.

For the rest of the day I had kept my eyes down and focused on the whiteness of the pages in my textbooks, tuning out all the voices around me. Once the final bell had rung, I tried to avoid everyone on my way out. I could see Ichigo pulling Rukia aside and asking her something very quietly, that same angry look of confusion still on his face. As her eyes traveled around him and locked onto mine, I knew it was definitely time to leave.

Once I had arrived at work, no one at the Urahara Shop asked me if something was wrong. Rather, my tired eyes and depressed silence screamed out an obvious, "yes," which they all heard loud and clear. Urahara had handed me the pricing gun and told me that storage room three had some new items that he wanted to put out soon. As I went to take it, he had kept a firm grip on the other end. I looked up at him, meeting his dark eyes and found a look that made me feel almost as if he could see right through me and knew what I was thinking. It was times like those, when Urahara seemed to understand the thoughts that I kept silent, that I wondered if there was more to him than met the eyes.

A knock came from behind me, pulling me back to the present, and I turned to find Jinta leaning against the doorframe. Too tired to antagonize him, I just raised my eyebrows questioningly at his presence.

"Kisuke says you can go now. Your shift ended fifteen minutes ago."

"Really?" I pushed the box back under the shelves and stood up. As I brushed some cardboard scraps off my shirt, Jinta pushed off of the door and walked toward me.

"Yeah, really," he said, speaking in a high falsetto that was clearly meant to mimic me. Rolling my eyes, I picked up the pricing gun and turned to face him. "Man, you're a wreck. You've been weird since you came in today. What's wrong? Your stripes on too tight?" He had reached me and stood with his arms crossed, that evil little grin spread across his evil little face.

"Ha," I laughed dully. Reaching out, I rolled the gun over Jinta's forehead, leaving behind a fluorescent orange sticker that read "¥250". Placing my other hand on the top of his head, I began to push him off to the side when suddenly, he grabbed my wrist.

Every muscle in my body tensed automatically at his touch. Without even looking at him, I could feel Jinta's body curve, could hear his sock sliding across the wooden floor towards me. Then, time either slowed down or my perception of everything sped up beyond belief because I was suddenly hyper-aware of every tiny movement and sound that he made.

Not even needing to think about it, I felt my body reacting and beginning to move automatically, as if instructions had been programmed into me. Leaning on the hand still perched on Jinta's head, I jumped into the air at the exact moment his foot would have swept my legs out from under me. Landing back on the ground, I used Jinta's moment of confused surprise to get him. His tiny hands were wrapped around my wrist tightly. Twisting my hand just a bit, I managed to get my fingers wrapped around his and pulled that same arm behind his back and up, twisting it only to the brink of being painful. As he froze, stunned at what had just happened, I leaned down so that my mouth was directly next to his ear.

"Nice try," I whispered smugly. Relishing in my swift victory, I waited a few moments before pushing him away from me and heading out the door.

"How did you…but when did you…what was _that_!" Slipping into another storeroom, I left the lights off and took a second to lean against the wall and catch my breath. I knew I had used my "super speed" to overpower Jinta and, just like that morning, my brain was scrambling to catch up and I felt a bit weak. It wasn't the same level of exhaustion I remembered from my run to school though. I was breathing a bit easier, and my muscles weren't completely screaming in agony. Whimpering, more like. Perhaps the more I used it, the easier it would get. _Maybe the same goes for the lightning too,_ I thought. But, as I remembered those little charges I had created, I also remembered what had preceded them: the howling, my fit, and my friends' faces turning away from me. Rejecting me.

Angrily, I pushed off the wall, feeling my hands beginning to heat up again. Partly because I wanted to get out into the fresh air and clear my mind and partly because I didn't want to electrically charge the shop, I hurried down the hallway and into the front room. Not quite sure or concerned with where Urahara was, I grabbed my bag from the hook and slipped my shoes back on. I slid the door open and almost tripped over something that curled its way around my ankles.

"Damnit, Yuroichi!" The black cat meowed up at me and, after a moment of batting her huge yellow eyes at me, I knelt down to scratch behind her ears, sighing. "You almost broke my neck you crazy cat." Purring contentedly, it was as if she was saying that potentially killing me was well worth getting her ears rubbed. When I finished, she simply strolled back inside without so much as a thank you nuzzle for me. "I hope you choke on a hairball," I said under my breath.

"Everything alright?" I nearly jumped out of my skin as Urahara suddenly appeared beside me. I actually did, however, jump about three feet into the air and backwards into the wall of the shop, smacking my head against it. That was the second time that week.

Rubbing it furiously and glaring at him I asked, "Besides you giving me chronic anxiety?" Urahara simply smiled back at me with that infuriating wide-toothed smile of his I knew all too well. Readjusting my bag on my shoulder I walked away from him and mumbled, "I'm fine."

"You don't need to handle everything on your own you know." I froze mid step, halfway to the lot's exit. How did he always know? Was the burden of the past week weighing me down that obviously? There was no way he could possibly have seen _all_ of the strange occurrences around me lately or known that I hadn't confided in anyone. _Maybe it's just a coincidence,_ I thought, looking back at him, _Maybe he's talking about something else completely. Like asking for help in the store-_

"It's ok," he said. Those two words dropped like a weight into my stomach. I suddenly felt heavy and powerless, my blood going cold in my veins. It's ok. I had heard those words before…. In my mind, they echoed over and over again, spoken by a woman's voice. I felt an indescribable sadness as I heard them, one that I couldn't quite understand. Urahara was fixing me with that look as if he was seeing right into me, again, and in that moment, I really wanted to slap him.

Who did he think he was? How could he possibly think that he understood what I was going through at all? A chunk of my life was missing and it was the key to explaining why the most important person in the world to me was dead. I was going through changes that were scientifically impossible and terrifying. And what did he think? That he could just waltz right in and fix things with some insightful words? That he could fix _me_? He didn't know anything. None of them did. And yet, they had already passed judgment on me. To my classmates, I was an oddity. To Rukia, I was a liar. To Urahara, misunderstood and lonely. The heat in my hands flared dangerously, and in that moment, not one single part of me cared if the whole town was suddenly struck by lightning.

I could feel my face harden, and in his eyes I saw that Urahara understood he had overstepped a line. But I was done hearing him speak, even if it was an apology. "There's nothing _to_ handle," I said in a voice that shook with anger. Before he could respond, I spun around and walked quickly off the lot. The second I rounded the wall, I felt a pressure subside within me similar to the one I had felt near Rikku. Not caring what it meant, I just let myself keep walking. I paid no attention to where I was going; I just wanted to get away.

The wind began to pick up as I stomped my way across town. It tugged at my clothes, pulling them back in the direction I had come as if trying to persuade me to go no further, to go back. Keeping my head down, I just pushed on, too lost in my fuming to notice the wind, or that the sky was getting steadily darker.

It was a strange feeling, the anger I felt toward my friends. It was so strong and painful, as if a part of me screamed out for their sake. I had never felt like this because of another person before, let alone a friend. And perhaps it was _because _they were my friends that I began to feel a twinge of guilt twist its way around my stomach along with everything else. Maybe I was being too dramatic about everything, drawing it out into something it wasn't. Maybe Rukia didn't mean-

But as soon as I thought of her, my vision was overrun by the memory of that look she had given me earlier. It was so cold and distant, very much like the way she had greeted me when we she met me on the floor of the hallway on my first day of school. Back then, her personality had changed so quickly that now I wondered if her friendship was anything more than an act. Could she really have been deceiving me from the very beginning, and I was too wrapped up in my fantasy of finally having friends to notice?

Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, I felt a painful ache in my chest at the idea of Rukia lying to me. Closing my eyes, I could picture the smile she would greet me with whenever she would see me, the way she would whisper sarcastic comments under her breath to me, and that exasperated way she would roll her eyes at me whenever Ichigo did something notably stupid. I could remember the way she would drag me along when I couldn't make up my mind fast enough and the way she stood up for me when I needed her. I had never in my life had a close friend. Someone I could talk to about things that were bothering me and someone I could spend time with doing…anything. Now, I had two: Orihime and Rukia. Their friendships were more important to me than I would ever say, because I had never been one for sentimental speeches. But the feelings were still there and I felt my hands ball into tight fists.

_No_, I thought,_ Rukia would never trick me like that_. Although her current behavior was strange, I had always felt true sincerity in Rukia ever since we had met. And Orihime, while she acted in the same cold and distant manner, had a look of apology in her eyes earlier. It was as if there was something they couldn't say…something they wanted to tell me, but were not allowed. Despite this, I still felt that familiar yet unexplainable feeling of trust push its way to the front of my thoughts, past all the negativity and confusion. Opening my eyes, I nodded once and made myself a silent promise to find out what was going on instead of wallowing in self-pity.

Pushing the feelings of sadness and betrayal I had been harboring all day away, I took a step forward just as a clap of thunder sounded directly over Karakura Town, shaking the ground around me as if something had just crashed to Earth instead of up in the sky. It sent a thrilling jolt through my body and I froze, sensing the tension that suddenly filled the air around me. I could feel a pressure on my chest, heavier than those I had felt before. But, there was another side to it I couldn't quite make out. The pressure this time felt dark and dangerous, and it made the hairs on my neck stand up.

Looking down, I realized my hands were still in fists, my nails cutting into the skin of my palms. Opening them slowly, I could see beads of sweat on my palms. They felt warm and tingly and as I went to wipe them off on my t-shirt, I got a static shock that made me catch my breath.

Eyes widened in surprise, I held my hands out and away from me as I had earlier on the roof, worried I might blow another chunk of cement off a building if I kept moving them around.

The air around me felt thick and still, clinging to me like invisible clothing. I jumped as another forceful clap of thunder shook the ground. Looking up at the sky, I caught a flash of black move across the street out of the corner of my eye. But there was nothing but a wall.

I started walking again, just wanting to get home as quickly as possible. I began to feel uneasy, as if someone was standing just outside my line of vision, watching me. But I was clearly alone on the street. Even though I couldn't see anything, I could feel _something _nearby, brushing against the edges of my consciousness, alerting me to its presence. The more I thought on it and tried to figure out what it was, the hazier it seemed to get.

A creak sounded off to my left. I stopped walking and froze, slowly turning my head. As I began to wonder whether I should just run now, I discovered that the source of the sound was just the gate to the community park swinging slightly in the wind. _Get a grip, Sayuri, _I told myself, feeling stupid for having been so paranoid. I walked over to the gate and slipped through, figuring I could make it home faster through the park instead of around it.

Taking deep breaths, I tried to calm down, telling myself I was being ridiculous. There was no one following me. That rustling bush was just the wind, and those cracking twigs were just animals finding shelter from the approaching storm. I was overtired, my body was running on empty, and my mind was trying to overcompensate for it. That was all. But, no matter how I tried to rationalize it, I couldn't shake the feeling of that pressure on my chest or the strange electricity that hung in the air. No matter how fast I walked, I couldn't get rid of the sensation that something was following me. Something I couldn't even see. Soon enough, I was flat out running down the park path, wanting nothing more than to be curled up in my nice, warm bed at home.

As I rounded the bend, I realized where in the park I was, and knew I would soon come upon the giant footprint. A feeling of dread began to swell inside me as my mind conjured up images of that man I had seen. My steps began to falter and as I reached the jungle gym, I skidded to a stop, the footprint lying in wait a little further ahead. I could see my reflection in the fun house styled mirror; I was panting heavily, my clothes and hair disheveled. I looked as crazy as I felt.

Resisting the urge to slap myself, I took a deep breath and pulled myself together. I was almost home and soon, all of these feelings would disappear. Leaning to the side a bit, I peeked around the plastic slide. For a moment, the thought crossed my mind that I would see that man still standing there. But, there was no one. There was only me.

I slowly walked up to the footprint, noticing that the sky had gotten even darker since I had left the shop, casting contorted shadows from the trees across the grass. They stretched down into the hole like giant, black hands reaching out for something that lay on the very bottom. The wind pushed at my back, urging me to just take a few steps forward and off the edge, then down into the darkness.

The few trees that still remained at the bottom of the hole looked so small from where I stood. They had been completely stripped of their bark and broken into pieces, as if they were nothing more substantial than toothpicks. In the oncoming darkness, their white coloring glowed a bit, and I realized with a shiver that they resembled scattered bones lying at the bottom of an earthy grave.

I felt the wind pick up a bit, warmer than before; a fact that didn't fully register in my mind as I was too transfixed with how strange the trees looked at the bottom of the hole. I didn't notice much of anything else until a large raindrop hit my shoulder. Or, what I thought was a raindrop.

Looking over, I could feel my face contort in revulsion as I took in the glop of…something oozing its way down my arm. Too thick to be rain, the first thing that came to my mind was saliva, but that was ridiculous. A snort sounded from behind me, and I froze, any disgust at the spit wad vanishing instantly. Something _was_ there. _Had _been there all along, just as I thought. Slowly, I began to tilt my head back, terrified at what I was going to find leaning over me.

The air above me was rippling and shimmering slightly even in the fading light. It was as if a veil was covering something, making it almost invisible to me. My brain scrambled to come up with a plan to get away, but I could think of only running. The unknown is the true source of fear, clouding our eyes and allowing so many possibilities to swarm around us that understanding is just not possible. Being unable to come to grips with reality is enough to terrify even the strongest man, and I was no exception.

I slowly inched my foot along the grass to the side, but the moment it hit a twig and snapped it in half, all hell broke loose. A familiar howl wrenched the thick air apart and I reached up to cover my ears in pain. The sound was a thousand times worse up close, making my head feel as if it were being cleaved in half. I felt the air shift around me, but before I could really move away from the invisible creature, something very solid made contact with my side and flung me about twenty feet into the air.

I flew up and over the jungle gym, crashing through a cluster of bushes on the other side and hitting the ground with such force that I was sure I would end up with a few broken ribs. Covering my face with my arms, I skidded through branches that broke on impact, cutting my bare arms and legs, and tearing at my shirt. As I finally came to a stop I lay very still, waiting to see if any of my limbs fell off. After a good number of seconds passed, in which I wiggled every part of my body capable of doing so, I sighed in relief and closed my eyes. I was alive and somehow unscathed. For now.

Another howl sounded and I quickly sat up; I had momentarily forgotten what had thrown me into the bushes to begin with once I discovered I wasn't going to become a vegetable. After a quick inspection I was grateful to find no bones protruding from anywhere and shocked that while I was a bit sore, I was not in as much pain as I would have expected. A loud _snap_ sounded from over near the footprint and I looked up to see a tree bend completely in half before breaking completely. The air next to it shimmered, but as I tried to focus on it, my eyes began to feel strange. It felt like I was wearing contacts, but ones that were clouding my vision rather than sharpening it. I blinked a few times and as I did, something began to slide in and out of focus. Rubbing my eyes a bit, I looked back up to find that the shimmery veil had been lifted and behind it was one of the craziest creatures I had ever seen.

It was absolutely huge for starters, at least three stories in height. The closest thing that it could possibly resemble was a rattle snake. Its head was huge and wide, a pair of round eyes rotating in their sockets. They were completely black, with golden pupils. The lower part of its jaw was covered in some kind of plating that was stark white and resembled, I thought with a bad feeling, bone. Its huge body twisted and turned as it moved, and right below its head was a gaping hole that. I stopped breathing as a forked tongue made its way past the monster's lips and tasted the air. Was it trying to smell me out as normal snakes do?

My fight or flight senses instantly kicked in and I chose the latter. Pushing myself onto one knee, I decided that if it was looking for me, I couldn't stay here, dead ended in the bushes. Looking around, I noticed that the snake's tail had curved all the way around the jungle gym, cutting off my escape towards the park paths that would lead toward the exit. But where else could I go? The dense forest area behind me eventually ended in walls too high for me to scale. The only way out, I realized, with a sinking feeling in my stomach, was to run towards the thing.

I stood up slowly, my heart pounding wildly in my ears, muffling everything. Taking a cautious step forward, I froze immediately after my foot touched the ground, waiting to see if the snake would sense my movement. Nothing about it changed, so I took another step, crossing my left foot behind my right. As yet again the monster seemed not to notice me, I kept moving in a grapevine type way toward its tail end. I kept my eyes on the snake's massive head, just waiting for the moment its bulbous eyes would shift around and lock onto me. I was trying to come up with my next move when I reached what I assumed to be the "rattler" part of the tail.

Up close, it looked like a giant beehive. A shiver ran down my spine as I suddenly recognized the material it was made of. It was the same as the snake's jaw. _It can't be bone. It just can't_. I instantly recoiled, both from the rattle and the thoughts of where the bone had come from, if that was indeed what it was made of. This was turning into the stuff of nightmares, and I could still see no light at the end of the long tunnel I was going to have to take to escape.

Glancing back at the snake's head, I saw that it was turned away from me, tasting the air over the footprint. _Now's my chance._ I stepped closer to the tail, realizing I would have about a split second in which the snake would be oblivious to what was happening. My only way out was to vault myself over the tail and use my super speed to book it towards the exit gate. I had a sudden terrifying doubt that the super speed would work, but pushed it away. I needed to stay focused if I was going to get out alive, just like when I had gotten caught up in street fights when I was younger in Hidori. I had my escape route planned and I was ready to put up a physical fight if necessary. The thought of me fighting this giant snake monster almost made me laugh. Almost.

Taking a deep breath, I looked back at the snake one more time. Its head was turned completely away from me and I realized this was it. But I was so terribly wrong.

The second I placed my hands on the bone of the snake's tail, it let out an ear splitting shriek. I was mid vault when I felt myself being lifted off the ground again. As I swung over to the other side, I scrabbled wildly for some part of the rattle I could hang on to, but it was completely smooth. I felt myself falling, but could see the ground was only a few feet away. I hit the grass and fell backwards, kicking up some dirt on my way down.

Wiping off my face, I opened my eyes and saw the snake's tail at least 100 feet above me. I glanced at the head and froze as a pair of black and gold eyes glared back at me, filled with nothing but pure hatred. A whooshing sound above me drew my gaze back to the tail which was now hurtling back towards the ground _and_ me. It was going to crush me where I lay.

I felt my whole body tingling and prickling, as if it had fallen asleep. The adrenaline was coursing through my veins, pulsing past my eardrums, and making me hyper aware of everything around me. I was suddenly aware of how hot my hands were, as if they had been set on fire. I couldn't think of anything to do. I was immobilized in complete fear and helplessness and as I screamed I threw my arms up to cover my face and turned my head away from my oncoming destroyer.

A white hot heat suddenly erupted in my palms, and behind my eyelids there erupted a burst of light. I opened my eyes to see the snake's tail writhing in the air above me, the tip completely gone and smoldering where it had broken off. There was a dark smoking crack that ran all the way up the rattle as well, one that seemed very familiar. It looked just like the crack I had put in the roof at school.

Looking up at my hands, I felt my jaw drop. Tons of little electric bolts were leaping between my fingers and around my palms, covering my hands with a prickly heat. As I turned my hands over, the bolts didn't disappear, but seemed to grow larger and hotter the more I focused on them.

"No shit," I breathed, bewildered. Slowly, I got my feet under me and pushed myself off the ground, still staring at my hands. I could see the snake in front of me, turning itself around so that it would be facing me and I suddenly wasn't afraid anymore. I realized that this lightning could seriously damage this monster. I suddenly understood the power I held in my hands, literally, and a feeling of naïve indestructability washed over me. For a few moments, I was lost in it, the feeling so seductive and strong. But then, the snake howled again and I saw it rear back, poising to strike.

Lifting my left hand out and aiming it straight for the snake's head, I took a deep breath and held it. I curled in all but my index and middle fingers, hoping to concentrate the lightning a bit more, and pointed them straight ahead. As I exhaled, I sent thoughts of those lightning bolts shooting from my fingers at full force towards my attacker, and they did. It was incredible to watch. A silver white bolt flew through the air and struck the snake just below its jaw. It shrieked again, its tail lashing out and crashing into the tree branches nearby. I was so busy watching the snake's head smoking from where I had hit it, I didn't even notice the branch hurtling down towards me until it was a few feet above me.

I hit the ground and covered my head, all traces of my lightning powers gone. But no impact ever came. No sudden pain on my back or my head where the branch would have collided with me. I opened one eye and looked around. To my side lay half of the branch, its middle looking like it had just been sawed open. My eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. Something fluttered at the corner of my vision, and I slowly turned my head. A very tall man was standing in front of me, dressed all in black, his arm raised in the sky. An incredibly intimidating sword with serrated edges was in his hand, making me swallowed hard. _Well, now I know what happened to the branch._

As he turned to face me, I was met with the man's piercing golden eyes. His red hair, which was tied up in a spiky ponytail, began to blow in the breeze, and he grinned at me.


	8. Chapter 8

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

Thanks to: nikkato20 for joining in on all the fun, and all my other wonderful followers.

enjoy guys =]

* * *

><p>Chapter 8<p>

"You deaf or something?" he snapped at me.

"What?" I blinked a few times and shook my head a bit. I had been staring at him openmouthed for the past minute, during which his question had clearly gone unheard. His eyes narrowed, and his mouth turned into a nasty grin as he let out a disgusted laugh. Turning away from me, he lifted his sword and rested it over his shoulder. He looked back at me with such an annoyed expression, I was taken aback.

"I said go home, kid. The park's not safe after sundown, 'kay?"

I couldn't tell if it was the fact that he called me kid or the way he was completely writing me off, but suddenly I was on my feet feeling incredibly angry. My hands balled up into fists and I could feel the heat in them rising quickly as well as a heat in the pit of my stomach. Something inside me was snapping, my anger beginning to rush through my whole body like I had never felt before. After the past few days I had had it with people telling me what to do and how to feel. He didn't even know me, or what I had already done to the damn snake before he got there. Where was he ten minutes ago?

My face was hot and I glared at him so ferociously I was scaring myself a bit. Turning back to me, he raised his eyebrows as he took in my furious face, my size compared to his, and my disheveled appearance. Well I'd like to see him get thrown a hundred feet, hit the ground, and try not to look crazy. As he fixed his eyes on mine, I felt my anger waver for a second. They were hard and cold, completely unyielding. And yet, there was a flicker of softness deep within them. The more I focused on it, the more I felt my mind beginning to expand. Something brushed the edges of my consciousness and I reached for it, flailing around blindly in the darkness.

"What?" There was that grin again. I'd love to just reach out and smack it off his face. Usually, Jinta was the only one capable of setting me off within a matter of seconds, but this guy broke that kid's record easy. Steeling myself, I stared back at him.

"I've actually got this covered, thanks." An amused look crossed his face, and he laughed again, this time not so coldly.

"Clearly," he said, running his eyes over the dirt and grass stains covering me. I could see him linger on my scars a bit too long, so I took a step closer to him. Tilting my head back farther than I was used to, I realized just how tall this guy was; he had a good foot and a half on me.

"I don't need your help, I was doing just fine."

"Hm. I'm sure the branch that almost crushed you was thinking the same thing." It took all my strength not to punch him right in the stomach. I could tell this was not the start of a beautiful friendship.

A noise from behind him caught my attention, and suddenly his face became serious.

"Let's go," he said, more to himself than to me. Before I could react, he had reached forward and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Hey, wait!" I pushed hard against his chest, but his grip on me was so tight I could barely move. I felt my feet leave the ground and air sweeping past us so quickly it was alarming. I had felt that sensation before in Urahara's shop and on my run to school. But I wasn't the one running, he was.

We landed atop the jungle gym as a crash sounded from where we had just been standing. I felt the man's hold loosen a bit and took the moment to push him as hard from me as I could. We both staggered to opposite ends of the small bridge connecting the two towers of the playground. I looked over the side and saw the snake coiled up and staring at us right next to a huge crater I assumed it had just created with its tail. Its eyes were fixed on the man, but as I looked back at him, I saw that _his_ were still fixed on _me_. He was looking at me strangely, like he was waiting for something. It was a bit unnerving.

"Who are you?" I whispered quietly. Despite the distance we were standing apart, he heard me clear as if I had said it in his ear. For a split second, he looked disappointed. Like he was hoping I'd say something else. But then his expression became annoyed again and he stepped towards me.

"Not important. Just stay here and don't do anything stupid ok? You've caused enough trouble already."

"I've caused trouble?" I could feel my cheeks get hot as he regarded me with that amused expression again.

"Yes, you have." He placed a hand on my head and pushed me to the side, much like I had done earlier to Jinta. "So just stay." I grabbed his arm with both my hands and held tightly. He looked at me and I could tell he was getting angry. His emotions were so easy to read as they crossed his face. It reminded me a lot of Ichigo, who was never able to hide how he was feeling either.

"Not until you tell me your name." I pulled his hand off my head and held onto it. I squeezed a little harder and let my frustration flow into my hands, heating them up, to let him know I was serious. After several moments of just staring at each other, he let out a little huff and rolled his eyes.

"Renji. Now let go!" He shook me off and hopped off the jungle gym with an agility I wouldn't have expected from a guy of his size. Renji. I felt a twinge in the back of my mind. I knew that name. I had heard it before, but I couldn't remember where.

I watched with a feeling of apprehension as he raced towards the monster, unsheathing his sword as he ran. It looked different now. The blade was thin and straight, much like a regular sword. But I hadn't seen him switch weapons, and there was no second sword hanging at his waist.

The snake swiped its tail towards him, but Renji dodged it expertly. At first he moved so fast that I could barely figure out where he really was; it seemed at moments as if he were in three places at once. Suddenly I could see him land on the tail, the monster unaware and as confused as I was. Leaping forward, he raised his sword above his head and it began to glow like red hot metal.

"Roar, Zabimaru!" The sword blade suddenly exploded in a flash of light and was back to the form I had seen it in earlier, the serrated edges glinting menacingly. As Renji brought the sword down, the sections split apart and extended, held together by some kind of wiring. It sliced through the air like a whip and opened a huge, ragged gash in the snake's body that made me wince. Blood gushed out at a rate that put even the goriest horror movie to shame. My stomach lurched a bit, but I swallowed my disgust and stayed focused on the action. Everything was happening so fast, I could blink and miss it all.

A howl tore through the air as the monster writhed in pain. Renji appeared on the ground a good distance away from the snake and watched as it coiled in on itself. Then he leapt forward again, swinging his sword and opening a few more gashes on the snake's body. What was he waiting for? He should finish it off instead of jumping around so much. _At this rate he'll just piss it off…._

The snake stopped squirming and fixed Renji with a look so venomous I thought he would drop dead where he stood. For what seemed like an immeasurable amount of time, the two just stared at one another. As I watched, I could feel the pressure on my chest getting heavier, making me gasp a bit. I could feel swarms of energy racing past me and towards the monster. Its presence grew more ominous every second. It was powering up, and was going to strike with full force, I could just tell.

Closing my eyes, I reached out with my mind like I had done earlier. I could sense the energy flowing past and latched onto it, following its path all the way to a black hulking presence which I assumed was that giant snake. I felt a resistance there, like I had reached a brick wall. But something inside me made me want to break it down, to get _inside_ that monster. I reached out and put all my thoughts into breaking a hole in the wall. Far away, I could hear the creature howling with rage. _Just a bit further_, I thought, feeling the power draining out of me as I forced my consciousness forward.

Finally, I felt a miniscule crack form, and almost like a camera lens, I zoomed in on it. Wriggling my way through, I could feel myself really gasping for air as immeasurable amounts of energy swarmed around me. It was almost heart stopping the amount of blackness that was within that snake. A flash of light passed in front of my eyes and I followed it. As I focused on it, I realized I was seeing the snake's thoughts.

There were flashes of me from the moment I left Urahara's shop until I had reached the footprint in the park. Flashes of raging, red hatred cut through me like knives. Flashes of the darkest evil I had ever felt, an evil that was used for one purpose: killing. It had been following me since then, which explained all the pressure I had felt and why I sensed I was being followed.

Then there were flashes of Renji as well, followed by the same horrifying feelings. I could see the snake's huge head rearing back, and then lunging at Renji who was still standing on the ground. With a sinking feeling, I pulled myself back as hard as I could. I needed to get back to my body. It felt like I was moving through quicksand, the air around me was so thick and clingy.

The blackness swirled around me and it was getting harder to breathe. But I had to get back. It was going to attack Renji, and I had to warn him. Wrenching myself away, I finally freed myself from the hold and felt my mind racing across the grass and back up the jungle gym. Right when I opened my eyes, I could see the snake rear back.

"RENJI! RUN!" I screamed at him, throwing myself over the railing he had told me to stay behind. He turned his face towards me with a look of frustration, causing him to completely miss the lunge the snake made at him. Seeing the terror on my face, he turned back around, but it was too late.

With a crunch that made me come to a complete halt, the snake's head made contact with Renji's body. He flew backwards, skidding along the grass as he did. A fountain of red liquid followed him and I watched in horror as he came to a stop and didn't move. _Oh my god. Please get up. Please please move. _

For what seemed like an eternity, my body was frozen. I was in complete and utter shock. I had never seen someone die before, and now, right before my eyes, a man had been cut to shreds. A man who was trying to protect me. As I watched the grass around him overflow with a dark liquid, I felt my stomach lurch and my knees weaken. I felt myself hit the ground, but never once did I turn my face away. I couldn't quite wrap my head around the fact that I had just cost someone their life. I thought I was going to be sick.

A singing noise reached my ears and a burnt smell wafted its way up to my nose. Looking down, I saw my hands clenched around wads of grass and dirt. The small sparks were back and wreaking havoc, setting blades of grass on fire upon impact and then disintegrating them altogether. The rolling in my stomach turned from a stone cold fear, to a white hot rage in seconds. _Not again, _a voice inside me hissed. _Not today._ _I will not let someone die for me again._

Pushing off the ground, I slowly got to my feet. Breathing came easier suddenly, overcoming the pressure on my chest rather than succumbing to it. Each breath was heavy and the sparks were getting larger with each one. I felt my eyes widen as one of the sparks shot its way up my arm and wrapped itself along the track of my scar. The same happened on my other arm as well as both my legs. I felt my hair rise off my shoulders from the static electricity I was emitting, but instead of standing on end, it flowed behind me as if caught in some nonexistent breeze. I was surrounded by a pulsing, white light. New developments always seem to come just when you need them don't they?

The pressure was building up inside me and I felt my jaw clench in rage. I had no idea where this feeling of rage was coming from, or why it seemed so familiar. But, the longer I looked at Renji, lying on the ground before me, the hotter the lightning got and the more furious I became. I turned to the snake that was currently coiled up on itself, staring at me smugly.

"You'll burn this time," I heard myself say in a low voice that sounded nothing like me. It was laced with the venom dripping from the snake's fangs and sounded so hollow and empty that for a split second, I felt terror rip through my body. I suddenly felt disconnected, like it wasn't me in control any longer. Like all that mattered was tearing that snake apart bit by bit. But as soon as the feeling came, it was gone.

"Sssssssoundssssss exccccciting," a voice hissed. The snake's tongue shot out a few times and it smiled at me. _So you can talk too, huh?_

"But not for much longer." I shot forward, running at full speed towards the creature. It swung its tail at me but I dove forward and out of the way. Rolling cleanly out of a somersault I threw a bolt of lightning at the snake's body. It was larger than the previous ones and sparked as it flew through the air. When it hit, there was an explosion and chunks of snake meat flew everywhere. A spurt of black liquid landed on me, but I was still too angry to be grossed out. I watched as the monster writhed in pain, and I felt a small flame of hope ignite somewhere inside me. I could beat this thing. I had a chance.

Focusing my energy on my palms, I watched as two spears of lightning formed, sending sparks shooting off in all directions. Catching the snake off guard, I flung the spears at its head. One hit the snake right in the eye, which exploded on impact. Its tail began thrashing around wildly and I had to dodge it several times before I was far enough away to be safe. _Slow it down, Sayuri, you'll get nowhere if you just keep hacking away at the thing. Find a weak spot._

A weak spot. A weak spot…. My eyes took in every last inch of the snake's form as it curled in on itself and then back out in pain. _There!_

My eyes landed on the giant black hole just below the monster's head. I had no idea what it was or if it was even anything more than a design, but I had to try something. Standing up, I let all my energy flow into my left palm. Lifting my hand, I held it with my palm facing the monster and tried to aim, which was rather difficult since the damn thing wouldn't stop moving. Taking a deep breath in, I held it for a few seconds and then exhaled, letting go of the lightning as well. I watched as it raced towards the snake, smashing right into the center of the hole, sending another howl tearing through the air. _Yes!_ But, before I had time to celebrate, several things happened all at once.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Renji's body move. Looking over, I watched with an overwhelming feeling of relief as he pushed himself up on his elbows, breathing heavily. He lifted his face which was spattered with shiny red blood, and his eyes found mine. In the same moment that I looked away towards him, the snake began writhing violently. Its tail lashed out and just as it smashed into me, I saw Renji's eyes widen. There was no time for a warning.

I felt the cracked bone collide with my side and for the third time that night, my feet left the ground. I landed with a thud in the grass not far from where Renji was still lying. This time I didn't get away unscathed. Part of the crack left behind on the tail from my earlier attack jutted out into a sharp spike. During the moment of impact, an intense pain erupted in my chest, just below my collar bone as I was roughly impaled.

Still lying on the ground, I tilted my head down and saw a good deal of blood flowing out over my shirt from a spot I couldn't quite see. I tried to sit up, but an excruciating pain shot through my upper body and I fell back down.

"Damnit," I breathed shakily. A cold sweat was breaking out across my forehead. My heart was pounding in my ears and small bursts of color popped up before my eyes. I was losing a lot of blood and soon I would pass out. What would happen to me? Would I die? Was Renji strong enough to stop that monster on his own?

As if he could hear my thoughts, suddenly the man was leaning over me, speaking loudly. He placed his palms against my cheeks and gave my head a little shake. I watched as his lips formed my name, but they began to slipping in and out of focus. _How does he know my name…? _I saw him move his hand to hover above my wound.

"What are you doing?" I tried to ask, but it only came out as garbled nonsense judging by the confused and annoyed look Renji gave me. My vision was suddenly overcome by a soft golden glow coming from the palm of his hand. There was a tightness in my chest, as if my skin was getting pulled tight. I tilted my head up a bit and felt my jaw drop open.

The blood around the gash in my chest was gone, and I could clearly see the cut now. The skin there was beginning to fuse back together. I watched as both sides slowly crept toward the middle of the gash and pushed together becoming one layer of skin again. It felt prickly, like I had slept on my stomach too long and my chest was now covered in pins and needles. The glow faded and I let out a breath of air that I had apparently been holding.

Sitting up slowly, I reached up and touched the area where, moments before, my skin was torn in half. It felt completely normal, like nothing had happened. I no longer felt dizzy or cold. I heard a soft laugh from beside me and looked over to see Renji sitting on the grass, one knee pulled up to his chest and leaning back on his arms. He grinned at me again. Even with specks of blood on his face, I couldn't ignore the fact that he was quite attractive. In an irritating, obnoxious, macho guy kind of way.

"You done playin' pin cushion?" he asked. And there went that grateful feeling. Right out the window. I rolled my eyes and stood up.

"Depends," I said, brushing the grass off my t-shirt. "You done playing rag doll?" Renji stood up too and flashed me a smile. Then he got serious and gripped the hilt of his sword which was sheathed at his waist.

"Just stay here while I finish this, alright? I'm tired of saving your ass tonight." He pushed past me and I grabbed a handful of his robes.

"Hang on there, Superman." He turned his head around and shot me an angry glare. "I wouldn't have needed saving if you had just finished this thing off when you got here instead of playing snake tag. Now," I let him go and he turned to face me. "I think we both screwed up. But we'd finish this much faster if we both went at it together. One of us distracts while the other attacks." Renji looked back at the snake still flailing around. He suddenly smiled.

"Sure. Sounds fun." He held out his hand to me. A bit shocked that he accepted my plan so quickly, I smiled back and reached out to shake his hand. Grabbing my arm, Renji pulled me past him then pushed me down on the ground. "Unfortunately, I've got no time to share with you."

As he turned and started running, he looked back and shot me a triumphant grin. _You should have recognized the way that smile just screamed Jinta…stupid._ I punched the ground.

Renji took off at full speed, bobbing and weaving around the snake's tail. He leapt into the air and unsheathed his sword.

"Roar, Zabimaru!" Again, it exploded into that terrifying serrated…thing. The sections separated and lashed out towards the snake, lodging themselves in its hide. With a tug, Renji moved the blade upwards toward the snake's head, leaving an oozing black trail behind.

"Nooo-" the snake began to hiss, but it was cut short as Renji's sword split its head in half from jaw to forehead. He fell back to the ground and landed rather gracefully. Suddenly, the snake stopped moving. A sizzling sound filled the air and I watched with wide eyes as it began to disintegrate as if on fire, the particles being carried away on the wind.

For a few moments, I just stared at the place where it had been, unable to accept that it was really gone or that it had been there in the first place. Then, looking around, I realized that it had, unfortunately, all been very real. Trees were broken and scattered all over. One had even fallen on the jungle gym, causing it to collapse in towards the middle. Grass was ripped up in huge clumps and deposited elsewhere, bushes had been uprooted, and there was a pool of blood where the snake had been. _This is gonna take a lot of explaining…._

A shadow fell over me, and I looked up to see Renji kneel beside me. There was a strange look in his eyes, an expression I couldn't understand. Was it sadness? Reluctance? He looked torn, as if he was about to do something he really would rather not. I felt uneasy, and leaned away from him.

"Well," he sighed, reaching into the folds of his robes and pulling out something that resembled a cigarette lighter. Was he going to offer me a smoke or something? "It's been real, kid." I rolled my eyes.

"Don't call me that." He smiled, a genuine smile, for the first time since I met him.

"It's been real…Sayuri." My eyes widened and I sat up straight, remembering he had called my name earlier before he magically healed me. Before I could ask how the hell he knew my name, he shoved the lighter in my face and clicked it. There was a bright flash of light and a popping sound. Everything went white, and then black as I felt myself drifting out of consciousness. As I fell over, I landed on something soft, and looking up, I saw Renji wrap his arms around me and lift me off the ground before I passed out.

ooo

When I woke up, it took me a few moments to realize where I was. I was under the covers in my bed. In my pajamas. Not what I had been wearing the last time I checked…. Which meant someone had changed me while I was unconscious. My thoughts flew first to Renji, since his was the last face I had seen before he knocked me out with whatever the hell that thing was. I felt a hot blush creep up my neck and set my face on fire at the thought of Renji even touching my clothes.

Throwing back the covers, I slid out of bed and headed for the door. When I passed in front of my mirror I stopped. Turning to look at my reflection, I felt extremely confused. I had just been thrown around through trees and bushes for an hour, yet there was not a scratch on me. Walking up to the glass, I ran a hand over my face. Completely smooth. No scars or anything. Pushing aside the strap of my tank top, I touched the skin below my collar bone. Still intact like it had been before. Even my hands were completely clean, with no dirt under my nails or anything. _There was no way I dreamed all that up…just no way._

I wrenched open my door and almost ran into Emiko who was standing right outside with a glass of water, her hand stretched towards me.

"Oh my," she said, jumping back a bit.

"Sorry," I breathed, my hand tight on the door handle.

"I was just coming to check on you," she said walking past me into my room. "I thought I heard you moving around up here." She placed the glass of water on my night table and sat down on my bed. "How are you feeling?" I didn't move from my spot in the doorway.

"What happened?" My confusion and slightly questionable sanity must have shown on my face, because Emiko's expression suddenly became lovingly pitiful. She reached out her arms for me to come give her a hug. Suddenly too tired to object, I walked over and sat beside her, letting her wrap me up and hold me close.

"You don't remember?" she asked, running her hand over the top of my head and smoothing my hair down. I shook my head. "Urahara brought you home a little while ago. He said you fell asleep at work and he didn't want to wake you up. He was worried you wouldn't make it home on your own if he did." I pulled back from her.

"Urahara?" She nodded. "Are you sure it was him?"

"Who else would it be, dear?" She tucked my hair behind my ears and looked at me confusedly. I was silent for a few moments, lost in thought. _Did Renji carry me back to Urahara's? But what about my clothes? They were torn and bloody and disgusting…Emiko would have freaked out._ Looking around I spotted my work t-shirt with the Urahara Shop logo on the front folded up and placed on my dresser. It looked perfectly clean, brand new almost. _Did they change me at the shop…? _Again I blushed, as Renji's face popped into my head.

"Isamu helped carry you up here and then I put you in these," she tugged on the light flannel pants I was wearing and smiled. "Didn't think you'd want to sleep in those denim shorts." I forced myself to smile back, trying to hide the million questions brewing in my mind. "You really need to be easier on yourself," Emiko said getting up. "Next time you're tired, just ask if you can leave early. We were worried." She twisted her hands a bit, her eyebrows furrowing together, and I hung my head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry." I felt terrible. I always did when I hurt Emiko and Isamu somehow, even though they insisted it never happened. I'm sure they were freaking out when I didn't get home in time for dinner, and then who knows how much longer after that. And no phone call or anything. Some stepdaughter I was turning out to be.

Emiko took my chin in her hand and lifted my face. She was smiling and rubbed her thumb back and forth on my jawline.

"We're just glad you're ok and that Urahara was the one who brought you home." She leaned down and kissed my forehead before leaving the room and pulling the door shut behind her.

"Yeah, speak for yourself." I had no clue what was going on, but when I went to work the next day, Urahara and I were going to sit down and have a nice long chat about a few things. Like, oh…what the hell was wrong with me and what he knew about it. Because he knew something, I was sure of it. And maybe…why crazy, psycho snake monsters were allowed to just roam around the city. And also why obnoxious, red haired, ponytail men were allowed to carry swords around. Who used swords anymore anyway?

Lying back down, I ran my fingers over the skin just under my collar bone and thought about Renji. I wondered where he was and if he was ok. He had suffered some nasty cuts in that fight too, ones that had bled much more than mine did it seemed. After a while, I finally fell into a restless sleep, filled with fragmented dreams about snakes, swords, and a pair of golden eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

thanks to: Bonnie Fritz, AuroraAliceHime, theenglishgirl, Shibien11, and peace love and books for joining us on this crazy train.**  
><strong>

sorry, i know i know, the chapter's a little late. the semester just ended and with finals and summer classes starting it took a while to write this chapter out. it's a long one...so be prepared. but the fun's just getting started so hold on kiddies =]

m

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

I leaned my head back against the street wall and took another bite of my apple. Rikku was sitting next to me braiding small strands of my hair together.

"And you're definitely sure it was him right?" I asked, looking over at her. The little girl gave me an angry look and I turned my head to face forward again. This was the fourth time I had interrupted her work, and I could see she was getting closer to slapping me. I fidgeted a bit, still anxious to find out what else she knew.

When Rikku had told me she knew who Renji was, I had spent ten minutes trying to get her to tell me anything she could about him. From what she said, Renji had been in Karakura Town many times before. Rikku was pretty sure he lived somewhere in town. He would go away for short periods of time, but then come back in some weird clothing she kept calling his "suit". But, the most important thing was, she was absolutely positive that the Renji I had met was the same one she had seen in town several times before.

As she tugged on my hair a bit I sighed and tossed my apple core in a nearby garbage can. It was a little farther away than an ordinary shot would have made, but along with all my other…"changes", my depth perception and agility had increased dramatically over the last few weeks, and especially since last night. I made the shot as easily as if the can had been sitting right in front of me.

"Done!" Rikku beamed, sitting back and admiring her work. "Come look!" She grabbed my hand and yanked me to my feet.

"Ok, ok," I laughed, "Easy killer." She pulled me over to a puddle of rain water that had collected near the corner of the wall. Kneeling down, I placed both hands on either side of the water and leaned over it. The kid had done a pretty nice job. Running my hand over the braid, I admired the way she had made it run from the middle of my forehead, down the side of my face, and around the back to pick up the rest of my hair and trail down my back. "It looks amazing," I said, smiling up at her. The girl twirled around a few times in excitement and I laughed again.

As she spun, something on her chest glinted in the sunlight. It was the chain that hung there, and I found myself staring at it intently. I had always wondered about it. There was a strange feeling it gave off that I couldn't quite lay my fingers on. Sensing a slight change in the mood, Rikku stopped spinning and followed my gaze. She wrapped a small hand around the links and tugged a bit. She smiled up at me, a proud grin on her face.

"This is my soul chain. Isn't it cool?" She let it go, and the metal clinked together. "It won't come off no matter how hard you pull, but it doesn't hurt me either. It's just there," she shrugged, clearly indifferent about the matter.

"What's it for?" I asked, reaching out and letting my finger lightly brush the bottom-most link.

"It used to be connected to my body when I was alive. But now I'm not, so this is what's left." She smiled at it admiringly. Then, as if someone had flipped a switch, her face turned serious, and her eyes looked fearful. "But the monsters don't like it. They say it's noisy and always try to grab it and take it away." Her hands instinctively bundled up the dangling chain and held it to her chest.

I frowned and looked at her questioningly. "The monsters?" I asked. She nodded and her eyes traveled to the sky, scanning the clouds a bit before they flicked back to mine.

"They come from the sky. Out of these big black holes and they howl real loud and scary. They're really big and have white faces, like they're wearing party masks." My eyes narrowed a bit. Howling. Masks. Monsters. The snake?

"Do they have holes in their chests, too?" I asked, turning to kneel in front of her so our eyes were on the same level. Rikku nodded her head very quickly. "Are there lots of them here? How many?" Rikku shrugged.

"I don't know. They're never here long. Ichigo and his friend usually make them go away. They're not very nice monsters. They try to eat the shiny people." My head tilted to the side.

"The shiny people?"

"Mhm. Like Ichigo, or his friend, the lady with the black hair." My thoughts immediately flashed to Rukia. But that was crazy, there were tons of people in town who had black hair. Rikku could be talking about anyone. But what did she mean by shiny? "You're shiny now too," she added, smiling at me again.

"Me?" I asked, pointing at myself. She nodded.

"You weren't always shiny, especially when you first got here. You would walk by here all the time with Jinta and Ururu and never notice me. But then, a little while ago, every time I saw you, you got brighter and brighter and then you saw me when you fell down here." She plopped herself down on the ground and giggled a bit.

"They can see you too, can't they? Jinta and Ururu? Are they shiny people too?" Rikku nodded in affirmation. That explains why they had acted so weird that day when I had knocked over Rikku's vase. They had probably known she was there all along and were caught off guard when I suddenly could as well.

Maybe shiny people were people who could see the spirits in this town. What else did any of us have in common besides Rikku? And she was dead, so each one of us had to have this same freaky talent to be able to see her. It couldn't have anything to do with my other new powers, because I was pretty sure that Ichigo didn't go for moonlit lightning battles in the park. But, if he was also a shiny person, as Rikku called them, did that mean he had seen one of those monsters before? Maybe he knew something about them, or about Renji and where he had come from?

A beeping sounded from my school bag. Pulling open the flap, I rummaged around inside until I pulled out my cell phone. The alarm I had set was going off, letting me know I had twenty minutes before the first bell sounded at school; just enough time to walk there from Rikku's corner.

"Time for school?" she asked, still on the ground.

"Unfortunately," I said, turning to her and offering my hands. She took them, and I pulled her up into a tight hug. She turned her face up towards mine and rested her chin against my stomach.

"Will you come back soon?" she asked, her eyes so hopeful and lonely that I felt my throat tighten a bit.

"Of course I will," I told her, leaning down and kissing her forehead. Letting go, she stood with her hands behind her back and watched as I picked up my bag and swung it over my shoulder. "How about I bring another flower next time?" I asked, nodding at the vase. Instantly, Rikku's face lit up and I laughed. She was so easy to please, it was too sweet. I waved goodbye when I reached the corner, and then headed out for school.

It hadn't been my plan to stop and talk with Rikku originally. After the night I had, I just couldn't sit in my house and wait until it was time to leave. I needed to get out into the fresh air. I had left much earlier than usual, telling Emiko and Isamu I was going to run the track before classes to help wake myself up a bit. I was really going to just walk around town for a while and kill time before my alarm sounded, but soon I found myself lost in thought, not paying attention to where I was going. My feet had carried me right to the entrance of Rikku's street and I had looked up to see her lying on her stomach, nose to nose with a cat. Although I had left the house to be alone, I suddenly felt the need for company, and had spent the next forty five minutes sitting and chatting with Rikku as she braided my hair over and over until she got it right. I reached up and ran my hand over the braid again, smiling.

I suddenly thought about what it would have looked like to someone passing by who couldn't see her kneeling next to me. My hair would have been braiding itself. I laughed a bit. Every day it seemed like she became more real to me, more solid and…_there._ It was weird to think that she was dead and only a spirit that was left behind while her body was somewhere else. I could touch her and hug her and spin her around. She was _very_ real to me and the more time I spent with her, the less freaked out I was at being able to talk to dead people.

Walking through town, I realized it had gotten easier to spot others just like Rikku than before. Physically, they didn't look much different than they had a week ago, but now the feeling in the air around them had changed. I could just sense them differently now. The edges of my mind wrapped around them as I passed by and I could just feel that they were no longer anchored to this world the way living people were. Their presences felt light and airy, almost like silk fabric that flows over your hand like solid air.

I had counted forty-two by the time I reached the gates to school. That was when I realized I hadn't felt a pressure on my chest at all that morning. Every time I turned around it seemed like these strange things were becoming more normal.

"Let's just hope it stays that way," I muttered to myself, but apparently not quiet enough.

"You hope what stays what way?" Turning around slowly I saw Orihime and Uryuu standing a bit behind me. Orihime's head was tilted slightly to the side like it usually was when she was confused, but there was a friendly smile on her face. Uryuu still looked exhausted, but not as hostile as he had the day before. But still, I couldn't forget what had happened, and I suddenly felt very awkward standing there with them.

"Nothing," I said, lowering my eyes to the ground. I gripped the strap of my bag a bit tighter and was about to turn and walk away when Orihime dashed forward and grabbed my wrists. Holding them tightly, she gazed at me intently, her eyebrows furrowing together in seriousness. I looked at her in surprise.

"We're sorry about yesterday, Sayuri," she said, her voice was low and sounded honestly regretful. "It's not easy to explain, but-"

"Orihime," Uryuu stopped her from finishing and stepped forward to where we stood together. She looked at him and they were silent for a few moments, obviously having some sort of secret conversation. _Seems like everyone around here can communicate telepathically these days…._ Turning back to face me, Orihime gripped my wrists a bit tighter.

"Uryuu is sorry too, he's just too stubborn to say it." The boy scoffed and rolled his eyes, sliding his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "You just caught us all off guard and we're really sorry, so please please don't be too angry at us because we're still your friends and I hate seeing everyone all tense and quiet." The words rushed out of her mouth so quickly I almost couldn't make out what she was saying. Looking into her eyes, I could see small tears welling up in the corners.

"I'm not angry at you," I sighed, realizing this was going to be harder than I thought, especially if Orihime was going to start the waterworks. I hated seeing her so upset.

"Promise?" she whimpered, sounding like a little kid rather than a sixteen year old. I pulled myself out of her hands and held my pinky up in front of her face.

"I pinky promise." She smiled and sniffled, wrapping her pinky around mine and squeezing.

"Can we go in now? We're going to be late." Uryuu pushed his glasses up his nose again, and I shot him a look.

"You should get more sleep. You look terrible." He rolled his eyes and walked away towards the front doors. Orihime giggled a bit and wrapped her arm around mine like she usually did. It still felt a little weird walking to class with her. Although I had told her I forgave everyone, there was still unfinished business that was going to have to be dealt with sooner or later.

When we got to the classroom we learned that we were in fact, not late at all, but just on time for the warning bell. As I separated from Orihime and walked down the aisle of desks to my seat, Ichigo nodded a hello and I smiled awkwardly back. Rukia however did not even lift her eyes from the book she was reading. I felt an instant sadness wash back over me. I couldn't understand what I had done to offend her this much, but I didn't know exactly how to ask her without her getting angrier with me. Maybe Ichigo would know…. I had decided I would ask him later that day at lunch when Miss Ochi walked into the classroom.

"Good morning everyone," she chirped, more awake and ready to go than all of the students in her class combined. There were some half-hearted grunts from around the room and a few small waves as well. Seeming satisfied, she immediately opened our math textbook and began copying problems on the board.

The first few periods of the day passed by as uneventfully as they always had, until about the middle of our Lit class. I was busy writing down the common elements found in a novel of the Romantic era, when I could hear the door to our room open. Figuring it was just a student delivering some kind of message or detention slip, I kept my head down, scribbling on. I didn't look up until Miss Ochi said the last thing I ever expected to come out of her mouth.

"So, you've finally decided to join us, have you Mr. Abarai?" My pencil point broke and I felt my eyes widen to the point where they actually started hurting. I lifted my head slowly and inhaled sharply when I saw who our visitor was.

Renji stood beside Miss Ochi's desk, one hand in his pocket, the other holding out a slip from the office. He was wearing the school uniform, but clearly did not care about proper dress code. His shirt was loosely tucked into his pants and his sleeves were rolled up to the middle of his forearms, revealing a number of black tribal tattoos. The first few buttons were also undone, showing off more impressive ink work on his chest as well. His hair was still pulled back into a ponytail, but he had lost the black bandana he had worn around his forehead.

_What the hell is he doing here…?_

"Yeah, sorry. I've been away with my family and we just got back." He grinned and several girls in the room audibly swooned.

I would have rolled my eyes if I hadn't felt my breathing grow ragged and a strong pressure beginning to build on my chest. It started getting harder to hear things because my heart was pounding so loudly in my head. I felt a bit lightheaded and as Renji turned towards the class and gave a small wave to everyone, his eyes found mine. They widened in shock. He apparently had not been betting on seeing me ever again also. Guess we both had crappy luck.

I couldn't honestly say how long we both just stared at each other, but it was long enough for everyone to begin shifting awkwardly in their seats. At the edges of my vision, I could see Ichigo looking back and forth from Renji to me, but I felt frozen. I was trying hard to breathe normally again, but it was like the more I stared at Renji, the more intense the pressure got.

"Sayuri?" Miss Ochi called for the third time. "Is everything alright?"

"No. I think I need to see the nurse." As I heard my voice, it sounded very far away and quiet, and as I stood up from my seat I felt the ground tip dangerously beneath my feet. I tried very hard to steady myself, and looked at Miss Ochi, waiting for her permission to leave the room. I must have looked pretty bad because she took no time to even consider that I might be faking.

"Of course. Go right ahead." I nodded and instantly regretted it. A throbbing pain tore through my skull, and breathing was getting so hard that I felt like my lungs were just not functioning at all. As I started walking towards the door, Renji started walking down the same aisle towards the desk that was behind mine; the only empty one left in the room. He was watching me cautiously. The second we passed each other, I knew I wasn't going to make it to the door.

I had decided not to wear my uniform jacket to school again, since the temperature was not that much cooler than it had been all month. As we passed, my bare arm brushed against Renji's and a wave of electric pain shot through me like I had never felt before. I heard myself gasp loudly, and suddenly felt all control leave my body. I fell towards the ground, blackness beginning to cover my vision from the edges inward. A pair of arms stopped me from hitting the floor, but I couldn't quite make out whose they were. Several chairs scraped against the floor as, I'm sure, most of the kids in my class jumped up to see what was wrong with me.

"I'll take her to the nurse."

"Me too!"

"I'll go with you."

"Mhm." The bell suddenly rang to signal lunch, and everyone else in the class scrambled out of their desks as well. I felt myself being carried out of the classroom and down the hallway. Instantly, my vision cleared up when we left the more confined space of room 2-3. I could tell we were not headed towards the nurse's office, but rather towards the roof. I was carried up the staircase and the moment we were outside, I could feel myself really calming down. I looked up to see that it was Uryuu who had caught me. _He's a lot stronger than I thought he was._

"I'm fine, you can put me down now," I said, squirming a bit and trying to swing my legs down without kicking my skirt up. Uryuu gently lowered me until my feet touched the cement, but he kept his hand on my shoulder making sure I could stand on my own. The dizziness was gone, as well as everything else I had just been feeling. _Weird._

Looking around I saw that Orihime and Chad had come up to the roof with us and were both staring at me, their faces serious with concern. I patted myself down a bit, and then flashed them a thumbs up. Orihime looked relieved and I'm sure Chad would have too, if his face muscles actually functioned properly.

Angry voices echoed up the stairway as Ichigo and Rukia emerged, both with angry looks on their faces.

"-really not that difficult to control it. I don't know why it's so hard for you," Rukia said crossing her arms and spinning around to face Renji who had just emerged as well. He slammed the door shut angrily, and turned to face us all.

"It's not my fault this gigai is a piece of crap. I can barely even move in this thing. You're lucky I was even able to walk here today." Rukia glared at him.

"You think I don't feel the same way? The point is, you need to just suck it up and deal with it. Stop whining like a child, it's pathetic."

"What did you just say?" Renji snarled, stepping forward so that the toes of his shoes touched Rukia's. She looked up at him and for a moment I actually felt like laughing, the whole scene was just too funny. Even though I had no clue what they were talking about.

"She's right Renji," Uryuu said from behind me. I turned to look at him in surprise. _So Uryuu knows him too…small world._ "I'm surprised more kids in that room didn't pass out. You were leaking enough spirit energy to bring down the whole building." Spirit energy? There was that phrase again, the one I had heard everyone whispering for weeks now when they thought I couldn't hear them. Was that what had made me so dizzy?

"I reigned it in," Renji said, sneering.

"Yeah, after you almost killed Sayuri," Ichigo said as he leaned back against the wall to the stairwell. My face felt hot.

"I was just a little dizzy that's all," I said, not looking at anyone.

"Oh please, we both know you can handle higher spirit pressure than what I was giving off just now," Renji said, stepping towards me. My head snapped up and I stared at him. _So I didn't dream everything that happened with that snake after all…_

"What are you talking about?" Rukia asked, looking confused as well as angry now. Renji grinned, his eyes still locked on mine.

"I'm actually surprised that little bit that leaked through affected you at all after last night."

"Last night?" Ichigo looked confused and kept shifting his eyes from me to Renji, like he had done in the classroom earlier.

"You've met?" Rukia asked, looking at me. It was the first time she had addressed me since the day before and I wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"Unfortunately," I answered.

"Yeah, she got herself cornered by a Hollow last night in the park." Everyone immediately reacted, so I could safely assume that Rikku's information had been true. That snake monster was obviously not the first of its kind to show up in Karakura Town. But Renji had called it a Hollow…and everyone seemed to know what it was, not just Ichigo and Rukia. "She's lucky I showed up," Renji continued, crossing his arms and looking smug. I felt the incessant urge to smack him in the face rise inside me again.

"_I _was lucky…?" I asked in disbelief, my voice sounding a bit shrill. There was no way I was going to let this obnoxious jerk take all the credit for beating that thing. "I was doing fine on my own until you showed up and pissed it off." The grin on Renji's face broke.

"You were planning on running away," he shot back at me, "And you couldn't even get that far without getting knocked down."

"Oh and I was the only who got knocked around, huh? In case you forgot, you were blacked out for a good couple minutes, face down in the dirt."

"Even when I was, your little lightning bolts couldn't even break all the way through its damn body." At this point, I realized we were standing as close as he and Rukia had been before, glaring at each other.

"Ok. I'm lost," Ichigo said. Pulling my eyes away from Renji's, I looked over to see everyone staring at us, looks of bewilderment and confusion over all of their faces. Renji was still standing over me, trying to make me feel like I was below him on some kind of level only he understood. I rolled my eyes at him, and pushed him in the stomach with both hands. He stumbled away from me a bit and it was my turn to grin. Turning to the others, I was a little nervous about telling such a strange story. I had seen what reactions would come already. But, Renji was there to back me up, even if he got most of the details wrong. Maybe they would believe me this time.

"I was walking through the park last night on my way home from work, and this big snake monster…a Hollow I guess, followed me."

"What do you mean it followed you? You saw it?" Rukia asked. I sighed; this was going to be complicated…

"No, not exactly. I couldn't see it at all at first. I could just feel it. Like something was watching me. And then I got to the footprint in the park and wasn't paying attention and it threw me back into the trees." Orihime winced a bit, as if she could feel the pain of hitting the ground like I had done. "When I got back up, it was kind of like I put glasses on or something. Everything got clearer and I could see it then."

"Glasses? Really?" Rukia and I both shot Renji glares, and he immediately stopped laughing.

"You said you were doing fine on your own," Uryuu chimed in. "What exactly were you doing?" They all looked at me expectantly. I could feel the anxiety of being the center of attention start to take hold of my nerves. My face started to flush and I stared down at my hands.

"She shoots lightning out of her hands," Renji informed everyone. It sounded so ridiculous I actually expected a few of them to laugh. But everyone was silent, still staring at me and waiting. _No point in hiding it anymore I guess_, I thought nervously.

I backed away from all of them a bit, not sure exactly what would happen after my exertions last night. I took a deep breath and let my hands fall to my sides. Closing my eyes, I had a fleeting thought that it wasn't going to work and I would look like an idiot. _Stop it, Sayuri. You can't think like that, or it definitely won't work._ Clearing my mind, I let myself forget that I was standing in front of my friends and thought back to the night before when I was in the park. I pictured the snake coiled up in front of me, its yellow eyes filled with hatred and bloodlust. I could see Renji off to the side, lying on his stomach in a pool of blood. The memory was becoming so real I could almost smell the salty, copper-like aroma of it. It triggered the feelings of anger inside me, of being the cause of someone's pain.

I felt a heat begin to grow in the center of my body. The more I focused on it, the farther it reached. I felt a warm sensation cover my arms, and soon it shot downward and came to rest in the palms of my hands. I heard gasps from my audience, and pulled myself slowly out of my meditative state, hoping I wouldn't lose the heat. But it stayed constant and never wavered once. Opening my eyes, I could see my friends all staring at me, their eyes wide and mouths open. Except for Renji. He stood behind everyone and was smiling at me, the same way he had before he knocked me out. _Freak._

Raising my hands in front of me, I turned them over a few times. The little bolts wrapped themselves warmly around my fingers, as if hugging me, like we hadn't seen each other in a while. I smiled in relief that they seemed pretty stable. _Now for the icing on the cake, _I thought rather excitedly. I stretched my left arm out to the side, and aimed my fingertips at the farthest corner of the roof. There stood an old air conditioning unit that was no longer used in the building. Taking a deep breath, I exhaled slowly. At the same time I released some of the heat and watched in amazement as a bolt of lightning shot from my fingers and collided with the unit. There was a loud crash as it exploded into pieces, and I felt myself smile.

Looking back at the others, I saw many different reactions. Orihime looked ecstatic, and Uryuu looked slightly aggravated, probably because I had just destroyed school property. Renji was shaking his head and laughing a bit. Ichigo looked slightly shocked and Rukia…looked sad. Serious, but sad.

"We should go see Kisuke," Ichigo said quietly.

"Urahara?" I asked, and he nodded. Ichigo knew him too? Apparently everyone just knew everyone in my life at the moment, because they all seemed to nod in agreement as well. "What can he do?" I asked. I remembered the way he had looked at me the night before, as if he had known all along what was going on with me. _Had _he really known?

"I don't know," Ichigo admitted, "But he might know at least something about this."

"I have a feeling he's known all along," Rukia said, crossing her arms and looking pissed.

"That makes two of us," I said, feeling the heat surge in my palms again.

ooo

After it was decided on the roof that Urahara needed to be interrogated, we had all left school early, much to Uryuu's dismay.

"Miss Ochi won't even realize we're gone," Rukia assured him. "She never does." Once we reached the store, everyone walked right past Tessai who greeted us at the door and straight into the back room Urahara usually hung out in. I stayed towards the back of the group, waving to Tessai as I followed the others. He raised his eyebrows at me questioningly and I had just shrugged back.

Ichigo charged on ahead and slid open the door to reveal my boss lying passed out on the floor. There were two large pillows underneath him which were usually used for sitting on, but if Urahara was tired enough, there was nothing stopping him from having a good nap. His green and white striped hat was covering his face and fluttered a bit with every exhale he let out. As we all stepped into the small room, I began to feel a bit choked by the tension that hung in the air.

"I suppose you children are here for some answers," Urahara said, his voice muffled by his hat. _Of course you're not sleeping._ He sounded bored and lazy like always, but I couldn't just shrug it off this time. I stomped over to him and smacked his hat away, not caring if I hit his face in the process. He opened his eyes lazily and grinned at me.

"You're damn right we are," I said, my voice seething with frustration and impatience.

"There's no need to be hostile," he drawled, and I seriously considered singeing his hair a bit. "Everything will be revealed in its own time."

"Its time is now, Kisuke," I said, my voice wavering dangerously. I could feel the heat in my palms growing. He knew something…he had always known something about whatever the hell was going on. I was still standing over him and watched as his eyes flicked over to my hand which was balled in a fist. He sighed and sat up.

"Well then, I'd appreciate if you'd calm down and try not to electrify my home, Miss Kobayashi. You should realize by now that that special ability of yours seems to be easily fueled by your emotions. You'll have to learn some control if you ever want to master it." He ran a hand over his face.

"I _am_ in control, don't you worry about that," I snapped.

"And there's another problem," Urahara laughed and looked up at me through his shaggy hair. "You think you can do everything by yourself. You don't need to lean on anyone for help. You didn't even tell your friends about the changes you've been experiencing lately…." I looked away, not sure of how to respond.

As I had suspected, Urahara was very good at reading people. He had had me figured out from day one it seemed. I stared down at the floor, feeling everyone's eyes on me. He was right though. I hadn't told anyone, but who would have believed me? Their reactions the previous day were perfect examples of what would have happened sooner if I had told them when everything had started. But that still wasn't a good excuse for why I didn't trust them or go to them for help.

I felt a hand land on my shoulder. Looking up I saw Ichigo standing beside me. He was looking at me very intently and I felt something brush against the edges of my mind. But it wasn't just a feathery touch…it felt like a hand or something probing its way along. It also felt familiar and I had a strange feeling, although I had no way to explain it, that somehow it was Ichigo.

"Sayuri didn't do anything wrong. Her intention wasn't to ignore us so you can stop picking on." He looked at Urahara who raised an eyebrow. Ichigo squeezed my shoulder a bit and then sat down at the table. "Why don't you stop trying to make her feel bad and just tell us what's going on." I watched as the others nodded and sat down as well. None of them said a word about me keeping them in the dark, and I felt an overwhelming sense of acceptance again, just like I had on my first day at school.

Hesitantly, I took a seat next to Rukia, who flashed me a smile that was apologetic. Her eyes held mine a few seconds longer, hinting that there was quite a bit that needed to be said between us. I looked back at Urahara and fixed him with an intent stare.

"Spill it." He chuckled.

"Have you mastered flash step yet?" he asked me. What was that? Obviously my confusion showed because he followed up by saying, "Can you run super fast?" I grimaced a bit at the childish vocabulary and then nodded. Flash step, or whatever it was called, came easily to me now whenever I wanted to use it.

"I can do it whenever I want now," I said.

"And obviously you can see spirits and spirit beings. At least, that's what Jinta and Ururu tell me." There was a small scuffle from the hallway, and a flash of pink skirt. I smiled and shook my head. _Filthy little eavesdroppers…_ "Your ability to sense the spirit energy of those around you seems pretty advanced based on that exchange between you and Ichigo a few moments ago," he nodded towards where we had just been standing. _He noticed that…? But how did he know what happened if it was inside our minds…?_ "Something you'll learn about spirit energy, Miss Kobayashi, is that if your skilled enough, you can eventually tap into it without others noticing." He placed his hat back on his head and pulled it down to partially cover his eyes.

I could feel my face grow serious. He was starting to mention things that I was still in the dark about. But I did know that if there were ways people could read my mind, I wasn't sure I was ready for this club just yet.

"What about the…lightning? Is that normal?" I bit my lip as I waited for the answer, dreading whatever it might be. Whether you were some kind of superhuman like he was speaking of or not, I'm sure being able to shoot lightning out of your hands was still a weird trait.

"At first I thought your lightning was just some different form of Kido. That's a type of attack most Soul Reapers can use," Urahara said. "Someone like Renji," he gestured to the doorway where Renji was still standing, leaning against the frame. "Ichigo and Rukia are also Soul Reapers-"

"But is it normal," I interrupted, feeling my nerves growing by the second. Urahara looked at me, fixing his eyes on mine.

"No. I'm afraid that the lightning you release is, in fact, real lightning rather than spirit energy. You are also not a Soul Reaper, although you certainly feel like one." Some of the others nodded at this statement.

"If I'm not a Soul Reaper, than what exactly am I?"

"That, my dear, is the million dollar question. But you're in luck because I happen to have the answer." I sat up a little straighter. "It took a little while for me to be sure. I had to research material that hasn't been touched in hundreds of years. But I can say for sure that you, Miss Kobayashi, belong to a breed of Spirit Beings that date back to about the beginning of the Soul Reapers." Urahara stood up and walked over to a lamp that stood in the corner of the room. He unscrewed the glass cover, exposing the light bulb. Long, black, shapes were suddenly cast upon the walls, making us all look disfigured and deformed.

"They're called Shadows."


	10. Chapter 10

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

warm bleachy welcomes to: blueanimefreak, E. E. Terrill, Lyisle Lualdi, sadfacehappyface, ookamikage14, and Rennay. thanks for joining the party 3

I AM SOOOOOO SORRY GUYS! total screw up...i wrote on my calendar that this chapter was supposed to go up today when it was actually supposed to be up last monday X| super huge apologies. and to show you how sorry i am, for all of you who i know just stayed up til the wee hours of the morning waiting for me to post (that was sarcastic by the way), i'll post the next chapter sooner than usual. probably in the next week or so. again, sorry for my brain fart =[ but enjoy anyway 3

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

No one was speaking. The only audible noise was the ticking of the clock sitting on the side cabinet. _Shadows. _That word swirled like smoke in my mind._ I've heard it before…._ As soon as the word had passed Urahara's lips I had felt an odd sensation. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and my heart rate increased. I felt my breath catch and was suddenly very, very afraid. I couldn't figure out why that word frightened me so much, but it sounded so familiar. Not in the usual sense of what a shadow really was, but a familiar way that I could not call to mind.

"I've never heard of a…_Shadow_…before," Rukia said, and I almost winced at the harsh way she said it.

"Of course not, Miss Kuchiki. That's because all of us in the Soul Society believed them to be an extinct breed. Yet here they are," he gestured toward me with an open hand as if presenting me to an audience, "alive and reproducing, clearly." Everyone looked at me expectantly for a few seconds as if I would someone know what was going on before….

"Are there any other Shadows around?"

"What can they do?"

"Why did you think they were extinct?"

"Where did they come from?" The questions exploded from everyone like a bomb had just gone off. I didn't know what exactly to do. Everyone kept looking at me with guarded eyes and speaking with cautious tones. They were talking about Soul Reapers and spirit energy and Kidou, and I felt like my head was beginning to spin in circles. All of a sudden Ichigo and Rukia were supposed to have abilities like Renji's, and Orihime, Chad, and Uryuu all knew Urahara. Monsters with bone masks and holes were showing up and wrecking the town and I was seeing spirits around every corner. I had no clue what was happening and to top it all off, Urahara believed I wasn't even human.

Suddenly, I felt very alone in that room. Urahara had clearly identified me as an entity that had never before been known to anyone and they were all acting like I was some kind of wild animal. Rukia and Uryuu probably hadn't noticed, but they had both moved their bodies slightly so they were facing me at an angle, as if hoping to keep me in sight in case I did anything suspicious. Out of my loneliness, I suddenly felt anger flare.

As the questions kept coming, I realized I was obviously the only person in the room who had no clue what was going on. I had been kept in the dark all this time by people who had noticed something was strange about me. I was supposed to trust these people who called themselves my friends and yet they had acted like they never realized I was self-destructing. My hands balled into fists, and I strained to keep the heat inside me under control. I felt like screaming as loud as I could. I was done being ignored and treated like a small child that didn't matter.

I lifted my eyes from the table where they had been glued since the bombarding of questions had begun. They met Urahara's who had just put the lamp back together and sat down opposite me. He wasn't responding to anyone. He wasn't smiling or frowning. He was just…staring at me, expectantly almost. Like he was waiting for me to do something.

"You're a bastard." I said quietly, my voice venomous and filled with anger. Everyone looked at me and the room was suddenly silent. Orihime's hand was covering her mouth in shock, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything. In fact, I could have leapt over the table and strangled Urahara right then and I would not have cared at all. "You knew this entire time and you never said one damn thing to me. Never mentioned that you knew something, or that I was different."

"I tried. You were the one who told me to stay out of your business and that you could handle things on your own. In fact, I remember you telling me just last night that there was nothing _to_ handle." He still stared at me, his eyes searching mine. I dropped my gaze. I _had _said that. _But as an adult, he should have realized I was acting out of fear and anger and not thinking straight. And also-_

"Wait," Renji's voice still came from behind me. He still hadn't joined us at the table, but was now sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. "You haven't told her _anything_? Not even about Soul Reapers?" He laughed a bit. "No wonder she had no clue who I was. Isn't part of our job here to deal with any spirit beings we find? And wouldn't that mean at least telling her where she came from? The poor kid's been in the dark all this time." There was that word again.

"I'm not a child!" I screamed, twisting around to face Renji who looked a little shocked at my outburst. "I am so sick and tired of everyone here treating me like an idiot." Hot tears pricked my eyes out of extreme frustration. I wanted to flip the table to blast a hole through the wall. I was seething. Never before had I felt so looked down upon or let down. A light hand landed on my shoulder.

Spinning back around I saw Rukia, her hand still slightly extended toward me, staring at me. Her eyes were heavy and her mouth turned down in a frown. There was no trace of the coldness I had seen the day before anywhere on her face.

"We're sorry, Sayuri," she said quietly. "Renji's right. We should have all brought you here sooner but…it's complicated." Her eyes dropped and I was speechless. Still looking down, she finished quietly, "I'm sorry."

"We shouldn't have been so quiet about it," Ichigo added from across the table. His eyebrows were pulled together in the middle like they always did when he was really serious. The others nodded. Looking back at Rukia, I suddenly felt like a deflated balloon. Everything just felt so hard to handle. My anger and frustration, my friends, my whole new life, even who I was. I curled my knees to my chest and rested my forehead on them. Taking a deep breath I tried to keep my voice steady so as to not give away my sudden emotional exhaustion.

"I have no idea what's happening anymore," I said, not to any in particular.

"Neither do we for the most part," Urahara said, his voice softer now than it had been. "We'll have to all go through this together. Carefully."

"Then maybe it's time we fill her in," a voice said from near the doorway. Turning to look, I was surprised when I saw no one there. Only Yuroichi slinked into the room. Confused, I looked around. Everyone was staring at the cat. I looked at her too and saw her big golden eyes watching me. She jumped onto the table and sat facing me, her tail switching back and forth. "There's time for real apologies later. Yes, we're sorry, but your lack of knowledge was a safety measure."

If my eyes could have widened anymore, they probably would have popped out of my head. Stumbling backwards, I just stared at her. I had seen her mouth move and had heard the voice, but it took a few seconds for my brain to register that it was Yuroichi who was speaking. What was even stranger was that the voice was obviously male. But, Yuroichi was a female cat…wasn't she?

"The cat talked," I said stupidly. Urahara laughed quietly.

"You should see what else she can do." No one else seemed as perturbed by the talking cat as I was. She watched me patiently.

"I know this is all a big shock for you, Sayuri, but you're going to have to just go with it for now, ok?" I nodded, then shook my head a bit, wondering why I was answering a talking cat. Putting a hand on my forehead I hoped I had a fever and that I was hallucinating. I could see Ururu peek around the doorway and was suddenly reminded of Rikku and the way she peeked around the wall the first time she saw me. _There are weirder things going on here than talking cats, Sayuri,_ I told myself. _You can see dead people, and even touch them, so why is this so strange?_

Turning back to Yuroichi, I took a deep breath and nodded slowly. Realizing I was going to need severe therapy after this was over, I crawled back to the table. She was right: there was obviously a lot I needed to learn. I was a bit uncomfortable with the fact that there were things about my life I had never known before. But how did Urahara seem to know so much more about me than I did?

"Was my mom a Shadow?" I asked Urahara suddenly, just thinking of the idea. He shook his head.

"No. Sakura wasn't a Shadow." He stole a glance at Yuroichi who nodded. "But she _was _a Soul Reaper." I heard a few surprised breaths around me, but I kept my eyes on Urahara.

"A Soul Reaper?" My mind scrambled a bit, but I remembered that that was what Renji had called himself. Urahara nodded.

"They're spirit beings also, whose job it is to keep the balance and order between souls in the world of the living and the Soul Society. They have other duties as well, but that's all you really need to know for now. At first we thought you were going to become one also. Flash Step, that super speed running you can now do, is an ability only Soul Reapers have. Also, your increased ability to sense spiritual pressures and see spirits would back up this theory even more."

"What about my lightning?" I asked, remembering the comment he had made earlier. "It's not…Kidō, or whatever that is?"

"No way," Renji said, finally dragging himself to the table. He squished himself between Uryuu and I, jabbing me with his elbow a bit. Rukia and I gave him annoyed looks as we moved over so we could all fit. "That trick you have is definitely not a Soul Reaper thing. The pressure's all wrong for it to be Kidō." Yuroichi hummed in agreement.

"The lightning that you're able to use, Sayuri, is actually _real_ lightning. It's not made of spirit particles, or reishi, like a Soul Reaper's Kidō is. It's the raw element. That's how we were able to affirm that you were a Shadow." She licked a paw and let Urahara continue.

"Soul Reapers belong to the 13 court guard squads that protect the Soul Society. Squad 12 is in charge of research and technology, and they were the ones who first discovered Shadows all those years ago. According to the research, Shadows were able to harness the natural elements and form them into weapons. It's like their version of a zanpakutō."

"What's that?" I asked, confused.

"Our swords," Ichigo said. "Each Soul Reaper has one. It's how we fight off Hollows and other things."

"Shadows don't only have swords, though," Yuroichi said. "They use a variety of weapons, often reflecting their inner spirit, just like a zanpakutō does. However, the form of a Shadow's weapon depends on their style of combat as well. Yours doesn't seem to have developed into anything yet," she looked at me.

"But it probably will if I fight more, right?" She nodded.

"Correct."

"But what about last night?" I sat up onto my heels. Flashes of the Hollow, coiled up and ready to attack, ripped through my mind. In those moments I had been able to really focus on my lightning and harness it without solely relying on my emotions. That _had _to be some kind of improvement. I suddenly realized the thought of being able to shoot lightning from my palms no longer felt strange to me. Neither did all this talk of another world full of spirits. It felt familiar, like somewhere inside me I had known about these things my whole life and had just never thought on them. "I fought that Hollow last night with my lightning."

"That's not enough to solidify your powers," Yuroichi said. She stole a glance at Urahara and then looked back at me. "You would need to really exert yourself and use them extensively to gain proper control. We think it would be best if you started training with us, so we can see what exactly you're capable of."

"Train?" I laughed a bit. I could just see myself now running around the park shooting lightning bolts while a fascinated crowd looked on. Everyone's eyes would be watching me. I swallowed hard. _As if I'm enough of an oddball already, let's just sign me up for that circus act._ "Is that really a good idea?" I asked sheepishly, and Renji gave me a weird look. I could almost hear him calling me a baby.

"You would train here," Urahara pulled his hat down and sat back against the wall. I looked around the small room. Was he going to pull a training space out of his ass? Because there was definitely no room in the small shop. Out front in the yard would be just as public as anywhere else. But before I could ask, Uryuu, who had been quiet the whole time, finally spoke up.

"I think we've missed some of the most important questions." We all looked at him as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "One, if Sayuri's mother wasn't a Shadow, then she probably got her abilities from her father. Where exactly is he and is he someone we should worry about. And two, are there any other Shadows left?" Everyone suddenly looked anxious and turned towards Urahara. He didn't move and the seconds ticked by.

Yuroichi padded across the table and jumped down onto the floor. She walked up next to Urahara and stood up onto her hind legs. With her front paw, she swatted his hat away and hissed a bit. He scrunched up his face and huffed, looking like an angry child. Sitting up straight he ruffled the hair on the top of his head.

"Yes, Sayuri's father is, in fact, a Shadow." There was an audible intake of breaths around the table. Everyone looked troubled, but I couldn't understand why. Obviously if my mom wasn't a Shadow, then my dad had to be.

Suddenly I felt a chill, like someone had poured a bucket of ice down my back.

"You said 'is'," I looked at Urahara intently. "He 'is' a Shadow. That means-"

"He's still alive. Yes." Out of all the things I had learned so far that day, this was by far the most shocking.

I had never heard my mother mention my father. We never spoke about him, and I had never felt deprived not knowing him. My mom and I got on well enough and we didn't need anyone but each other. But she had told me he died when I was just a baby…and now Urahara was telling me this was a lie, that he was actually still alive. I had gone all this time knowing that I had no father. It couldn't be true.

"No. He's not," I said quietly.

"Yes, Sayuri, he is," Yuroichi purred.

"No. My mom told me he died when I was a baby. He's not alive. He's dead. He is." Yuroichi kept an intent look on her small furry face. I shook my head, slowly at first, and then faster as my breathing sped up. "My mom wasn't a liar!" I shouted at them. Where was their proof? How did they know he wasn't dead? This was too much. It couldn't be true. I shut my eyes tight and wished all of this would just go away. The Soul Reapers and Hollows, the lightning, and the eyes.

Suddenly they erupted in a burst of flame right before my eyes. Against the black of my eyelids, their crimson color was only made deeper, like fresh blood. They bore into me, paralyzing me with fear, digging deeper and deeper into my being. I felt my body heating up as if just by looking at them I was being set on fire. But I couldn't look away. I couldn't escape them no matter how hard I tried. I could hear the others' voices and I tried to call out, but my voice dried up in my throat.

A hand grabbed my chin and shook my head a bit. In less than a second, my eyes shot open and the crimson ones disappeared. They were replaced by a pair of bright golden ones. The room was quiet and Renji was kneeling over me, his grip firm on my face. He looked at me sternly, like someone reprimanding a child.

"This isn't really the best time for you to have a meltdown and electrify us." My palms felt extremely warm, and I was sure if I could look down I would see the familiar little bolts of lightning wrapped around my fingers. I tried to pull my head back, but Renji tightened his grip and held me still. "Whether or not your mom lied to you isn't important right now. Whatever issues you have, you need to put 'em on hold until we can get in control of what's happening here, got it?" He gave my head another shake and I reached up and grabbed his arm. Glaring at him, I let a little lightning shoot through my palm. It was nothing more than if you had accidentally left your finger on the metal of a plug you were putting into a socket, but he still jumped a bit. Yanking back his arm, Renji glared back at me.

"He's right. All of this has caught us a bit off guard." There was a darkness in Urahara's voice that made me look at him instead of shooting more lightning at Renji. He was playing with the hem of his kimono that was tied around him loosely like always. "We don't know who or where your father is, Sayuri. But, we do know that there are Shadows nearby. We've been able to sporadically detect their spiritual pressures and Renji has been trying to track them for a while. But, every time he gets close, they hide."

"How can they hide?" Ichigo scoffed. "Just pick up their spirit pressure again, it can't be that hard." Renji sneered back at him.

"Why exactly do you think they're called Shadows, you idiot?"

"What did you call me?" Ichigo leaned forward, his hands slamming down on the table. Renji did the same and you could almost feel the level of testosterone in the room increase. The boys puffed out their chests and squared off and I rolled my eyes. Hadn't he just criticized me for acting like a child? _I guess having a man-off_ _no longer qualifies as childish behavior…. Maybe there's a book on these rules I need to read…._

Rukia took the pillow she was sitting on and threw it across the table. It hit both boys in their faces and they turned their tough faces on her. Unimpressed, she just stared them down. Quietly, they both sat back down, but not before they shot a few more glares at each other. _I must learn her secret, _I thought.

"The Shadows are capable of hiding their spiritual pressures from detection," Yuroichi said, jumping back onto the table. We all stared at her.

"They can…hide it?" Uryuu asked, dumbfounded. Even though I wasn't as up to date as everyone else was on this subject, I also found the idea pretty strange. If I had listened correctly, spirit pressure seemed to be something you radiated that came from within you. It was based on how strong your spirit was, but I was unaware that it had an OFF button. Apparently everyone else was too, because their faces all mirrored Uryuu's.

"That's why they're called Shadows, my dear children," Urahara said, resting back against the wall and placing his hat back over his face. His next words left me with chills down my spine. "At any moment, they can disappear before your very eyes and become just another face in the crowd. You'll never be able to tell who or where they are. Until they want you to."

ooo

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Somewhere during the rest of the conversation it was decided that after school, when I would normally come to Urahara's for work, my time would be split. Some days I would continue helping in the store like usual, and others I would train with either Urahara or Yuroichi. How I was supposed to be trained by a talking cat I was not yet aware of, but the details of everything were not to be decided at the moment. I was also forbidden to tell Emiko and Isamu anything that had occurred in the past few days on pain of death, or so said Urahara rather creepily so I was sure he was joking about the death part. I hoped. I understood why, though; they were innocent civilians and shouldn't be dragged into anything that might become dangerous. I certainly had no problem keeping them as far from harm as possible.

As I walked out of the shop, I couldn't help but feel like things had changed. Everyone was treating me like a ticking time bomb, as if at any moment I would call on some legion of Shadow monsters to come swallow the town. I wasn't evil. I would never do anything to harm anyone, but I _could_ understand how losing control of my powers might be dangerous. I would need to be extra careful around anyone until I got a good grasp on controlling them.

Lost in thought, I almost didn't hear Rukia call my name until she ran to meet me in the yard. At first, we both just stood there quietly, facing each other. Then, we both started talking at the same time.

"Look, Rukia-"

"Sayuri, I-"

Stopping, we both stared at one another and then suddenly, Rukia started to laugh. I smiled to, and soon found myself giggling as well. We had both been so stupid in the last day or so, and it became more and more obvious every second that passed.

"I'm sorry Rukia," I said, looking down at my feet. "I should have told you when things started happening but I thought you would think I was crazy. I had no idea about any of this stuff."

"I know," she said, looking at me and smiling softly. Her eyes were full of apology. "We should have told you earlier. We knew things were starting to change with you but we didn't know exactly who you were or if you were safe to trust. And then you just freaked out and when you started saying everything out loud I just-"

"Rukia!" I grabbed her shoulders. She looked surprised, but I smiled.

"I'm just really sorry," she said, her shoulders sagging under my hands. I shook my head.

"Nothing to be sorry for," I told her. "I knew you'd have to have a good reason to react the way you did. And I don't blame you. If some new person moved in and started ranting about howling monsters I'd probably tell her she was crazy too." Rukia winced.

"Did I really say that?"

"Not exactly, but I'm sure you wanted to." She smiled and I felt a warmth spread through me. Ever since my freak-out on the school roof I had been going out of my mind thinking that Rukia was convinced I was crazy. But the way things were going, if all this Soul Reaper stuff was really true and I wasn't dreaming, she had to be just as crazy as I was. She had never really been against me, and that thought made me smile. Maybe my friends really were keepers.

"I really hate to break up this touching moment, but we've got a Hollow alert," Renji said, walking over to us with his hands in his pockets.

"We've got it," Uryuu said from the sidewalk just beyond the wall that surrounded the shop. He, Orihime, and Chad waved as they took off down the street.

"They're not Soul Reapers, right?" I asked.

"No. But what they _are_ is complicated and would probably just make you more confused at this point," Rukia said, scratching her head and grinning. I grinned back until Renji decided to pitch in too. He placed a hand on my head and leaned down so his face was even with mine.

"You're little brain's probably fried already, isn't it?" He spoke in a baby voice so irritating I couldn't resist the urge to hit him. I socked him right in the stomach and he stumbled backwards. Rukia crossed her arms and gave an approving nod.

"Don't you have to run along home too?" I asked, irritated. Renji grinned and straightened up. Placing his thumbs in his pockets, he looked absolutely ecstatic.

"Yeah well, it's only a few steps to the front door from here," he said, gesturing back at the door to the shop. The triumphant look slid off my face and I stared at him in disbelief.

"No way," I breathed.

"Yes way." Renji turned and started walking back towards the shop. At the door, he looked back over his shoulder and said, "Your training should be pretty fun to watch. See you in class." I felt something squirm in my stomach. As if having to struggle to master my powers in front of Urahara and Yuroichi wasn't bad enough, now I was going to have Renji for an audience as well.

As I quickly waved goodbye to Rukia and started walking home, I found myself trying to decide if that thought bothered me or not. Although I had just met him, I already knew he was extremely irritating and obnoxious. However, there was a part of me, a small, tiny, microscopic, miniscule part, that didn't mind so much if Renji hung around. I could tell was going to be an interesting week.


	11. Chapter 11

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

welcome KawaiPanda, morganclaire1, tenshous, 4, Maxim0, BlueAurora, Tedd, and MistGirl423 to our lovely little family here =]

i just want to thank all of my awesome followers so far as we get to our second 2 digit chapter...oi i feel like the story's just starting...anyway, i really appreciate everyone's support and please please keep the reviews coming so i know how the story's doing and how you all like little sayuri. i'm almost at 40 readers on this story which is insane and super exciting so thank you everyone so so much 3

and now...enjoy

m

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><p>Chapter 11<p>

Panting, I slapped my hand against the rock that marked the starting point of the obstacle course for the fifth time.

"Again. This time, don't let anything touch you." Yuroichi yawned and laid back on the rock. One of her legs was crossed over the other and her feet jiggled slightly as she stared at me.

"What do you mean?" I said, exhausted and frustrated. "That time was perfect! Nothing hit me." I looked out over the course again; it was nestled between two cliffs in a sort of small canyon. As I raised my eyes to the top of one of the cliffs, I saw Jinta lying on his stomach, dropping small pebbles off the side. Beside him was a pile of much larger stones that he would throw at me while I ran the course. My job was to dodge them as well as the blasts of Kidō Renji shot my way from the other side of the canyon wall. As I looked at them Jinta smile evilly and waved to me.

I held out my arms and flipped them over, then looked down the front of my body. Nothing. Looking over my shoulder I felt my heart sink. There was a small welt beginning to rise on my right calf in the shape of a circle. Exactly the kind of bruise a medium sized stone would leave if it was wailed at you by a demonic red-headed child. Closing my eyes and letting out a sigh, I sank to the ground, completely out of energy to even walk one step.

Ever since that long conversation in Urahara's shop between all of my friends and I, my life had changed drastically from just confusing to a hot mess of craziness. The day after Urahara explained what he could to us all, I began training in the underground facility he kept hidden below the shop.

The first time I was brought down there I honestly was too shocked for words. The space was huge; it was at least the same size as all of Karakura Town, but it wasn't just a simple, cut-and-dry training space. It looked like a desert of some kind, the ground mainly made of dirt and sand. There were rock formations all over, some tall enough to form canyons and some much smaller. The roof looked like a real sky complete with clouds and a sun, even though we had to be miles below the actual ground judging by the size of the space. When I asked Urahara how he managed to make something like that, he just smiled at me and shrugged.

Even though its creation have to remain a mystery to me, it was clear that the space perfect for training me to use my powers. At first, Urahara was the only teacher I had, but pretty soon everyone became invested in helping out. Everyone had different ideas on what I should learn, so in the end we decided that everyone could help if they wished. Urahara taught me battle tactics. We went over how to fight against different weapons like the zanpakutō of a Soul Reaper or the body of a Hollow (since they don't ever really use weapons). Ichigo and Chad helped me with endurance. They believed that being able to survive for long periods of time would come in handy with opponents who may be stronger than I was. Rukia taught me concentration and helped me to bring my spirit pressure under control. Yuroichi also helped me train, and with her I practiced agility.

The first time I really "met" Yuroichi was an experience I knew I would never forget. I had gotten to the shop after school, and she was sitting on the table, licking her paws. I dropped my bag on the floor and plopped down on a cushion.

"So," I said, crossing my legs like a pretzel, "What's on the agenda for today?" I looked around, expecting to see one of the boys, or even Urahara, but it seemed like the shop was empty.

"Everyone's gone into town on some errands, so it's just you and I for today," she answered, standing on all four feet. I stared at her warily. How exactly was a cat supposed to help train me to fight or use my lightning? What exactly could she do? "Give me just a moment," she said as if she had heard my question. All of a sudden she leapt off the table and there was a huge puff of smoke in the room. At first I thought one of the lights had exploded. Coughing, I tumbled through the doorway into the back hallway until most of it cleared.

Peeking back around the doorway, I felt my jaw drop and if it hadn't been attached to the rest of my face it probably would have hit the floor. A naked woman stood in the same spot where Yuroichi had just landed. She had dark skin and violet hair that fell down her back. As she turned to look at me, I stared into a pair of familiar golden feline-like eyes. Grinning, she crossed her arms, thankfully covering herself a bit.

"Let me get dressed and we'll head down, ok?" the woman asked.

"Yuroichi?" I stammered, feeling a bit like an idiot. She nodded and laughed and I turned away quickly as she started to walk towards me. She grabbed some clothes off the top of a shelf in the next storage room and I stood against the wall waiting for her. As she emerged, she pulled her hair up into a ponytail at the top of her head.

"Sometimes it's just easier to be a cat, I find," she said, winking at me. And that was all the explanation I got. But Yuroichi the human had just as much agility as Yuroichi the cat. She could jump long distances, tumble through the air, and flip around an opponent during battle like a piece of rubber. When we trained, she would set up obstacle courses for me to make my way through using bits and pieces of training from everyone. I would have to dodge flying rocks, use Flash Step, dive and tumble past more rocks, fight anyone who jumped into my path, and think cleverly about how to make it past certain obstacles.

Today's course was rather straightforward; we were working on basic agility. I had to run down into a ditch and make my way over several large piles of unsteady rocks, practicing my balance and lightness of body. I also had to dodge Jinta's rocks and Renji's Kidō, much to their pleasure. After making my way across the ditch and grabbing the bandana tied to a post on the other side, I had to go all the way back through the course _again_ to the starting point. Yuroichi then decided whether I had adequately conquered her torture chamber, and so far, I had yet to get a "congratulations!" or a "you pass!" from her at all.

I leaned my head back against the rock and breathed heavily. I was still covered in sweat, even though I had discarded my t-shirt a while ago. My black sports bra clung damply to my skin, as did my shorts. As I wiped some sweat off my stomach, my hand passed over part of my scar that was there. It ran from my right hip across the front of my body, then wrapped around the left side of my waist just below my ribs.

There was a split second of fear and embarrassment that clawed at me like it always did, as I realized I had been running around with my scars plainly out for everyone to see. But as quickly as the thought came, it passed. I traced the scar with my fingers and again marveled at how it felt warmer than the rest of the skin around it. As I did, I realized that I no longer cared if people could see my scars, especially these people. My friends. They didn't care, although the first day I was brought down into the "training yard" (as Urahara called it), he had asked if he could look at them more closely.

I had stood there awkwardly as he lifted my arm and ran his fingers over my skin. He had stared at them for so long, sometimes his face almost inches away from me. In the end he said he couldn't really explain where they had come from, although they looked like a burn of some kind in his opinion. I had already thought of that of course since my house _had_ exploded into flames. Perhaps I had gotten tangled in something that was ablaze when I tried to escape? _Guess I'll never know_, I thought bitterly, brushing some dirt off my knees.

I heard dirt crunching nearby and looked up to see Renji sauntering towards me from around a bend in the rocks.

"Tired already?" he laughed, raising his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the rock again.

"Why don't you give it a shot Renji and show me how it's done," I offered. "Then I can shoot lightning at you and see how well you do." He laughed and leaned against the rock next to me.

"Please. _This_ isn't hard to do. You've just got to be light on your feet. And quick. You don't pay enough attention to your surroundings," he said, grinning because he believed, yet again, he had proven himself superior to me. I just looked back at him, a look of sheer boredom on my face.

Renji was so busy feeling smug, he didn't realize what I was doing until it was too late. As he stood there all full of himself, I reached over and pushed on his calf right below his knee, causing his leg to buckle underneath him. He fell right on his ass in a small cloud of dust, and the look of surprise on his face was enough to make me laugh out loud.

Jumping up, I moved a couple steps away from him in case he tried to hit me back.

"What was that about paying attention to your surroundings, oh wise one?" I asked. Jinta laughed loudly from his perch on top of the canyon wall and Yuroichi chuckled as she watched in amusement. I crossed my arms and fixed Renji with a grin. His eyes narrowed as he slid his legs under him. I knew he was about to lunge at me, so I waited until the second before he moved. I stepped to the side, and Renji went sailing past me, grabbing at nothing but thin air until he fell face first onto the ground. He had tried to use Flash Step, not remembering that I could use it too. To me, he wasn't moving faster than light anymore, but the same speed that I could move at. I laughed again as Renji stood up, coughing from all the dust he kicked up.

"Looks like you need to run the course too," I said, knowing full well I was baiting him more and more. But I liked pissing Renji off. He had such a short fuse and would rise to any provocation aimed at him. At first it had been funny just watching him and Ichigo fighting for no reason, but soon I got in on the game too. It was entertaining to watch him try to retaliate because he relied so heavily on physical attacks. However, all my time with Jinta from before my powers had even surfaced had already prepared me for anything Renji could throw my way.

Out of all the people in this strange, dysfunctional, super-human family I had somehow fallen into, I spent the least time with Renji. He lived in the shop with Urahara, Tessai, Ururu, and Jinta, but lately I had been spending most of my time below in the training yard rather than upstairs working. Renji took over my job when I was training so we never really interacted very much, except on days like today when he was asked to help out.

Even though I didn't really know him, I found Renji very easy to read. His emotions were always clearly written on his face and he often said exactly what was on his mind, which was usually criticism or some smart ass remark. Because of this, I learned quickly what would set him off and how he would react to certain things, and it had become a fun sport to annoy him.

"Now now kiddies, that's enough," Yuroichi said as she slid down off her rock. Landing lightly on her feet, I couldn't help but think how much she resembled a cat even in her human form. Renji wrapped his arm around my neck as if to hug me and smiled innocently at Yuroichi.

"We're just messin' around, right kiddo?" He gave my neck a squeeze as he said the word "kiddo" which he knew I hated, and I glared up at him. Yuroichi raised an eyebrow before she walked away back towards the huge ladder that led back upstairs. Renji was still waving to her and grinning like an idiot, so I punched him in the stomach. He let go of my neck and stumbled backwards into another rock.

"You should probably stop letting your guard down like that. It might get you into trouble," I said, tauntingly. I grabbed my t-shirt off the ground where I had thrown it a few hours ago and began to run towards the ladder too. Yuroichi had called it a day which meant it was probably about time for me to head home.

"Well," Renji said, sputtering after me, "At least I don't leak spirit energy all over the place. I could tell where you were from the opposite end of town if I had to." He fell into step behind me as I rolled my eyes and ignored him. Weeks of falling into arguments with Jinta over stupid comments like that had taught me it was smarter to just keep my mouth shut.

Renji kept talking smack as we reached the ladder. I placed my foot up on the first rung and hoisted myself on before climbing for what seemed like hours. _Why can't he just put a stupid elevator in? This climbing will be the death of me._ But when I reached the hole in the ceiling through which was Urahara's shop, I was pleasantly surprised to see that while I was breathing heavily, my muscles were no longer burning in pain from the physical exertion of the day. My body was beginning to lean up, my muscles becoming a little more defined, and strenuous activities weren't really strenuous anymore. I smiled to myself as I slipped my t-shirt back on over my head. _Looks like all this is worth the trouble after all. _Reaching up, I pulled the elastic band out of my hair and let it fall back down onto my shoulders.

As I looked out the windows I could see that the sun was beginning to set. The sky was a light pink and shadows were beginning to stretch across the yard. I walked into the back room to say my goodbyes. Urahara was stirring something in a pot on top of the small stove against the wall and Tessai was handing him spices as he asked for them. Jinta was reading his comics and Ururu was playing with a doll. Yuroichi had sprawled across a few pillows and was reading a packet of official looking papers. I leaned against the doorframe, watching them all as Renji slipped past me to sit at the table as well. He flicked me on the ear, and as I rubbed the spot, I felt it.

At first it was like a ripple on water, only a slight and soft disturbance, but still there nonetheless. The hairs on my neck and arms stood on end and I felt the invisible fingers of a presence grasping at the edge of my consciousness. I rolled my shoulders a bit, hoping to shake off the strange feeling. It felt somewhat familiar, as if it was being obscured by a fog I couldn't disperse. It pushed harder and harder on my mind until the feeling became overwhelming. I heard a crackle and a roar as if something was erupting into flames and I snapped my head around to face the front of the shop across the hallway.

"Sayuri?" Ururu's soft voice floated to me as if she were miles away. Jinta had put down his comic book and stared at me, a worried expression on his face. Yuroichi had sat up on her pillows and Urahara had stopped cooking. They were all watching me but I didn't understand how they couldn't feel it too. The presence was so strong and a pressure had begun to build around me. My chest felt constricted and I could feel myself getting light headed. There was an evil feeling in the air, like there had been when the Hollow was following me through town weeks before.

I stared at the closed front door. There was nothing different about it at all; it was still the same sliding door that had always been there. But at that moment, I was sure that if I moved it aside I would find something beyond it in the yard; something that maybe should be left undiscovered.

"There's something outside," I whispered. My voice was dry and sounded raspy, like I had gone hoarse. I heard some scuffling behind me and saw Jinta run up to the front window, trying to see outside. Urahara had also gotten up and was standing close by. Part of me wanted to let Urahara him go open the door and check what was out there, but another part urged me to do it myself. I couldn't explain it, but it felt like the presence was calling to me, reaching out for me to answer.

I took a tentative step forward and half expected someone to grab me and hold me back. But they all stayed put, the tension in the air becoming thick and almost electric (which I was sure had something to do with me).

The walk to the door felt like an eternity, and a voice in my head was screaming at me to turn back. I could feel my heart speeding up and pounding in my head. I felt like I was moving slowly underwater as my hand reached out for the door and my fingers curled into the handle. Bracing myself, I slowly started to slide the door open. But, once I moved it only an inch, I felt something grab it from the other side and pull it. Jumping back, I felt my hands instantly heat up with lightning and saw the white hot glow of it out of the corners of my eyes.

"Ichigo," Urahara said from behind me, a note of relief hidden behind a sarcastic tone of voice. I let out the breath I must have been holding without realizing it and looked unbelievingly at him, his orange hair glowing a bit in the dimming light. He looked back at me, confused, one eyebrow raised.

"Everything ok?"

"Oh yeah," Jinta said walking up next to me, one hand on his hip and the other waving away Ichigo's question. "Stripes is just losing it. Nothing new." On a regular day I probably would have put Jinta in a headlock or smacked him in the back of the head, but today was different. I knew it wasn't Ichigo I had felt out in the yard. I knew him and I knew what his spirit pressure felt like. This was something entirely different.

I stepped around Ichigo and reached out with my own mind, trying to sense it again. But as fast as it had appeared it seemed to _dis_appear. I could feel something tickling the edges of my consciousness, but it would flicker on for only a moment before going off again. I couldn't shake the darkness that had come with that presence; it was completely unnerving. Like nothing but hatred had filled the air around me for a few seconds before it slowly faded away. My eyes scanned back and forth across the empty yard, but there was nothing but shadows slowly moving across the ground as the sun sank lower and lower.

I walked further outside and stopped in the middle of the lot, looking around.

"I know I felt something," I whispered to no one in particular.

"Very good, girl," a voice said from behind me. I froze, an ice cold shiver racing down my spine and rooting me to the ground. A terror I had never felt before suddenly took hold of me. My heart felt like it stopped beating and all I wanted to do was run as fast and as far as I could. "You should always trust that little voice."

I heard a crunching and knew whoever the voice belonged to was making his way closer to me. I heard a rustle of fabric and could feel him close behind me. I knew that voice. I had heard it before, sometime in the past. It made me uneasy, and not knowing why made me scared. Out of this fear, I reacted on impulse and spun around, throwing out my hands. A flash of lightning erupted from me but when the light dimmed, I could see that no one stood before me.

"There's no need to be afraid," the voice spoke again from behind me and I swung back around, my eyes widening in surprise. _How did he move so fast?_

"Sayuri!" I heard the shouts of the others as they ran out of the shop behind me. Ichigo reached me first, placing a hand on my shoulder and looking at me intently, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. As the others reached us, Ururu's small voice confirmed my fears.

"He was at the footprint," her small hand pointed across the yard to a corner now in shadow. Half hidden in the dark, stood the man I had seen before I almost passed out near the footprint weeks ago. He looked the same; his hair was long and black, tied into a braid that ran down his back. The little light that was left caused his skin to look pale and white. It shone beneath his robes which resembled the ones Renji wore except that there were no sleeves, and they were loosely tied so his chest was slightly exposed. The fabric was red with a strange pattern going up both sides. The more I stared at it, the more I realized it was the bottom half of a dragon.

"Yes, I was. Watching, as I have been. And waiting," he began to walk towards us and as his arms swung at his sides, I saw that the dragon patterns continued off of his robes, and onto his arms. They ran all the way down to his hands and ended with his palms being the mouths of both dragons. _Weird tattoos._

I looked up into his face and suddenly wished I hadn't. His eyes locked onto mine and burned so fiery red I thought the world around me was going to erupt into flames. There was a strange gleam in his eyes that made my skin crawl; they ran over me like he was appraising a valuable object.

I knew instantly that I didn't like him, that he was bad news. An insatiable darkness radiated off of him like heat from a fire, and it made me sick. But I couldn't stop my curiosity. My mother had always said it would be the death of me.

"Waiting for what?" I asked.

"Why, for the day you would be fully born into your powers. I have been waiting quite a long time, after all." He grinned at me and suddenly I felt anger flash inside me as I took in everything about this strange man. Somewhere deep inside my mind something stirred. I knew this man from somewhere. I had seen him before and he had done something to make me hate him with a passion that frightened me.

Ichigo stepped in front of me, stopping the man from walking any further and I saw that he was now wearing the robes of a Soul Reaper. I felt a rustling at my elbow and looked over to see Renji had walked up to us as well, also in his uniform, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword which was tied at his waist. The man chuckled and I put my hand on Ichigo's arm. He looked back and me and it was a few moments before he stepped aside.

"You have cautious friends," the man remarked, crossing his hands behind his back.

"For good reason. You say you know me but you haven't exactly introduced yourself," I said, keeping my gaze fixed on the man. He laughed again and it made me grit my teeth.

"But you already know me, Sayuri Kobayashi." _How does he know my name?_ I felt the anger drain from me, only to be replaced by a fear laced with uneasiness. _Did I meet him that night…is that why I can't seem to remember him? He's not exactly someone easily forgotten though…. _"As all daughters know their fathers."

All the air that had been in my lungs suddenly left in a gust that made me feel as if I had been punched in the stomach.

"What did you say?" Ichigo asked. I could hear reactions from the others still standing behind us near the shop, but I felt like I was caught in the middle of a nightmare, unable to move and unable to speak. I just stared at the ground with a sinking feeling inside me.

"No," I muttered. "No you're not." My hands balled into fists and I realized I felt like I was drowning. I scrambled to make sense of what _I_ knew was the truth. "My father's dead. He died before I was born, my mother told me." My voice was getting steadily louder, and shakier. I had backed up a few steps and was shaking my head as if that would make his words go away. "She told me. You can't be my father. You're not my father!" He looked at me with pity in his eyes, as if I were an injured animal on the side of the road.

"I'm afraid that's not entirely false. I _am_ dead, but, not in the finite way you are imagining. I would have thought after all this time among Soul Reapers you would have somewhat of a better understanding of how death works."

"So you're not a human," Renji said, his eyes narrowing. The man shook his head.

"Correct, Soul Reaper. I am not." He turned back to me, "But Sakura wished to keep you from me. From the truth."

"How do you know my mother?" I shouted at him, panicking now as his words were starting to make sense. There was a nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach that was telling me he was telling the truth. Hadn't Urahara said that since my mother was a Soul Reaper, for me to have inherited Shadow powers my father would have had to be one? Could this man be a Shadow? They were spirit beings, which meant they weren't human as he just said. I had no idea why, but no matter how hard I wished it wasn't so, I somehow knew he wasn't lying.

"Sakura and I…we have a bit of a history together. We were lovers," he said, grinning in the most disgusting way. As if the memory was still pleasurable to him now. "How else do you think you were born, child?" He looked at me, and I felt the overwhelming urge to claw his eyes out. There was something that disturbed me about the way he said "lovers". It made my stomach squirm and I didn't want to hear him say anymore.

"Shut up," I snapped. Renji looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn't care. "Don't talk about my mother." My palms were heating up and I struggled to keep myself in control. "And don't call yourself my father again." The grin slipped off his face and his mouth set in a straight line. His eyes suddenly lost all amusement and clouded over with harshness that almost swayed me from my anger.

"You can deny it all you want, child. But deep inside you, you know that I am who I say I am. You can feel it. I can tell that you do. You sensed my presence before any of these…silly creatures even knew what was happening. Shadows can do that, you know. We have heightened senses when it comes to dealing with our own kind, and can sense each other over an even wider distance than these _Soul Reapers_."

"You're a Shadow?" I whispered, not really needing him to answer. I now understood why his presence felt so familiar: it was identical to my own. In my mind, I reached out and when I felt him there, I went deeper. Spirit ribbons erupted around me, dancing in a nonexistent breeze, each the representation of people's spirit energies. There were several red ones, which I now knew from my training and education represented Soul Reapers. Looking around, I saw a few white ones as well that shone much brighter than others. Then I spotted my own, just like I had weeks ago when Urahara had taught me how to summon the ribbons in the first place.

It was a bolt of lightning, flickering with static electricity, but flowing in the wind as all the others did. Beyond it, I saw another distinct ribbon. It felt the same as mine, gave off the same aura. It was difficult to understand completely, but it was like recognizing the feel of water on your hands. You instantly know you're in water. The same went for the ribbons and spirit pressure in general. It was just a feeling that became natural to me. I knew the ribbon was the same as mine. But the Shadow man's was a flame; red and orange and hungrily reaching towards the sky.

"Come with me, Sayuri," I heard his voice echoing in my mind as I watched the flames of his ribbon dance before my eyes. "You belong with me. With your own kind, where I can show you sides of your powers that these people could never imagine." I stared into the fire and felt a surge of energy unlike anything I had ever felt before. Suddenly I felt larger than myself, larger than the yard and the shop and even the whole town. With one flick of my wrist I knew I could bring Karakura Town to its knees if I wanted to. I could bend them all to my command for my power was limitless. It was intoxicating and the pleasure from it spread through my veins like wildfire. "You know you want to," he whispered.

I was suddenly drawn back to that first day I met him, when he locked his crimson eyes on me for the first time. They had haunted me for weeks and even now I saw them before me, burning like the fire itself. There was a blackness in them, an emptiness, and a hatred that repelled me rather than attracted. They sent a warning shock through me that zapped away the pleasure of power. I wanted to run from him not join him. Something inside me was screaming for me to wake up, to remember things long forgotten.

There was a memory, a far off feeling of what having no control was like. The hopelessness and complete defeat was painful to remember. I suddenly felt trapped and pulled back. I would never wish those feelings upon anyone. I wanted nothing to do with this man and as I stared into the flame of his ribbon, it began to change. Suddenly, it grew larger with a roar and I felt myself fall backwards and hit the ground.

As I landed on my butt, my regular vision came back. Ichigo fell to his knee and threw up his arm to shield himself from the pressure the Shadow man was emitting. It rippled through the air, a slightly visible force field coming right at me. Suddenly, Renji was in front of me. One arm took his sword, swing it over his head, and held it against his back. He wrapped the other around my waist and pulled me to him. His body shook slightly as the force field made contact with his blade, and he clutched me tighter.

I looked up at him, terrified that he would be hurt, but his face was completely calm. He stared back at me, our faces closer than they had ever been.

"Now's not the time to try and do some soul searching," he said quietly. "Ichigo," he said, looking up. "I think it's time for him to leave." Ichigo nodded and began to stand up. Renji looked back down and me. "Ready?" I looked down and flexed my hands a few times. Nodding to him, I saw him prepare to move out of the way.

Closing my eyes, I let the confusing anger I had felt towards this man pulse through my body. He had no right claiming to be my father or to talk about my mother the way he had. And he certainly had no right to try and hurt my friends. This conversation was over. I was done talking to him, whoever he really was. I felt Renji let me go and allowed the energy to well up inside me. As soon as I felt he was far enough away, I opened my eyes.

Holding out my hands, I exhaled and released all of the energy towards the Shadow. The lightning shot across the yard faster than he could dodge it. I felt it make contact with his body just before he seemed to melt into the ground. It was like the shadows had swallowed him up whole. He then emerged from the wall to our right in an area that was all in shadow as well due to the setting sun. He was clutching his arm as it dripped something deep red onto the ground.

His eyes were glowing red now, and the air around us rippled again. But instead of another attack, there was a sudden outbreak of appearances throughout the yard. The shadows cast by the oncoming night began to morph and from them emerged several other figures from each of the corners of the lot.

There was a thin, blonde man in a gray sort of jumpsuit, a dark-haired woman in an ethereal blue dress that flowed over her like water, and a young man who wore a vest covered in what looked like tree roots. It was this one I noticed first, and he winked at me.

Renji, Ichigo, and I pressed our backs together so we were facing out towards the new intruders. I conjured up some more lightning into the palms of my hands and let it run up arms.

"Katsu," the blonde man drawled in a haughty voice, "You look just awful. Very unbecoming of a king." The woman sniggered, and the tree man stepped forward towards us.

"What did you expect? He just told this poor girl he was her father. I'd be pretty upset too." I backed up further against the boys. "Surely it's normal she'd take after him. We all know our king to have a bit of a short temper," he said smirking. He lowered his eyes and looked up at me through his lashes, his eyes becoming heavy and hypnotizingly sultry. For a few moments I couldn't move; he was mesmerizing. But then Renji elbowed me in the side and I loosed a bolt at the tree man's feet. He stopped walking and chuckled a bit.

"Oh, you want to play?" he asked, grinning dangerously.

"Enough!" Katsu shouted from near the wall where his arm seemed to have stopped bleeding. The dragon tattoos on his arms were glowing red, and I had a strange feeling that if he got angry enough fire would start shooting from his hands like my lightning shot from mine. He raised his hand and pointed a finger at me. "It doesn't matter if you believe me or not. My blood runs in your veins. _I _know because _I_ put it there."

Renji grabbed my arm and started to pull me back behind him and Ichigo again, but Katsu wasn't finished.

"You can run from it as long as you want, but the truth is that you _are_ a Shadow. You have inherited _my _legacy, not that silly coward of a Soul Reaper's. You can continue with this charade here in this…," he gestured at Urahara's shop, "hole in the wall. But I will tell you this. _You _will come to _me_ one day when you realize who you truly are. When you understand your duty. You can't run from that no matter how hard you try! Something your fool of a mother realized too late," he smiled at me triumphantly and I couldn't hold in my anger any longer.

I screamed and ran at him. I placed my palms together and then pulled them apart, a sheet of lightning exploding from between them and racing towards Katsu. It tore up the ground and traveled faster than anything I had ever seen. His eyes widened and he suddenly pulled the hilt of a sword from his waist. His tattoos glowed brighter, and a red flame licked along them until it hit the hilt. It looked like the dragons were breathing fire into the sword as a blade of flames formed.

It cut right through my lightning like it was butter, sending it rocketing off in separate directions. I heard Urahara scream something at the kids and realized I couldn't be so reckless. As I came within reach of the fire blade I leapt into the air and flipped over Katsu's head, landing on my feet behind him. I spun around and sent a slash of lightning at his stomach but he blocked it with his sword just as quickly.

I felt something wrap itself around my ankle and looked down to see a vine trying to wind its way up my leg. A panic welled up inside my mind and I shot lightning down at it as well, falling over as I did. As it retreated I looked up to see Katsu glaring down at me. I tried to crawl like a crab backwards and away from him, but he was already too close.

"I was hoping we would have had more time to talk about all this but, like father like daughter after all," he said, no traces of affection on his cold face.

"You're _not _my father," I spat back at him. He grimaced but before he could make another move, I saw a gleam of metal out of the corner of my eye. A familiar serrated sword blade almost took off one of Katsu's arms, if another vine hadn't wrapped around his middle and pulled him back.

"Get out of there, Sayuri!" Renji yelled from the other end of the blade, and I took his advice. I jumped to my feet and raced back to where he was standing. Ichigo grabbed me and pushed me between himself and Renji.

I looked out at Katsu and saw his glowing eyes staring back as he stood there with the others. Who were they? Were they Shadows also? They had called him their king as well…what could that mean?

"You will see, Sayuri," he called from the other end of the lot. "You will no longer be able to run." He then stepped back and they all melted in to the shadows, but not before the tree man blew me a kiss. For a few moments we all stayed alert, keeping our eyes open in case it was a trick and they were about to come back. Urahara stood near the shop with Tessai and Yuroichi. _The kids must be inside_, I thought, relieved. _Hopefully they didn't get hurt._

When enough time passed, I took a deep breath and let myself de-tense.

"Well," I said, forcing myself to smile. "He seemed nice."

"Yes," Urahara said, walking towards me. "And I have a feeling this is just the beginning of your happy family reunion." I swallowed hard and looked around the yard at the numerous shadows that now inhabited it as the sun finally slipped below the edge of the world. I had never been afraid of the dark, but perhaps this was a good time to start considering it.


	12. Chapter 12

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

thanks to clouds shadows, silver-wolf reborn, Dancin-Babe, XxDemonicAngel, Tari Tinuviel, and Shibien11 for joining us.

i know i know it's been a while and i'm slipping with this whole keeping a deadline thing. summer's just been a little hectic but i promise i'm working real hard at making this story awesome for you guys. hope you like the newest chapter. enjoy!

m

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><p>Chapter 12<p>

That night, for the first time in years, I dreamt of my father. But it wasn't a dream like those that had filled my childhood; ones that featured a handsome man that looked like me who was strong and heroic and kind. He made me feel proud to be his daughter. That man was not in this dream. It did not feature him returning from important business elsewhere to embrace my mother and cure her of the unspoken terror I often saw in her eyes. He did not lift me up and twirl me around, telling me what a good girl I had been for keeping my mother safe. This dream was not a dream at all. It was truly a nightmare.

_I was standing with my mother in our old house. The explosion had not yet happened, the sun was shining through the windows and everything was clean and neat the way my mother always kept it. I was watching the scene from inside my own body, but I had no control over what was happening. I was merely a spectator._

_My mother's face looked angry and hurt. I was saying something to her, my voice rising, but the words were muffled as if I was listening from the other side of a wall. I wanted to stop myself from continuing to yell at her; whatever I was saying was clearly hurting her, but no matter how hard I tried to regain control, I stayed completely helpless. With a jolt, I suddenly realized I was watching the last memory I had of the two of us right before my mind went blank. _

_Suddenly we were both knocked to the ground, the rug underneath us stripped away. The walls suddenly dissolved and it was like we were floating in blackness. It was disorienting and strange; I could still feel a solid floor beneath us, but everything was dark except for our two bodies. Regaining control of my body, I looked up and saw such blind fear in my mother's eyes that it made my stomach clench. _

_She jerked backwards, like something had tried to drag her away from me. Her hands scraped and grabbed at the ground, trying to stop herself from being taken. A rush of sound came roaring back into my head as I heard her screaming. It cut right through me and I began scrabbling after her, trying to grab her wrists and hold on to her. I wanted to stand up, I could catch her better if I was running, but something held me down. Some kind of ominous pressure weighed by body down and I didn't have the strength to overpower it._

_Just as I was about to reach out and grab my mother, I felt as if my body had reached the end of a leash. I jerked to a stop and then felt myself being pulled up and backwards, away from my mother who then vanished right before my eyes. I landed vertically against what seemed to be a wall and tried to push myself away, but the pressure held me there like and invisible rope. Out of the darkness, a pair of glowing crimson eyes opened like two flames suddenly sparking to life._

"_My blood runs in your veins." The voice, low and full of an obsessive possession, hit me like a strong gust of wind, pushing me back against the wall even more. The words began to repeat over and over until it sounded like many voices all speaking over each other. I was able to move my arms and covered my ears as the voices grew louder and louder, each hit from them tearing at me like the claws of wild animals. Eventually there was such a commotion that only two words were even audible._

"_My blood!" I felt something warm trickling down my cheek. Pulling my hands away, I felt my stomach heave and a gag catch in my throat. My arms were covered from my fingertips to my elbows in blood. In the darkness it still glistened, a deep red and it dripped off my arms in thick droplets. I held my hands as far away from me as I could and felt my stomach heave again, bringing up nothing but a scream that was lost among all the voices screaming around me._

Something flashed on the other side of my closed eyelids and there was a sharp crack like an outlet surging and exploding. I opened my eyes and the first thing I realized was that I was sitting up in bed holding my hands out in front of me. My palms felt warm and tingly and I flipped them over and over checking for signs of blood. It had felt so real, so wet and hot as if I had stuck my hands in a pot of boiling water. It almost burned right through my skin but now, in nothing but the scant moonlight streaming through my window, my hands were nothing but shaky and pale.

Looking up again, my breath caught in my throat. Across the room I could see a hole, its edges still smoldering, right through my wall. I pulled back the covers frantically and struggled out of bed, in the end just falling onto the floor. Scrambling up I walked over to the hole, staring at it openmouthed. It was the size of a golf ball at least, its edges black and ashy as if someone had just shot fire through it. _Or lightning._

I looked down at my hands. They still tingled a bit like always after I used my powers. As I watched, a final tiny bolt wound its way through my fingers then disappeared. In my sleep I had accessed my Shadow abilities without consciously being aware of it, and _used_ them. That thought sent a cold chill of fear down my spine.

What if someone had been standing in front of me? What if Emiko or Isamu had run in to see why I was screaming? I ran a finger over the edges of the hole feeling the fear sink deeper inside of me. Here I was with a power that was destructive and raw, that I could barely contain when I was awake, and now I was using it without even knowing. For the first time I really felt afraid of the power I had, afraid of what it could do, and afraid that I couldn't stop it.

Footsteps padded heavily down the hallway and I looked around frantically for something to put over the hole. I ran to my desk and grabbed a few thumb tacks and a flyer from school about a food drive coming up. Stumbling back to the wall, I managed to hang it up just as the door to my room slammed open.

Isamu's huge frame filled the doorway and his eyes were open wide, sweeping across my room. He gripped a baseball bat tightly in his hands and I stepped back against my dresser, suddenly a bit afraid of him as well.

"What on _earth_ is going on in here!" Emiko pushed her way between Isamu and the doorway and looked at me, a bewildered expression on her face and her eyes filled with worry. Her hair was wild as if she had just rolled out of bed herself and her nightgown was a bit askew. I suddenly realized I was panting and that my t-shirt was clinging to my body where I had been sweating during the nightmare.

"I, um, just had a nightmare that's all," I said, sounding more out of breath than I thought. I straightened up straightened my shirt, trying to look like it wasn't a big deal. Emiko's expression instantly softened and she came over to me. Peeling the strands of hair that were stuck to my face away, she smiled sadly and pulled me in for a hug. Behind us Isamu lowered the bat, looking uncomfortable at the mushy sentimental path the night was suddenly traveling down. Emiko pulled away and held my shoulders, looking into my eyes.

"Was that _all_?" she asked, sounding relieved. "It sounded like a gun went off in here! We nearly jumped out of our skins!" She waved her arms around wildly, making some kind of sign language gesture that might get her point across better.

"No gunshots!" I said quickly, sounding a bit panicky. Isamu's eyes narrowed the slightest bit. "Just me falling out of bed," I laughed, shaking my head at the ridiculousness of the idea. All the same, Isamu strode into my room and checked under my bed as well as in my closet. Then he walked to the window and leaned outside, looking around.

If I hadn't been watching him there, I would have missed it. But as his gaze swept over the yard, I saw the tree branches sway just a bit. _There's no breeze tonight_, I thought, feeling goose bumps rising up on my skin. Who was in that tree? Was it that cat again that always hung around driving my neighbors' dog crazy? Or was it a Hollow? Or, worst of all, was it Katsu or another Shadow? I swallowed hard, averting my eyes and hoping not to give away the petrifying fear that suddenly took hold of me as I remembered my nightmare.

Isamu left the room, seemingly satisfied that I hadn't been attacked, and Emiko gave me one last hug before following him. I shut my door after them and then sank to the floor, my back against it. I didn't want to think about the dream again, knowing I would never be able to get back to sleep, but there were things about it that bothered me more than the blood and general creepiness. There were feelings underneath the actions that affected me on a deeper level.

The last moments I had spent with my mother were a blur before, but now I remembered a bit more of that day. I had come home from school and we had had an argument, but about what I still couldn't recall. The look on my mother's face as I screamed at her was so pained and upset that it opened a hole inside me I couldn't close. A hole that had been there for the past year as I did nothing but suppress thoughts of the night I lost her. I felt such guilt rise from inside it that squeezed my insides so much they began to hurt. Surely I would have noticed in the moment that I was making my mother upset, so why hadn't I stopped? Why had I kept screaming at her? Why couldn't I stop myself this time? Had I really felt the need to do something so awful to her when she already had so much on her shoulders what with sending me to school and keeping up with payments for our home? I'd have to dig deeper to find the answers, but going back to that dark painful place inside me would not be easy, and was something I wasn't ready to do just yet.

The other thing that bothered me was the blood. I had known somehow that it wasn't mine, that I hadn't been injured. It belonged to someone else. Someone I had fatally hurt. Their blood was _literally_ on my hands. A wave of nausea came over me as I realized this. I had never hurt anyone to the point of death before. Sure I had gotten in several scraps when I lived in Hidori, but no kid alive there could say otherwise without being looked at cross-eyed. I had broken some noses and some fingers, maybe dislocated a shoulder once or twice, but I had never _ever _cost someone their life.

Katsu's voice was still ringing in my ears as he had reminded me over and over that I was his blood; that we were cut from the same family cloth. That thought made my blood run cold. In the short moments I had spent with my father, I knew that I deeply disliked him. His spirit energy was dark and cloudy and ominous, going near it to get a better feel for him was impossible. He radiated the kind of evil that poisoned everything around him. He made me angrier than I had ever felt before and brought out a hatred that burned with an intensity I didn't know I possessed. It was scary to feel so out of control of my emotions. It was even scarier to wake up and find that I was also not in control of my powers as well.

Being Katsu's daughter and sharing his DNA was unsettling, but some deep part of me knew it was the truth. But what frightened me was the hatred I had seen in his eyes when I attacked him. It was so deep and so…evil, I couldn't understand how a person's emotions could even reach that far. But, did he mean by saying that his blood was mine that I would follow in his footsteps? That one day I would become a Shadow just like him? One day I would laugh at the pain of others, the way he had laughed at the memory of my mother? Children often became their parents. At least they always did in Hidori. Crack-head parents meant crack-head kids, and moms and dads who stole often met their kids in jail for the same reasons.

"No way," I said out loud, if only to further convince myself. "That will never happen."

I stood up slowly and walked to the window, feeling the cold breeze whisk away the sweat on my face. I took a deep breath and held my left hand out in front of me, lining it up with the trunk of the tree in my backyard. I let my mind clear and sunk into the part of my spirit energy that was my Shadow abilities. I felt the cord that triggered my lightning and allowed my energy to focus on it. It grew hotter and, as I exhaled, I let it flow down the cord from my center to the palm of my hand and then out to my target.

As the lightning hit my palm, Katsu's crimson eyes suddenly flashed through my mind and I felt my breath catch.

"My blood," I heard him whisper in my mind. My eyes widened and as the lightning shot from my hand, I knew something was wrong. Normally I was able to keep in control and guide the lightning where I wanted it to go. But this time, it felt like I was trying to hold a hurricane on a leash. My arm jerked like I was being pulled in the wrong direction and the lightning shot off across the yard and hit the neighbor's shed with a crash. The dog started barking and a light flicked on in their house.

_No. That was wrong. It wasn't supposed to go there._ I just stared at my outstretched hand, too frightened to move. It felt like something in me had unhinged at the thought of my father. No, it wasn't the thought of him. It was the sudden possibility that somewhere inside of me lurked the potential to become him.

I ran to my bed and threw myself down, flinging the covers over my head and begging sleep to come as quickly as possible.

ooo

"Hey!" Renji's voice was loud and very close. Something hard and small hit the side of my head and snapped me out of my daze.

"Ow!" I rubbed my temple and glared at him. Relaxed, as always, Renji was simply leaning against the shelves in one of the Urahara Shop's storage rooms, the hand that had just flicked me waving in my face. He had one of his stupid smug grins on his face.

"You've priced that box at least ten times," he said, nodding his head towards the shelf I was standing in front of. It was a few hours after school and we were both on shift until my training would start for the day. Looking over I saw he was right: the box I was pricing was covered in several little, fluorescent, orange stickers. My shoulders sagged and I sighed. Dropping the gun to the floor with a _clack_, I picked up the box and began to peel the stickers off with my nails. I had no energy at all to think of a snappy comeback.

For the past week I had been having the same nightmare night after night. There were several new holes in my wall, each covered up with flyers until I could run to the store and ask how to repair drywall. So far, I had Emiko and Isamu convinced the gunshot sounds were really just me falling out of bed. I didn't know if they really believed me, but clearly they saw how affected I was and didn't probe any further about what was happening, for which I was very grateful.

After last night's performance, I hadn't been able to fall back to sleep. Every time I shut my eyes, Katsu's were there, glowing and smoldering like embers in the darkness. His voice still echoed in my mind whenever I found my thoughts drifting, which they did a lot as I walked around the entire day in a sleep deprived stupor. I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder, afraid he was going to emerge from the shadows at any second.

"Are you ok?" Renji asked, snapping me out of my mind wandering yet again.

"Fine," I answered automatically. "I'm fine." I went to rub my face, but forgot I was holding a bunch of price stickers. They immediately adhered to my skin and I felt them tug as I tried to move my hand away. "Damnit," I whispered, hearing the exhaustion in my own voice. I turned my back to the shelves and slumped against them, leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

Almost as if I had flipped a switch, there they were just like every other time I tried to shut my eyes. Those fiery red orbs hanging in the darkness, sparking and burning into me. I quailed under their gaze and felt my stomach clench. I didn't want him looking at me; something about his gaze made me very uncomfortable. It seemed almost excited by the fact that only its memory could shake even _my_ fortitude, which I had thought had been hardened by living in Hidori all my life.

I tried not to focus on the eyes, but an invisible force pulled me in and soon I found that I couldn't look away. I tried to open my eyes bit realized too late I was stuck in Katsu's gaze, feeling his hatred and corrupted energy swirling around me, trying to suffocate me. I thought I could smell ash as the flames that seemed to be within his eyes grew stronger and fuller. I felt warm as if real fire licked at my skin. My heart was pounding uncontrollably and I became lost in the fear.

Until something pulled at and stung my face. It was enough to release me from my imagined prison, and my eyes shot open. I was still leaning against the shelves, surprised that my legs hadn't given out beneath me, gripped them for support. In the place where Katsu's horrible red eyes had been, a pair of soft golden ones looked back at me. Renji was standing over me, much closer than he had ever been before. His shirt brushed against my arm and his hands were moving around my face. As I fully became lucid again, I realized he was pulling the stickers off of me, a strange look on his face as he did so.

His eyebrows were bunched together as if he were thinking about something very hard. Although he kept his eyes from mine, there was something I could see in them that I couldn't quite identify; some emotion I had never seen Renji show before. His hands were gentle as they peeled the stickers away, but the skin there was rough, a result of the hard work of a Soul Reaper. Each time he removed a sticker, he would press the pad of his thumb down over the spot to stop the stinging.

His eyes flicked to mine for a split second and then away again. In that moment I became electrically aware of just how close we were standing, and of Renji's other hand cradling the back of my head so my face was turned up towards his. I felt my cheeks heat up in a blush as my stomach did a backflip. I tried to turn away, but he held me still without using too much strength that it hurt. I found myself momentarily impressed by his mastery of control. How could he manage to be so strong and yet so gentle at the same time?

As he pulled away the last sticker his eyes flicked back to mine again and lingered there long enough for me to begin to feel self-conscious. I looked down and he stepped back and the electricity that had been hanging in the air between us dissipated.

"Where were you?" I looked up, confused by the question.

"What?" I asked.

"Where were you a few minutes ago?" He crumpled the stickers and stuck them in his pocket. Looking back up at me he continued, "You've been drifting off all day. Where did you go? It looked like you were in pain." His eyes hardened just a bit at the edges.

I had the words poised on the tip of my tongue, the words that I had been feeding everyone for the past year or so. _I'm fine_. I had so often just shut everyone out, finding it easier to deal with my emotions and thoughts on my own. Why drag anyone else down with the darkness that seemed to be constantly raging through me lately? I could have told Renji that I was just tired and needed some rest, or that I had had a lot of homework the night before. I could have told him many things and just walked away, reassuring him that I could take care of myself. I could have, if I hadn't realized what it was I kept seeing flickering in his eyes.

It was concern. Worry. Compassion, almost. And I realized then that I _had _seen that emotion cross his face before, but only ever for a few fleeting seconds and then it was gone. Ever since I had met him, there would be moments when I would catch him watching me when he thought I couldn't see. Moments when he regarded me with the same such expression as I saw on his face now, as if he were worried I was about to break into pieces. His eyes now roamed over my face, taking in the bags under my eyes and the paleness that came with not sleeping. Renji, for all his obnoxiousness and ignorance, was no fool. Of course he had noticed something was wrong.

I could have just made up another excuse and shrugged off this realization, but something stopped me. Something stopped me from putting up the wall I had built over the past year to keep myself safe. It was easier to do things on my own, because depending on someone else left too much to chance. Especially when they would just disappear on you. But something stopped me from holding back this time, something in Renji's eyes perhaps. Or maybe it was because he was the first person to really discover my powers? He had saved me from an attack by the Shadows just the day before, and from the snake Hollow. I trusted all of my friends, but something inside me reached out for Renji in a way it didn't for the others, but I couldn't tell what it was. I could have just walked away. But I didn't.

"I was thinking about my father," I said quietly, looking away from Renji and at the ground. He said nothing, but straightened up a bit, clearly listening. "About the things he said the other night. I've been having… nightmares about him all week." I looked up at Renji, expecting to see him start to laugh and tell me that only children still had nightmares. But he didn't. His face was straight and his eyes were hard again. For a moment, I faltered and had second thoughts about telling him. Maybe I had been wrong about the concern I had seen there, and was only wishing for it to be so. Desperation often leads to false realities.

"What are they about?" he asked, and I looked back down at the floor. _Well, Sayuri, you already started this mess, you might as well finish it too._ I began to tell him, slowly, about what I had dreamt of and how it was exactly the same every time. He stayed quiet and let me talk, not interrupting at all. When I was finished he leaned back against the shelves beside me and crossed his arms over his chest. I looked over at him and saw him staring up at the ceiling, his eyebrows pulled together again.

"Do you think it means something?" I asked, finally voicing the concern that had been bouncing around my head all day. Renji turned his head and fixed his eyes on mine, suddenly intensely gold.

"Do you?" Momentarily I was stunned by how heavy his gaze was in that moment. I blushed as I noticed that the gold in his eyes was flecked with brown. Unable to look away, I wasn't sure if I should keep talking to him, but my doubts were seemingly overruled. It was like once I had started I couldn't stop and his attention drew me out beyond my wall.

"I'm not sure." I pulled my eyes away from his and twisted my hands together. Looking up at the ceiling, I leaned my head back. "There were moments that felt like…it was more than just a dream. Like it was filled with…memories, almost. But they weren't really memories, I don't think." I looked over at him, unsure of how to put the feelings into understandable words. But Renji nodded as if he followed me, so I went on. "There were feelings underneath it all. Like the blood. I could just _feel _that it wasn't mine, that it belonged to someone else I knew. I don't know who and I don't know why I would feel that way, but I did. And when my mom was being dragged away," I paused a moment, my voice catching the tiniest bit. That part of the dream was still the hardest to think about, seeing my mother ripped away from me without being able to do a damn thing about it. "When that happened, I could just feel like it was the most important thing that I save her. That she couldn't be taken away or something terrible would happen to her, but what that was I don't know." I scratched my head. "It's all messed up."

"Sometimes dreams like those are just your mind trying to tell you something," Renji said, bending down and picking up the pricing gun I had dropped. "It's like a riddle or a puzzle. _You_ have to figure out how the pieces all fit together and what they might mean. Then you can figure out what it's trying to tell you." He handed me the gun and turned to go. Just as he reached the door he stopped and turned back to me. "As for the part about your dad," his eyes softened a bit as he spoke this time, "You may be his daughter, but you're not him. Remember that." He grinned at me and walked out.

As he walked out of the room, Ururu slipped inside. It must be training time. _Oh, joy._ I followed her down the hallway to the room that housed the trapdoor leading underground. I mulled over what Renji had said. At first, it seemed reassuring. But then I began to remember some of the other things Katsu had shouted at me. That I had inherited more of _his_ genes over my mother's, and that I would one day come to him when I realized who I truly was. Did he know something of my powers that I had yet to discover? Was there more to them than just the lightning? And why would I go to him after coming into my full potential?

I recalled the visions Katsu had forced into my mind, visions of a power so great I could destroy the entire town. Was that the level I could one day reach? A part of me recoiled at that idea, arguing that that much power would be impossible to control once it was ignited. But another part of me, a part that still lingered in the darkness ever-present in my mind since meeting my father, was intrigued. I remembered those visions and the intoxicating pleasure that had come with that power. I remembered how it had felt to be bigger than my body and to be able to do whatever I wanted with no restrictions or limitations.

It was with this mindset that I began training for the day. I was working with Urahara and Ururu and Jinta sat on a rock nearby to watch, while Tessai and Renji manned the store upstairs.

"Today I want to work on molding your powers when you use them," Urahara said. He placed his hands on my shoulders and guided me back to a raised rock with a flat surface, like some kind of stepping stone. He walked back and stood in front of me a few yards away. "All of the Shadows have molded their elemental abilities into weapons of some kind. Your lightning doesn't seem to want to take any kind of shape, which is fine, but now you need to figure out how best to use it. You can't just keep shooting out unstable blobs of lightning." I nodded to show that I was following.

Urahara unsheathed his zanpakutō and held it up before him.

"Katsu carries a blade which we all saw. What did you notice about the others though?" I thought back and recalled the awful memory of the previous night's attack. My first thoughts went to the young man. He hadn't looked much older than me or my friends.

"The earth man," I said, closing my eyes and remembering. "He had a vest with…vines I think. He uses them like tentacles." Urahara voiced his agreement and I continued, the images of the fight now surprisingly vivid in my mind. "The woman, I think she controls water, had some kind of hilt tied at her waist. But there was no blade?" I opened my eyes and saw Urahara nodding.

"Some kind of weapon made of water I would assume. How about the last man? Air?"

"He only carried fans," I said, Urahara's eyes on me as if he were waiting for a specific answer. I suddenly felt very nervous and thought carefully about what I was going to say. "Which he could use to manipulate the air in some way. Or even as aerial weapons themselves." Urahara nodded and smiled.

"Very good. In battle, and in any situation really, it's important to stay alert and take in as much as you can about your surroundings, including the people. From here you can plan your battle strategy against them, but that's for another day. Today we're going to work on giving your lightning some useful forms instead of just reckless blasts." I blushed a bit, feeling like a baby just learning how to walk on my own. Urahara was right, I had no idea how to control my powers at all.

I suddenly remembered what had happened after I had my nightmare with the lightning and how it had shot off in the wrong direction. I hadn't told anyone about _that. _Thinking about it, I realized it would be too embarrassing to admit to letting a silly dream affect me that badly. Urahara motioned for me to begin.

I took a deep breath and steadied myself as I had been taught. Closing my eyes, I focused my energy at my core and again found the cord that was my lightning. I extended it through my palm, then stopped and thought. I remembered the night I fought the Hollow and how I had thrown disks of lightning at the monster. Perhaps I could recreate those now? Holding the image in my mind, I focused my will on creating disks.

The energy began to flow along the cord towards my palm, but yet again, once it reached that point it shot off in another direction not as a disk, but just a blast of lightning. It knocked me off balance a bit and Urahara had had to duck so as to not get hit.

"Sorry!" I shouted, panic rising inside me. It had happened again. That same disconnect I had felt the night before. It was like something had interrupted my focus at the last second before I released the lightning, blocking it from my control. Righting myself on the rock, I started to try again.

"Watch it, Stripes!" I heard Jinta shout. I focused my energy and let it flow through my body and towards my palm, but at the last moment I felt my concentration fumble again and the lightning went awry.

"Woah!" This time Jinta and Ururu had to dive out of the way. Closing my eyes tightly and breathing hard I summoned all my energy.

"Hang on, Sayuri!" Urahara was calling, "Something feels wrong! Don't-"

But I didn't hear him. The next moment, Katsu's eyes exploded into my vision and I balked, stumbling backwards. They were so intense and were glowing so brightly I felt as if they were truly made of fire. It was like no matter where I went their gaze always followed me.

"My blood!" His voice echoed through my mind so loudly it felt like he was standing right beside me. I looked down and suddenly saw the blood all over my hands again and felt an ice cold chill run down my spine. The others were calling to me but I was trapped in my own mind, in my own nightmare.

I began to shake my arms, flinging them wildly about and trying to get rid of the blood. I tried to tell myself it wasn't real, it was just a trick, but then my father's voice spoke other words to me that had not been in my dream.

"It's not a trick, my daughter. It's the truth. We share the same makeup, the same desires and feelings." Suddenly he was standing before me, grinning as he had a few nights ago. He held out his hand to me.

"No!" I shouted, feeling myself surge with energy. My palms suddenly erupted, the lightning shooting from them with such force I fell backwards. But there was something new there as well. A feeling I had not felt before when using my lightning. There was a pleasure there that was tinted with a darkness I had not felt before. My power surged and grew to an intensity I had not yet reached. For the moment I felt in control; I felt wonderful. I was the most powerful person in the room. I could do whatever I pleased with just a twitch of my fingers. As I thought this, I felt them wiggle a bit.

There was a sharp scream from somewhere to my right as I hit my head against the ground and snapped back to reality.

Stars were clouding my vision, but once I sat up they started to disappear. Looking around I saw Katsu had vanished. He hadn't really been there. Jinta and Urahara were kneeling on the ground to my right. Ururu sat between them clutching her arm. There was a large stain on her shirt, and as I looked closer I realized it was deep red.

I felt ice cold. My stomach dropped and my eyes grew so wide they started to hurt, but I didn't care. Urahara picked the girl up and in his arms she suddenly looked very small and fragile. He started to walk quickly away towards the ladder.

"Ururu," I felt my voice catch in my throat. Fear was surrounding me, entwining with a sickening guilt that wrapped itself around my heart. I scrambled forward towards them. "No, no! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean…I don't know what happened! I just couldn't stop it or see or-"

Jinta, who was following Urahara closely, suddenly reeled around towards me, a look of pure fury on his face.

"Don't you come near her!" he shouted at me. I froze where I was, stunned at the hatred on his face. "Don't you even think about it!" His shoulders were heaving up and down as he breathed as hard as a charging bull. All I could do was stare at him. "You were messed up before, but now you're just crazy!"

"Jinta," Urahara called back to him, warning him to be quiet. But the boy wasn't finished.

"No! She's crazy!" he shouted. Turning back to me he continued, "You can't even be normal for two seconds and learn how to use your stupid 'shadowy' demon powers so you don't kill us all! You're dad was right! You are a monster just like he is! Just…go away!" There were tears in his eyes as he turned and ran after Urahara.

"No," I whispered shaking my head slowly and then much more vigorously, trying to shake off his accusations. "No I'm not. I'm not a monster." I wanted to shout that to them, but my voice suddenly failed me. I didn't know what to do. I just sat there on the ground and watched them all get farther away, three small figures suddenly rocketing towards the ceiling and the trapdoor. As quiet fell upon the training yard, I could hear how ragged my breathing had gotten, as if my body wanted to cry but the sobs and tears wouldn't come. I was too stunned to cry.

What had I done? I sank to my knees and covered my face with my hands, picturing Ururu pale and bloody, injured badly by my out of control lightning. I knew Jinta was right. I couldn't put aside my worries about my father and my dream for a little while so I could focus. I should have told Urahara about the problems I had had with the lightning the night before. I shouldn't have used it around the kids with it being so tricky.

"So stupid!" I shouted pounding my fists against the ground. I had let my fear and confusion get the best of me, and in turn had injured someone I cared very much about. I wasn't strong enough to control even myself anymore. I had become lost in the very sensations Katsu had tempted me with earlier. Why hadn't I realized that? I had embraced that power, that intensity that brought about only destruction in its enormity.

I let my head fall forward until it touched the ground and I laid there, curled up, for what seemed like a very long time. I tried not to admit it to myself. Tried to find some excuse for why it wasn't true, but I just couldn't escape the reality. What if my father was right? What if I was turning into nothing but a destructive, dark being of the Shadows?

"You may be his daughter, but you're not him," Renji had told me. But at that moment, what evidence was there that I was any better?


	13. Chapter 13

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

thanks to: ammiranny, TsubakiHana, heyjoon, Kyoichi Amaya, and Hope of the Darkness for reading. (sorry if i forgot anyone!)

i am sooooooo sorry guys! school has been an absolute nightmare since it started and i've just been constantly swamped with work and assignments and i've barely had anytime to write. but don't worry, the story is going to continue i haven't forgotten about it! or all of you lovely people! i can't say i'll be able to stick to the usual schedule of updating (not like i really did before anyway) but i will try and get more chapters up soon. enjoy!

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><p>Chapter 13<p>

As a crisp autumn breeze blew through the open bathroom window, I shivered. Turning on the sink, I let my hands stay under the warm water for a few minutes before washing them. The weather had suddenly taken a nosedive the past few days, plummeting down and staying there. Much to Emiko's pleasure, I finally had gotten to start wearing the pale yellow sweater that was part of my uniform as well as the gray jacket. She thought I "look positively adorable" in them, but I was just happy I had a reason to keep my arms covered. Most of the rooms in the high school were kept pretty well heated though, but the window in the ladies restroom was wide open, letting in a chilly breeze.

I had asked to be excused from class ten minutes before the final bell rang. Nothing had been on my mind lately except the accident with Ururu. It haunted me and stabbed at me, painfully. Urahara had bandaged her arm where I had hit her with the lightning, and he said she hadn't really lost a lot of blood at all, but I didn't care. Even if it had just been a slight bruise, I had injured her. I had made her hurt and scream out and fall down. An innocent little girl who looked up to me. All because I had been caught up in the delusion I let my father plant in my mind; the delusion of ultimate power. A power that evidently I was capable of harnessing.

After I left Urahara's that night, I had gone home, walking like a zombie the entire way. Emiko and Isamu could tell something was wrong, but neither of them pushed me to tell them anything so I had just gone to my room and fallen asleep in my clothes. I couldn't remember much of my dreams. If I had any at all they were nothing more than fragments in between my restless bits of sleep. For the next few days I avoided the store, having Emiko call in for me and tell Urahara I wasn't feeling well. Surprisingly, he didn't demand that I come in anyway, or say anything to Emiko about what happened. He just said that whenever I was ready to come back, he'd be there. Jerk. Why couldn't he just be normal and tell me to suck it up like any normal teenage employing boss.

As I walked over to the window, I dried my hands on a paper towel and noticed some ashes being swept around in little tornado like swirls by the wind. Looking over the sill, I found the cigarette butts lying on the ledge just outside. Their acrid smell still hung in the air as well as the scent of rule breaking, so surely Ms. Tanaka would be waddling along soon to try and discover the perpetrators. Her delinquent radar must be going berserk right about now. Sighing, I leaned against the ledge.

The sky was a deep blue with no clouds in sight. It looked beautiful behind the trees that were becoming bright shades of orange and red and yellow. I turned away, my back to it all. I didn't deserve to see such pretty things.

Obviously my powers reached limits that I was unable to control even now after all my training. However, Urahara and the others could only teach me so much and take me so far before my abilities left their realms of understanding. But it wasn't like I could just call up my dad and ask for his help. Shadow or not that was never going to happen. Ever. But until I understood more about myself and what exactly I could do, maybe it was a good idea not to use my lightning at all. It was definitely the safest idea. I sank to the ground, my back against the cold tiles.

My anxiety over my father and discovering who I really was, the nightmares, and the accident were enough to totally screw up my powers. And after what had happened at the shop, there was no way I was going to try using them again. What if I hurt somebody else? What if I hurt myself? I didn't trust myself to resist the temptation I knew I would experience. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to turn away from the feeling of letting my power completely envelop me and make me grow in size until I was as big as the whole world. What if I wasn't strong enough to keep myself in check?

The final bell sounded and the walls rumbled as students pushed back their chairs and began to pack up for the day. There was suddenly and explosion of sound in the hallway: laughter, shouts, chatter. I heard it all but I didn't move. I didn't want to leave the emptiness of the bathroom. I felt numb and lost and alone and ashamed and so many other things. Being around large crowds of teenagers whose biggest problems were what color nail polish to wear and what shows were on TV that night, only intensified those feelings. I was dangerous, and inhuman and people should stay away from me. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I buried my face in my skirt.

The door to the bathroom opened and I looked up. Rukia stared down at me from the doorway, both our bags slung over her shoulders. I averted my eyes after a few seconds and a breeze ruffled the top of my hair a bit. I knew she was still watching me and I felt my face heat up. _I probably look crazy sitting on the floor all by myself in the bathroom…._ But instead of telling me to get up or go home, Rukia walked over and plopped herself down next to me, leaning against the wall. She put her bag in her lap and fiddled with a small rabbit keychain that hung from a zipper.

"It happens, you know," she said softly. I looked at her, surprised at how gently she was speaking. Rukia was usually mercilessly blunt and forward. Being quiet and gentle was not something she did particularly well, at least not in my experience with her. But her face was calm and her mouth was turned up ever so slightly in the corner. She looked over at me, her eyes softening, and seeing my confusion, continued. "Making mistakes. It happens." I looked away, blushing again.

I knew I was acting like a child. Sitting on the bathroom floor with Rukia suddenly made that very clear. I shouldn't be sulking around avoiding everyone and everything. Part of me was embarrassed that she had to even say anything at all. But another part, a much deeper part, was trying so desperately to keep me from unraveling, that I had frightened myself into thinking that things would repeat themselves if I let them go back to normal.

"I know." I said, my voice much smaller than I wanted it to be.

"Everyone's screwed up at some point," Rukia said, grinning. "I can't even count on both hands and feet how many times Ichigo's messed something up. That idiot doesn't think at all before he acts and just rushes into things. Gives me a headache." She leaned back against the wall and stared at the ceiling. "And Renji…?" She let out a short laugh. "Well, he just doesn't think, period." Despite myself, I laughed at this. Looking pleased that she had gotten me to smile, she kept going. "He sucks at Kidō, if you haven't had the horrible pleasure of witnessing it yet. He kept blowing up the practice yards at the academy. Sometimes I wonder whether the teachers just passed him to get rid of him."

"The Academy?" I asked between giggles.

"The Soul Reaper Academy. You have to study and train there before you become a full fledged Soul Reaper." My eyes widened at the thought. Pleased she had managed to distract me from my self-pity party for even a few moments, Rukia went on. "After you graduate, you're placed into one of the thirteen court guard squads. If you're good enough, you'll get a seat. Renji's a lieutenant, the second seat, which means he's the second strongest member of his squad." I raised my eyebrows at that. The Renji I knew was an arrogant, clumsy idiot. How did someone like that become so important? _The same way someone like you has enough power to crush the whole town with one blow, _a little voice said in my head. Maybe there was something like that deep inside of Renji too.

"Even I've made some really bad choices." Rukia's voice became hard, and her eyes looked steely. She was faraway, deep in memories that clearly caused her pain. Shaking her head a bit, I could see the life slowly make its way back into her face. She looked up and gave me a small smile. "It's always going to happen. Especially when you're learning something new. Everyone understands that."

"Not everyone," I said, wrapping my arms around my knees. Jinta's horribly pained face burst into my mind. I could see the tears welling up in his eyes and felt the sting of his words as if he had shoved a knife between my ribs. _She's crazy! You are a monster!_

"The point is," Rukia said, turning to face me, a stern look on her face that held no foolish signs of pity, "the mistake isn't important." I looked at her confused.

"How-" She held up her hand for me to be quiet and let her finish.

"It's what you learn from the mistake that's important. Just because you screwed up, doesn't mean you failed or you should walk away and never try again. That's just giving up and taking the easy way out. You have to learn from what went wrong and use it to make yourself stronger and smarter than you were before. Use it to stop things from happening like that again. That's how you reach your full potential. That's how you win."

I couldn't help but stare at Rukia after she finished. I had never heard such strong words come out of someone's mouth before, but I could feel the truth in what she said. Yes, my powers were dangerous and unrefined, but if I tried just a little harder, if I didn't allow myself to give in to the temptation, there was a chance I could really master myself. I would just need to make that first step.

"So come on," Rukia stood up and dusted herself off. Turning to me, she held out my bag and smiled. "You have work today." I knew that I couldn't avoid the shop any longer. I needed to go back and apologize again for what happened. I needed to accept what I had done and stop running from it. I needed to grow up. Taking a deep breath, I nodded and grabbed the strap of my bag. Rukia yanked me up. I smoothed out my skirt and looped my bag over my shoulder.

Rukia grabbed my wrist and began to pull me to the door. As we exited the school I looked up at the sky. Rukia was right. I would probably make countless mistakes in learning to use my powers, but there was no use getting upset about them. If I did, I would be at a complete standstill, not learning anything and going nowhere. I had to try and get stronger, to understand more about why my powers were the way they were. Even though I dreaded seeing everyone again after hiding for days, I knew I had to do it. _Might as well get it over with…._

When we finally arrived at the Urahara Shop, Tessai greeted us in the yard. He was sweeping and whistling a cheerful tune.

"Gone?" Rukia asked, letting go of my wrist for the first time since we left school. Tessai nodded.

"Yes, the children have gone with Mr. Urahara to town for a few things. They won't be back for some time."

"It's fine," I told her. "_I'm_ fine. I need to start anyway, I'm late for my shift." Tessai raised his eyebrows at me, clearly surprised I was talking about working after having been gone several days.

"You sure?" Rukia asked, turning to me. She looked concerned and I felt a small pang of annoyance. Why did no one believe me whenever I said that? Did I look that fragile? I nodded assuredly and walked straight inside the shop without saying another word. I could hear Rukia say goodbye to Tessai as I slipped off my shoes. Reaching into my bag I pulled out a pair of jeans and my t-shirt that said "Urahara Shop" in green writing across the front. As I ran my hand over the characters, the door slid shut behind me.

Turning around I looked up into Tessai's face. Like Isamu, he was a man of few words. His face was often stoic and never hinted of much emotion, but the smile he had on at the moment was so wide I was honestly surprised. I was worried his jaw was going to unhinge.

"It's wonderful to have you back Miss Kobayashi," he said, the corners of his eyes crinkling behind his glasses. I smiled back, feeling a warmth in my chest. Tessai had the ability to make me feel like he always spoke the truth. To see him this happy that I was back made _me_ happier than I had been for several days.

"We'll see how long that lasts this time," a voice drawled from the doorway to the back hallway. My smile slipped away as fast as it had come and I rolled my eyes. Turning around I walked further inside. Renji was leaning against the wall at the opening to the hallway. His arms were crossed and he was smirking at me. As I passed him I shot him a huge smile.

"Can't get rid of me that easily," I said, walking into the bathroom to get changed.

"A man can dream," Renji mumbled. I rolled my eyes again as I slid my skirt off and then pulled my jeans on.

"Mr. Abarai, Miss Kobayashi is a valuable employee. We would all be devastated if she decided to never come back," Tessai said, his voice quavering a little bit as if he thought Renji's words would really mean anything to me. Fully changed, I stepped out of the room.

"It's okay, Tessai" I said, grinning as I passed Renji again. "I know Renji would be heartbroken if I left. He just doesn't want to admit it." Shoving my school clothes back into my bag on its hook, I heard Renji let out a loud fake laugh.

"It would definitely be quieter," he said, walking over to a shelf and straightening a few boxes on it. I rolled my eyes again and turned to Tessai.

"Anyway, what's on the to-do list for today?"

"Mr. Urahara said he would like for you both to clean the large storage room in the back. There's buckets of water and sponges already in there."

"Us both?" I looked at Tessai, expecting him to correct his mistake. When he didn't, I got worried. "Wait, you mean…" I gestured towards Renji who was picking his teeth. "I have to work with…_that_ today? Can't I just do it myself?" Tessai shook his head. "But it would get done much faster if he didn't get in my way!"

"Orders are orders, Miss Kobayashi," Tessai said, his voice firm, both hands gripping the broom handle out of seriousness. "Mr. Urahara was very intent when he said he wanted _both_ of you to do it." And with that, he walked back outside to finish his sweeping. I slouched against a shelf and ran a hand over my face. Renji sauntered over to me with that stupid grin stretching all over his stupid face.

"Ready to get to work, partner?" he asked, punching my arm much harder than he should have. I glared at him. "Best way to get back into things is to dive right in you know." I placed my hand on his chest to shove him away but he barely even moved, only taking a small step backwards. He grabbed my wrist softly but firmly and I couldn't pull my hand away. I looked up at him confused. His eyes were soft around the edges as they stared into mine, flicking back and forth subtly. He shifted a bit and I could feel the muscles of his chest ripple underneath his shirt, my hand still pressed against them. A blush heated my face and I pulled my eyes away from his.

"What?" I asked quietly, tugging my hand back a bit. But Renji held firm until he draped a towel over my shoulder.

"For when your knees get wet." Looking back into his face, I saw his mouth curve into a small half grin that turned up the edges of his eyes. My heart skipped a beat. An electric surge unlike any I had felt thus far shot through my body, starting at my fingertips and ending at my toes. He let go of my wrist and walked away, swinging a towel over his own shoulder as well. As he rounded the corner into the hallway I let out the breath I had been holding. For a fleeting second, when he smiled at me with that lopsided grin, the realization of how attractive Renji really was flashed through my mind, made only worse by the fact that my hand had been pressed up against his chest. He had a very firm chest.

Shaking my head suddenly I wanted to hit myself. That was disgusting. This was the same guy who slacked off all the time and left me to do all the dirty work when we would have the same shifts. The same guy who would mercilessly make fun of me, as if it were his life's goal. And it was just…_Renji_. Starting after him down the hallway I mentally, and physically, smacked myself for letting him make me feel like…like…a teenager. _You are a teenager,_ a small voice said, but I pushed it away, disgusted again that even the possibility of feeling something more than friendly hatred for Renji had crossed my mind.

When I walked into the large storage room at the very end of the hallway, I expected to see him sitting on the windowsill, lounging around and doing anything _except_ helping me clean like usual. But to my surprise he was already kneeling on the floor, the baggy grey sweatpants he was wearing rolled up above his knees, dumping a bucket of soapy water onto the floor.

"Huh, never thought I'd live to see this day," I said, leaning against the wall. Renji turned around, sponge in hand, and glared at me.

"Just shut up and start scrubbing," he said, unable to come up with anything wittier to throw back at me. Grinning, I rolled up my jeans as well. I picked up the other sponge next to its own bucket and started on the other end of the room. The large window was open, letting in the cool breeze which felt good on the back of my neck as worked at scrubbing a years' worth of dirt and grime off the floor.

"God, doesn't he _ever _clean this place," I asked, sitting back on my heels at one point and wiping my forehead on the back of my hand. I had just waged war on a particularly nasty dirt clod that looked like a combination of dust bunnies, hair, and dried gum. Delicious.

"Well," Renji laughed, sitting back on his heels as well, "If you count using the vacuum until it clogs…."

"Yeah, how far did that get him? Two inches into the room?" I laughed and Renji grinned again, bringing me back to my earlier thoughts. Blushing, I turned back to my work and scrubbed vigorously, trying to think about anything other than Renji's smile. Once the dirt clod finally relinquished its hold on the floor, I rinsed the area off and snuck a glance over at Renji.

He was bent over, scrubbing a dirt clod that looked like it could have been my dirt clod's fat sloppy cousin. His arms were bare and I could see the muscles moving beneath his skin, making his many tribal tattoos seem to dance as he worked. His face was calm and smooth, focusing on his task yet far away in his thoughts as well. His hair was pulled back into a crimson braid that trailed down his back and fell off to one side and his black bandana was tied around his head to keep the loose hairs back. I took in everything about him within seconds and then realized I had stopped scrubbing. Panicking, thinking that he probably noticed me staring by now, I dunked my sponge back in the bucket way too forcefully.

A wave of water poured over the side as the whole bucket fell over. I stood up before my pants could get soaked, but slipped on my towel which had fallen off my shoulder. Landing on my butt, my foot crashed into the bucket which went bouncing across the room, clattering loudly. I could feel Renji's eyes on me even before I looked slowly over at him. He had one eyebrow raised at me and just stared. After a few moments he shook his head and laughed lightly.

"You're crazy." He stood up and walked over to me, offering his hand. I let him help pull me to my feet and then looked down with dismay at my soaked clothes. It took a few moments to realize that Renji was still holding my hand in his. I pulled away quickly before he thought that maybe _I_ was still holding on to _his_ hand instead. My face heated up again and I cursed under my breath. Renji just grinned.

ooo

A few hours later we were sitting on the windowsill to the big storage room as the floor air dried. I had changed back into my school uniform after Tessai offered to throw my wet clothes in the dryer. Both my legs hung over the sill and I swung them back and forth, my feet still bare. Despite the slight chill in the air, I wasn't cold, even after my spontaneous bath.

Renji, of course, had asked what caused my spasm. Because I couldn't possibly tell him the real reason, he decided I must have seen a bug and I had to spend the next hour listening to him mock me about it. Eventually, Tessai had made his way back into the room and slapped Renji on the back of his head, telling him that he should have been a gentleman and offered to kill it for me instead of laughing about it. I found that exchange to be incredibly funny, especially the confused look on Renji's face, so I started laughing too, to which I also received a swat and was told it wasn't polite to laugh at other people's pain.

Rubbing the back of my head where it still stung a bit, I looked up at the dark sky and noticed, with much dismay, that some storm clouds had rolled in. The low rumble of thunder worked its way past us, and I sat with bated breath for what would come next.

I could feel it before I saw it. A rush of energy surged through my veins like life itself, making the hairs on my arms and neck stand on end. I could feel it building high above me, like water trying to get through a stoppered drain. Finally, after searching around it found a crack in the clouds and came plummeting towards the earth with enough force to cleave the ground in half. The air around me was electric and I was suddenly very aware of the lightning leaving the sky. It hit the ground somewhere very far away, but I pulled my feet up and hugged my legs to my chest anyway.

"She'll get over it, you know." Renji brushed his toes against a rock on the ground outside at his feet. I looked over at him, not picking up on what he meant. "Ururu. She'll forgive you." I felt like my insides were caught in the grip of an icy fist, and I looked out into the night. This was the second time today someone was going to bring the accident up.

"Mm."

"I mean, she follows you like a lost puppy. She'll forget all about it and go back to being your shadow again so you can stop walking around in a permanent mope." Renji kicked the rock and we listened to it clatter into the dark.

"She shouldn't." I whispered.

"What?"

"She shouldn't forgive me." I buried my face in my skirt, feeling just as ashamed as the day of the accident.

"Why?" Renji asked, shifting suddenly to face me. "It was just an accident. _She_ knows that. _Everyone_ knows that. You didn't mean to-"

"I didn't mean to what?" I asked loudly and angrily, looking up at him. He leaned back a bit, no doubt because of the crazed look on my face. He could have no idea how much it had all been torturing me ever since I had hurt Ururu. I couldn't blame him. But who did I really have to talk to? My friends? How could they possibly really understand what I had felt? How overwhelming it had all been? It was like being trapped in my own personal hell, being forced to deal with all the thoughts and feelings alone. Maybe that's why I found myself suddenly spilling them all out, not caring whether Renji understood or not. I just needed to unload.

"Everyone knows I didn't _mean_ to almost fry Ururu to a crisp? That I didn't _mean_ to almost kill her? It doesn't matter whether I _meant_ to or not. It almost happened. For real. Not by accident. I shot that lightning on purpose knowing full well what I was doing and I couldn't control it. I haven't been able to control it for a while now, but did that matter? No. It didn't." Renji leaned forward and raised his hands as if trying to signal me to calm down. But I couldn't. Not at that point. It was like he had broken the dam inside me and everything just started rushing out. But I didn't want to stop it. It felt good to vent about it all finally. I surprisingly began to feel better with every word.

"There's so much more power behind the Shadow side of me that no one understands. It's neverending. It's so huge that I can't even see the boundaries of it anymore. When I used my powers that day, I felt like I was a thousand times bigger than the whole world. Like I could crush everything around me with one twitch of my fingers. It was so inviting to just slip into it all and lose myself. To just let the sheer power completely take over. Just like my _father_ said." When that part slipped out, I paused and realized with a thrill of fear just how right Katsu had been. "Just like him," I whispered.

"What do you mean?" There was an edge to Renji's voice I hadn't heard before. It was dangerous and sent a chill up my spine. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. He knew exactly what I meant, and I could almost picture the disappointment in his eyes.

"He's my _father_. His blood is my blood. He's a part of me. The Shadow part. The dark part. Maybe I really _am_ like him." Renji moved so quickly it startled me and I almost fell off the windowsill. He grabbed my chin and forced my face around so that it was only inches away from his. I fell towards him a bit and put out my hands to stop my fall, both of them landing against his chest. I was so thrown off I almost didn't hear him speak, his voice was so low.

"I don't ever wanna hear you say that again." I looked up into his eyes, now hard and completely serious, not hint of disappointment anywhere. They were narrowed and peered into mine with an anger I couldn't quite understand, at least not then. My own eyes were wide and I just stared at him in shock. "You're nothing like him," he went on, "Nothing at all. And you're never _gonna_ be like him." I shook my head.

"You don't know. I almost couldn't resist it. I almost just…slipped away." My eyes flicked across his face wildly. "What if next time, the same thing happens? What if I give in completely? If I can't stop it?"

"You can and you will." He squeezed my chin a little harder.

"You can't know that. I'm not that strong-"

"Yes you are. I know you are."

"How?" I asked, noticing the note of pleading in my voice, begging him for proof that I wasn't a monster like Jinta said. "How can you know?" Renji's face suddenly softened. His eyes relaxed and I watched his pupils dilate, but he stayed serious.

"Because I know you. You're stronger than you wanna admit. And you're not just a Shadow, Sayuri." A thrill went down my spine as he said my name and I felt his breath dance across my face. "You're brighter than they are. And I will _never_ let you turn into him. I promise."

"Why?" I asked. For what felt like an eternity, we just sat there on the sill, faces inches apart, my question hanging between us. Renji's eyes traveled all over my face as if searching for his answer and the longer it took, the faster my heart began to race until I was sure he could hear it. My fingers curled and I softly gripped the fabric of Renji's shirt in my hands.

"So…are you guys gonna like, makeout or something?" Jinta's voice shattered the moment, and both Renji and I pushed apart until our backs were pressed against opposite sides of the window frame. I looked down at the floor, my face warm. "Gross," Jinta scoffed as Urahara stepped into the room behind him and knelt to the floor to examine our work.

"Good job you two. It's nice to see you didn't kill each other," he stood up and grinned at us. Renji, all signs of the seriousness he just had gone, snorted and stood up as well.

"Sayuri almost did that on her own. She can't even stand up without ending up on the floor." He stretched and crossed his arms behind his head. Normally I would have punched him in the stomach, but I was still a bit shell shocked from what had just happened, so I merely stood up and grinned sheepishly.

"What else is new," Jinta said, grinning also. As his eyes met mine, I could see none of the hostility he had harbored the day of the accident. Clearly he had gotten over the events of the last few days and was back to his normal routine of treating me like dirt. What a wonderful child. Turning around he skipped out of the room singing something about me and Renji kissing in a tree, and Renji followed after him a bit red in the face. Giggling a bit at the ridiculous and dysfunctional life I had actually indeed missed during my self-inflicted misery, I turned around and pulled the window shut, latching it. In the glass I could see Urahara still inspecting the room and a small face peek around the doorframe.

Ururu's eyes met mine in the glass and I could hear her soft gasp. She began sprinting into the room and I turned around just as she threw herself into my arms. She held me tightly, her small arms wrapped around me, squeezing as if she was afraid I'd suddenly disappear. She buried her face in the fabric of my shirt and I stood there stunned for a few moments before I felt a prickling behind my eyes and a tug in my throat. _No crying, Sayuri_, I told myself. Biting my lip, I held back the tears.

Kneeling down, I let Ururu move her arms to wrap around my neck and I hugged her back just as tightly. Reaching up, I ran a hand over her soft hair and felt her tears roll down my cheek. I hadn't realized just how much I had missed her over the past few days. Ururu had become like a younger sister to me and, as someone with very little family, I never realized until now how much I cared about her. But what hit me the hardest was the realization that Renji had been right.

She had forgiven me. She told me later on that she was crying because she was happy I decided to come back. She was holding me tightly in fear I would go away again. Despite the fact that her hand was still bandaged and probably would be for a while, she wasn't angry at me. She never had been.

Maybe Renji was right about everything else too. That I would be able to ignore the draw to power I had been feeling. That I would be able to resist the darkness my father had bestowed upon me. My mother was a part of me as well, and she was nothing but good and honest and loving. There had to be a bit of her in me too.

As I walked home that night, I listened to the thunder rumbling far away; the storm had passed us by. Finding a light in the shadows that now filled my world would not be easy, but it was necessary and it had to be somewhere inside me. I just needed to find a way to spark it to life.


	14. Chapter 14

k guys so my awesome friend R totally turned me on to some typos in this chapter and some mistakes i've made so I went back and fixed them for you =] enjoy guys!

m

disclaimer: I do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. I just own this story line and the OCs

thanks to my latest followers: Ducky the Insomniac Panda, TheDeavil, fearlessdreamerr, Green-eyed Grinch, The Woman on a Flaming Pie, and ILuvKellanForever

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><p>Chapter 14<p>

"Stop it, Jinta!" Ururu begged quietly as she brushed snow off of the top of her head for the third time since we had left the store. I shook out the hood of her jacket where most of it had fallen and looked around for the little brat. The tips of his bright red hair were sticking out from behind a pile of snow that had been plowed to the side of the road. His giggles bounced off the walls of the side street and I put a finger to my lips, signaling Ururu to keep quiet.

Bending down, I scooped up a handful of snow and began packing it together. Ururu watched me warily, like always, not a hint of amusement on her face but I knew she'd get a kick out of it. Being as quiet as I could, I hurried around the corner behind where Jinta was hiding. Just as I thought, there was a dumpster resting against the wall. Placing the snowball gingerly in my pocket, I hopped up onto the lid, the snow muffling any sounds I made. I climbed up to the top of the wall behind Jinta's hiding spot and crouched down. Just as he was peeking over the top of his mini fort to see why we had gone quiet, I launched my snowball at the back of his head. He let out a shout and slipped on the snow, falling forward over his pile of snow and sliding to a stop at Ururu's feet. I jumped down next to him and started laughing, seeing the confused look on his face.

"No fair!" he shouted, standing up and rubbing the back of his head where his hair was now dark and wet with melted snow. "You can't attack me from behind!"

"Says who?" I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows at him.

"Says me! Ow!" A black streak cut through the air and landed on Jinta's head.

"Will the both of you just shut up," Yuroichi hissed. Jinta swatted at her and she jumped to the ground nimbly. Sitting down, she licked one of her paws. "The sun's going down. It'll be freezing soon, so let's just focus on getting home."

"You're just jealous 'cause you don't have thumbs to throw snow with," Jinta pointed out right before he lobbed a rather lumpy snowball at the cat. She screeched and jumped a good five feet into the air before landing on all four feet.

"You just wait 'til I show you what I can do with claws instead," she hissed at him, her fur standing on end before she launched herself at him and began to chase him down the street. I couldn't help but start laughing. When Jinta slipped on a patch on ice and fell flat on his face, my sides felt like they were going to split open. And when Yuroichi jumped on his back and started pulling his hair with her teeth, I was convinced they had.

Beside me, Ururu sighed and started walking after them, but not before I noticed the smallest trace of a smile on her stoic little face. A strong gust of wind whistled its way up the street from behind me, snaking over my coat's collar and down my neck. I shivered and hunched my shoulders, shoving my hands down into my pockets. The weather had steadily begun to grow colder over the past few weeks as the end of the year worked its way closer and closer.

I yawned and bent down to pick up the grocery bags Jinta had dropped. We were on our way back to the shop when we ran into Yuroichi who was out on patrol again. Lately, things had been very quiet on the evil spirit being front. Too quiet according to Kisuke. There had been no hints of Hollows or signs of the Shadows anywhere. No trace left behind at all and that was worrisome. It made me feel like we were getting the calm before the storm, as if any moment the air would just cleave in two and hell would be unleashed. At least that's what would happen in my nightmares.

Ever since the first one all those weeks ago, I had been having bad dreams almost regularly. Every couple days or so I would close my eyes and drift off to a world where my father tore open the sky and stepped down into Karakura town. He would stomp around at a few stories tall, zapping into oblivion dream versions of my friends and my mom and even Emiko and Isamu. I would wake up drenched in sweat either on the floor or tangled up in my sheets so badly that it was like wearing a strait jacket. A few more holes showed up on my wall that I quickly covered with more flyers and announcements from school. I somehow managed to convince my stepparents that the sounds they heard were me knocking into things on my end table during the night and them hitting the floor.

Last night had been particularly bad. In my dream I had watched both Jinta and Ururu get destroyed right in front of me and as I held their limp bodies, felt nothing but the deepest fear and hatred rising inside me. I woke up screaming and thrashing around on the floor and after that couldn't fall back asleep. I hated those dreams. I hated the feelings I had within them, such extremes of anger and sadness and loneliness and power. I always felt the power with which I knew I could crush my father and yet I never used it. I was afraid of it, just like in my waking hours.

I could feel my feet dragging in the snow as I walked up to Jinta, still suffering the wrath of his furry attacker. The crunch of my feet on the small white crystals seemed to bounce off the walls around us that blocked the yards from the street. Each one echoed back, magnifying in sound and making it seem like something much bigger was following right behind us. My mind began to wander, and it was then that I felt it.

A sudden shift in the air around me, so subtle, like the movement of air when someone walks slowly past you. But I still felt it and stopped dead in my tracks. _What was that? _ I reached out with my mind to sense what presence had just surfaced but came back empty handed. Figuratively that is. I looked over my shoulder at the empty street behind me. Nothing was there except a few swirls of snow. Suddenly I felt the shift again, this time from farther in front of us. I spun around, my eyes scanning the tops of the walls and streetlights. But again, there was nothing there and as soon as I reached out to feel for the culprit, the feeling vanished.

It was hard to understand what exactly I was feeling. It was like standing outside a pool of water while…_something_ swam around inside. Every time it surfaced, the water would ripple around it and for a moment, a swatch of its skin was visible. But as soon as it appeared, it vanished beneath the ripples again before I could tell what it even was. I could feel ripples in the air around me, not so much in the form of shifting winds but shifting spiritual pressures. I could feel it in my mind. It was like it was playing hide-and-seek with me. I wasn't in the mood for games.

Looking ahead, I saw that the others hadn't sensed a thing. They were still walking on: Jinta nursing a few cuts and bruises, Yuroichi lecturing, and Ururu in silence. I was confused. I mean, the shifts were subtle but not unnoticeable. How could they not have sensed anything? Something Urahara had said to me one day during training pushed its way to the forefront of my thoughts.

_"As a Shadow, you're going to have abilities none of us will. You'll be able to do things and sense things the rest of us can't, especially when it comes to other Shadows. You all share a similar makeup and are therefore connected in a deeper way."_ A chill ran down my spine. Could that be why no one else sensed the shifts? Because they couldn't? Because it wasn't any old spirit being causing them? It had to be a Shadow.

"But which one," I said aloud. Just then I felt another shift very close behind me, and with it, a burning desire to consume and devour. Not even turning around to look, I shot forward and was right behind the kids in less than a second, using flash step for the first time since the incident underneath the Karakura shop. I grabbed both kids around the waists and shot into the air, ignoring their sudden shouts of protest and confusion. I landed on a nearby roof and let them go, spinning around to look back at the street.

Underneath the pavement, I could see something. There was a shadow on the ground, as if being cast by some giant creature on the under side of the pavement. I stared at it, feeling the adrenaline coursing through my veins. It was laced with a terror that was usually reserved for my nightmares and that erupted within me every time I thought of my father. _Please don't let it be him. Please._

"Sayuri!" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked down to see Yuroichi perched on the tiles beside me.

"You can't feel it?" I looked into her large yellow eyes and wished I could somehow make her see. Make them all see.

"Feel what!?" Jinta shouted. I looked back at the ground. The shadow was still there. I could feel them all staring at me, but this time I had no concern whether I looked crazy to them. I knew what I felt. I knew that it had something to do with the Shadows even if no one else could sense it. If there was one thing that stuck with me through all of my training so far, it was to accept that I was different. I was going to be able to see and hear and feel things only Shadows could. I had learned not to completely reject it. But I got to thinking, what if this thing manifests? Do we run? I was certainly not going to use my powers again, that was for sure. I wouldn't take the chance of missing and hurting one of the kids, or anyone else around me, ever again.

"What is it, Sayuri?" Yuroichi stood up and followed my gaze to the icy pavement below.

"I don't know." I shook my head. "Something big. And hungry." A harsh laugh cut through the air and we all looked to the left. On top of one of the lampposts there sat a young man who was not exactly dressed for the weather. I recognized him: he had been one of the Shadows in the yard when I met my father.

"Oh, he's hungry all right!" His laugh sounded again, cold and hard, cutting right through the frozen wind. He hopped to his feet nimbly and fixed his eyes on mine. It was in that moment that I knew I didn't like him. The way he looked at me, his eyes slowly making their way around my face and then down my body just creeped me out. I shivered and he grinned. "He's quite hard to control when he's _this_ hungry. I haven't let him eat in days just so that we could come out to play today. He's getting angry. I don't think I'll be able to hold him back and you have the highest amount of spirit energy for miles around. It would be pretty hard to hide seeing as you're just a baby Shadow after all." He crossed his arms over his bare chest and laughed again.

His skin was lightly tanned and smooth underneath an open brown vest. From farther away it looked like it was made of the bark of a tree, all different shades of brown and black and gray. Patches of moss seemed to grow on it, soft and velvety. His pants were rather tight and brown, as were the heeled boots he wore. His auburn hair was messy and rumpled as if he had just rolled out of bed, and he would have been attractive if he didn't give me the creeps. Plus, I didn't like the way the vines growing out of the back of his vest seemed to be moving as if they were alive.

I grabbed handfuls of the kids' shirts and pulled them both behind me, not really sure what my plan was. I wanted to look back down to the street to see what was happening, but I was uneasy about taking my eyes off of the tree man.

"Who are you," I asked as I felt Ururu's hand grip my shirt. The man faked offense and placed a hand over his chest as if I'd wounded him.

"You don't remember? We go _way_ back, Sayuri," he said, grinning again.

"How do you know my name."

"Isn't it obvious?" He stopped smiling, and his face suddenly looked lethal. "I've been following you." A chill that had nothing to do with the wind spread through my body. I felt my eyes widen as I pushed the kids closer together behind me. "But you only sensed me today, because I wanted you to."

"Why do you want her to know you're here," Yuroichi demanded stepping out from behind me. "And who are you?" The man raised his eyebrows, surely taken a little by surprise that I was accompanied by a talking cat. Nevertheless, he smiled and jumped from the light to our rooftop. I took a step back, keeping the kids behind me, and he laughed softly, fixing his eyes on me again.

"Name's Mikio, kitty cat. And what man wouldn't want to be noticed by such a…_delicious_ Shadow as this one." He cocked his head and his eyes didn't move from mine. It didn't matter, I still felt violated anway. His words dripped with a greasy suaveness I recognized from living in Hidori. Sometimes, at night when you walked past the bars, the drunk men stumbling out of the doors would shout similar things to anyone they could discern was a female. Even though their words slurred, and their vision was probably blurry, I had always felt a threat underneath the pick-up lines and come-ons. It was there now, in Mikio's words, and for some reason it made me angry. The way he was smiling and grinning at me like I was some piece of meat he was sizing up. It was disgusting.

"What do you want," I said, sounding tougher than I really felt.

"Nothing really, gorgeous," he said, his face turning into a mask of innocence. "I just wanted to warn you about my friend down there, that's all. Before it was too late and that pretty face of yours got ruined." He grinned again. If Renji or Ichigo had been there, they would have laid this guy out flat already for talking to me like that. The thought of Renji made me feel a bit better, knowing how tough he would be if he were there. I had the courage to pull my eyes away from Mikio and look down at the street.

The shadow wasn't just a shadow anymore. It was a glob, slowly rising out of the pavement and forming itself into some kind of creature. I watched as it began to sprout arms. Two, three, four…then two legs. Finally, a head began to emerge from the center of the glob, white with hollow black and yellow eyes. I dropped my gaze to its chest, and saw there a hole that ran clean through its body. A Hollow. Mikio began to laugh again, and the creature turned its head to face us all on the roof.

"Smells like dinner," it said, not moving its mouth to speak.

"Move!" Yuroichi shouted, but I didn't need her warning. I knew the Hollow was going to strike seconds before it began to move. Turning around, I grabbed the kids again and leapt to the next rooftop. We were already halfway there when one of the Hollow's giant fists came down on the tiles, smashing them to bits.

"We have to get out of here!" I yelled to the cat. I didn't want to destroy another home. Wrapping my arms tightly around Ururu and Jinta, I started hopping from one rooftop to the other, heading towards a part of town where I knew there would be less houses to demolish. Once we got to the river I stopped and let go of the kids. I put a hand on both of their shoulders.

"You need to run home. Get out of here, you got me?" I looked at them both, hoping the urgency in my voice would scare them into running.

"But what about you?" Jinta asked and for the first time I saw clear concern in his eyes.

"Yes, what about you, sweetheart?" a voice drawled in my ear. I lashed out with my arm, but Mikio was too quick. As my body spun in the direction of my punch, I felt him appear on my other side. "Over here, love." I turned to see him standing directly behind the kids.

"Run!" I shouted as I launched myself at them. Mikio disappeared and the ground began to shake. As I reached the kids, the air was wrenched apart by that familiar howling that Hollows were so well known for. It had found us, and it was too late for the kids to get away unnoticed. Tripping over ourselves, I grabbed their wrists and started running, pulling them along with me. But the Hollow wasn't going to let his dinner get away that easily. He howled again and began to run after us, shaking the earth so hard I was sure the whole planet could feel it. Suddenly, Ururu tripped over a rock and her hand slid out of my grasp.

I turned and ran back to her just as the Hollow reached her. Throwing myself over her, I braced myself for the impact. Sure enough, the Hollow's giant fist came whistling towards me and smashed into my left side sending me flying through the air to land farther down the riverbank. I stood up, my side throbbing, sure I had broken something, to see the Hollow looming over Ururu. Jinta was kneeling at her side, his arms thrown around her neck as they awaited their turn.

I began to run back at them as fast as my legs would take me, getting as much force and momentum behind me as I possibly could. I passed the kids and launched myself into the air, flipping over so that my feet made contact with the Hollow's chest. He flew backwards off his feet, kicking up snow and dirt as he went. I landed neatly and ran back to the kids, not bothering to watch as the giant got back up and collected himself.

Pulling Ururu to her feet, I brushed her off quickly.

"Just use your lightning!" Jinta shouted at me. "What are you doing? You could take him down easy!" I looked at him, exasperated. I was not about to get into the complexities of my inner turmoil and self-loathing with a ten year old.

"I just can't," I told him, looking down and taking Ururu's hand in mine. There was a small scar that ran across the top of it, currently hidden beneath her mitten, but I knew it was there. We all did. Jinta threw his hands up.

"Then we're dead meat!"

"Jinta," Ururu implored quietly.

"Everybody screws up you know!" he continued to shout at me. "Just get over it! Are you really gonna let it stop you from doing your job?" I stared at him. _My job? _The Hollow screamed from behind us, and without even thinking about it, I threw my body on top of the kids, praying and silently screaming for some way to keep them safe.

As the Hollow's footsteps grew closer, I readied myself for the crushing final blow. I began to feel a warmth in my chest as my heart beat faster and faster. It grew hotter and hotter, like white fire, and suddenly shot outwards and down the path of my scars. I begged myself not to lose control, letting myself feel just how close the kids were to me. But no lightning came.

Suddenly I felt the impact of the Hollow's attack, but no pain, only a heavy pressure on my back. The force of the blow caused the kids and me to sink into the ground a bit, and a shower of red rained down on us from above. A scream tore through the air, and suddenly the pressure on my back let up until it was gone completely. I spun around to see the Hollow staggering backwards, cradling a hand to his chest, dripping dark red all over the pristine white snow. _What the hell…?_

It was then I noticed movement to my right. Turning to look I rubbed my eyes a bit, worried I might be hallucinating. A woman was standing not too far away from us. She wore tight black pants that tucked into thigh high white boots. Black fabric was wrapped several times around her chest instead of a shirt and over that she wore a white robe that looked as if the sleeves and hemming had been singed off. The robe had a hood that covered her head, but her brown hair tumbled out from under it in loose, glossy curls. I couldn't make out her face very well because she wore some kind of black fabric that covered everything under her eyes. As I watched her, I noticed that the edges of her body frequently fizzled quickly in and out of focus, like the picture on a television when there was interference. Like static electricity. She was so unlike anyone I had ever seen, I couldn't help but stare.

She must have sensed me watching her because suddenly she turned to face me and I let out a gasp. As her eyes met mine, I felt like I was looking into a mirror. An identical shade of light crystal blue stared back at me, at the same height too. She began to take slow, even steps through the snow towards me and time seemed to slow down. Never once did she break our gaze in the eternity it seemed to take until she was standing a few feet in front of me.

"You buzzed?" Her voice was quiet, yet full of a defiant strength and authority. There was a hint of danger there as well, which did not go unnoticed.

"Who are you?" I whispered, unable to find my voice, and for some reason afraid that if I spoke too loudly she would disappear, only a figment of my imagination. I couldn't exactly put my finger on why I was so shocked that this woman was here. It might have been that we could have been twins, or perhaps the strange feeling of déjà vu. Like I already knew her….

"I am you. Or parts of you, really. The most essential and powerful parts all manifested into something that can keep you safe. Something that can help you do your job." _My job._ She held out her hand and dropped something heavy into mine. Looking down, my eyes widened as I realized I was now holding a sword. Her sword. "It's not just a sword, kid." I looked up surprised. _Can she read my mind?_ Almost immediately she responded, sounding annoyed, "Did I not just say I was a part of you? Your mind _is_ a part of you isn't it…."

"Yes. Sorry," I insisted, holding up my other hand to calm her down. Looking back at the sword, I adjusted my grip on the handle. There was a thick, dark red liquid dripping off the blade onto the snow where it spread out like wisps of smoke. I held it up in front of me, my eyes taking in every little detail. "It's a zanpakutō, isn't it?" I asked, glancing up at the woman. She nodded once.

"It's me. I am the power that lives within that blade, and I wascreated by you. The power of a Soul Reaper swims in your veins, and it has lain dormant behind a wall for some time. Lately, there have been many cracks in that wall and I have been able to slip through until you finally heard my call and set me free yourself. But understand something, kid." She stepped forward and grabbed my chin with hands protected by fingerless leather gloves. "You are not my master. You do not own me. I am my own entity. But," she let me go and held up a finger. "If you ask nicely, I will lend you my strength. My job that was given to me by you, is to protect, you understand?" _My job is to protect._

If this woman's, my zanpakutō's, job was to defend, then it had to be mine as well. She was a part of me, making our purposes one in the same. Even if my powers scared the shit out of me, they could keep me safe. And most importantly, they could keep the kids safe. And at the moment, that was all that mattered. Not who my father was or what kind of wreckage I could leave behind. But those two children and getting them home safely. Getting everyone home safely. My job is to protect. Perhaps that could be my lifeline to keep me from falling into the footsteps of my father as well.

"Yes," I answered, more power behind my voice than I expected. "I understand. So please, will you lend me your power to keep the people I love safe?" The corners of her eyes turned up in what I figured was a smile. I smiled back. "Thank you, um…" I trailed off, realizing I didn't know her name yet. Or if she even had one, if I created her.

"Raiu," she whispered before fizzling out and disappearing. _Raiu. Thunderstorm…_ I grinned.

"Well, that's appropriate," I said to myself.

"Woah!" Jinta shouted beside me. "Where'd that come from?" Time had snapped back into real-speed and I looked over at the kids. Ururu was still sitting on the ground, cradling Yuroichi in her arms and Jinta stood behind them staring bug-eyed at my new weapon. I gripped the hilt tighter in my right hand and looked down at the blade. It was so thin, but I could still feel the weight of it. The power that it held. Deadly power. I then realized I had never even held a sword before, let alone used one. _You'll be fine,_ a voice said inside my head. _Just trust me. And yourself._ I swallowed hard, gritting my teeth. I had a job to do after all.

"Doesn't matter where it came from. It's our way out of here," I said, looking at the kids. Jinta raised his eyebrows, surprised. "Take Ururu and run home as fast as you can. I don't know if I'll be able to kill this thing but I may be able to hold it off long enough for you to go get help." Jinta nodded and grabbed Ururu's arm. She let go of Yuroichi who sprinted to my side.

"I'll stay with you. I may be able to do _something_," she said, the hair on her back standing on end as she eyed the Hollow still nursing his wound about a mile away

"Ok," I agreed. Looking back and Jinta and Ururu I said, "Now go!" They took off and I turned back to the monster, steeling myself for what could be my last moments not splattered like jelly across the river bank. I slipped off my jacket and let it fall onto the snow.

"Alright," Yuroichi said, "You're at least holding that thing right so we're off to a good start." I grimaced, keeping an eye on the Hollow. He seemed to be getting over his little cut, the anger becoming more evident by the second as he began scraping his feet on the ground much like an animal before it charges. "Now, the main thing you want to remember is to go for its-"

"Head," I finished. "Got it." The Hollow threw its head back, letting out another atmosphere shattering howl, and I fought not to drop Raiu and cover my ears. As it ended, he began running towards me, his feet crashing into the ground like boulders. _Let's go kick some ass,_ Raiu growled in my head. I grinned and began walking towards the Hollow. With every step I started to move faster and faster until we were both charging towards one another.

"Hold it with both hands!" Yuroichi shouted to me. "You can do more damage that way!"

Once there were only a few yards left between myself and the Hollow, I crouched down as far as possible, and pushed off the ground. Using my flash step to help me out, I launched myself into the air high above the creature's head. He stopped running and looked up at me, leaving himself unguarded and in the perfect position for my attack. While in the air, I lifted my zanpakutō over my head and brought my left hand to the hilt, just below my right. As I reached the peak of my jump, I felt my heart sputter in excitement as I began to fall back through the air. _Now!_

With a shout and all the strength I could muster, I swung my zanpakutō downward and felt it make contact with the Hollow's masked head at just the right time. It felt like slicing through butter with a warm knife. I watched as Raiu's blade traveled fluidly through bone mask, then flesh, all the way until my feet hit the ground. As everything stopped, all I could hear was my own breathing, heavy with exertion. It was as if I could feel every single drop of blood dripping off my face and arms. I was so aware of everything around me in that moment. Looking up, I watched in slow motion as the two halves of the Hollow fell towards the ground. Once they landed, they began to break up into small particle-like pieces, just as they had when Renji had killed that Hollow in the park all those weeks ago. They floated upwards until they disappeared into nothing, leaving only a pool of blood behind to suggest that a monster had ever even been there in the first place.


	15. Chapter 15

it's been months, i know. you all want to torture me cruelly for making you wait, i know. but i have a new chapter *makes adorable puppy eyes*! i won't bore you all with my busy schedule details but have no fear. it's finally summer which means i have no life and will be writing all the time! so expect new chapters every 2 or 3 weeks, or sooner if i can get them written sooner =] and like always, thank you for you support and sticking with me even though i suffer from sever procrastination problems 3

welcome to my new followers: hard-bitten confinement, Darkwolfdragon16, SweetxPandemonium, DerpDeDerpDers, ThatGirlNamedJen, ROGMethos, GSparts, Kalaia, Aferac, and CamoCountryGirl.

also thank you for the reviews from Cyndi and Lipsylove!

i love you all!

m

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

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><p>Chapter 15<p>

Snow had started falling on the gruesome scene by the river. A pool of dark red blood soaked through the pristine white frost covering the ground, and I shivered. It wasn't so much from the cold, but from how I was strangely _not _revolted by what had happened. I had just sliced a living creature (if that's what you considered a Hollow to be and hey, to each his own) in half. I had felt my blade snap tendons and ligaments, peel muscle from bone, and shatter those bones as well, all in a matter of seconds. I had felt the warm spatters of blood hit my bare skin and drip down my body. I could smell the stench of the Hollow still, after it had disappeared. It was like a rotting corpse, left in the sun, something definitely not found in the midst of winter. Despite all this, my gag reflex seemed to have taken a holiday. My stomach wasn't turning, I wasn't feeling lightheaded. Nothing.

That's what bothered me the most as I knelt down before the pool of crimson. Never before had I taken a life. Certainly, living in Hidori I had broken some noses and bruised some sensitive man parts, all give-ins when you came from that area. But I had never before caused damage to this capacity. Why wasn't I afraid? Why wasn't I feeling remorse at ending something that lived, even as evil as a Hollow?

I lowered my fingers to the surface and lightly touched the blood to make sure it was real. It clung to my fingers feverishly, like water to a dry sponge. I rubbed my fingertips together and watched as the blood dripped back onto the snow.

"What's wrong with me?" I whispered aloud.

"Quite thrilling isn't it?" a voice chuckled from nearby. I picked my head up slowly to see Mikio squatting at the other end of the blood pool. His eyes searched my face, the rest of his body so still he could have passed for a statue. "It gives you a rush like nothing else, doesn't it?" he asked, reaching down and running his fingers through the blood. Holding his hand in front of his face, he watched, mesmerized, as the thick liquid plopped back to earth. That was when the realization came hurtling towards me at full speed.

I stood slowly and backed away from the blood, each step feeling heavier than the one before, as if I was being dragged down into the snow. I could hear it crunch and with every step, I seemed to get no further away from Mikio. No further from the blood. No further from the truth.

I wasn't disgusted by killing the Hollow. I had enjoyed it. I had found no horror in spilling blood. I had relished in it. I had felt the power coursing through my veins as I wielded my zanpakutō, as I felt it cutting through the Hollow's body, and I had wanted more. I yearned for more. It was a feeling that was all too familiar. It was the same as the day I had hurt Ururu. The same power my father had spoken of.

I could hear my breath coming in ragged gasps as my mind began to drown in the sick reality of what I had done. Katsu was right. The power I had over other beings, living or not, was intoxicating and impossible to resist. How long would it be before I used it on innocent people? On my friends and family? My steps started to get bigger as I felt a cold panic spreading through my body. I began to stumble a bit as I walked backwards, always keeping my eyes locked on Mikio's. He smiled and began to laugh. The sound filled my ears and I hated it. I hated him. I hated Katsu and the Hollows and the fact that I had a zanpakutō and I wanted it all to go away.

I covered my ears and my eyes and suddenly felt myself collide with something very solid. A pair of hands settled softly, but firmly, on my shoulders. My heart skipped a few beats. Slowly, I tiled my head back and opened my eyes. I was met with golden eyes and a shock of crimson hair. Renji looked at me hard, but I noticed that flash of softness behind his stupid wall. He squeezed my shoulders. Something moved next to me and I turned my head to see Rukia and Ichigo all dressed in their black robes, poised with zanpakutōs at the ready. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

"Well this looks like quite a mess doesn't it," a familiar voice drawled from behind us. Kisuke Urahara took slow and steady steps towards the giant stain of blood that was every second getting large as it seemed through more and more snow. He had one arm folded across his chest and the other scratched his chin. His hat was pulled low over his eyes as usual, but there was something different about it. That vibe of authority was again emanating from him, and I could feel it pressing against my skin like an invisible blanket. _His spirit pressure... It only comes out when he wants it to…_

"That's right, Sayuri," a voice said in my head. "You're learning quickly. You've already noticed there's more to him than he lets on." I recognized the tone as Raiu. Looking down, I saw that I still held her in my hand. Perhaps we were still connected when I was in this form. "We're always connected, Sayuri," Raiu whispered, right on cue. I tightened my hold on her hilt, in a way glad that she was with me even if I couldn't see her.

"The new ones aren't always the cleanest though, are they?" Mikio had stood up, and was still grinning. His eyes flicked around to the different faces currently surrounding me. They rested on Renji's, and his grin got even wider. Renji squeezed my shoulders harder and I winced a bit, but I wasn't about to ask him to let go. Part of me didn't want him to, but I shoved that part away for the time being. Mikio spoke again, "But, can I assume you're here to clean up her mess?" He turned to Urahara who was kneeling beside the blood.

"We're just stopping by really," Urahara answered, standing up. "Possibly even lending a hand." Mikio laughed and threw his hands up.

"Well don't look at me! I'm not the one who chased after her!" He motioned to the stained snow, "She already took care of that monster."

"I see another one standing right here," Renji growled.

"Who me?" Mikio pressed his hands to his chest as if offended. "You wound me sir, I would never try to hurt this…_delicious_ little angel." He eyes drifted over me again, and I felt in need of a shower. Renji grabbed my arm above my elbow and shoved me behind him. Mikio laughed. "Easy there lover boy, I'm not a threat." Despite the seriousness of the situation, I couldn't help but blush when he called Renji "lover boy". But, before I could get lost in my girlish fantasies, Rukia stepped forward.

"How do you suppose that?" she asked, glaring at the tree man.

"See these vines, sweetheart?" He wiggled his vest a bit, and the vines in turn also squirmed. "The ground is way too hard for them to take root thanks to this damn ice age you humans call winter. I have no power here for the time being I'm afraid. I couldn't really do any damage myself. But my friend here was another story," he said, looking forlornly at the ground where the Hollow had been. "But, funny enough…not one of you has tried to kill me yet. Am I to believe that Soul Reapers are all really as honorable as you seem?" Renji squirmed, and I grabbed the back of his robes tightly.

"And perhaps we haven't killed you yet because we have some questions instead," Urahara interjected, stepping towards Mikio and throwing out his arm to signal that we should all stay back.

"Well, by all means," Mikio said, jumping faster than the speed of light onto a nearby boulder near the riverbank. He sat down and crossed his legs, resting his chin in his hands. "Ask away."

"Why are you here?" Urahara began. "Who are the Shadows, and what do you want with Sayuri?"

"Well, boss man, we're here because we wanna be. We're just people like you, and as for the girl…" Mikio trailed off and his eyes wandered to me again. He licked his lips, but I couldn't break from his gaze. "Who wouldn't wanna play a few games with her?"

Ichigo and Renji both moved at the same time.

"Shut up!" Renji roared.

"That's enough!" Ichigo shouted. They both sprinted towards the tree man, but he was too quick. He disappeared from his spot on the rock, to reappear in midair just above the boys. He stepped on Renji's head, kicking him to the ground and then disappeared again just as Ichigo unsheathed his huge zanpakutō. He flickered in and out of focus, each time coming closer to where Renji had left me standing, until he disappeared. But a warm breeze on the back of my neck clued me in on where he was.

He brushed back my hair from my neck, and I could feel his lips almost touching my ear as he whispered to me, "Like father like daughter, eh? Won't he be pleased to learn what other talents his little girl has?" The others were frozen, staring at us and afraid to move in case Mikio did anything rash. I gripped Raiu's hilt and growled at him through gritted teeth.

"Go to hell." He chuckled.

"Already there, sweetheart. I'll give daddy your regards." Then, I felt his presence disappear. As soon as it did, it felt like all the energy in me was gone. I fell to my knees and welcomed the cold snow as it rushed up to meet my face and the world went dark.

ooo

A loud crash nearby and some shouting pulled me from my catatonic state a few hours later. As I opened my eyes, I saw darkness. Once they adjusted, I recognized one of the extra bedrooms in the back of the Urahara Shop. The sun had gone down, but the moon bounced off the snow outside, dimly illuminating the room. I was on a futon in the middle of the room, wrapped in a warm and heavy blanket. Part of me didn't want to move from my little cocoon of safety, but the events of the day came rushing back to me and I sat up quickly.

I had a bit of a headache, but I stood up and walked to the door. As I did, I passed the wall mirror and froze. At first, I thought Raiu was standing in front of me. But as I looked closer, I realized it wasn't Raiu. It was me. And I was wearing the exact same clothes as my zanpakutō, but the colors were inverted. My pants and chest wrap were white and my boots were black, as was the robe I wore over everything. The hemming was frayed and jagged and there were no sleeves. Around my neck was a black cowl that could easily be pulled over the lower half of my face, just like Raiu's. I looked like a Soul Reaper, only different. _Maybe that's what you get when you mix Soul Reaper with Shadow…_

"-always the one who has to clean up your messes!" Someone stomped past my room, and I was snapped back into reality. I walked to the door and slid it open. Outside, the hallway was dark and still. Light spilled out from the open door at the other end which led to the small main room that was right off the store. As I came closer, I could hear even more people.

Stepping into the light, I realized that all my friends were present. Even Chad, Orihime, and Uryuu were seated around the table. Tessai was in the corner and Ururu was serving everyone tea. They all turned to look at me when I stepped through the doorway.

"Well look who decided to wake up," Jinta sneered from the corner. "Nice costume, Stripes." Orihime stood up and ran to me, wrapping her arms hard around my neck.

"I'm so glad you're alright!" she said, a small sob catching in her throat. "Yuroichi told us what happened!" Her concern was endearing, but her boobs were beginning to suffocate me, so I patted her on the back and softly pulled myself away.

"I'm fine," I said. Wow, this was starting to become my catchphrase.

"Of course you are," a voice said from behind me and I turned to see Rukia with a roll of paper towels. "It's not like this was the first Hollow you've ever fought." She slipped past me and kneeled at the other side of the table, dabbing the floor where someone must have spilled something. I nodded in agreement with her and sat down at the table next to Orihime.

"Yeah," I said. "It wasn't that bad."

"Oh please," Jinta said, crawling over from his spot in the corner. "You were freaking out before you changed!"

"I was not! I was just worried about you guys," I said, realizing how childish I sounded arguing with him. What could I say, Jinta just brought out the ten year old in me no matter what was happening. As he began entertaining everyone with interpretations of my facial expressions during the fight, I looked around and noticed that in fact _not _everyone was present.

"Where are Urahara and Renji?" I whispered to Orihime.

"Well, Urahara's almost done running tests from your sample and Renji's out looking for that scary tree man."

"He is? Why?" I asked. Orihime looked thoughtful and began stroking her chin.

"Well, we could all sense something was happening, so everyone met up here. Then Renji comes bursting through the door carrying you and he was yelling at Urahara about getting some answers about something, and then Urahara took a sample from you and it was going to take a while to test and Renji kept walking around and finally stomped out and it was kind of scary and-" Orihime began to digress about how one time she got angry and tried to dramatically exit a room and walked into the closed door and something about a cactus. At that point I started ignoring her. So Renji was out looking for Mikio. Not surprising after the way he reacted to him by the river. Mikio seemed to really piss Renji off more than the others, but I couldn't quite figure out why. Just then, Orihime's other words sunk in.

"Wait wait wait," I waved at her to be quiet. "What do you mean Urahara took a sample from me?" Just then, the door slid open, and Kisuke walked into the room with some papers in hand.

"A blood sample, Miss Kobayashi. I figured it was about time we started getting some answers to our questions about you."

"You took a blood sample from me? While I was unconscious?" I suddenly felt violated. Like someone had stolen my diary and posted it on the internet…or hung a pair of my underwear from the roof of the school. I shivered. The thought of Urahara stabbing me with needles while I was comatose made me more than uncomfortable. "I don't even think doctors can legally do that!"

"Well, you weren't exactly awake enough to give your consent were you?" He grinned and plopped himself down on his pillow. I glared at him. One day I would strangle this man.

"What did you find out?" Ichigo asked, taking a sip of his tea. Everyone moved slightly closer to the table and I suddenly felt exposed. But I wanted to know too, perhaps more than anyone else in the room.

"Something quite interesting actually." Urahara spread the papers out before him. "It seems our little Sayuri isn't actually half Shadow, half human like we originally thought. In fact," he paused and looked up at me, "She's not part human at all." Silence, thicker than heavy fog, descended on the room. I looked around at my friends. Some looked confused, some calculating. I, however, was completely lost.

"Excuse me?" I asked. "What does that even mean, 'not human'?"

"It means exactly that," Urahara sighed, sliding onto his side and resting his head on his hand. "Your genetic makeup holds no human DNA. Not surprising since neither of your parents were human when you were conceived." I thought about it, and realized he was right. My mother was a Soul Reaper which meant she wasn't a living human being like Ichigo. She was a spirit being, as was my father.

"But, then how am I…like this?" I motioned my hands around myself, gesturing at my obvious human appearance.

"Well, Shadows and Soul Reapers both take on the appearances of humans. So it's understandable that's what you would look like as well," Yuroichi chimed in as she leapt onto the table and began to read the papers in a creepy non-feline way.

"But other humans can see her," Rukia said.

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed. "When we're in this form, only other spirit beings can see us. So why can humans see her?" There was a murmur of agreement around the room.

"I wondered that myself," Urahara said, and began to finger through the pages until he pulled out a particularly long sheet covered in some kind of graph. "It seems that her concentration of spirit energy is…well, it's unlike anything I've seen before." He laid the chart out on the table and we all leaned forward. I didn't understand most of the numbers, but the words on labeling the chart were clear.

Along the side it read "Reiatsu Levels" and along the bottom were the past couple months, going back to when I arrived in Karakura Town. There was a steady increase every month until about September and October, when the line became almost vertical. It started rising at unbelievable rate and currently the line was reaching past the edges of the paper. I looked around at the other's faces, but they were all as dumbstruck as I was.

"This amount of spirit energy…it's…it's…," Rukia searched for words as she ran a finger over the line.

"It's unheard of," Yuroichi finished for her, licking her paws and flicking her tail back and forth as she kept her eyes on me. I could feel myself getting nervous. It couldn't be good that the only people who seemed knowledgeable about who I was were at a loss for answers.

"With these levels, shouldn't we be seeing more of an effect on everything surrounding her?" Uryuu was leaning over the chart and slid his glasses farther up his nose. His eyes were scanning the other pages as well and he picked up one particularly long sheet full of numbers I didn't understand. "How come there's no effect? People aren't losing consciousness around her. No buildings are being torn apart. Even I can't seem to detect any kind of…overload in her spirit pressure. Ichigo loses his temper and you can feel the ripples on the other side of town." Ichigo shot him a glare.

"Isn't that part of what Shadows can do?" I asked, feeling as if I needed to contribute _something_ to the argument about my personal genetic identity. "They can hide their spirit pressure can't be detected, right? Maybe that's why you can't sense it?" Uryuu frowned and shook his head. Orihime's eyebrows scrunched together in the middle of her forehead as she thought hard about everything being said.

"These levels are still insane," Uryuu said. "They're just not humanly possible."

"Isn't it obvious then?" Everyone turned to look at Urahara.

"What is?" I asked, feeling my heart beating against my rib cage. He tipped back his hat and looked straight into my eyes.

"You're not human, Sayuri. Not even close."

I was confused. I blinked a few times and was almost tempted to shake my head out a bit in case I had misheard him.

"What?" I asked. He pushed himself up into a sitting position again and leaned forward so that his elbows rested on the table.

"You're not human. Nowhere in your DNA is there a single atom that is human. You're one hundred percent spirit being."

"How's that even possible?" Ichigo asked.

"But she can be seen," Rukia said. She grabbed my arm and held it up, flapping it around a bit. "Humans can see her. Her parents, our classmates…people on the street…."

"Can you people not read charts?" Urahara scoffed. "Honestly what are they teaching you in that prison called school if not things to help you survive in the world?" He snatched up my reiatsu chart and pointed to the line traveling all the way up the white parchment and then off into the unknown. "Her spirit energy levels are so high that they've all coalesced into a solid form that even the weakest of eyes could see. Humans, with their disbelieving minds and lack of anything exciting and spiritual can see her as plainly as a bright red stop sign in front of their faces."

"That's why I didn't need a gigai, isn't it?" I asked. "I'm already in "spirit being form"." Urahara nodded.

"Well, the change of clothes is still quite interesting," Yuroichi said. She padded across the table to me and sniffed the black cloak I wore. "It seems to be an interesting take on a Soul Reaper's _." I looked down and took some of the material between my fingers.

"It's exactly what Raiu was wearing," I said, more to myself than to the cat but her feline ears picked up my words.

"Who?" I looked up and blushed a bit.

"Raiu," I stammered. I pulled my zanpakutō out from underneath my cloak. It looked like an ordinary sword, no different from Rukia's and Ichigo's and Renji's when they were all sheathed. "She told me that was her name." Everyone was staring at me. Great.

"So you've met your zanpakutō already? That was fast," Urahara chuckled.

"Is that normal?" I asked, the worry evident in my voice. The others laughed softly.

"Every zanpakutō has a physical form," Rukia told me. "It's how they communicate with us when they need to." I reached down and took the hilt of my sword in my right hand and the sheath in the other. Slowly, I pulled it out just a bit, just enough to see myself in the reflection on the blade.

"She looked exactly like me. Even her eyes were the same…." I watched my own eyes flick around in the reflection and remembered how solid Raiu's had looked. How determined and strong and sure. Mine were frightened, skittish, and weak. The complete opposite. I didn't deserve a zanpakutō. I was a Shadow, not a Soul Reaper. I shouldn't be given any more power that could be used to hurt people. I had already injured Ururu with my lightning and now I had been entrusted with an oversized kitchen knife.

"Hey!" a voice shouted in my head. "Watch the insults, girl, or next time I won't be so helpful." Looking down, I saw that my reflection had changed. The cloak I was wearing was white and the same eyes but different stared back at me. Quickly, almost before I could register it, my reflection winked at me. I felt my own eyes widen. "Just take it one step at a time, Sayuri."

The door to the room slammed open and we all looked up to see Renji step inside, panting. I felt myself let out a deep breath, as if I had been holding it this entire time, waiting for him to safely return. I mentally kicked myself.

We all spent the rest of the night listening to Renji tell us about his wild chase. He had followed Mikio around town for hours, always alternating between being able to feel the Shadow and then losing the trail completely. He was too exhausted to argue back when Ichigo called him an idiot, but did have the strength to throw his bowl of ramen at Ichigo, none to Ururu's pleasure who had just served them.

I could have sat there forever, in that room, with warm food listening to my friends bicker and tease each other. It was perfect and safe and no one was fighting or getting hurt or dying. But, as the moon rose higher in the sky, my moment of happiness grew ever shorter until it was time to go. We all said our goodbyes at the opening to the lot. Before I could leave, Rukia took hold of my wrist.

"You seemed to take everything in pretty well, considering what we found out today." She smiled softly at me, searching my face for any hint of a breakdown. I smiled weakly back at her.

"Yeah well, my life just seems to be full of surprises lately. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still kinda stuck back there at 'you're not a human', but it actually didn't shock me as much as even I thought it would. I guess a part of me always kind of knew I was different. And not just _different_ but…you know, _really different_."

"We're going to figure all this out. I promise," she said, squeezing my wrist a bit before she let go. As I watched her walk away, I waved.

"Yeah, maybe," I said quietly. Turning back to the shop I noticed Renji leaning against the doorframe, watching me. How long had he been there? _Creep._ I wanted to smile, but forced myself to look serious. I nodded at him and then walked out onto the street.

As I walked along I finally started to let the day's events sink in. I was a Soul Reaper, like my mother. I had a sword that talked to me in my head and looked like me when it decided to be a person (because _swords_ could do that). And I had sliced a monster as big as a building in half as easily as cutting through cake. The fact that all this was not raising flags in my mind _was_ unsettling. Had I become so used to being a freak that even more weirdness rolled off my back like nothing? Was I _that_ desensitized?

Or perhaps being a Soul Reaper didn't frighten me at all just because I somehow always expected it. Ever since Urahara had told me my mother was a Soul Reaper, I had begun to assume it would happen to me eventually. Maybe because it was something inherited from my mom, that's why it didn't frighten me. As much as my father was a creepy shadow monster, my mother was the opposite. She was warm and loving and nothing like him.

I thought of that man as I pulled my coat closer, flipping the collar up to block out the icy gusts of wind sweeping past me. I became fully aware of just how late it was and how dark it had gotten. The street was lined with lights, but large shadows were cast against the walls lining the sidewalks. Cautiously, I stepped into the empty road, preferring to walk the line rather than through those dark patches. Lately I just had an overbearing fear of shadows. I could hear the wind howl between the houses and something rustle behind me.

Turning around I saw nothing, just an empty street. I kept walking, unable to shake the uneasy pit in my stomach. Trying not to appear worried or panicked, I kept my face empty of emotion, but reached out with my mind. Like fingers, I felt my consciousness trail down back down the road behind me, turning over heaps of snow, searching behind trashcans and mailboxes. There was something out there. I knew it, even if I couldn't find it.

As if in response to my thoughts, a presence stirred nearby. Too late I realized it was in front of me, not behind. I slowed to a stop in the street, my eyes stretching wide in the darkness, trying to see what I could already feel. The presence began to grow larger, stronger, and more solid. My senses suddenly snapped into focus on a patch of shadow a block ahead of where I stood. As I watched and waited, I could see the blackness start to waver and morph. _This can't be good…._

The first thing I could make out in the dark was a pair of eyes. My heart faltered and a voice inside my head started screaming for me to move, to run back to the shop where it was bright and safe and there were strong people to help me. _But are they really stronger than you, _another voice in my head whispered over the fear that had suddenly taken over. _You saw the charts, you heard what they said. You could crush them if only you reached out and tried…._ That was true. I probably could crush them. I was the strongest one after all, the one with more power than every one of my friends combined. I began to feel the lightning heat in my core and it started to spread through my body. As I felt it racing through my blood, I was suddenly scared, not of what was happening but of myself. I wasn't me.

Closing off my mind, I pulled myself back to my body and instantly felt the hunger for power subside. It hadn't been me egging myself on like that. It had been fueled by something else, or someone. I clenched my fists and looked up angrily at my father's crimson eyes glowing amidst the darkness surrounding him. He was leaning against the wall, grinning, and looking at me the way a hungry dog stares down a piece of meat. It made a shiver run down my spine, but I held the anger in my eyes. _He _had been pushing me, I knew it. We had somehow connected and he had been fueling my lust for power just like he had been trying to do from the start.

Katsu began to laugh, a low sinister sound that made my skin crawl. It was cruel, as if he enjoyed toying with me like this.

"You're beginning to understand now aren't you? Just how _connected _we are?" He pushed off the wall and began walking toward me. I noticed his feet were bare under his robes, but he didn't seem to notice the frozen ground below him. For every step he took closer to me, I took one back down the street the way I had come. "It's only natural. After all, you _are_ my daughter." At this he started laughing again. I stopped walking and glared at him.

"I'm not your anything," I said quietly, but he still heard me even as far away as he was.

"Don't be fresh now, dear. It's not polite." He wagged one long, thin, white finger at me. Crossing his arms behind his back, he began to pace around like a father about to give his daughter a lecture. Except we were so far from that postcard moment it wasn't even funny. "Mikio tells me you were quite rude to him today. All he wanted was to have some fun with you."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what he wanted. You creeps set Hollows on everyone you want to play with? Whose got the bad people skills now?" I had no idea where my newfound defiance was coming from, but the idea of Katsu rooting around in my head and pushing me to think certain things really pissed me off. He sneered at me.

"Bit of a temper I see." I sneered back at him. I wasn't going to let this guy think he had any control over me whatsoever. "That's good. Why, you're practically on fire aren't you? Didn't your mother ever teach you how to treat your elders? Oh, wait," he grinned, a smile so evil I would have bet money he was the Devil himself. "She's dead, isn't she?"

"Screw you," I hissed through gritted teeth. I could feel my insides burning up again, but this time I didn't stop it. I was going to fry the smile right off this jerk's face.

"Now that's enough of this nonsense, Sayuri." He became serious, his eyes turning a darker shade of crimson. "I've had enough of these games. I've been told you've been living with a human family. That you surround yourself everyday with their pathetic kind. Shame on you. You should know better by now than to associate with a lower species. As my daughter-"

"They're my friends. And my _real_ family. I'll associate with whomever I want. And let's get one thing straight," I lowered my voice to a growl as lightning bolts flickered between my fingers. "You may have been responsible for bringing me into this world, but you are _not_ my father. We are _not_ connected in any way and never will be." I took a deep breath and held his gaze, refusing to back down. Katsu's eyes narrowed to red slits.

"You are _mine_, you ridiculous child. _I _created you. _My_ blood is in your veins, gives you life. You should be grateful to me," he spat. A dim light began to glow around the edges of his body, wavering like the edges of a flame. I knew it would come to this. I would have to fight my way out.

"Oh I am grateful," I said, enjoying the look of confusion on his face. "Because if you hadn't created me, I wouldn't be here to kill you." I raised my arm and shot a thick bolt of lightning straight for Katsu's chest, then quickly jumped atop the nearest lamppost and let loose another. Katsu merely took a step to the side to dodge my attacks. Looking up, he smiled that evil smile at me again. Reaching out his hand he called to me.

"Just come with me, child. You don't need to die. Join me, as you were meant to." My response was another lightning bolt, this time aimed right at his face. He stepped out of the way again and the smile slid off his face. "So be it."

He leapt into the air and came right towards me, faster than I could even blink. I felt him grab hold of my collar and suddenly we were falling. I lashed out my arms, beating against his chest as hard as I could. Just before we hit the ground I pulled free and quick-stepped onto the wall just behind us. I squatted there, panting and trying to think three steps ahead like I had been taught.

Katsu spun around and found me fast enough. Without a second to lose he was after me again, holding a large orange ball of fire in his palm. I had started to launch myself away when he shot it towards me. I wasn't quite quick enough and it hit the top of my left arm, searing through the fabric of my coat and cutting at my skin like thousands of tiny knives. I was thrown off balance and luckily landed in a snow drift. I shoved my arm down into the powder and waved away the steam that came back in place of the flames. Looking down, I saw a nasty red and pink burn on my arm.

"Did that hurt?" Katsu snarled at me. "Here, have another." I could feel the heat of the fire before I saw it coming. Faster than I had ever moved before, I jumped up and ran until I came to the lamppost. I put my back to it and watched Katsu come stomping after me. Waiting for the last possible moment, I kept myself pinned to the post. As Katsu's fireball came for me, I jumped to the side, shooting a bolt of lightning at him. He was too distracted by me to see that he had burned right through the base of the lamp and it was tilting towards him.

I ran back and dived past it, kicking out my foot and feeling it make contact with solid post. The light fell over quickly, and Katsu only noticed just in time to throw himself out of the way. In his moment of panic, I shot another bolt at him, and watched with pleasure as it struck him in the shoulder. He flew backwards and I began to run down the street, trying to put as much distance between us as possible while he was down. But I wasn't nearly fast enough.

I felt him grab the back of my collar, choking the air out of me. My body flew through the air and collided with the nearest street wall. The back of my head slammed into the concrete and my vision began swimming as tears came to my eyes. Suddenly he was in front of me, his pale spindly fingers grasping my throat firmly, sliding me up the wall until my feet left the ground. As I looked into his eyes I knew he was going to kill me. I could see in them all the hatred I never knew anyone could ever possess. He raised his arm and just before he could let loose another fire ball, we both froze.

Whistling was coming from around the corner. A cheery Christmas tune so out of place at the moment I could have laughed. Except for the fact that I, indeed, couldn't breathe. I stared back at Katsu, not knowing what was about to happen, when he suddenly smiled. Then he was gone. I fell to the ground but gained my footing and kept my back against the wall, not knowing where he had disappeared to.

I heard a commotion around the corner and a yelp. Katsu came stomping back through the snow, dragging a young man by his hair. The man was shouting protestations and threats to call the police, but Katsu didn't respond. He had a terrifying look on his face and I was gripped with a fear not only for my life, but the life of this man who had seriously been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"You are my daughter," Katsu spat out, shouting and pointing his free hand at me. "You _will _join me. Because that's what I created you for. You are to be the bridge between the world of the Shadows and the world of the Soul Reapers. We will replenish our numbers and I will quench my thirst at last. I've grown so thirsty after all." What was he talking about? I stared back at him, lost and confused and frightened. "It's about time you started paying me back for giving you life, Sayuri. And if you keep refusing me…well, then," his eyes slid down to the man.

"No!" I shouted, but it did no good. Hoisting him up by his hair, Katsu looked into the man's face. Suddenly his eyes began to burn like they really were on fire and he opened his mouth wide. The man began to scream but the sound was soon cut off.

A silvery blue wisp of smoke began snaking its way out of the man's mouth. Katsu, in turn, began to suck it in like a vacuum. I felt my legs collapse under me in fear and I slid down the wall, unable to take my eyes off of the man's writhing body, lifted off the ground. When it was all over, I watched as a light seemed to slowly flicker off behind the man's eyes and he went limp. Katsu dropped his body to the ground with a thud where it lay still, never to move again. He turned his eyes back to me.

"I will devour every last human in this town until you come to your senses if I have to. And soon, I'll find a way to your friends' precious Soul Society, too. Consider this the beginning of the end, child. And only you can stop it. You _will_ join me one day. Because that is who you are. That is who I made you to be."

I looked up into my father's eyes. So many emotions were swimming inside my head at that moment. Fury that he had just killed an innocent man, guilt that I had been unable to stop it, and fear. Fear of his absolute power. Fear that what he was saying was true, that I would one day fall victim to him. Fear for my friends and the people I loved. And fear of myself…that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from turning into my father, that I would become a monster like him. Fear that I couldn't be saved.

All I could do was shake my head and watch as Katsu stepped back into the shadows and disappeared piece by piece until his eyes were all that were left, glowing like embers in the darkness.


	16. Chapter 16

finally it's here! our next chapter in sayuri's journey =] now, i know the story is moving along a bit slowly, but there is method to my madness. this story is like it's own arc. i have new characters that i needed to introduce to an already established cast and put enough action between them so that their close relationships are believable. but don't you kiddies worry cause this is the last chapter before shit starts to really go down in karakura town. so sit back and enjoy cause next time, that battle of the shadows begins! r&r guys! thanks!

m

welcome new followers : mr. 96, Hunter Knight, Extreme Sarcasm, satakeuchiha, and AlimLamp!

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

**AN: I had to rewrite a few paragraphs at the beginning of this chapter. There was something I put in that should have waited until a later time, so I took it out. Sorry! Read on!**

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><p>Chapter 16<p>

_As I watched those embers glow brighter and brighter amid the darkness, I could swear I felt them searing into my very being. I began to feel hotter and hotter, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not move. My arms stuck to my sides, not budging even an inch. I felt bound, as if something had wrapped itself around my body and was holding me captive despite my best efforts to break free. The more I struggled, the hotter I became and soon I could feel sweat dripping down my body, my eyes still unable to look away from those glowing crimson orbs._

_ In a last attempt to escape, I thrashed around wildly, my legs kicking at empty air. I was spinning and spinning…and then the floor was just gone. I was falling and my ears filled with a familiar demonic laugh until-_

"Oof!" I felt myself hit the floor with a thud. My eyes shot open and I was staring at the ceiling for a few split seconds before I realized what was happening. Struggling with the sheets, I was somehow able to sit up, even though it was still wrapped around me like a strait jacket. I used my legs to help myself hop on my butt over to the window which was now open.

Wiggling a bit, I finally managed to free myself and I stood up. Holding either side of the window, I stuck my head out, letting the breeze cool the sheen of sweat that covered my face. The moon was getting fuller and its light spilled over everything. I thought I saw something moving all the way by the back wall, but the tree, even without its leaves, cast a shadow too dark to see through.

Sighing, I sank to my knees and crossed my arms on the window sill. I laid my head on my arms and breathed in the frosty winter air.

"Just another dream." I closed my eyes, wishing the cold wind would whisk me away into an imageless sleep. But when had my luck ever been that good? I hadn't slept properly in days, each night bringing with it a new nightmare. Even now Katsu's laughter replayed in my ears and I could see him sucking the life from that innocent man as if it were happening right in front of me again.

I tiredly opened my eyes. They felt heavy from lack of sleep, but I just couldn't keep them closed. Horrific moments played like movie reels over and over whenever I let my eyelids fall. I had been waking up so frequently from nightmares that my room was starting to look like a slice of Swiss cheese with all the holes I put in the walls. That was when Yuroichi had the idea to fortify my room.

When Emiko and Isamu were at work yesterday, she came in her human form and used some kind of Kidou. Afterwards, my walls shimmered a bit and the holes all filled back in, as if they had never been there in the first place. She said that this way, the walls would simply absorb my lightning rather than being shattered by it.

I looked over at the small table next to my bed and saw the fluorescent numbers on my clock. 2:38. "Ugh," I moaned. Walking over to my bed I fell forward and landed face down on my pillow. I would have to wake up in only a few hours for school but I knew that if I fell back asleep, all I would see was more nightmares. "This completely sucks."

Pulling my quilt over my head, I stared at the stitching, trying to keep my eyes open. Slowly but surely they began to get heavier and heavier until I had no energy left to hold them open. Thankfully, I slept straight through the rest of the night until my alarm woke me up. If I _did _have anymore dreams, I didn't remember them and that was fine with me.

Dragging myself to school was honestly harder than anything I had done in training so far. And sitting through my morning classes was a brand new kind of torture. Luckily it was still cold out and I could wear my long sleeved yellow sweater over my blouse. I had wrapped my arm in a bandage, successfully convincing my parents I had burnt it on an iron at work. The sweater was just bulky enough that the bandage was perfectly hidden and the cold weather made it ridiculous for anyone to even think of rolling up their sleeves.

I could feel my eyes dropping during class and every time my head fell, my whole body would jerk as I tried to sit back up. I could see Rukia repeatedly glancing at me with a nervous look in her eyes, and Renji decided it was his job to continuously poke me with his pencil to keep me awake. While it wasn't very amusing to me, he certainly thought it was hilarious. I could hear him snickering all through our classes. But I was too tired to retaliate. When the lunch bell rang I was almost too tired to get up and move.

"Come on, Sayuri," I felt someone tugging on my arm. I looked up and saw Orihime and Rukia. "We're gonna all eat together!" Orihime smiled, but behind her I could see Rukia's face tighten. _She can tell I'm exhausted. But who can't, I probably look like hell._

I walked with them over to the windows and leaned against the glass. While everyone laughed and joked and discussed plans for the holiday, I stayed quiet. I was mostly trying not to fall asleep while eating my sandwich. All I needed was to choke myself while I was unconscious. Eventually the bell rang again for classes to restart and I pushed away from the wall.

I was heading back to my seat when a student came crashing through a row of desks, trying to catch some folded paper thing his friend had just thrown. I saw him just before he crashed into my left arm and we both fell to the floor.

I wanted to scream out, I was in so much pain. My arm felt like it was on fire again, like the skin was literally melting off my arm. I bit down on my bottom lip hard and tried not to whimper. I was so focused on not crying on, I didn't really move even though my idiot classmate had gotten up. Well, he didn't really get up on his own. He was yanked off the floor by his collar by Renji and Ichigo who were shouting something about how he should be watching where he was going. A soft hand came to rest on my shoulder.

"Are you alright?" I looked into Rukia's eyes and tried as hard as I could to seem calm. I even somehow managed a small smile.

"Yeah," I said, hoping it didn't sound too stiff, "I'm fine. Just an accident, right?" She nodded and was about to take my arm to help me up. "No!" I said, more forcefully than I meant. I pulled my arm from her and used my other one to push myself to my feet. "Seriously, Rukia, I'm fine." I wiped some dust from my uniform and flashed her another smile before I headed back to my desk, not caring if she had thought me rude.

Once I had turned away from her, I cradled my bad arm in my good one. Looking up, I saw Renji staring at me as he sat back down at his desk. His eyes darted from my arm to my face then back to my arm. I began to brush my sleeve off as well, trying to seem like nothing was wrong, but I took care not to brush over my wound. Out of everyone, I definitely didn't want Renji to find out what had happened. Not only would he be angry at me for getting myself hurt, but he'd want to go out and hunt down Katsu and I just couldn't bear the thought of Renji going up against that monster. The consequences of that encounter were too horrific to even think about.

ooo

"Are you sure you'll be alright Miss Kobayashi," Tessai asked me for the eighteenth time, his brows coming together in a worried frown. "The shop is awfully big and we won't be back for a few days."

"I'm sure I'll be fine. Besides, I've got this _fearsome _warrior to keep me safe." I nodded my head towards Renji who was standing at a window looking at his reflection and picking his teeth. "I can just feel our enemies quaking in fear." Tessai chuckled and I smiled at him. He picked up his bag and headed out the door. He and Urahara were taking the kids with them to go pick up some new products in a town not too far away and had asked Renji and I and the rest of the gang to look after the place.

I felt a tug on the back of my sweater. Turning around, I found Ururu staring dolefully up at me as always. Reaching out, I pulled her to me and hugged her tightly. Her little arms wrapped around my waist and she squeezed me back.

"Watch out for that little monster, 'kay kid?" She nodded and even gave me a small smile before she picked up her bag and followed Tessai out to the van. Jinta appeared next carrying only a backpack. He used both free hands to instead pull the skin on his face every which way, making grotesque faces at me that were fully accompanied by sound effects.

Renji came to stand beside me. Looking up at him, I almost laughed out loud at the disgusted look on his face.

"That kid is strange," he said, watching Jinta now try to hoist himself into the car and make faces all at the same time.

"You don't even know the half of it," I told him.

"Alright, you two!" Urahara popped up between us. Shrieking, I jerked away from him only to collide with a shelf of boxes which proceeded to all fall on top of me. Renji laughed and Urahara grinned at me. Rolling my eyes I helped _myself_ off the floor. "You kids behave now and we'll see you in a few days!" Urahara waved as he slid out the door as well. We followed him outside and watched him jump into the passenger seat. Tessai honked the horn as the van rounded the corner out of the lot and I waved until they couldn't be seen anymore.

I walked back inside the shop and shut the door behind me, closing out the cold air. Renji was leaning against the wall reading the back of one of the boxes from the floor.

"Well, you can go ahead and get started cleaning up this mess then," he said, tossing his box on top of the pile. I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

"When did Urahara decide you were in charge?"

"He didn't. But I'm older, taller," he counted off the reasons on his fingers, "and clearly stronger, so what I say goes."

"Pff, yeah right," I scoffed, "In what delusional dimension?" Renji grinned.

"You wanna find out?" he asked, pushing up the sleeve of his button down uniform shirt he was still wearing. I rolled my eyes at him and knelt down next to the shelf.

"Nah," I said, grinning back at him, "Wouldn't wanna hurt your ego once I kick your butt."

"Just because you've been training with that creepy lightning sword girl of yours doesn't give you the right to get cocky, kid."

I threw a particularly full and lumpy box directly at his face, which he caught.

"Don't call me 'kid', _old man_." I began placing the boxes back in their places on the shelf. Renji was quiet, which was strange because he usually always had a comeback. Especially after I insulted him. Looking up, I caught his eye just before he turned away. He mumbled something about going to change and then tripped over his own feet as he walked away. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he had been staring at me. He had averted his eyes and the faintest hues of a blush had appeared on his cheeks. But I must have been imagining it. I had to.

For the rest of the day Renji and I spent our time either cleaning or helping the few customers that came through the door. I straightened up at the front, reorganizing items as well as cleaning the years (or more) worth of dust and grime off of everything while Renji cleaned the back. Once in a while when I had to restock some things from a storeroom, I'd pass him, noticing how he had changed into jeans and a t-shirt that looked like the sleeves had been ripped off.

Ever since that moment earlier when I thought he had been looking at me, I couldn't help thinking about him. So much so that every time we'd pass, I couldn't look him in the eyes. We'd both look away and go about our business and every time I wanted to smack myself. I was the queen of making awkward moments even more awkward.

As the hours wore on, I finally came to the end of my to-do list for the day. I stepped into the bathroom and put the stopper in the sink drain. Filling the bowl with cold water, I splashed some on my face just to wake myself up. I grabbed a towel and patted my skin dry, sighing the contented sigh of someone who had just finished a long day of hard work.

I reached my hand down into the water to grab the plug when I noticed something strange. I could see a reflection in the water, but it didn't look like me. A thin pale face with deep blue eyes stared back at me, all framed by raven black hair that flowed with the ripples of the water. I yanked my hand back as soon as my eyes met those of the reflection, and the second I blinked, the vision was gone. I looked around the room but I was alone. Quickly I unplugged the drain and left. Needing some fresh air, I grabbed my jacket and headed outside.

When he had finished with his work, Renji found me on the roof of the store. The night was bright and I was lying on my back, staring at the sky as tiny snowflakes began to fall. With my good arm I was reaching up and every time a flake got close enough, I'd aim and shoot a small lightning bolt at it, causing it to flash a bright blue and then evaporate in a little puff of smoke. Ever since my father had burnt me, I noticed that it was painful to cast any lightning with my left arm. This was of course a problem seeing as I wielded my zanpakutō with my right arm and couldn't use that same hand to cast lightning. Raiu had reminded me of that frequently during our training sessions in Urahara's basement. She had become my new mentor, insisting that if I was going to use her power I had better learn how it worked. She could be a bit bossy sometimes, honestly. _She's almost the total opposite of me…_

"You're getting pretty good with that stuff, huh?" Renji asked, sitting beside me on the tiles.

"Yeah. I've been working on it." I zapped another flake right above me and felt a small drop of water hit my face.

"Raiu's a pretty hard trainer. Between her and Urahara I'm surprised you're not dead yet." I let out a laugh.

"Me too. I think she's hoping she'll kill me so she can get a better person to use her."

"Wouldn't happen," Renji said, stretching out beside me. I looked at him confused, noticing that all hints of our earlier awkwardness were gone now.

"What do you mean?" He looked back at me.

"Don't you remember? Zanpakutōs are reflections of our inner beings. Raiu could never belong to someone else. She's tied to you. A part of you. You can't be separated any more than you and your lightning."

"Oh, right," I said, feeling like a child who had gotten a question wrong in class. Renji shifted a bit next to me and I stopped zapping snowflakes, letting my arm fall to my side.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. My stomach tightened. I should have known Renji would cut right to the chase. What was worse, was that I wanted to unload everything on him so badly. To tell him that I had seen my father again and what he could do…what he _had _done already. I wanted to tell him that every time I closed my eyes I saw him, huge and strong and indestructible. I wanted to tell him how afraid I was and how badly my damn arm hurt. But how could I? How could I possibly place all of those burdens on a friend, even if he was as strong as Renji was?

For some reason I was even more nervous to tell him than anyone else. I didn't want him overreacting and doing anything stupid, and I didn't want him getting angry. The thought of him being upset with me scared me too. Some weird part of me needed Renji's approval, a part I couldn't get myself to understand. How do you sum all of that up when asked the question 'how are you feeling'?

"I'm doing fine," I said. I couldn't tell him. Not this time. He was silent, and then….

"You're lying."

"What?" I sat up and looked at him. He had crossed his arms behind his head and was staring straight up at the moon. His face was completely serious.

"You're lying," he repeated. "You're exhausted. You can see it in your eyes and the way you've been training. You've got no fire lately." At those words I winced and almost instinctively placed my hand over my burn, but I stopped myself. Renji didn't know about that and it was going to stay that way. "You're still scared. Aren't you?" He turned his eyes to mine and I felt frozen. I couldn't look away from him and in that moment I seriously considered telling him everything.

Renji was a rock. As much of an idiot as he was, he was loyal and strong. Stronger than I was that's for sure. In the constantly roiling sea that had become my life he seemed to be the only piece of solid ground I could find. I remembered our talk on the window sill and how he had told me with more honesty than I had ever seen in a person that he believed in me. He had risked his life for me countless times, and here I was, paying him back by lying to his face.

"Yes." I let the word slip out. I looked away from him, furious that things had to be so complicated. I had tried not to, but Renji had this way of breaking down my walls and my resolve. He got into my head and when I looked into his eyes for too long my thoughts turned to mush and I told him the truth. What was happening to me?

"Well you don't have to be. We're all going to protect you, so you can stop worrying. Ok?" I must have looked surprised because he laughed. Sitting up, he began to sweep the light layer of snow that had accumulated on the roof together. Taking it in his hands he packed it together tightly into a ball. "So stop walking around looking so miserable, got it, kid?" Grinning at me, he softly tossed the snowball at me. It hit me in the shoulder, and I felt my throat tighten at his words.

"You better stop calling me that," I told him.

"Or what? You gonna zap me too?" I grinned back at him and gathered some snow up myself.

"Worse," I said, lobbing the snowball at his face. It hit his cheek, instantly breaking apart into a powder that the wind carried in all directions.

"Well let's hope your next throw isn't as bad as that one," he said. And with that he launched himself off the roof onto the ground below, sweeping up a handful of snow as he went. Before I could even stand up he threw it at me, knocking my legs out from under me.

"Oh you are _so_ gonna get it now," I shouted down at him. For the next hour or so we found ourselves locked in a serious battle as the snow began to fall down heavier and heavier. For the first time in months, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I was laughing like I hadn't laughed in a long time, watching Renji try to twist and turn out of the way of snowballs. I almost doubled over when he slipped on some ice and his snowball flew up into the air, then landed on his face. But, like all good things in my life, it wouldn't last long.

Renji was winding up when I realized he had picked up snow from a particularly icy section of the yard. _This is gonna hurt_. I watched as the ball came flying towards me and instinctively put my arms up, covering my face. I began to turn away, but my timing was too far off. The ball collided with my left arm in the exact spot that I had been burned. A searing pain ripped through my body again, radiating from the wound, and I was caught so off guard that a scream escaped my lips. I fell to my knees cradling my arm, too lost in the pain to realize that I had just given myself away.

Running over to me, Renji skidded to a stop right beside me, asking if I was ok.

"I'm fine," I said through gritted teeth. Ah hell, who was I kidding? I didn't look or sound fine even to myself and definitely not to Renji. I looked at him and could tell that he knew. He knew I was hurt and that it wasn't because of some ice ball. He grabbed my wrist and pulled my arm in front of him. I knew he was going to pull up my sleeve and I started struggling, trying to twist myself out of his grip. But that only made him hold on tighter. With one hand, he held my arm in a vice grip and with the other he began rolling my sleeve up towards my elbow.

He was pulling my arm so hard that my body was pressed up against the side of his. I was pushing on him, and beating on his shoulder, begging him to stop and let me go, but he ignored me. Once he had pushed up my sleeve, I felt his body go rigid as he saw the bandages I had wrapped around my arm. He started to slowly unravel them and I beat on him even harder, fearing what would happen when he saw the burn.

I felt the cold air roll over my bare skin and saw the bandages fall to the ground. Renji was still, just staring at my arm. It was even redder than I remembered. Bruised and blistered along the edges, my burn was as raw as it was the day I got it.

"I burnt myself on the kettle this morning, Renji. Honestly it's not a big deal! It was just an accident and I-"

"You saw him. Didn't you." What should have been a question came out of his mouth like a statement. He knew what this burn was from, and it wasn't a kettle.

"Renji, I-"

"Come on," he growled, pulling me to my feet. He kept hold of my wrist and began to drag me inside. I didn't know what to do or what to say. Nothing would calm him down now. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid. He brought me to the back room and pushed me onto a pillow at the table. After rummaging through a cabinet, he came back with clean bandages and some weird can of ointment I had never heard of. Next, he brought over a cloth he had just run under the faucet in the sink. Stomping over, he sat down next to me and pulled my arm in front of him again.

"Ouch, Renji! That hurts!" I punched his shoulder but he didn't even seem to notice.

"Why did you lie to me?" He kept my arm pinned to the table and his eyes on the burn, not once stopping what he was doing.

"I didn't lie to you," I said, squirming as he dabbed at my burn with the wet cloth. The coolness of it felt good, but I wasn't about to say that. "I just didn't tell you everything. I didn't think it was important."

"Not important?" Renji's voice got louder and he snapped his head around to face me. "You call Katsu trying to kill you not important?"

"He didn't try to kill me! That was Mikio!" I shouted back.

"Don't." Renji shook his head and closed his eyes. "Don't defend him. They're one in the same."

"I'm not defending him! I would never defend _him_ or _any_ of them! God, you know what," I yanked my arm away from him and stood up. "This is why I didn't tell you! Because I knew you'd freak out like this!" Renji was still seated, his eyes burning as he glared at me. "I didn't go looking for him or anything! He found me and I was alone and it wasn't like I could run back here for anyone's help! And by the way, I managed to get him pretty good too because, yeah, contrary to popular opinion, I _can_ actually _defend_ myself!"

I was so angry, my palms were starting to get dangerously hot. I knew I needed to calm down but all of a sudden, words were pouring out of me before I could stop them and I no longer care how badly my arm hurt.

"Do you know what it's like?" I asked him, realizing that somewhere inside me a dam had broken and the words were just gushing out. "Going my entire life thinking I'm one person to find out it was all a lie? To suddenly be able to do things that shouldn't be possible? Or how about seeing that monster's face every single night when I close my eyes? Hearing him tell me how one day I'm going to become just like him? No, of course you don't! None of you do! No one understands what living with something like that is like…or the nightmares it brings. And I can't even remember what happened that makes me hate him so much! Does it really surprise you that I'm exhausted, Renji!? Is it that hard to realize that I'm terrified? I'm sure it shows!"

My chest was heaving and I could feel myself shaking. I had never shouted at anyone like that before in my life. I wanted so badly just to make him understand and see and feel everything that I could so that he could know. I felt like I was going crazy, constantly looking over my shoulder and fearing one day I would just wake up an evil psychopath like Katsu.

I stood there staring at Renji, wishing he would say something. But all he did was reach out and take my hand. Softly he pulled it back towards him. Suddenly, all my strength seemed to run out. I had nothing left and so I just sat back down onto the pillow and let him place my arm on the table where he began rubbing the contents of the jar on it. Instantly I felt a cooling sensation and then numbness. For the first time in days the pain was gone. He slowly and carefully wrapped the clean bandages around my arm, all the roughness from earlier gone from his hands. It was like he was wrapping glass now. When he was done, he kept his hand around my wrist.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Turning to face me, I suddenly realized just how close we were sitting. Our faces inches away, I found myself staring into his unyielding golden eyes, full of regret and sorrow. "You're absolutely right. I don't know anything about what that's all like. But it's not because I'm not interested, you know. You're so caught up in dealing with everything yourself and proving to everyone that you can defend yourself. Everyone here wants to help you, don't you realize that? We've all decided to protect you. Everyone has. Even me. So stop shutting us out, Sayuri." I felt a thrill go down my spine as he said my name.

Although he wasn't gripping my arm like I was about to be blown away, Renji kept me seated at the table with just his eyes. He placed his hand over mine and I felt a warm blush creep its way up my neck.

"We can help if you let us in," he whispered. There was no Jinta here this time to barge in and shatter the moment. As far as I knew, no one was coming any time soon. It was just us. But I didn't want the moment to end. I was shocked. Renji was right. Everyone knew I could fight and that I was strong. They didn't need me to prove anything to them. What they needed was my trust. I had grown up learning that you shouldn't depend on anyone because they could let you down at any time. But how was that a good way to live? How was it better not to rely on others and not to feel love and friendship? How was it better to live like my father…and my mother? Look how they had both ended up….Was I going to follow in their footsteps as a daughter should?

I turned my hand palm up and wrapped my fingers around Renji's. He looked down, surprised, then back at me. I nodded.

"Will you help me, Renji? Will you help me kick that fire breathing freak's ass back to whatever dimension he came from?" He grinned. In that moment I felt a warmth in me that had nothing to do with my lightning and everything to do with that man's smile.

But neither of us could hear the dripping faucet just down the hall. Neither of us could see the reflection in the water of a body that wasn't there. Neither of us could hear her laughter. This moment was merely the calm before the storm, and no one could have predicted what was going to come after it ended. The war was only just beginning.


	17. Chapter 17

i won't even try to make ammends for my serious lack of updating because i know none of you can probably stomach them at this point. but things have been hectic with school and work, but i finally managed to complete the next chapter. next 2 chapters actually. 17 and 18 started out as one huge chapter but i didn't like how it flowed all together so i separated it =] so now you get two brand spankin new chapters to read because i love you all sooooooo much

but like always R&R pleeeeeeeeeeease! i wanna know what you think even if its just "yes" lol enjoy!

shout outs to the newbies: xpaperlovex, Annnnnnnnja, 3, derpdederpders1, NIGHTANGEL21, XxLeopardPrintxX, ammercado190, animefreakv23, the beast, fanfictionlovewriter809, and Random Chick

^thank y'all for the reviews, favorites, alerts, and everything else you clicked =]

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

* * *

><p>Chapter 17<p>

"Well, in my defense, I had no idea that was his wife," Emiko said, straightening her skirt out over her legs. Isamu glanced at her, an actual expression of surprise on his usually stoic face. "She's gotten so…well, plump! She was barely recognizable!" Emiko threw her hands up in frustration and I couldn't help but laugh. I had never heard her speak in such a way about anyone before, and I never expected it to be so comical. She acted so much like a child sometimes you could almost forget about the gray streaks in her hair and the wrinkles around her eyes.

We were on our way home from the annual Ume Blossom Banquet. It was held by the Floral Society, a large network of botanists, florists, scientists and other vegetation lovers from all over Japan. Emiko and Isamu had belonged to it for years and had to practically drag me with them. They couldn't wait to introduce me to all their friends and while I was honored that my presence gave them such happiness, I hated having so many eyes on me at one time.

"You do realize that you called her a cow," I leaned forward from the back seat. "To her face." Emiko moaned.

"That was a slip of the tongue! I didn't mean to, you know…say it _out loud_!" Isamu and I began to laugh. I had always known Emiko was a pistol, but seeing her interacting with her peers earlier was something else entirely. She was like the finale of a fireworks show; she just kept exploding all over the place with energy. Isamu and I had always told her she had to think before she spoke, but Emiko's mind moved too quickly for a filter.

As I leaned back into the seat, a gleam caught my eye. The gold bangles on Emiko's wrist clinked together and brilliantly reflected the setting sun. Without thinking I reached up and traced a finger along the delicate golden chain encircling _my_ neck, coming to rest on a thin horizontal lightning bolt that sat against my skin.

Blushing a bit, I thought back to the night it was given to me. It was a few days before Christmas and I had just left the Urahara Shop. All my friends and I had gathered there for a celebration since everyone had plans later that week. It was a fun night of food, being together, and betting on whether Tessai, Urahara, or Renji could drink the most sake without passing out.

I was on my way home when I was stopped in the yard by Renji who, after stumbling over to me, became very nervous and started shuffling his feet. When I asked him what was wrong, he pulled a small box out of his coat pocket and thrust it at me. Inside was a thin gold necklace with a lightning bolt charm.

When I lived in Hidori, my mother never had a steady job; she was always jumping around from grocery store to boutique to florist. We never really had money to buy each other gifts for holidays, but my mother had always taught me that each day was a gift and I was a happy enough kid that I didn't need presents. Just spending time together became our gifts, because I certainly knew that there were some kids who lived every day without parents at all. But suddenly, like everything else that had changed since I came to Karakura Town, here was a carefully wrapped box with a bow shoved in my face. Literally.

As Emiko and Isamu chattered in the front seat, or rather Emiko chattered at Isamu, I got lost in my thoughts of Renji. It was beginning to become a frequent, and annoying, habit. My face began to heat up as I thought of that night under the snow when Renji had given me the necklace.

_"I saw it and it reminded me of you, that's all,"_ he had said. I couldn't tell if he was blushing from embarrassment or the sake, but his cheeks were tinted pink. So was the tip of his nose. The car suddenly felt very small and warm, and I needed to get out. We were driving over the bridge that spanned the Karasu River, a body of water that ran through the western part of town, and as soon as we touched down on land again I asked Isamu to pull over.

"Everything alright, hun?" Emiko asked, turning around to face me as I pulled on my jacket.

"Everything's fine," I said, reassuring them both with a smile that probably looked as fake as it felt. "I just feel like going for a walk by the river, that's all." Emiko smiled back, but I could see a twinge of suspicion in her eyes. As soon as Isamu pulled up next to the sidewalk, I opened the door and stepped down onto the pavement. Before I shut the door, I stuck my head back inside. "I won't be too long, I promise!"

As they drove away, I waved, wondering if they had noticed how far away I had been lately. _They probably think they've done something wrong…_. I'd have to be sure to let them know that wasn't the case when I got home. I let out a sigh. Walking over to the wall that lined this side of the bridge, I found a spot where it began to slant lower and lower into the ground. Leaning against the stone, I began to slip off my heels, relishing in the freedom my poor feet felt. It was safe to say I wasn't really one for dressing up. In my past experiences I have found that dresses only slowed you down, so I tried to avoid wearing them.

However, the banquet meant a lot to Emiko and Isamu, and Emiko was so excited to take me shopping for something to wear that she nearly jumped out of the moving car when we pulled up outside a boutique in town the day before. There really was no possible way I could have refused her.

I swung my legs over the wall and jumped down to the grassy, sloping hill below that led down to the river. The air was crisp and the ground was still hard from winter's brutal winds, but it felt good to be enveloped in the breeze. The pale green dress I wore under my jacket swirled a bit in the breeze and a lock of hair slipped out of the clip holding some of it back off my face. Reaching up, I pulled it out, letting all the tendrils loose to fly wherever they wanted.

Carefully, I made my way down to the riverbank. The sun was lowering in the sky, changing the clouds to a light pink. The color reflected off the water and I stopped to watch the ripples of pink, orange, and blue flow to the shore before disappearing. I walked to the edge of the water and knelt down to look at my reflection. For a moment it was my face that swam before me, but then as a ripple flowed by, the image changed.

Where my face should have been, another's looked back at me. A woman's face, with long black hair that seemed endless and that flowed with the water. She grinned evilly at me and I stumbled back. Blinking a few times, I rubbed my eyes a bit, wondering what had just happened. Slowly, I crawled back to the edge of the water. Taking a deep breath, I began to cautiously lean forward, inch by inch. As soon as my eyes peeked over the edge, I let out the air my lungs had been holding. My face was staring back at me, bewildered yet relieved at the same time.

_I've seen that face before,_ I thought, sitting back on my heels. Several times, actually. All starting with that one night at the Urahara Shop months ago…. I reached forward and was about to stick my hand in the water to see if anything was beneath the surface when something further down the bank caught my attention.

Standing up, I brushed off my dress and grabbed my shoes off the ground where I had dropped them. Renji was sitting at the edge of the water. "_Stop it_," I said to myself, trying to ignore the small skip my heart felt as I realized it was him. His legs were stretched out before him and he was leaning back on his hands. I walked over to him, watching as he stared out over the water and wondering what he could be thinking about. On its own, my hand reached for the lightning bolt charm around my neck.

As I approached him, he made no attempt to even acknowledge my presence, so I simply sat down next to him, tucking the skirt of my dress under me as I did.

"You'll get your dress dirty," he said as I settled down.

"A little dirt never killed anyone. Besides, Emiko just bought that new washing detergent with 'extra strength'. I'm sure she'd be happy to fight some stains." I stretched out my legs and leaned back on my hands, copying him. Tilting my head back, I closed my eyes and let the cold breeze wash over my skin.

"Aren't you cold?" Renji asked. I opened one eye and saw that he was finally looking at me.

"Aren't you," I asked back. He was wearing jeans and tan work boots which could be warm enough, but he only wore a green, sleeveless, puffy vest over his long sleeved white Henley shirt. There was no way he was warm enough. But, neither was I. We were just too stubborn to admit it to each other.

"I didn't think you were a 'dress' type of girl," Renji said, chuckling a bit. Crossing my arms across my chest I turned away from him, annoyed at the way he was making fun of me.

"I'm not. I did it for Emiko."

"Sure, sure, princess," Renji laughed again.

"Maybe you don't really know what kind of a girl I am after all," I spat at him, realizing I sounded like the child he was always referring to me as. Renji was silent. No laughing, no teasing. Nothing. I fought the urge to turn around and look at him and was just about to break when I heard him speak.

"I guess I don't." He said the words so quietly I couldn't help but face him. He looked troubled, his eyebrows arching down and towards each other, his forehead wrinkling in contemplation. I looked into his eyes which seemed far away, and were again gazing out at the water and wondered what was making him act so weird.

"You okay?" I asked. Again, he didn't react, but he did speak.

"There's a river like this back home," he gestured toward the water. "Well, not really 'home' but, where I grew up."

"In the Soul Society?" I asked. Renji nodded.

"Why not 'home'?" A dark look crossed his face at my question.

"When you're an orphan living on the streets of one of the poorest districts with no promise of food, shelter, or protection, you can't really call it home." I didn't say anything. I had no idea Renji had been an orphan. Guess we weren't so different after all. "I was alone as far back as I can remember," he continued, laying down onto his back and crossing his arms behind his head. A particularly cold gust of wind flew past us and I pulled my knees to my chest.

"That's horrible," I said, trying to ignore the spasm of pain I felt inside as my mother's face came to mind.

"It actually wasn't. A lot of kids didn't have parents so we all lived together in abandoned houses. We took care of each other like a family does, we protected each other. That's where I met Rukia."

"You've known each other that long?" Renji nodded. "Do you miss it?" I asked without thinking.

"No." There was no hesitation in his voice at all and he answered so quickly I knew it was the truth. "I don't miss it one bit. But I _do_ miss the way things used to be. Back then it was so simple." I nodded, understanding. Renji came to the river to get away from things because it reminded him of his past, before he became a Soul Reaper. After experiencing the powers for myself, I could understand what a burden it could place on a person. To wield that much power, to be able to see the things we see, to know the absolute existence of an afterlife that continues just like the existence we lead already…and to hold responsibility for so many lives, it could all drive you crazy if you didn't somehow keep yourself in check.

I stood up and walked to the edge of the water, felling the earth beginning to give beneath my feet, a sign that spring was on its way. After listening to Renji talk about the river and the past, I was flooded with memories of my own past. Of summers spent by the river that ran through Hidori, of the warm sun and the screaming children running through the streets knowing nothing of pain and loss and reality, only the small blissfully ignorant worlds they lived in.

While it wasn't the warmest day, it wasn't the coldest either, so I slowly inched my feet into the shallows on the bank of the river. The water was cold, but felt good on my feet that were still sore from walking around all day in the torture devices fashion experts called "high heels". The sand was soft under the flow of the water, and instantly covered my feet.

As I stood there, I could feel myself sliding deeper into the sand and it becoming harder to pull my feet back out. It was almost as if the sand was pulling me down into the water. My struggle to extract myself apparently became distracting enough for Renji to sit up and pay attention.

"What are you doing?"

"I can't get out," I told him, giving one particularly hard tug on my leg and setting myself off balance. I wobbled back and forth a bit before falling forward into the water. My knees hit the sand and the bottom half of my dress was instantly soaked. "Oh, come on!" I could hear Renji chuckling smugly behind me and reminded myself to smack him when I got out of the water. I could hear him get up and felt his hands take hold of my arms and pull. But I didn't budge this time. He helped me to at least stand straight up and then stepped back.

"What did you do?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"I didn't _do_ anything," I snapped at him. I bent down and tried digging through the sand that was covering my feet. At first I thought I was making progress, but then, with every handful, more sand began to settle on top of me and soon it was beginning to reach up leg. Frantically, I tried brushing it away, suddenly conscious of a small voice in my subconscious and a bad feeling in my gut. _This isn't normal. This isn't good. Get out of the water. Something's here._

"Easy there, we'll get you out," Renji said, still unaware of the sinister change in the atmosphere. I ignored him, wondering if I should try using quick step to get out. Maybe the spirit energy behind that ability would be enough to wrench me out of the sand. Before I could even try however, two columns of sand shot straight up and enveloped my arms, dragging them down below the surface as well. I was trapped, on all fours, and unable to free myself. Needless to say, the panic started to set in.

"Renji!" I said, my voice rising in pitch and urgency, "Get me out of the water! Get me out!" I was thrashing around and the fear in my voice must have snapped Renji out of his cockiness because he came to kneel in front of me in the shallow water.

"Relax, relax! I'll get you out I promise." I shook my head. He still didn't get it.

"Something's here," I whispered to him, finally realizing what I was feeling. That ripple beneath my consciousness, the darting in and out of recognition. "A Shadow." Renji's face became serious.

The ground shook a bit and then stopped. We both watched as several ripples of water scurried past us to disappear against the shore. Then, the ground shook again. And again. And again. And harder. And harder. The water was beginning to become choppy. Small waves started crashing right where we were fumbling around. I kept getting hit head on and couldn't even wipe the water out of my eyes to focus on what I was doing. I tried wiping my face off on my shoulder but it was no use, my jacket was drenched with the rest of my body.

The more Renji and I struggled, the more violent the waves became until suddenly…

"Whoa!" I watched as a particularly nasty wave collided with Renji's body and sent him flying back onto the shore.

"Renji!" I pulled even harder against the sand, wondering if I should try to let some lightning loose to free myself. Looking down, I gasped in surprise. That face was looking back at me again, grinning from ear to ear and shaking with silent laughter. I could feel my eyes widen as I suddenly recognized the woman I had been seeing. She had been with my father when I first met him at the Urahara Shop.

"I'm fine!" Renji called from behind me.

"Stay back." I could hear Renji begin to question my command when a cold laugh floated through the air. Not taking my eyes off the woman in the water, I saw her mouth move and knew it was her voice we heard.

"Are you sure about that, dear? It seems you need a big strong man to help you out of this predicament," she drawled. I could hear splashing behind me as Renji lumbered forward. The sudden disturbance caused the woman's face to vanish, replaced by Renji's reflection. He was wearing his shihakushō, and Zabimaru was unsheathed and in his hands. "Let Sayuri go! And come out and fight us where we can see you, you coward!" He pointed Zabimaru down at the surface of the water, and the woman laughed again.

"If you insist, boy." The sky suddenly became dark. Looking up, I watched as dark clouds started to swirl together, casting shadows on everything below. The water too became even rougher and I started to fear I was going to drown when suddenly, the sand that was holding me prisoner retreated. Standing up quickly, I watched as the water swirled and thrashed like during a storm. Renji grabbed my arm and we started backing up slowly until we were on the grass again.

A whirlpool had begun out in the center of the river, and with each second a column of water was rising higher and higher toward the stormy sky. At the top, a figure emerged. It was a young woman, with long black hair. She wore a blue circlet around her forehead that matched her dress. A beautiful gown, it sat off her shoulders and was secured around her waist by a white sash tied in a large bow at her back. The skirt of her dress seemed to twist around her, fading into the water itself. She was beautiful, even if she _had _tried to drown me.

"Is this better? Of course, seeing me won't do you much good. You're just puny little ants compared to me," she said. Even her voice flowed like water and sounded as pretty as she looked, but Renji didn't notice or didn't care.

He charged at the column of water, his feet skimming the top of the river as if it were solid ground. I watched as he launched himself forward and Zabimaru split into its usual sections. It sliced through the air and through the water column, but came out just the same on the other side. He had done no damage at all. The water simply absorbed his attack, and Renji stood there dumbfounded.

"Renji, look out!" I screamed as a large stream of water shot out from one side of the woman's column. It smacked right into Renji's chest and pushed him back the way he had come. Suddenly, another sprouted from the column and crashed into him so hard, he was launched into the air. But the woman wasn't done yet. I watched in horror as the first watery stream wound up and then swatted Renji like he was a fly back onto the ground at the shore of the river.

I ran over to where he landed. Kneeling down, I grabbed two handfuls of his robes and pulled hard to roll him from his stomach to his back. His eyes were closed and I instantly feared the worst. Leaning over him, I placed my ear next to his mouth that was slightly agape. The second I felt warm air wash over my skin, I let out the deep breath I had been holding. I let my head fall forward until my forehead was resting against Renji's chest.

"Idiot," I whispered, and I felt his chest heave a bit, as if he was laughing. Slowly, he sat up.

"Looks like it won't be so easy taking her down," he muttered. "Hey, you," he turned his head and called to someone behind us. I turned also and watched as an exact replica of Renji came running toward us: his gigai, now inhabited by a mod soul. "Take Sayuri and get her away from here." The mod soul reached down and grabbed my arm, but I shoved him back, hard.

"No way!" I shouted. "I'm not going anywhere!"

"I need to know you're safe before I can fight her," Renji said, a tone of annoyance in his voice.

"It's not your fight to begin with," I said quietly. Renji looked at me from where he was sitting and said nothing. I kept my face serious, and I made myself keep eye contact with him so he knew I was serious. There was no way I was going to let him get his ass kicked by this chick just to feed his stupid ego. And there _was_ truth in what I said…the Shadows _were_ after me to begin with….

"You're so annoying, you know that?" Renji grumbled, standing up. "Well, maybe if we both come at her we can find her weak point. Then we'll have her," he said, massaging the back of his neck.

"We could try…but I don't know if just chopping at the water will do anything. Your zanpakutō went right through it," I told him, thinking back to his attack. Renji looked up at the swirling mass of water. Suddenly, he grinned.

"Fine. Then we go after _her_. Distract her for me, and I'll get in there and-"

"Save the day? Aye aye, captain," I mocked, rolling my eyes and saluting him. "Just don't get your ass handed to you, got it?" Renji flash stepped and was gone, probably to a more hidden vantage point nearby. I closed my eyes and focused on gathering my spirit energy in the core of my body. I could feel it heat up and then spread to my arms and legs. Closing my eyes, I held onto that ball of energy and light until my whole body felt charged. Then, when I felt full to the brim, I released it.


	18. Chapter 18

and as i promised, think of this as part 2 of the battle with water! enjoy!

disclaimer: i do not own bleach or any of its characters or locations mentioned in the manga or anime. i just own this story line and the OCs

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><p>Chapter 18<p>

A wave of pressure and light erupted from my body and flowed outward. My arms suddenly felt bare, a breeze whipping past them, and the damp skirt that had been blowing around my knees suddenly changed to tight white pants that disappeared into knee high black boots. My hair ceased billowing around my face as my hood come to rest over my head, and fabric covered my mouth and nose.

I opened my eyes and saw that my body was levitating as it transformed, and when the light finally subsided I slowly floated down and felt my feet touch the ground. Reaching to the sheath hanging at my waist, I felt Raiu's hilt and gripped it tightly.

"Alright, Renji," I said, pulling my zanpakutō from my side and pointing it towards the column of water. "We'll try it your way. I'll give you an opening, so make sure you get there."

"Where did your friend go, dear? You'll need as much help as you can get if you're going to fight me," the woman drawled. Man she was annoying.

I crouched low, digging my feet into the ground. Surging forward, I gripped Raiu with both hands, knowing I'd land a more solid hit that way. But before I could even make it halfway across the river, a thin stream of water sprouted from the surface below and rocketed towards me. I rolled over, midair, losing my balance and causing myself to swerve in another direction. A laugh sounded in the air all around me. Clenching my jaw, I threw myself towards the enemy yet again. This time, three streams came at me, like liquid snakes tearing through the air. I swung my zanpakutō and cut through one of them.

"Yes!" I cheered as it broke apart and fell back to earth in huge droplets.

"Counting your eggs a bit too early, dear," the voice drawled, and something collided with my shoulder painfully. I fell backwards and began to tumble over and over, until something grabbed my ankle. It whipped me back and forth to the point where I thought my neck would snap. Then, suddenly, it let go and I was launched toward the ground. Unable to slow myself down, I knew I was going to crash, and prepared myself.

When the impact came it wasn't as painful as I thought, but still hurt. My elbows began to burn as I skidded several feet and finally came to a stop. Dust flew into the air and I squinted, trying to see through it.

"Hey!" Renji shouted from somewhere. "You're supposed to be a distraction! Not getting your ass kicked!"

"Oh shut up," I mumbled, getting to my feet. I had to get to that main water column but how could I do that with this lady's stupid water stream things trying to attack me? How was I going to get Renji his opening? As if she could hear my frustration, her laugh sounded again. As the dust settled, I saw our attacker

"You two are just utterly pathetic, yet so entertaining to watch." She reached one hand up over her mouth and chuckled some more. It was covered by sleeves that fell well past her fingertips. The fabric flowed in the wind just as the water did beneath her. I had an idea. _She seems vain enough, maybe if I could just keep her talking…._

"Who are you?" I asked. _Might as well start somewhere. _She scoffed at me.

"Not very smart are you? Pity…you don't even have beauty to make up for it." Rolling my eyes I figured I'd play to her ego.

"Easy there, prom queen," I said, crossing my arms, "It was just a question."

"Well, lucky for you I'm feeling quite forgiving today. So, I can overlook stupidity I suppose. My name is Ren, Maiden of the Deep." A part of me could feel movement nearby. _At least Renji got the idea._ If I could keep this she-idiot focused on me, maybe he could come at her from behind and take her down.

"Okay, 'Maiden of the Deep', why have you been following me? Mikio too. What do you want from me?"

"Naturally, we are just acting on the orders of our king," she said, grinning.

"Your king?"

"Yes, you poor dumb girl. The King of Shadows, Lord Katsu himself has decided that you are to be his new conquest." I should have known. Of course he'd make himself a king, his arrogance wouldn't allow for anything lower. "And we, as his loyal servants, have been carrying out his orders to learn about you, as boring and dull as it has been."

"What does he want to know about me?" He had certainly missed the whole father daughter bonding chance, so what could he possibly want?

"Do you think I care?" Ren crossed her arms and scowled at me. "When my King grants me a task, I carry it out. I don't waste time asking for his reasoning."

"If you're only supposed to be watching me, why did you attack me?" I asked, honestly curious now. "Wouldn't he be angry that you disobeyed him?" Maybe she was stupid and hadn't realized that could be the result of her actions, I thought hopefully.

"Because your father has grown tired of waiting, as I'm sure he has told you. He's asked us to procure you for him and to persuade you to come join the Legion of Shadows," she said, a pale hand emerging from her sleeve to run its fingers through her hair proudly.

"Why couldn't he come and get me himself?" I thought back to the night he cornered me on my way home. He had me pinned to a wall, easily holding the power to crush me or take me prisoner if he wanted, so why didn't he? Did he really think I'd come to him on my own? Have I not been making my extreme hatred for him clear enough? I mean, I didn't want him to try and get me himself but it didn't make any sense.

"Because, he's resting," she snapped at me. "This town is filled with spiritual pressure but it's tainted with the taste of Soul Reapers. Lord Katsu has not yet gained the ability to devour the souls of those awful creatures. But once he's taken what he needs from you, he will gain limitless strength and no one will be able to deny him!"

"So I didn't dream it," I whispered to myself, feeling a cold horror in the pit of my stomach. "He really did suck that guy's soul out…."

"Just as when shadows touch they combine to create an even larger mass of darkness, so too does our King thrive on absorbing the spiritual energy from other beings. That is how he feeds. And _you_, you disrespectful, ungrateful urchin, are depriving him of his sustenance. So I've come to drag you back by your hair if I must. It pains me to see him so hungry." As Ren pouted, I noticed a black shape approaching the back of her column. _Here we go_.

"Well, you'll just have to tell him how sorry I am that I couldn't make it to the feast." I pushed off the ground, using flash step as I ran across the water. Instantly, those pesky spouts of water flew towards me, but this time I was ready. I jumped and landed on the head of one just as it would have hit me. Swinging my zanpakutō, I sliced it in half then jumped into the air as it shattered. As I was flying upward, I could see two coming at me from opposite directions.

Holding onto Raiu tightly, I stopped in midair and began to spin my body faster and faster. The two streams reached me and were cut to shreds. Droplets hit my face and I grinned. I could keep up with her and her stupid pets.

"Getting a little slow there, are we?" I asked, turning to face Ren. She was scowling at me, but as I watched her eyes, they suddenly widened. She whipped around and threw her hand out to the side. Five streams suddenly erupted from the surface of the water and swirled around each other until they formed one large stream of water.

"Renji!" I screamed, throwing myself forward, but I wasn't fast enough. The water beam hit Renji from behind and sent him reeling through the air. I pushed myself as hard as I could to get to him before he hit the ground. It was close, but I wrapped my arms around his head, holding him close to me and turning us so that I hit the ground first. Even though I slowed the impact down, when we landed Renji was ripped from me and we both went crashing and skidding along the grass.

Winded and in pain, I tried to push myself off the ground. My arms were rubbed raw, and speckled with small rocks that were stuck in my skin. Brushing them off carefully, I winced. Renji shifted a bit nearby and I suddenly forgot my pain. Dragging myself over to him a second time, I was afraid of what condition I would find him in.

His face was in pain, that was clear enough, and there was a small trickle of blood coming out of his mouth. His leg was bent at an odd angle and one of his arms clutched at his stomach.

"Damnit Renji, look at you," I whispered. My stomach twisted up painfully, and I froze. Seeing him like this, so vulnerable and broken, frightened me. I was afraid he'd shatter at my touch and that was so _unlike_ Renji. He was strong and dependable and in charge, as much as I hated to admit it. But there was no way he'd be able to even move let alone fight again like this. _Looks like I'll have to be in charge for now, then._

"Oh, did I break your boyfriend? Terribly sorry," Ren sneered from her perch over the river. "He didn't seem to be very smart anyway. You're better off."

"Shut up!" I screamed, feeling the blush cover my entire face at the fact that she called Renji my boyfriend. Something grabbed my wrist and I looked down. Renji had one eye open, squinting at me, and the other was squeezed shut in pain.

"Sayuri," he whispered hoarsely. "Just go get the others. I'll be fine." He grunted in pain. Part of me was moved that he would sacrifice himself for my sake, but another part wished he were more intact so I could hit him for being so stupid.

"You think I'm just going to leave you here? You're an idiot," I snapped at him. Even through the pain that was evident in the shaking of his body, Renji grinned at me. Despite myself, I smiled back. Reaching out, I brushed a long loose strand of red hair back off his face.

"So touching," Ren's voice called out. "It's disgusting, really." Turning around, I saw her jerk her hand forward and another stream of water appeared from the column. It headed straight for Renji and I, but as it got closer, I noticed that it got slower; my senses were speeding up as a result of my training. What should I do? If I used my zanpakutō, I wouldn't even put a dent in Ren's attack. Renji and I both would get washed away.

_"Then use something else," _a voice echoed in my head. _"You have more than one ability at your disposal after all." _

Raiu. She was right. I had my lightning. But could it be that simple? I was staring down at my hands when Renji shifted anxiously. Looking up, I noticed the water stream had come much closer and I had only seconds to make a decision. Although I had sworn I wouldn't call upon my Shadow powers again, I had no other choice.

Flinging myself on top of Renji's limp body, I raised my left hand, palm forward. As soon as the stream of water was about to hit us, I shot a bolt of lightning straight at the center of it. I watched as the stream split in half, fizzling out on either side of where Renji and I lay on the ground. The sound of an electric surge filled the air and Ren shouted out in anger or pain, or perhaps both.

"That's it," I whispered, my hand still raised before me. "Water conducts electricity."

"So?" Renji grunted from underneath me. I sat back on my heels and grinned at him.

"_So,_ all we need to do is throw a toaster in the river and she'll fry up."

"Let me guess, you're the toaster," Renji grinned back. I picked up my zanpakutō from the ground and put it back in the sheath at my waist. Standing up, I faced the river realizing it was time to end this and get Renji to Orihime before he punctured something trying to sit up. My hands balled into fists and I waded out into the water. It was freezing, but I had more important things to focus on.

Ren had retreated into her water column after I had evaporated her water stream, so perhaps she was too distracted to realize I was coming. Once I walked far enough that the water reached my waist, I took one look back and Renji and then dove under. At first I couldn't see much, but after my eyes got used to the water, things cleared up a bit. I could make out weeds along the floor of the river, and schools of fish farther off, keeping their distance from the commotion. Oddly enough, with the setting sunlight streaming down, it was a very peaceful place. It was quiet and calm, unlike the storm raging above the surface.

Remembering what was happening up there snapped me out of my reverie. I spun around a bit until I noticed movement farther off. Swimming towards it, I was beginning to make out what looked like a cyclone under water. _That's got to be Ren's water column,_ I thought. I swam back up to the surface to take a fresh gulp of air and make sure I was definitely going in the right direction.

"Ok, Sayuri," I said aloud to myself as I steadied my breathing. "What's the plan?"

"_Fry the bitch," _Raiu hissed from somewhere inside me. I grinned.

"Works for me." Taking a deep breath, I dove back down into the depths of the river. I tried to get as close to the floor as possible, thinking maybe Ren wouldn't be able to detect me all the way down there. Wrong.

As soon as I started heading for the column, several water streams snaked their way silently towards me under the water. Closing my eyes, I felt that familiar heat form in the core of my being and allowed it to spread through my body all the way to my fingertips. With both hands, I shot thin bolts of lightning that sliced every stream into pieces, just as I had done before.

_"Time for the finale," _Raiu said. I stopped swimming and just floated. Turning my hands so that my palms faced each other, I gathered a great deal of energy between them. It felt so warm in the freezing water I was almost tempted to stay there.

_"Now!"_ With as much force as I could muster, on Raiu's signal I turned both hands to face the column and released the energy I was holding. I watched as the glowing white hot ball shot through the water and hit the base of the column. I swam back to the surface in time to watch as streaks of lightning climbed all the way to the top, high above the water.

Suddenly, there was a great hissing sound, and before my eyes the water began to evaporate into mist. I watched as Ren's body fell and was swallowed by the now raging waters of the river. Waves were beginning to crash into me, and it was all I could do to stay afloat and not get dragged under. I tried to swim my way back to the shore but with every stroke, it seemed like I was drawn farther away. As one particularly large wave crashed down, I rolled over and over and over, until I hit something solid and was dragged along for a ways. Finally I stopped and the water receded. I was back on the grass along the riverbanks.

Spitting out some water and coughing a bit, I pushed myself off my stomach and looked around. Everything nearby was completely soaked. I searched frantically for Renji until I noticed him much further back from where I left him. He must have dragged himself there. _At least he's safe,_ I thought, which was more than I could say for myself. As soon as I stood up I felt something wrap itself around my ankle.

"Not so fast, darling." I looked behind me to see Ren dragging herself out of the shallows of the water. Her outfit was in pristine condition, as if the water had no effect on it, but her face was murderous.

"_I guess she doesn't like getting knocked down," _Raiu said, her voice like acid. I could almost hear the grin in her tone.

"Well then, I'll be sure to make sure she's much closer to the ground the next time I cut her down," I hissed back, a bit surprised at the venom in my own voice as well. Before Ren could yank my feet from beneath me, I flipped over to my back and stretched my legs straight up towards the sky. I shot lightning at the wriggling stream of water, and it vaporized instantly, nothing but mist. Ren screamed in rage.

"That is _enough_!" I hopped onto my feet from my back and watched as she pulled two cylinders made of silver from the folds of her kimono. They were hollowed out inside. Ren's eyes suddenly began to glow and from inside the cylinders came streams of water. They formed two identical whips that she cracked against the ground.

"I agree," I said, allowing the power within myself to heat me up and spread to my hands. Bolts of lightning sprang up there as well, white hot and solid. They no longer flickered like they had when I had first gotten my abilities, wavering along with the confidence I had in myself. This time, they throbbed like little heartbeats, full of life and energy and ready to strike where I willed them. If I couldn't fight Ren with my zanpakutō, I would have to rely on my lightning, a thought that made me nervous since I hadn't done so since before I had hurt Ururu.

_"You can do it," _Raiu whispered in my ear, her voice fizzing like a power surge. _"It's time to accept that you're cut out for this."_ I saw movement flash out of the corner of my eye. Stepping only a few inches to the side, Ren's water stream shot past me and sputtered out. I turned around and fixed my eyes on the woman standing in the river shallows. Behind me I could hear Renji's labored breathing and knew I needed to get him out of here. Feeling the heat growing on its own in my hand, I knew I could take Ren down I just needed to find an opening.

"It's time to teach you some respect. I'll drag you back to Lord Katsu by your hair if I have to," Ren spat at me from behind gritted teeth. I smiled at her.

"Good luck with that," I told her, and she screamed. More water streams than I could count suddenly erupted from the surface of the river and came hurtling toward me. Using flash step I managed to dodge the first couple before I felt something wrap around my ankle and then my wrist. I was lifted into the air and thrown several feet back from the edge of the water. Managing to get my feet underneath me, I grabbed Raiu from my waist and used her blade to deflect several streams. The force they used to hit me certainly pushed me back and I felt myself trip over something large and squishy.

"Ow!"

"Shit! Renji!" I sat up on my knees and bent over him. He looked even worse than before and his eyes were wide as they watched something behind me. Spinning around I saw three large water streams poised a few feet from us.

"Well, if you won't come with me, maybe hearing your boyfriend's bones break one by one will convince you." She grinned at me, a terrifying and lopsided grin that hinted at her loss of sanity. I was aggravating her and that was good. She would make a mistake soon. Before I could think of a smartassed response, one of the streams shot forward. In a panic, I reached out and felt my hand close over the water as if it were a solid thing. Ren gasped and her eyes widened.

"I don't think so," I growled, feeling the anger inside me boiling over. The lightning bolts on my hands shot down the stream of water all the way back to the river where they exploded in a series of large sparks and smoke. There was an unpleasant frying sound mixed with a high pitched screaming I realized was coming from Ren. I watched, feeling an increasing sense of power, as her body twisted and strained as the water around her acted as the perfect conductor for my electricity.

I could tell I was releasing an insane amount of spirit energy, but I didn't care. It felt incredible the way the bolts just slid from my fingers with the tiniest twitch…and I would have lost myself in that euphoria had a hand not grabbed my arm.

"Let it go, Sayuri," Renji gasped, barely audible over the cacophony on the river. With a struggle, I pulled myself back into my body, crushing my spirit energy back down into a concentrated ball and bringing back my lightning.

At the edge of the water, I watched as Ren's body collapsed in on itself and melted into a puddle. Her kimono lay damp and lifeless beside it, the only sign she had ever been there as the surface of the river smoothed itself out again and the clouds in the sky cleared.

It took me a moment to process the fact that she was dead. When I had grabbed onto her water stream, there had been an odd moment where I felt connected to her. It was as if I had reached inside her mind, and was actually there in her consciousness. I could have reached out and touched the part of her that held her powers and her long forgotten humanity. It had been so tempting just to stay there as I was deep frying her, feeling the rush of her spirit energy leaving her body. I had felt inclined to just reach out and take it, but then Renji had pulled me back to reality. Renji….

I looked down and saw that he was watching me carefully. The corner of his mouth twitched and I thought he was about to smile at me, when his face scrunched up in pain and he began coughing up blood.

"Hmm, looks to me like you should get him to a doctor pronto, sweet cheeks," a voice drawled from nearby. Renji groaned, and I felt my stomach clench tightly, a sudden chill running down my spine that had nothing to do with the fact that I had been swimming in the river in March just a short while ago.

The air in front of me wavered, and Mikio stepped out of thin air. Literally.

"Stay back," I warned, crouching over Renji and pointing my zanpakutō straight at Mikio's chest. He held up his hands in surrender and laughed. I felt a thrill of rage at the sound, and something poked at my mind. I had heard him laugh like that before, like a child laughing at a fly just before he pulls of its wings.

"Easy there, princess. I'm not here to tangle with you. Although I'd love to have a go at that sometime," he winked at me and I felt my skin crawl.

"Then get lost," Renji snarled. I could see the strain on his face as he pushed himself into a sitting position. He used his good arm to grab me and pull me back behind him. I was about to protest but then I saw the look on his face. There was an anger there that kept me from saying anything.

"Down boy," Mikio stretched and crossed his arms behind his head. "It was just a suggestion. She doesn't have to answer now."

"What do you want," I said, rolling my eyes and feeling the need to gag at his vulgarity.

"Nothing at all really," he sighed as if he were bored. "I just came to watch the show. And I have to say," he fixed his eyes on Renji, his eyebrows furrowing in mock anger, "I was very disappointed with your performance today. I mean, if you can't even keep yourself from getting torn apart, what makes you think you can protect the little princess here?" Renji clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes. He kept one hand firmly wrapped around my arm, holding me back. "I would have done a far better job, if it had been me," suddenly Mikio was gone. I felt the air shift behind me and turned, feeling long, cool fingers catch my chin.

Mikio tilted my head back so that I was looking into his dark brown eyes.

"I wouldn't have let a single scratch defile this innocent face." I felt my throat constrict at the heaviness his eyes took on. His face was so close to mine, I could feel the heat of his breath. I froze, suddenly incapable of moving. Mikio's eyes held mine in a steady gaze until they flicked beyond me for the slightest moment and then vanished. Steel flashed before me and I jerked back as Zabimaru pierced the ground where the tree man had just been crouching.

I looked at Renji and blanched under his glare. It was as if his eyes held fire in them. His grip on my arm tightened painfully.

"This is boring," Mikio spoke from nearby, "It's not fun taunting you when you can't really fight back. I guess I should go, seeing as there's nothing else of use here." He looked disgustedly toward Ren's remains. "There's not even anything to bring back to Lord Katsu."

"What would he do with a dead body?" I asked, realizing how stupid a question it was immediately after it left my lips.

"He would feed from it of course," Mikio answered, a dark shadow suddenly crossing his face. "Lord Katsu has the ability to absorb the energy from other weaker souls, as I am sure you know by now. If he had absorbed Ren's soul, he could have taken on her power over the element of water. But alas, all is lost." My heart constricted at the thought of my father becoming even more powerful, or gaining abilities that would allow him to wreak more havoc than he already had. "Well, love birds, until next time," Mikio blew me a kiss and then vanished completely, his spiritual pressure diminishing until I couldn't sense it at all.

"Next time?" I said aloud. Renji's hand started shaking where it gripped my arm and I looked at him. "You look horrible," I said and he made a noise that was probably supposed to be a laugh.

"Shut up," was all he managed. I looked around and noticed a tuft of bright red hair in the distance.

"Hey! You! Get over here and help!" I shouted, and Renji's gigai, still inhabited by the mod soul stood up from behind a small grouping of rocks. He sprinted over to us and together we lifted Renji off the ground, his arms draped over us. As we started moving, I noticed him wincing and suddenly feared he wouldn't make it all the way back to Urahara's. It must have been clearly written on my face because he looked down and me and smiled.

"Don't worry. Soul Reapers are tough. My body's already started healing a bit. Walking will be a bitch but I'll suck it up." For a moment I was in awe of Renji. His strength and determination were certainly commendable, but they were so often laced with arrogance and stupidity it made them harder to recognize sometimes. I nodded in understanding and focused on getting my footing right so that we could make it up the back to the street.

"By the way," Renji said, looking straight ahead, "Your dress looked nice." I blushed and kept my head down, not sure why those words sent a thrill down my spine. Despite myself, I smiled.


	19. Chapter 19

You guys are literally the best readers any author could ever ask for. The fact that I still got reviews even though I've been away for such a long time almost made me want to cry. You've waited so patiently while I got my life after college in order and for that I am eternally grateful.

It was mentioned in a review that the story was beginning to get too serious. I understand that things are not as nonchalant as the beginning, and that everyone spends less time fooling around and goofing off. But the reality is that's just how the story is going right now. Sayuri _is_ stuck in the pit of "daddy issues". She's being labeled as a monster because of who she is and that is something she needs to come to terms with. She's also at war within herself to figure out who she really is. It's a serious time for her and my writing will reflect that. So while I know some of you miss the goofy days, hang on through the dark ones. Stick with Sayuri! She needs backup and support so she doesn't become her father! Help me save her by sending her your love! There will be a time when, I promise, you will all have literally nothing but goofy fun days back, but I won't get into that juuuust yet. For now, enjoy, and thank you for the criticism and comments! You guys rock 3

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Disclaimer: I do not own bleach or any of its characters/locations/etc. I only own this plotline and the OCs.

Thanks for the follows/alerts/favorites: shikaboo, silentnightDW, FangirlFTW, missymoo11, Salmones, Buzooka Zooka, Candy908, SaiKaiya01

And thank you to random chick who sent me a review tonight that really kicked my ass into gear and got me to finish this chapter for you =] peace girl 3

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><p>Chapter 19<p>

"Ugh," Jinta let out yet another sigh. I rolled my eyes, about ready to push him off his spot on top of the dryer where we were stacking the folded laundry. "What's the point to this anyway? We're just gonna unfold everything eventually," he complained, sticking a pair of boxers on his head and moving on to one of Urahara's shirts.

"Because the rest of us are civilized human beings," I said, snatching the boxers from him and folding them. "We like to neatly put clean clothes into this big box that actually _keeps _them clean called a dresser." Jinta groaned and threw himself on top of the clothes pile. I yanked a pink dress out from under him before it could get too wrinkled. Ururu did not like wrinkles, I remembered smiling to myself.

"Why isn't pineapple head helping with all this?" Jinta's whine came out muffled, his face buried.

"He's busy, you know that," I said. Biting my lip, I couldn't help but think that Jinta was a bit right.

Renji had recently been given some kind of serious surveillance job from his bosses in the Soul Society that we weren't allowed to know about. Apparently he was being trusted to keep an eye on a "potentially dangerous threat", or at least that's what Urahara told us when we asked. He was rarely around to help out in the store recently, which meant that I had to drag Jinta and Ururu around every time Urahara needed something done. I could have handled Ururu, she was the queen of comfortable silences. But Jinta…it would have been better if I walked around hitting myself over the head with a rock. I went home every day with a headache. The few times Renji _was_ around, he always seemed distant and distracted. His face looked tired and drawn but every time I asked if he was alright, he'd just shrug and insist he was fine.

"He's being such a jerk ever since he got that new job. What's he supposed to be watching anyway," Jinta threw off the clothes Ururu had begun piling on top of his buried head. He growled at her, bearing his tiny teeth, only a few of which had fallen out. Ururu just stared back at him before she went back to folding clothes. Sometimes I forgot just how young they both were. I spent so much time with them I often got into the habit of saying more than I should. They might be children, but they were far from innocent, already seeing more bloodshed and evil in this world than I ever had. Lately, I felt a strong urge to keep them from all the evil of my reality. I wanted to keep the, safe, so I had started to choose my words very carefully around them, not wanting to give away too much.

"I don't really care. It's his business," I threw another pair of boxers at Jinta. "Let him do his job, and in the meantime, you do yours. Start folding." Jinta stuck his tongue out at me and I rolled my eyes at him. Just then, Tessai called the kids out to the front room.

Jinta sprang off the top of the dryer, throwing folded clothes everywhere. I threw the undershirt I was working on up in exasperation, not caring about wrinkles anymore. I was just about to follow them out of the room when a familiar face appeared in the doorway.

"Ichigo!" My orange haired friend smiled down at me. He ruffled my hair a bit.

"Need some help?" he asked, nodding to the mess that looked like the dryer had exploded. I grinned back at him sheepishly, and nodded. He laughed and bent down to pick up the clothes closest to him. For a little while we folded in a comfortable silence, spotted with some remarks about the weather and school and our friends. It wasn't until Ichigo started shifting from one foot to the other that I realized he kept glancing over at me.

"What's up?" I asked him. He averted his eyes, trying to cover up his behavior. Which of course, only made it more obvious. I put down the black shihakushō I was folding that was probably Renji's. I gave Ichigo a look and he shrugged, realizing it was pointless pretending he didn't have something he wanted to say.

"I was just trying to figure out if you meant what you said."

"About what?" I asked, picking up the shihakushō again.

"Renji. And not caring where he is." I stopped folding and froze. "I mean, you've been moping around all week."

"I have not-" Ichigo gave me a look and I knew there was no point in arguing, "-been moping," I finished weakly. Ichigo grinned.

"Yes you have. You barely eat lunch anymore. You just stare out the window when he's not around." I blushed hard realizing how ridiculous I must have looked. Seeing my face redden, Ichigo laughed. "It's no big deal. You two have gotten pretty close since you got here right?"

"No. Well, kinda," I stuttered. "He's just been gone a lot and the chores pile up around here. It's annoying." I turned my face away, feeling like it was going to melt off.

It was true that Renji and I had been spending a great deal of time together. Between training me and working in the shop and being my classmate at school, I would see him almost every day, even weekends. His sudden absence from almost every one of those moments felt wrong. No rolled eyes. No forehead flicks. No shoves with his shoulder. It wasn't until he was gone that I started to realize just what his presence meant to me. How important he was and how I missed the way his golden eyes softened around the corners when he would look at me.

Shaking my head, I tried to rid myself of the flurry of butterflies wreaking havoc all over my insides. I focused on folding Renji's roves when a flash of something caught my eye. Turning the material over in my hands, I picked up the sleeve to find a stain of hardened yellow paint. There was a small trail of dots and a larger stain on the back as well. I picked at it a bit, thinking that I knew the color and trying to figure out where it was from.

A thought stirred in my mind that stopped the butterflies dead in their tracks. A memory from a few weeks back.

Although I had gotten a better grip on my lightning abilities since Raiu started training with me, there were still moments of vulnerability when I lost control. These moments mostly came when I was dreaming. I would lash out at invisible horrors and bolts of lightning would ricochet around my room before absorbing into the force field Yuroichi had put in place. Even though the bolts could not break through the walls, they still left their marks in scratches or missing chunks of paint all over. Finally, one weekend when Emiko and Isamu were super busy at their shop, I made my way to the hardware store to buy another can of _Summer Dandelion_. I managed to paint over each section that was messed up so that, unless you looked really hard, you could barely tell anything had happened.

That particular night, I remembered having a very nasty nightmare which ended, as per usual, with me letting loose a couple bolts. The force was enough to knock me out of bed, and as I hit the floor, something else did on the other side of the room as well. While I struggled with my sheets, out of the corner of my eye I could see something black and red shoot by and out the window. It was gone by the time I freed myself and ran over to take a look, but I could have sworn I heard a familiar voice utter a few choice words as my lightning bounced around the room.

I picked at the yellow paint some more, remembering how I had found a patch on the wall right next to my door where the paint had been rubbed off. I wracked my brain, trying to remember if I had brushed against it, but none of my clothes were stained.

I gripped the shihakushō tightly and walked out of the room, ignoring Ichigo's shouts behind me. I pulled open each sliding door down the hallway, looking for Urahara. Finally, not finding him relaxing in any of the back rooms, I heard his drawling voice from the front of the store.

Sliding open the last door I found him leaning against a shelf, sweet talking a pretty girl who giggled ridiculously at him. As I entered the room, she took notice of me while Urahara seemed to be trying to ignore my presence. I stood there on the top step, the robes still in my hand and just stared at him. The girl shifted uncomfortably and her eyes repeatedly moved between us. Once Urahara realized he no longer had her full attention, he lifted his eyes to wear I was standing and fixed me with an annoyed expression.

"Sayuri, is there something you need? I'm with a customer right now," he said, winking at the girl who giggled again.

"Where is he?" I asked quietly. Urahara glanced down at the robes in my hand and then turned back to the girl who glanced at me nervously.

"I'm clearly trying to help someone right now Sayuri, you should wait-"

"Where," I repeated again, my voice growing a bit louder and impatient, "is he, Kisuke?" Urahara turned and looked at me with steely eyes. He was angry and I could feel a slight pressure emanating from him, thinning the air in the room.

"Mr. Urahara, if you please, in front of our customers," he chuckled, gesturing toward the girl who muttered something about coming back later and headed for the door. Urahara watched her go and as soon as the front door slid shut he spun around. "Now she's gone! Are you happy?"

"I know you know," I said, not letting my eyes leave his. "This 'job' he has all of a sudden. This 'threat' he's supposed to be watching and tailing and monitoring. I know you know what it is, so just answer my question." Urahara laughed trying to brush me off.

"The Soul Society doesn't include me in secret missions anymore," he waved his hand in front of his face.

"Fine. Don't tell me where he is. But at least tell me if it has anything to do with this," I held out the shihakushō, yellow paint up. By this time I had started walking across the room towards Kisuke. Tessai, Jinta, Ururu, and Ichigo had all come into the room and were watching silently behind me.

"Well I would hope that while Renji is doing whatever he's been asked to he's wearing something. That would certainly make things awkward if he didn't," Urahara chuckled, brushing me off again.

"The paint. On the sleeve. _Summer Dandelion_ to be exact. You wanna know how I know that? Because it's the name on the paint cans still sitting in my room. The name of the paint that's now on my walls. Paint that was smudged a few weeks ago when something brushed against it while it was still wet." Urahara stared at me with cold steely eyes.

"Sayuri, the Soul Society is in place to protect the worlds from dangerous beings-"

"Dangerous beings?" I interrupted. "I am _not_ dangerous." I heard Jinta scoff behind me and mutter something about Ururu under his breath. My face flushed.

"No one said he was watching you, Sayuri." I hated the tone Urahara was using, like he was talking to a child getting upset over nothing. I walked up to him and shoved the shihakushō into his arms.

"No one had to," I said through gritted teeth.

"Come on Sayuri, Renji's our friend. He was only doing his jo-" Ichigo started to say, stepping down into the center of the room. I glared at him and he stopped. _So_, I thought, _Ichigo knows too?_ Looking around at their faces I saw the same expression. Pity.

"Friend? Friends don't lie to each other." I turned and walked out of the store, slamming the door shut behind me.

As I walked I felt a lump in my throat, but I would not allow myself to cry. I could not tell if I was more upset over the realization that they all knew what Renji was doing except me, or that they thought I was a threat. I made my way out to the main sidewalk a few blocks away, pushing through crowds of people out shopping. I muttered a few apologies and kept going, not really caring if they heard me. I was not sure where I wanted to so, so I just kept walking, staring down at my feet as I scuffed them along the pavement.

After a while I looked up, worried I had gotten myself lost, when I recognized where I was. Up ahead I could see a familiar flower vase sitting at the base of a telephone pole. In it were the few umi blossom clippings I had brought back from the banquet and placed there a few weeks ago. As I got closer I could hear someone humming and around the corner I caught a glimpse of a small pink shoe.

I crouched down by the vase and gently touched one of the umi blossoms. The petals were still soft and pink, even though they had been picked a while ago.

"Someone's been taking _very_ good care of these," I said aloud, watching the shoe disappear, only to show up again right beside me along with the rest of a body. Rikku smiled down at me, her big green eyes bright with excitement. "Was it you?" I asked, smiling back at her. Despite being dead, she was always in a good mood, and it rubbed off on me no matter how I was feeling.

Rikku shook her head and her pigtails flapped into her face.

"Was it….Ichigo?" I guessed, reaching out to tug on one of the pigtails playfully. She shook her head again, still grinning. "Jinta or Ururu?" Another negative. I looked at her confused. Who else knew about her being here?

"It was your friend with the spiky _red_ hair. The boy!" I felt the smile slide off my face. "He's really nice! He brings me flowers sometimes too!" Well that was news. I had always assumed the extra little flowers I'd find in the vase or scattered around it were from Ichigo or Ururu. I had no idea Renji had been stopping here. "He said that he wanted to hear more about you. So he stops by and asks me things." I felt anger flare up inside my stomach and fought to keep it down. _He dragged Rikku into this stupid job? I'm gonna kill him…._

"What things does he ask you, Rikku?" She shrugged.

"Just what you do when you come see me and what we talk about." She noticed my stony face and her voice began to falter. "I'm sorry. Was that bad?" I sighed, reminding myself it was not her I was upset with.

"No, it wasn't bad. Just…don't talk to Renji anymore when he comes by ok?" She nodded. Standing up, I walked over to the street wall and leaned back against it. I let my body slide down until I was sitting on the pavement. I shook my head and pulled my knees up to my chin.

"Are you ok?"

"I don't know anymore, Rikku. Things have gotten so complicated. Every time I think I've taken a step forward, it turns out I've taken two back. Renji's pissed me off, my friends think I'm dangerous. And on top of that, my psychotic Shadow-lord father is creeping around just waiting to pounce." I buried my face in my arms.

A small hand touched my shoulder, and I felt Rikku sit down next to me. To any passerby it would seem like I was alone on that corner, but I could feel the small girl's body as if it were physically there. She wasn't just a spirit to me.

"I'm not afraid of you, ya know," she whispered.

"Maybe you should be," I answered, my voice muffled from under my arms. "I've already hurt Ururu."

"You won't hurt me," she said, her voice so sure, so unwavering, as if that truth was written in the stars for her. I turned my head to look at her. She was sitting with her head back against the wall, her face tilted towards the sun. She closed her eyes, as if she could still feel the warmth of its rays against her skin, and smiled. "You're not evil. And you won't ever be. It's just not who you are." I raised my eyebrows at her dubiously.

"How can you know that?"

"When you're dead, some things just make a lot more sense to you than they did when you were alive. Spirits can tell if someone is good or bad." She opened her eyes and turned them on me, suddenly very serious. I looked back at her, feeling her energy mingle with mine as she stretched out to every corner of my being, as if she was looking for something within me. "There's good energy inside you. And there's bad energy there too. But everyone is like that. They have a little of both. There's even energy you don't know about yet." _Since when did this kid start talking like a spirit guide of some kind?_

I stared at Rikku, wondering how it was possible for so young a person to understand so much about the mysteries that lay hidden within.

"How do you know all that?" I asked. She shrugged, looking like the young happy-go-lucky child she usually was and smiling at me.

"It's easy to understand other people. It's hard to understand ourselves because sometimes there are things we're afraid to face head on." I stared at Rikku, wondering how so young a person was able to speak with such wisdom. Before I could say anything, a howl tore through the calm spring air.

I stood up. Closing my eyes, I sunk back to the place in my mind where spirit energy became ribbons. I sought out the mangled black material that formed from a Hollow's existence. Latching onto it, I could feel its power course through me. _It's a pretty big one, _a familiar crackly voice whispered in my ear.

"Nothing we can't handle," I said with a grin. I focused on that small center of energy inside me, just like Raiu taught me. I imagined a circle that started growing bigger and bigger as I felt my power surge through my body. As soon as it got big enough, I dove into it. Feeling a slight breeze against my skin, I opened my eyes to find familiar singed black robes blowing around my legs. Rikku smiled up at me.

"See?" she said. "Bad guys don't fight monsters." She held my hand and squeezed it. I squeezed back and smiled.

"You're right. If you say I'm a good guy then I must be." I bent down and kissed her soft forehead. Winking, I pulled my hood over my head, and the rest of the fabric up over my mouth and nose so only my eyes could be seen. "Ready, Raiu?" I felt her affirmative response as a heaviness appeared at my waist. My zanpakutō materialized, sheath and all. "Good. Let's go." I shot upwards and landed on a nearby roof before I waved at Rikku. Then, flash stepping all the way, I ran towards the Hollow.

ooo

I made quick work of the Hollow, barely even working up a sweat.

"Well, Raiu," I said aloud, knowing she could hear me, "Looks like all this training is starting to pay off, huh?"

_Don't get too cocky,_ she fizzled in my ear. _I'm the one doing all the heavy lifting_. I laughed and put her back in the sheath. A streetlight nearby flickered on and I noticed the sun was beginning to set.

"Crap. All my stuff is back at the store," I muttered, realizing I would have to go back. I had been planning on not seeing anyone for a few days, but clearly that wasn't going to happen.

As I walked back into the yard at the Urahara Shop, the front door was open, and voices could be heard from inside. I had changed back to my "human form" although calling it that seemed kind of weird, and slipped my shoes off just before entering. No one was in the front room, and I found my bag hanging right on the hook like it always was. I could hear Urahara speaking, but the voice that responded was unfamiliar. I moved closer to the door that opened to the back room. Just as I got to it, I stepped on the squeaky board and the door slid open.

Urahara smiled down at me. I looked past him to see the visitor. A small boy sat at the table, sipping from a tea cup. He had spiky silver hair and bright turquoise eyes like I had never seen before. He couldn't have been much older than twelve.

"Ah Sayuri," Urahara said, sounding a bit surprised. "Come on in." I stepped into the room, eyeing the boy nervously. He was wearing a long white cloak and there was something about him that seemed very official, even for a kid. "This is Toshiro Histugaya, captain of squad 10."

"Squad 10?" I asked. "Like, the squads in the Soul Society?" Urahara nodded. I tried to stifle a laugh but it escaped. The boy glared at me even harder. "I'm sorry, but you're just a kid, aren't you? How are you a captain, Toshiro?"

"I get that a lot. And it's _Captain Hitsugaya_." He extended a hand towards and empty pillow. "Please take a seat."

"Oh, that's alright. I was actually just here for my bag." I held it up as evidence, but _Captain Hitsugaya_ kept his hand outstretched. I looked from him to Urahara, who was avoiding my eyes. Something was off. The air suddenly felt very thick and it was as if a huge weight was pressing down on my shoulders, forcing my knees to buckle and my body to land on the pillow.

"So glad you could stay," the captain smirked. My hands clenched into fists under the table. I didn't know who this kid was or where he thought he was, but he was in for a rude awakening if he thought his little trick was funny. "The data sheets, Kisuke." Urahara sat down beside me with a serious look on his face. He pulled a roll of paper from inside his sleeve and handed it across the table to the captain.

As Hitsugaya began scanning the sheets, I caught a glimpse of some of the words on them: power progress, reiatsu levels, locations visited, observed actions. _Weird._ But the weirdest part was that on top of each page in large letters were the words "Shadow 05 Reports".

_Shadow 05? Could that be me?_

"If you can't already tell Miss Kobayashi, I've been sent by the Soul Society to monitor the current situation in Karakura Town." Captain Histugaya's cold eyes never left the reports.

"Situation?" I asked.

"Shadows," Urahara interjected, "You must understand, Sayuri, haven't existed in any world for thousands of years. Not here, the Soul Society, Hueco Mundo where the Hollows reside, or any of the in between planes. For the past few years, colonies of them have suddenly begun appearing again. Their abilities are low, but their presence was still enough to catch the attention of the Soul Society."

Hitsugaya cleared his throat and shuffled through a few more pages before continuing Urahara's explanation. "Shadows have caused problems in the past. They were convinced they were created to rule over the worlds and tried to force the humans into submission. They were wiped out before that could happen." I felt my eyes widen. My mouth was dry. Wiped out? But then how…

"Shadows can be created from human souls, so it was only a matter of time before they returned. We are mostly interested in the reports of only a few of them who possess considerably higher levels of spirit energy and abilities, particularly over the elements. There are five of them that we have discovered so far."

I counted off in my head. _Well, there's Katsu of course. And Ren, but she's gone now. Mikio is three, and there was that other man who I haven't seen since that first time. And me._ As if reading my mind, Hitsugaya continued.

"You might be surprised to learn that the Shadow that worries most of the captains, is not your father, but you." I looked at him incredulously.

"Me!? You've got to be kidding…. How exactly are they worrying about me?" I could feel a flare of anger in the pit of my stomach. Who did this kid think he was anyway?

"You are the only Shadow that has released immense amounts of spiritual energy. We received the reports from a date about a month ago."

"Yeah, that was when I fought Ren. She's one of the other Shadows and she was completely crazy, I had no choice! Renji got badly hurt, I couldn't just do nothing-"

"Despite that, the levels you emitted almost caused serious damage to the border between our worlds. It spent us up until today to repair the tears you created." Hitsugaya still didn't look at me, and I felt the anger inside me spreading to the rest of my body.

"So you would rather I didn't save Renji's life?"

"Renji Abarai is a trained Soul Reaper who is highly skilled at taking out enemy spirit beings. He would have been fine-"

"Are you crazy!? His damn leg was broken, and a couple ribs! I wasn't going to just leave him there!"

"Sayuri!" Urahara hissed, reaching over and placing a hand on my arm. "Please, calm down. The captain is only explaining-"

"No!" I ripped my arm away from Urahara. "He's being an ass." ?" I ripped the reports out of Hitsugaya's hands, wanting him to look at me instead of acting like I was hardly worth his time. "I want _the captain_ to understand that I help people. On a daily basis, in case he hasn't noticed the number of Hollows walking around down here. I don't hurt people with my powers. I've seen what Katsu can do and it was horrifying. You're wasting your time on me."

"Your father was human once," Histugaya said, sounding bored. "To err is in a human's nature, as is the desire for power. We don't know you. Why you're here. Who you really are or what you're truly capable of. We don't know if one day, you will crave the same power your father does and join him."

The lights in the room began to flicker. I could feel my hair rising as the electricity in the air heightened. It was taking every ounce of my self-control to stop myself from throwing Hitsugaya through the wall to the lot outside.

"How dare you," I hissed through gritted teeth. "How dare you even think that would happen."

"We don't know if it will, that's the whole point. Therefore, we will continue keeping a close watch over you." One of my arms began to rise, on its own or by my willing I had no idea at that moment. But, suddenly, Kisuke was grabbing me and pushing me out the door.

"You need to calm down, Sayuri, please!" he begged quietly. "They're only monitoring you for now; they'll leave in the future! Just let it go!" I let him steer me out to the front room where we ran into a confused looking Renji.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking from my frizzy hair and angry face to Urahara's desperately pleading one.

"In here, Lieutenant," the captain called. Renji looked around us, surprised. He shot straight up, his back as stiff as a board.

"Of course, Captain Hitsugaya, sir." He walked into the back room and slid the door shut. Kisuke stayed with me and loosened his hold on my arm, apparently figuring no one was in immediate danger of being fried any longer.

"Lieutenant?" I asked him.

"Renji's the lieutenant of Squad 6. He's second in command." It would have been one thing if they had sent any old Soul Reaper to watch me. But I wasn't stupid. I knew having someone of Renji's rank on the job meant they were serious about monitoring me. I wouldn't be able to wash the floors anymore without them thinking I was going to try and drown anyone nearby with the soap bucket. And my little display of aggression in there probably didn't help my case.

Seconds passed, then minutes, as we tried to listen to the hushed conversation inside the back room. When they were finally done and the door opened, the captain exited first. Urahara walked with him to the front door. I didn't even get a goodbye, which was fine with me. Renji exited next and walked slowly until he was standing before me. I stared hard at his face, waiting for an explanation, but he simply stared at the ground. After a few moments I couldn't stand the silence and spoke up.

"So you've been spying on me?" Renji picked his head up and looked at me, exasperated.

"They're my _orders_, Sayuri. I _have_ to follow them."

"Of course you do," I spat back. "Because you're just one of their soldiers. The almighty Soul Reapers," I said, waving my hands in the air.

"You're one too," Renji said, taking a step towards me. I stepped back.

"But I'm not really, am I? Not fully at least. Because I'm something else, too. A monster." Renji rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Sayuri," he said, trying to get me to listen, but I was on a roll.

"That's what they think! Would it help if I just chained myself in the basement so I don't go around terrorizing the village at night? You wouldn't want me making off with your women, babies, and livestock would you?" My voice was rising and I was getting angry all over again. That ball of heat in the pit of my stomach was burning up. I started walking to the back room to grab my bag that was sitting under the table.

"That's ridiculous-" Renji tried to interrupt me.

"It is not! That's all I am to you all, isn't it?" I was yelling now. "Just some kind of dangerous animal."

"No, you're wrong-"

"Am I? Because where I see myself getting more powerful to be able to help protect more people, your precious Soul Society sees it as a means for me to grab my father's power and continue his legacy." As I scooped up my bag, I saw Renji's stained robe lying on top of a stack on pillows. I grabbed it and took it to the front room with me. Standing on the raised part of the floor I still wasn't taller than Renji. I still had to look up at him.

"So what have you told them already Renji?" I asked, throwing his robe at him. "How unstable I am? How I have daddy issues? How I zapped Ururu?"

"I've only told them what's been going on," he said, pulling the robe off his head where it had landed and wrapped itself. "All I do is objectively report, that's it."

"Ugh, but why!?" I asked, noting the tone of desperation now in my voice. I looked at Renji, and suddenly my anger was replaced with pain. "Why didn't you tell me what you had to do? Why didn't anyone tell me? They all knew. You know I wouldn't hurt anyone so why am I being treated like some kind of ticking time bomb-"

"Because of who you are." I stopped speaking completely. Renji was running a hand over his face. He looked tired and in need of sleep. But I didn't care.

"Who am I then, Renji?" I knew the answer, but I needed to hear him say it.

"You're one of them. A Shadow. And most importantly, you're Katsu's daughter. You want the truth? Here it is. The Soul Society thinks Katsu made you to use as a tool one day. That he might get some kind of control over you." He reached out to me again but I pulled away. I felt like he'd slapped me. No, I wish he'd slapped me instead. It would have been less painful. "It's just what they think." He finished lamely.

"But you're one of them too. You have to follow what they say," I said quietly.

So there it was. The truth. The Soul Society believed I had been bred to bring about some kind of cataclysmic doom. And they, the only true saviors of all existence were going to make sure I never strayed from the path and brought about that plan. Hitsugaya didn't have to tell me, but I knew that if I strayed even a little, whoever was monitoring all the data Renji sent in would be on me faster than I could blink. I'd end up in a cage somewhere for the rest of my life if I wasn't careful.

Urahara had walked back inside. I suddenly felt very small and very alone. A part of me had kind of figured the Soul Society would classify me along with the other Shadows as a potential threat, but hearing it actually admitted was different. It was as if hearing someone say it made the possibility of me being like the others, like my father, a much more concrete idea. Like it could actually, really happen. And the fact that it was Renji who said it made my stomach and chest twist into knots.

I could feel Urahara and Renji both staring at me. I needed to leave.

"Forgive me, _Lieutenant,_ for speaking out of turn." I bowed a bit, mocking his title. Renji didn't speak. "I have to go home now. You might want to evacuate the city before I find a crack in the sidewalk to step on and somehow cause the whole place to spontaneously combust." I forced myself not to look at Renji. I kept my head down. My hand instinctively went to the chain around my neck and I felt it snap. Holding it out to him, I let it fall into his open palm. "Wouldn't want you to get in trouble for favoring the enemy."

I turned and walked out of the shop, feeling tears of embarrassment and fear, sadness and anger all stinging the corners of my eyes for the first time in years.


	20. Chapter 20

This has been one of the hardest chapters for me to just sit down and write because after this, the story kind of just takes off completely. Things are gonna get mucho crazy up in here people so hang on to your pants. also, accept my apologies for taking the longest ever to update. I promise the rest of the story will definitely be finished and added in a timely fashion. look for updates weekly, i'm thinking. and also, as always, r & r!

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Disclaimer: I do not own bleach or any of its characters/locations/etc. I only own this plotline and the OCs.

Thanks for the follows/alerts/favorites: TheTruthSeeker, DreamingofReading, TheDeavil.

And again, thank you to the guest who reviewed the story yesterday asking me to update. It kicked my ass and got me moving. Love you guys. Enjoy!

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><p>Chapter 20<p>

I yawned, bending my head down toward my desk so Ms. Ochi wouldn't notice my lack of interest in whatever it was she was teaching. It was the middle of the morning and we were supposed to be having World History, but Ms. Ochi had begun to digress once we reached the American Civil War. I wasn't sure how food shopping had anything to do with it but, that's where we had come to. Looking around I spotted most of my friends looking as bored as I was. Rukia was staring out the windows, Orihime was doodling something that resembled a raccoon or maybe a goldfish, I couldn't tell; Chad looked…well, I never knew but today I would just assume he was bored as well. And Ichigo was asleep.

I grinned as a steady stream of drool began to puddle on his desk. Goof. From behind me I could hear the disinterested tapping of a pencil on a desk. Refusing to turn around and ask the tapper to stop, I just sat there, letting myself become more and more annoyed.

After the incident at Urahara's the other night, I had decided I no longer needed to speak to someone who would sell me out for brownie points with his boss.

The result: Renji and I had not spoken in days. Well, _I_ hadn't spoken to _him_. He tried many times to slip in snarky comments but, seeing as I clearly was the bigger person, I let them simply roll off my shoulders. I didn't need his help. At all.

_Whatever helps you sleep at night,_ Raiu chuckled quietly, only to me.

"It's true," I hissed back at her, though not as discretely as I thought.

"I'm so glad you agree, Miss Kobayashi," Ms. Ochi said suddenly. I looked up and there she was right next to my desk. _Uh-oh. _"Can you summarize all that for us in one concise statement please, since you feel so strongly on the subject?" She raised an eyebrow at me and I could tell she was waiting for me to admit I hadn't been paying attention. A blush heated my cheeks as I felt all eyes turn to me. I began to stutter nervously.

"Well, um, the whole idea is, er, really that, um-"

"United we stand and divided we fall," a voice finished. Ms. Ochi's eyes peeled away from me.

"Thank you, Mr. Abarai. Very well put. But in the future, I ask that you let your classmates succeed or fail on their own. Grades are not a joint effort." The bell rang to signal lunch and, after a disappointed glance back at me, Ms. Ochi turned away and shouted the homework assignment over the noise. Everyone was out of their seats and moving except me. And Renji. I hadn't heard him get up, and I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my head.

Near the door, Rukia, Orihime, Tatsuki and a few other girls had gathered. They called out my name and waved to me to come join them.

"You're welcome," Renji's voice grumbled. Turning my head only slightly to the side so he could hear me, I kept my eyes down on the floor. His foot was resting against the leg of my chair.

"I don't need your help," I spat. His foot slid to the ground.

Grabbing my bag from the hook on my desk, I swung it over my shoulder, feeling only slightly bad that it smacked Renji in the face. As I walked toward the door I could hear a boy nearby whistle.

"You really pissed _her_ off, huh Renji?" A few others laughed. Almost too quiet for anyone to hear, Renji responded.

"I know." When I reached the others, I looked back just for a moment. Renji's chin was resting on his hand and he was staring out the window. I couldn't be too sure, but in that split second before Orihime started dragging me down the hall, I could have sworn the gold of his eyes dimmed sadly.

I spent most of lunch thinking about that, a guilty feeling nagging at the back of my mind. I wanted to be angry and hurt, but mostly I felt childish. A part of me understood exactly where Renji was coming from. He was doing his job, and why wouldn't the Soul Society want to know about powerful spiritual beings that haven't been active for thousands of years? But, another part of me felt betrayed. He could have told me what was going on from the beginning instead of sneaking around and spying on me. I thought we were close enough that he wouldn't have to hide things like that, but maybe I had been imagining it all along.

The rest of the day passed in the same miserable fashion. Renji didn't try to speak to me again and I acted like I didn't care either way. I kept my eyes trained on the blackboard, and began to let my thoughts wander to the Soul Society instead. What kind of place was it? Everyone made it seem like some austere, grand council, but I could only picture a faceless puppeteer pulling on the strings of life and death connected to everyone in existence. It was unfeeling and unseeing, blind to anyone else's problems but its own.

I dreamt of it that night, a large empty faced mass that held me tightly in its grip. Everyone watched as I danced around to chuckles from my master. Rukia shook her head in disappointment and Ichigo turned away. And Renji…his face was blank. Clear of all emotions, his eyes sunken and disapproving. I called out to him, suddenly terrified he was about to walk away and leave me alone. But I was so angry at him at the same time, what did I care if he left? It was like two different Sayuris battled inside my head, one screaming at Renji to leave and one screaming for him to stay. As he turned, I yelled his name and reached out, but recoiled suddenly. A face had appeared before my eyes. A laughing, evil face framed by black hair and lit up by two crimson eyes. My body felt hot, as if flames were licking at my skin. I couldn't pull away, couldn't escape the searing pain. I screamed for Renji again and my own eyes snapped open. I shot up in bed, aware that I had actually called out to Renji in my sleep. I still felt trapped in that moment of terror. I needed to get up. I needed to move.

But my body was wrapped in the sheet. In my frantic state, I thrashed around, yanking the sheet free from where it was tucked under the mattress. I clawed at the fabric, trying to get it off, its weight suffocating in my post-dream panic. My body slipped off the mattress and out of the sheet onto the floor.

I lay there, panting on the floor. My body was cold and clammy and I was shaking slightly. Why was I so frightened? I had nightmares about Katsu almost every night; it wasn't as if this was any different. But it was. This time it had felt real, as if he really had been right there in front of me. I could still hear his laugh ringing in my ears; still feel the heat of his gaze. And I had called out for Renji. The scream had sounded so desperate, so pained that my chest hurt when I thought about it. I rolled over onto my side and pulled my knees up to my chest, curling into a ball.

I felt like I was slowly beginning to lose my mind. It was as if, screw by screw, I was coming unhinged. Was this what Katsu wanted? Was this his plan? To drive me mad with fear until I broke? I was no longer able to decipher what it was I was really feeling or thinking. Dreams and reality was starting to mesh together and I was so frightened and confused that I was beginning to feel nauseous.

A shadow crossed the room from outside my window. I sat up, looking over my shoulder, expecting to see Rukia or Ichigo hovering outside. _Someone's probably come to see why I was screaming,_ I thought, slightly embarrassed. _I hope they didn't hear me say Renji's name_. _I hope he's not here tonight. _Biting my lip, I slowly got to my knees and crawled over to the sill. Looking through the glass, I couldn't see any movement outside. All was still.

Except…for something fluttering on top of the house. As my eyes traveled across the grass I noticed that the shadow of the roof, which was usually very linear, had some sort of…thing right at the peak. It looked like whatever it was was wrapped in fabric that was blowing with the breeze. I squinted trying to make out what it could be, when it began to move. It was growing. Taller and taller it became until I could just make out the shape of a person.

I flipped the lock off the window panes and pushed them outward.

"I'm fine," I called out, figuring whoever was on duty for 'Sayuri Spying' tonight probably thought I wouldn't realize they were up there. "It was just a bad dream." I rested my chin on the window sill. The shadow rose up from its perch on the roof, and then began to descend, becoming absorbed into the surrounding black. I blinked in confusion.

"You must still be sleeping then," a haughty voice laughed from above me, "because the nightmare's not over just yet!"

I jumped back from the window just in time. Pressing myself against the wall beside it, I watched as a tunnel of air shot into my room and collided with the wall opposite. Closing my eyes, I shielded my face as things went flying all around me. My shelves were knocked from the walls, and pages were torn from the falling books. I felt some edges slice at my skin sharply.

"Missed you, huh?" mused the voice. "This time you won't be so lucky!" Someone flew into my room through the open window, their hands bent at the wrist so that their palms were pointing towards me. My body moved faster than my brain in the seconds before another wind tunnel almost flattened me against the wall. I threw myself out of the open window, tumbling neatly through the air, and landed hard on the grass below. As I felt my knees buckle beneath me all I could think was how I had to get my attacker out of the house and away from my parents who were sleeping soundly down the hall. Had they heard the noise? Were they coming to see if I was alright?

Pushing myself to my feet, I spun around to get a better look at the man now standing in my window.

He was a thin man with a high cheekboned, handsome face. His thick golden hair fell in locks just past his shoulders, and his thin mouth was pursed as he gazed down at me. His gray kimono had large billowing sleeves that completely covered his hands. They, and the hem of the robes, blew in a nonexistent breeze that seemed to surround only this man.

"Pretty quick aren't you," he sneered at me.

"Who are you!?" I shouted. The man laughed dryly. "You're a Shadow, right?" His face became serious.

"Why yes, I am. How ever did you figure _that_ out?" The man's high pitched voice was taunting, as if he was speaking to a small child. He sat down upon the window sill. _Not good_, I thought. _I need to get him away from my house._ Where were my parents? Had the noise really not awoken them?

"Your spiritual pressure," I answered. "It was barely there. Like something floating just under the surface of water, but not close enough to see clearly." As I spoke, I began to take steps backwards, hoping he would follow. But he stayed put, only his eyes watching my now meaningless retreat

"Precisely. Because I did not _want_ you to notice. I _wanted_ you to remain asleep so I could kill you without any trouble, but you woke up."

Before I could stop myself I snorted back, "Well _excuse _me." The man pursed his lips again and his nostrils flared. He snapped his fingers and as I took another step backwards, I walked into something hard and solid. A dark evil feeling flooded my body. In my mind, in the place where all the spirit ribbons danced together, a black mangled piece of fabric appeared. _A Hollow!_

Slowly looking up, I took in its gargantuan appearance. A large spider-like creature with too many legs and eyes clicked its pincers menacingly.

"Yes, Master? You called, Master?" It croaked to the man in my window. "Is it time to eat yet, Master?" Its voice was pleading. The man simply waved his hand and grinned. Before I even had time to register what was happening, a large hairy leg had knocked me to the ground and pinned me to the grass, face down. Instinctively, I covered the back of my neck with my hands, waiting for the piercing pain of the Hollow's massive jaws.

"Noooooo!" It suddenly screeched, and a torrent of dark liquid rained down on me. Holding my breath against the putrid stench, I got to my feet as soon as the pressure on my back lifted and spun around. The Hollow was dissolving before my eyes, its huge body slashed in half so that I could see through to the other side.

Renji was standing there, the sword in his hand dripping black liquid. Someone suddenly appeared near the fence and I turned to see Rukia arriving, instantly followed by Yuroichi.

"The others are on their way," she announced, and the others nodded. I heard a haughty sniff from behind me and turned to face the man again.

"Who are you?" I asked again, wiping some Hollow blood from my cheek. "Answer me!"

"You think just because you killed one Hollow you can order me around?" He laughed derisively. It was an ugly laugh that was out of place coming from such a pretty face. So was the way he kept pursing his mouth, as if he believed every living thing that existed was beneath him.

"She asked you a question," a voice growled from behind me. Renji had come forward to stand beside me, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Rukia and Yuroichi close in as well. Seemingly disinterested, the man began picking at one of his nails. He sighed and then answered.

"My name is Sho. And I don't have to answer your questions just because Lord Katsu believes you to be of his blood," he added snippily, sounding like a rude child. "You're no princess of mine."

"Does that mean you're not here to drag me kicking and screaming back to him then?" I asked. "That's what your psycho 'Maiden of the Deep' wanted, until she got deep fried." I remembered my triumph over the water Shadow well. Sho's face suddenly twisted with rage.

"How dare you!" he screamed. "How dare you speak of Ren in such a distasteful, arrogant way! She, who was more beautiful than the deepest blues of the seas, does not deserve to have her name tarnished on the lips of a filthy half breed like you!" Instantly, Hollows sprang up all around us, some tall and skeletal and some short with many eyed heads. They just kept appearing, even when we could no longer see the ones farthest back in the horde. Sho laughed as we all moved closer together, our backs touching so that we each faced a different direction. "Impressive isn't it!? Shadows can control Hollows, didn't you know!? Such stupid lowly creatures. Much like humans. And you." He snapped his fingers and a few Hollows shot into the air just above us.

I pressed my eyes shut and felt my mind dive into that ball of electric heat deep within me. I willed myself to change, willed that half of me that blazed with Soul Reaper energy to come forth and take over. The sudden rustle around my ankles and weight at my waist felt oddly reassuring, and I knew it was done. As my hand closed around the handle of my zanpakutō, I couldn't help but think how strange it was that a tool designated for the action of killing would create a calmness within me. Did that mean I was beginning to condone it? Beginning to see that destroying other living beings was something acceptable? My stomach lurched, and I pushed the thoughts from my mind, focusing on the black masses hurtling back towards the ground and us.

Renji and Yuroichi leapt into the air, Zabimaru becoming serrated and segmented and Yuroichi's hands glowing with the power of her Shunkō. Rukia stood beside me muttering some Kido enchantments, her hands outstretched. Focusing, I readied myself. _Let's do it,_ a sizzling voice in my head whispered excitedly.

Placing the palm of my hand on the flat side of my zanpakutō's blade, I concentrated all my energy into what I was about to do. Learning to release Raiu into her Shikai form had not been easy, requiring a lot more focus and spirit energy than I was used to. But, she believed we were ready to undertake it. I took a deep breath.

"Crash, Raiu!" Shouting the Kaigo, or release call, and then her name, I slid my palm down the length of the blade and it began to glow with a white heat. The steel morphed and changed right before my eyes, something I was still getting used to. It thinned in width and lengthened a bit, tapering off evenly to a sharp point at the very end. _Good. Now, you remember what to do, _Raiu coached in my ear, _Do it exactly like we practiced._

"Oho," a cold, haughty voice chortled, breaking into my thoughts. Sho looked amused, "Learned some fancy new tricks have you? Then we shall have to test them out!" Snapping his fingers again, a large Hollow with many arms suddenly rushed at me with a howl that tore the night apart. I narrowed my eyes. Showtime.

Pointing my zanpakutō towards the creature, I rested my left wrist in a groove that was cut into the guard and bent it so that my palm was facing forward just like the tip of my blade. Summoning my strength and willing it into the steel, I could see a dark gray, spherical mass beginning to grow out of the point of the sword. It looked to be made entirely of clouds, all swirling rapidly around one another like those of a powerful thunderstorm. My left hand was sparking as small bolts jumped from my skin to the blade. They sped along it and into the cloudy mass, appearing every so often with a spark and a crackle. _Like a mini thunderstorm, _I thought, not for the first time. _Let's hope it packs the same kind of punch_.

I raised my eyes to the oncoming Hollow, and shouted "Crash!" again. The sphere erupted from the end of my zanpakutō and shot forward, growing in size with every inch it traveled. I willed it to the right ever so slightly, and it obeyed, fixing its course. As it finally collided with the Hollow's body, there was a ground shattering rumble as it exploded with the force of a few tons of dynamite. The lightning too struck with a raging ferocity, and the air was filled with the smell of singeing flesh. I turned my face away just a bit and squinted through the light and cloud that suddenly was cast outward from its point of contact. The Hollow howled in agony, and then its presence vanished.

"Whoa!" a voice shouted from behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see Ichigo, Uryuu, and Urahara arriving. Ichigo was grinning at me. "You finally got your Shikai. Nice!" He ruffled my hair a bit, and I grinned back. Turning back, I faced Sho who was currently looking as if he had just smelled something particularly unpleasant. Pointing my blade at him, I smiled innocently.

"You're next." His eyebrows furrowed.

"Confidence is the most disgusting of human traits," he sniffed, his air of superiority evident all over his face. "It lures the believer into the false understanding that they cannot be defeated. But, as I am sure we both know, your 'half baked' abilities are nowhere near my own. For this reason, Lord Katsu welcomed me into his presence. Gave me a purpose and others like me. Because I am strong and more powerful than you will ever hope to be, tiny human." From the folds of his robes, he pulled two enormous metal rods. With the swiftest flick of his wrists, the rods snapped and opened into fans, gleaming in the light of the moon. "My abilities have been cultivated over centuries, and I have carefully-"

But what exactly Sho had done so carefully to become the most supreme fan dancer of all time, I never found out. He leapt up into the air and gracefully flipped over backwards to land on the spine of my roof. A flash of white and blue passed by, and Uryuu landed softly on the grass beside me. The bow that Uryuu used in battle, shined brightly in his right hand, while his left hand pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

"My apologies," he said to me. "I just couldn't stand listening to him prattle on any longer." I laughed.

"No objections there." I could see Sho scowling at us again.

"You insolent children. You understand nothing of the beauty of honing one's skills. Let me give you some lessons!" Sho shot down from the roof, the razor sharp edges from his fans hurtling towards us. Digging my heels into the ground, I pushed off, holding Raiu with both hands before me. We collided in midair, steel upon steel clanging in the quiet night. "Hmm, you are fast," Sho remarked to me. "Let's see just how fast then." And then he was gone.

I looked around for him, my body suspending in the air as if I was standing on an invisible platform a few feet up from the ground. _He's hiding his spirit energy,_ Raiu hissed in my head, _The coward! Look for his ribbon!_ Closing my eyes, I calmed my mind and searched for the place where the ribbons resided. Once there, I felt myself pushing through the many that filled the space that was Karakura Town. Crimson red ribbons marking the Soul Reapers, plain white ones marking the humans, black and rotted ones for the Hollows, and… _There!_

Reaching out, I focused hard on a ribbon that had suddenly appeared. It wasn't so much a ribbon as a mass of swirling winds like a very thin tornado. Latching onto it, I could see Sho's plan to come at me from above. Instinctively, my eyes still shut, I flung my zanpakutō upward. The resulting pressure that met it told me I had been right. Opening my clear silver eyes, I looked straight into Sho's dark gray, cloudy ones.

"I see you," I taunted. He leapt backwards and studied me. "I'm a Shadow too remember? Even if you hide your spirit energy from the others, it doesn't matter. I'll always find you." Before he could respond, I flew at him, slashing with my zanpakutō. But, it merely caught the hem of his robes. As his body soared backwards across the yard, he flicked the fans and two identical tunnels of wind spiraled towards me. I threw up my arms, and was immediately thrown back the moment they hit me

Slamming into the side of my house, I felt the walls give way. Siding and rock piled down on top of me, and a particularly large piece of rubble struck my shoulder. The whole structure groaned and I had a sudden sickening thought. My parents were still inside. Pushing away from the wall and holding my now aching shoulder, I threw myself back across the yard, turning around and praying the building did not collapse. For some reason, my parents were still unaware that this fight was even happening. They were blissfully asleep and therefore, extremely vulnerable. _I have to keep his attacks away from the house,_ I thought. Then I had an idea.

Kneeling down, I tried my best to look shaken up and worn out, which wasn't too hard to do the more I focused on the throbbing pain in my shoulder. Blood trickled slowly over my fingers but not enough to be too alarming. I'd gotten beat up worse in training.

Sho slowly came closer, still keeping a fair amount of distance. Around us, my friends all battled with the Hollows, their shouts and grunts sounding muffled and far away.

"Is that all it takes to finish you off, child?" He looked down his long pointed nose at me, sniffing in haughty disgust.

"So who was she?" I said, making myself pant the words. At Sho's confused look, I continued, "Ren. Who was she to you?" His face twisted in a mixture of rage and sadness. _Ugh, he actually liked that sea witch?_ Raiu hissed. I had to try really hard to suppress my grin.

"She was everything. We became Shadows around the same time and since that moment, have walked side by side throughout the twilight of our existence." His eyes became dreamy and moist, as he remembered her. "Ren was the first thing I saw when I awoke. Becoming a Shadow is a very long and arduous experience, after all. It leaves one most drained and weakened."

"What happens?" I asked, pretending to wince as I shifted my body around to kneel on my other leg. "I was born already a Shadow, so I don't really know." Sho considered me for a moment, as if wondering why I was suddenly so docile and curious. I let my eyes cloud over a bit and starting breathing heavily. Hopefully he would think our fight had taken all my strength and that I was close to losing consciousness. If I could just keep him talking, I could figure out how to get him away from the house. Deciding that it couldn't hurt to answer my questions since I was clearly so close to expiring, Sho responded.

"We are souls that wander this world, neither attached to it, nor prepared to leave it. We exist in the in-between spaces, the shadows between this world and the next. And if we exist there long enough, we begin to change. To become a part of the blackness. It is an essential part of the universe, you see. The void. It is there that we meld together with other elemental substances to strengthen our bodies. To rid ourselves of those wretched soul chains and become independent beings. It was after this awakening I met my beautiful, majestic Ren. She had just recently been reborn as well, and together we made our way through the ages. Everything about her was perfect and wonderful. Until we met him." Sho's eyes darkened, and I could only suspect who he was speaking of. "She became enamored by him, so willing to carry out his bidding that she never stopped to think of what cost it might require."

His eyes slid back into focus and settled on me. I couldn't help but think he was suddenly remembering that it was I who toasted his beloved in the river.

"Then he created you. And you destroyed her. So now, I will destroy you." His dark eyes clouded over and he held his fans out to both sides. Bringing them together in front of him, one massive wind tunnel shot towards me. Well situated on one knee, I leapt off of the ground and flipped over the tunnel, but as I did, I noticed a Hollow get thrown into the side of my house mere feet away from where I had made a dent.

As I landed, I watched as the whole building shuddered.

"Get away!" I shouted, momentarily forgetting Sho. I ran as fast as I could toward the house and brought my zanpakutō down, slashing through the body of the Hollow. A few more of the beasts hurried forward to avenge their fallen comrade. "Stay back!" I warned, waving my blade through the air and trying to keep them at bay.

"So," Sho's voice cut across the yard, "you do not like it when we destroy your home do you?" He smirked and then snapped his fingers again. Instantly, a dozen Hollows were airborne, soaring towards me and the back wall of my house. Without even having to think, I placed my left wrist upon the guard of my zanpakutō again. Lifting it to aim at the center of the oncoming group of Hollows, I began summoning all my powers to the point of the blade. The stormy sphere began to grow in size, and the bolts of lightning streaked down the side of the sword to flash within the clouds.

"Crash, Raiu!" I bellowed, releasing the energy. The thunder sphere shot towards the Hollows and made contact with the middlemost body. It exploded with great force, and the bolts of lightning shot outwards to strike each of the following Hollows as well. I panted for real this time as I watched them all disintegrate, defeated, before my eyes.

"What are you doing?" Urahara, who had been yards away from me finishing off a particularly tall and skinny Hollow that resembled a skeleton, suddenly landed soundlessly on the ground beside me. I turned to him, feeling the desperation in my face.

"My parents are still inside, and they're trying to bring down the house." His eyes narrowed ever so slightly. He nodded, and then disappeared. Where had he gone? Was he going to help or did he not care about the lives of two innocent humans against all these Hollows? Panicking, I looked up at my still open window. _I have to get them out,_ I thought.

Backing up a bit, I ran forward and pushed myself hard off the ground, leaping at the ledge of my open window.

"Oh no you don't!" A Hollow was flying through the air alongside me, reaching out a large beefy hand. I threw a disc of lighting and it caught him right in the mouth, sending him back towards the ground. Giving my body and extra push, I felt my hand close on the window sill and I hoisted myself inside. I only had mere seconds before they began to tear the roof off.

Darting out of my now open door (had I left it open earlier?), I ran down the hallway towards my parents' room. I could see two large hunched figures inside.

"No!" I screamed, another disc of lightning already in my hand.

"Wait!" Urahara's voice came from the smaller of the dark figures and as I hurtled into the room, I saw him and Tessai (when had he arrived?) leaning over the motionless bodies of my parents. Paralyzed with fear, I wondered if I was too late.

"What happened? Why didn't they come to see what the noise was? They never got up-"

"They're fine." Urahara held up a hand to stop me. "A while ago, when we figured out the Shadows might be targeting you we put up some enchantments to keep them protected and unaware of our world. They won't wake up and see what's happening outside."

Bending towards Emiko, he took one of her arms and slung it over his shoulder. In the next instant, he had hoisted her up onto his back. Turning to look at me, he smiled reassuringly.

"We'll get them out. You focus on the talking tornado out there, kay?" He tipped his hat in farewell. Tessai had lifted Isamu onto his back, and turned to the window. He kicked it open and hopped out into the air, Urahara right behind him. I followed them, watching as my parents' lifeless bodies swayed over their carriers' backs.

I felt a sudden breeze heading my way, and turned just in time to raise my zanpakutō and cut through a rather vigorously spinning wind tunnel that had been aimed at Urahara and Tessai. It turned, and raged on toward the house. A hole was blasted through the roof, shingles flying off in every direction.

A white hot flash of rage tore through my body, one that I had never felt before. That swirl of wind could have knocked Isamu and Emiko to the ground, killing them. I glared at Sho, who was perched on the point where the two sides of my roof met. With his fans, he was sending tunnels of wind through every bit of my house he could reach laughing as he did so.

I landed on the opposite end of the roof, my eyes taking in nothing but his wretched smile and his dark cloudy eyes.

"Does it hurt," he barked, still laughing and sending some shingles flying, "to watch me tear apart your home that you love so dearly? You put in quite the effort earlier to protect it." He lifted his foot and brought it down so hard that a whole chunk of the building split off from the rest and slid to the ground.

I did not respond to his taunts. I could not. My jaw was clenched so hard to keep in a scream that was building up inside me from a place I never knew existed. A place that wanted to cause this man pain beyond anything he had ever felt. He had threatened Emiko and Isamu, gotten so very close to hurting them. My fear had quickly turned into anger.

"You know me so well don't you," I said very quietly, through gritted teeth. Sho laughed again, sounding triumphant.

"You humans are so easy to understand. You pine and mourn over material things that have no meaning."

"Do I? That's not the first time you've called me a human tonight." I closed my eyes, suddenly disgusted with Sho's boastful smile. Emiko and Isamu's faces erupted in my mind and all guards I had put up against my anger were shattered as I thought of losing them. "You seem to be forgetting something," I said, finally allowing the rage to course through my body. "I'm not human at all. I'm something _very_ different." When I opened my eyes, there was an explosion of light all around me, _from_ me. My whole body was suddenly glowing with a white heat that made everything else disappear.

I felt myself retreating inward, closer to the ball of energy that was always present in the deepest parts of me. The one from which I drew my Shadow powers. As I reached it, I felt its warmth envelope my being and a sense of clarity and understanding overtook me. Opening my eyes, I could see my surroundings had changed slightly. Sho and I still stood opposite one another, but in a different world. We were standing on flat ground made of reddish clay. There were sparse black trees around us and a black sun hung in the sky.

My body had no shape. The edges of my being fizzled in and out, like Raiu's did when I saw her manifestation. I was pure lightning. Pure energy. Pure life. And across from me, Sho swirled in a mass of dark gray clouds. This must be the place where Shadows truly reside. The Void, Sho had called it? Where we could see one another for what we truly, essentially were.

Reaching out, I could feel myself take hold of Sho's being. He froze at my touch, his body suddenly feeling weak and fragile.

"This is the second time your Katsu fan club has threatened people I care about. And this time, just as the first, you will regret that decision." The words poured out from me as if spoken by another person. I felt myself begin to apply pressure to Sho, as if my hand was around his throat and I was beginning to strangle him. He gasped in pain and I felt a surge of energy course through me. At the same time, I noticed that Sho seemed to diminish in size. I applied more pressure and he began to scream. Again his size decreased and mine grew, strengthening as well.

It felt amazing. The rush of the energy suddenly running through my being was euphoric. I felt so powerful that I knew I could crush Sho if I wished. I could crush him and the trees around us, and this entire place. I could crush the humans and Shadows and Soul Reapers and everyone in existence. The sound of the energy pouring into my body was so powerful that it was as if there was a great storm, and the wind was howling. As I listened harder, I soon realized that it was more like screaming.

Sho, back to his humanoid form was lying on the ground before me, clutching at his chest and face, shouting terribly.

"Please! My lord, please stop! It hurts so, my king! It hurts!" I could not understand what he was saying. Who was he speaking to? I was not his king. "Lord Katsu, I beg you to stop! Do not do this again! I will obey! I promise!"

With the sudden deflated feeling of a popped balloon, I released my hold on Sho. As I did so, I felt the course of energy through me lessen and lessen as my size decreased again. A horrifying, sickening thought shot through me, and I suddenly felt nauseous. _Was I just…no, I couldn't have…only he can. But it felt…like I was…no…._ My mind fought with itself so fiercely I thought my head was going to split in two. But as I watched Sho panting, his chest heaving in apparent pain, I realized the truth. I had been sucking away his spirit energy, his life, just as Katsu had done to that poor man all those weeks ago. My _father_.

I wrenched myself out of that place as forcibly as I could, willing my consciousness to return to my physical body. As I did, I expelled the remaining power I held within me, and as it flew outward I saw it strike Sho and he lay motionless on the ground.

With a thud, my knees hit the roof as I collapsed. My chest was heaving, and I really thought I was about to throw up. What had I just done? I had just taken another living being's life essence from them. For what purpose? Because it felt good? Because it gave me power beyond anything I had ever felt? Was that why Katsu did it? How did he live with the guilt I now felt swirling around inside me, threatening to heave all the contents of my stomach onto the roof instead.

"I was wrong," croaked a voice. Looking up through bedraggled strands of sweaty hair that now stuck to my face, I saw Sho lift his head ever so slightly. "You are not human after all. You are a demon, just like him. You _will_ join him one day. You won't be able to help it. You will crave the power, just like your father." And for a moment, his eyes met mine and I felt a thrill of fear rush through my veins at his words. Then his head lowered and the light left his eyes.

I was still crouching there, staring at Sho's motionless body, when Renji vaulted onto the roof. He was shaking me, shouting something, but I couldn't hear him. A ringing had begun in both my ears as the shock of what I had just done really hit me. I felt myself lifted into the air and then settled back onto the ground a few moments later. It was softer here and there were lots of people around. Suddenly, something icy cold shot down my back and I yelped.

"What the hell!" I shook my head as water dripped from the ends of my hair. A few people laughed shakily.

"Well we had to do something," Yuroichi said, tossing a water pail off towards the fence. I felt the clouds that were fogging up my head clear as everything came back into focus. I was sitting in the grass near one of the overflowing flower beds. Yuroichi was standing next to me, as were Ichigo and Uryuu. Rukia was wrapping a bandage around her wrist over near the fence. Renji was crouched next to me, and I suddenly realized I was leaning back against him, weakly. My cheeks felt hot, and I pushed away from him standing up.

Wobbling a bit, I felt my legs give way, and Renji's strong arms held me up. I glared sideways at him, but he didn't let go. Just as I was about to snap at him, a crude laugh echoed around the yard. Everyone froze and then spun to face the house. Mikio was sitting in my window.

He began clapping. Renji, Ichigo, and Rukia all drew their zanpakutōs and moved closer to the house. Yuroichi and Uryuu's hands glowed fiercely as they moved closer one either side of me. I was the only one not surprised to see Mikio there apparently. In the split second before he made himself known, I had sensed his presence. Some more of that good ol' Shadow intuition for you. And there was the fact that he had the annoying habit of always showing up when you least wanted him around.

"Bra-vo," he said, stretching the word out. "That was certainly some show you all put on. _Very _entertaining. Especially you, kitty cat." He winked at me and wiggled his fingers a bit. "You simply stole the show up there. I mean, the way your eyes began to glow?" He shivered and ran his hands up and down his bare arms. "Gave me chills." A few of my friends looked at me confused. Their battles with the Hollows obviously didn't leave them any time to watch my fight with Sho.

"What do you want?" demanded Renji, anger boiling just beneath his annoyed tone. Mikio grinned at him.

"I just wanted to watch. It's not everyday someone goes and disobeys Lord Katsu's orders as blatantly as that idiot did."

"His orders?" Yuroichi said, her tone strained. Mikio nodded.

"Oh yes. You see," he stood up on thin air and began to slowly float towards the ground, "Lord Katsu told us all to stay away from the princess for now. We were told not to touch her," he gestured at me. I kept my face blank. "But Sho just couldn't help himself. I mean," he looked at me through his long lashes, his eyes becoming heavy, "You did kill his lover, darling."

I figured that had been the case so this statement did not surprise me as much as the others. From the way Sho had spoken about Ren, how could they have been anything else? But it had seemed, that at the end, she had fallen prey to Katsu and felt that in attempting to capture me, she could please him. _Too bad she didn't realize he's not the kind of person you can ever please,_ I thought.

"Revenge can be so bittersweet, can't it? It cost Sho his life and he didn't even succeed. I wonder," he held his chin between two fingers and looked at me appraisingly. "I wonder if you will make the same sacrifice, princess." Breaking my blank stare, I looked back at him confused.

"Why exactly would I want revenge on Katsu, or any of you? Besides you being completely insane, what exactly have you done to me?" Mikio giggled and disappeared for a split second before reappearing just in front of me. He reached out and took a strand of my damp hair between his fingers.

"Nothing too naughty, I promise," he winked. Then he was gone, and Zabimaru's serrated blade was inches from my face, Renji's furious face at the other end of it. Mikio laughed and landed lightly on the roof of my house, looking around him with fake concern.

"Things seem to be quite broken now, don't they," he remarked sadly.

"That doesn't matter," I said, quietly. "The house isn't important." At that moment, Tessai and Urahara appeared in the yard.

"Your parents are safe, Miss Kobayashi," Tessai informed me with a slight bow of his head. The relief must have shown on my face, because Mikio suddenly made a noise of understanding.

"Aha, I see! It's the juicy filling that's more important than the chocolaty shell, is it?" I glared up at him. He sighed and picked at his nails a bit. "Are you sure you still don't want to join us, kitty cat?"

"You're on the losing side. Why would she want to join you?" Renji growled and Mikio shot him a disinterested look much like the one you give to a bug you've just stepped on. Turning his attention back to me, he continued.

"It'd be so much easier to just be yourself. You could learn all about your powers, especially that new one, instead of hiding them from your friends out of fear." His eyes shone with a knowing that could only mean he had seen me siphon Sho's life out of him. My face grew hot as everyone turned to look at me quizzically.

"I'm not hiding anything," I said, wishing my voice hadn't shaken so much. Mikio disappeared and reappeared before me again.

"Denial doesn't look good on you, sweetheart. If you came with us, I'd take much better care of you than that grumpy red porcupine." Renji flew to my side and grabbed my arm. He yanked me to him, telling Mikio that he could go do something very inappropriate. Mikio shrugged his shoulders and smile at the anxiety he seemed to be causing Renji, and then disappeared for good.

As everyone began speaking all at once about some of the things Mikio had said, I pulled out of Renji's grasp again and began to walk away, towards the garden pathway that led around the side of my house to the front. I needed a few moments alone to try and process the events of the night. I had just rounded the corner when I realized Renji was right behind me.

"Still following me? Shouldn't you be going to tell your bosses I killed a couple Hollows tonight? That they should lock down the town?" I asked, not really feeling half as annoyed as I sounded. Renji ignored my comments.

"You're lucky I was even here, or that spider Hollow would have chewed you up before you could even have zapped him." His tone was not angry or annoyed, but tired; as if this was an argument he had been a part of over and over again. And in a way, he had.

"Oh, I see. You were on spy duty tonight," I spat at him. His face looked hurt and when he spoke, it was in a soft voice that made me feel guilty for being so nasty.

"Look, Sayuri," and despite my frustration and anger towards him, I couldn't help the thrill of happiness that surged through me every time he said my name. "I haven't lied to you-"

"No," I cut him off, "you just haven't told me the whole truth. That's just as bad, you know."

"It is," he admitted, looking sincerely ashamed. "And I'm sorry. But what else can I do? It's my job. I'm just trying to protect people." I felt a flash of anger.

"From what? Me? You're spying on me and reporting back to them like I'm some kind of monster that needs to be kept under watch." I didn't want to talk about the Soul Society anymore. Every time I did, I felt sick. "Just leave me alone, Renji." I turned to go, but Renji reached out and grabbed my wrist. Pulling me back, he pushed me against the side of the house, placing both arms on either side of me so I couldn't get away.

"I can't leave you alone. Just listen," he said more forcibly as I started to protest. "I can see what's happening. You're jumping at every little sound and expecting your father to appear around every corner, or from every shadow. You're scared and anxious. You're not sleeping well. You're still having nightmares. I know. I hear you screaming almost every night." His face twisted into a look of pain, but his eyes were far away, as if remembering those moments before I would wake up when I was locked in the horrors of my own mind. "I hate seeing you like that, tossing and turning and stuck in a hell that I can't get you out of."

Every attempt I had been making to move Renji's arms stopped at those words. My own arms fell limply at my sides and I stared at him, my heart beating very fast now. "If my being here, if my being around you can help keep the bad things that are hurting you away, then I'd do it in a heartbeat. Can't you see that I'm just trying to protect _you_!?"

His eyes flashed and they were looking at me again. Looking into me more like, trying to make me hear his words and understand them. I couldn't tell if I was breathing anymore. His golden eyes were intense as he finally said what he had been keeping inside for a while now.

"Yes, I'm reporting back to the Soul Society, but I _know_ you. I _know_ you're not a monster and that you'd never become one. I don't care about all that." His voice lowered so that I had to strain to hear his next words. "I'm more worried they'll hurt you, or you'll hurt yourself. That's why I'm here. That's why I can't leave you alone." And with one last glare at me, he took his hands from the wall and walked back into the yard to the others.

I stood there, motionless, staring ahead for a while. I don't know when, but eventually I slid down the wall to sit on the cool, grass pathway. It was a while until my heartbeat slowed back down to normal again.


	21. Chapter 21

so this is a chapter that i have been mentally writing since i started this story way back when. it's something that i always knew was going to happen and while you may want to strangle me, believe me: there is a method to the madness. sayuri is stronger than we all believe her to be in this moment. she just has to realize it and truly become who she's meant to be. this is her second to last push to get there. it was also really hard for me to make the decisions i did in this chapter. but again, it's for the best. i love you all for your continued support (as does sayuri ^-^) and i ask you to please please pleeeeease R&R! i want to know what you think!

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Disclaimer: I do not own bleach or any of its characters/locations/etc. I only own this plotline and the OCs.

Thanks for the follows/alerts/favorites: Avrae140, sweetpotatopumpkin, LinneaFox, alexismetoyer.1 (for some reason everytime i typed in alexis' name it wouldn't save it in my document so i had to take that first period out! sorry =[ i know that's not how it's supposed to look!)

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><p>Chapter 21<p>

"Helloooo, is anyone in there!?" I felt a sharp knocking on the top of my head. The split second before I swung out my arm to clothesline the person I _thought_ was Jinta, I caught a glimpse of the flowery apron Emiko always wore. Stopping myself mid-swing, I looked more like I was having some kind of fit and wound up knocking my spoon to the floor. A clump of egg flew across the room and landed on the floor with a _plop_. I stared at it forlornly as Emiko edged away from me slightly.

"I told you she was going to snap if you kept doing that," Isamu said, his quiet voice rumbling over us from behind his open newspaper. He sat across from me in the kitchen, his long legs crossed and stretching past the edge of the table. He had his ugly purple house slippers on. Emiko had given them to him for Christmas, and we both loved her too much to tell her how hideous they really were. It was a testament to their love that Isamu wore them almost every day.

"Sorry, guys," I sighed, getting up from my seat. I grabbed a rag and put it under the faucet. "Guess I spaced out again." Squeezing out the water, I knelt down and began to wipe up the blob of egg from the tile floor.

"Are you sure you're getting enough sleep, Sayuri? You've been looking awfully pale lately…." She kneeled next to me and placed her hand against my forehead. "Kisuke isn't working you too hard is he?" I smirked.

"No, no it's not work," I muttered. "It's...other stuff." I thought back to the night two weeks ago when Sho attacked me.

The cleanup had been relatively easy, almost nonexistent in fact. I had sat on the side of the house for a while after my talk with Renji. Once I had recovered from my realization that there was more to what he had said to me than what was on the surface, I had returned to the backyard. Everyone was talking in hushed tones and, as I came closer, I noticed that while a few of them stopped speaking altogether, the others' voices rose higher in a falsely cheerful way. But before I could pretend I hadn't noticed the change there was a rustling from above us.

A giant gate was suddenly hanging about two stories up in the air. It was round and two shoji had opened to reveal a circle of white light from the other side. Large black butterflies were fluttering through to hover above the gate. Men and women in black shihakushōs were stepping through, and falling lightly and gracefully to the ground. As soon as their feet touched the grass they were off, rolling up their sleeves and beginning to erase every piece of evidence that revealed a battle had ever occurred. I watched as they used small machines that seemed to vacuum up the black blood spattered around by the Hollows.

Urahara had come to stand beside me and told me they were a special group from the Soul Society sent to clean up messes or disasters caused by spiritual beings. As I looked around, I noticed how a larger group of the men and women had gathered around my house and, with hands raised, had begun to chant what I assumed was some kind of Kidō incantation. At a loss for words I watched as time seemed to reverse itself before my eyes. Chunks of the walls and roof that had been blown away flew through the air and reassembled, leaving no cracks or uneven lines anywhere.

After they had all departed with as few words as when they arrived, my friends began to disperse as well. Rukia had gripped my hand and squeezed it reassuringly before she left and Ichigo had placed his hand on my head and ruffled my hair, again congratulating me on finally releasing my zanpakutō (until then I had only been able to do it one other time during my training with Raiu). Eventually, Renji and I were the only ones left.

"Your parents are at Urahara's. They're safe. We'll have them back by the morning." He seemed to be trying to hold my gaze, but I felt my cheeks burning and kept averting my eyes. I just nodded and began walking towards the back door to return to my room. With my hand on the handle, I stopped.

"Are you staying?" I asked quietly.

"Don't worry. You won't even know I'm here." I turned around to see him launch himself into the branches of the tree on the hill. Feeling a sense of relief I walked inside the dark house. Before that night, knowing that Renji might be snooping around my house and watching me like I was a small child he was babysitting had been infuriating and had felt like a breach of trust. But now, I couldn't help but notice that I was happy he wasn't leaving with the others, safer even, knowing he was just outside where I could reach him if I needed.

_Renji…always seems to be there when I need him doesn't he?_ I thought quietly to myself. Back in the present, I rinsed the cloth off under the faucet and stared at my reflection in the glass of the window.

"I'm alright," I turned around to face my parents and gave them what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "I've just been studying really hard for my math test, that's all!" Emiko walked over to me and stroked my hair. Tucking it behind my ear, she smiled, a look of worry still clouding her eyes.

"Well, just don't push yourself too hard, alright?" Isamu nodded in agreement and turned the page of his newspaper.

"High school is supposed to be fun," he added. I grinned.

"Alright, alright," I pulled my bag onto my shoulder and groaned in mock defeat. "Next time I'll only write one page of notes instead of three. Sound good?"

"Don't get too crazy now," Isamu chuckled. I waved as I slipped on my shoes and headed out the door. Before I got to the gate, I heard feet land lightly on the walkway behind me.

"Took you long enough." I turned to see a bored looking Renji digging around in his ear with his school bag slung over his shoulder. "Why are girls always late?"

"Sorry. I spaced out during breakfast," I told him, rubbing the back of my neck embarrassedly. Since the fight with Sho, I hadn't told anyone about my newly discovered power to drain the life from almost anyone around me. But that had not stopped it from being the only thing on my mind. Now my nightmares were sprinkled with sickening out-of-body moments where I watched myself siphoning the lives from my friends and family, leaving their bodies to litter the ground like discarded trash. I had been trying really hard to repress my fears in front of the others, especially Renji.

Not having him around so much, no matter what I was feeling, made me realize just how used to him I had become since we met. He was like a large rock I harbored myself to, strong and sturdy and unyielding. Without his presence I felt like I was barely floating above the surface.

After his speech that night, I finally accepted the fact that I had been acting like a child. Even though I had been so rude to him Renji had stayed in the tree, keeping an eye on me all night. And in the morning he had shown up outside my door just like today to walk me to school. I assumed from his continued presence every day since then, he had accepted my unspoken apology. Things were mostly back to normal, but neither of us could deny something had changed, shifted a bit in our friendship.

"Not surprising," Renji laid a hand on top of my head and ruffled my hair. "We're probably _just_ going to make it." He looked down at his watch to check the time. Grabbing his wrist and pushing his hand away, I looked at him questioningly.

"You don't even have to go to school, so why bother worrying when you get there?" Before Renji could give me a smart-assed answer, the front door opened behind us and we turned around. Emiko was standing in the doorway, still in her apron and house slippers, holding a small bag in her hand. She smiled at us.

"Oh! Good morning, Renji! I hope Sayuri didn't make you wait out here too long today?" She beamed at him.

"No longer than every other morning," Renji responded, in a politer tone than he had ever used with me. Emiko had met Renji the day after our battle with Sho, when he started walking me to school. She had heard us semi-arguing on the front path, which was our preferred method of discussion it seemed, and come out to see what was happening. She had found Renji, holding my school bag high above my head, and me jumping up and trying to snatch it back. Since then, I had also been unable to convince her that that had _not_ in fact been Renji's way of flirting with me, but just his natural inclination to be an ass.

"You forgot your lunch, Sayuri," she beckoned me over to her and waved the bag a bit. When I reached her and went to take it, she leaned close to me and whispered, "I put in some extra you can share with Renji too!" Grinning, as if she was the smartest mother in the world, she smoothed her hands over her apron, trying to rid it of invisible wrinkles.

"Emiko, I've heard that once you start feeding strays, they never leave," I said in a loud whisper, knowing Renji was listening. But Emiko was still not convinced she had misread the situation.

"Oh stop it," she waved her hand at me and glanced up at Renji. "He seems like a very nice boy, and he's not that bad looking when you get passed the tattoos and the hair-"

"Ok! Thank you very much, Emiko. We've gotta go now, bye!" I grabbed the bag from her hand and walked away quickly, pleading silently with any gods that were listening that my face wasn't as red as it felt. As I got to Renji who was waving at her with a phony smile on his face, I grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him along with me.

"You okay? Whatever she said seems to have you all worked up," Renji grinned at me as he sped up to walk beside me. I looked away, knowing full well he heard everything Emiko had said and was just teasing me again. Opening the lunch bag, I pulled out a few rice balls wrapped in plastic and shoved them into his hands.

"Here, she made these for you." Renji opened one up immediately and took a bite. Smiling euphorically, he started speaking, spraying rice everywhere.

"That woman is a saint!" I couldn't help but let out a laugh. He acted like such a child sometimes it was hard to remember he was an adult.

Seized by a sudden urge, I stopped walking and turned around to look back at my house. Emiko, and Isamu too, were both standing in the doorway watching Renji and I walk away. I raised a hand and waved. They waved back, Emiko also reaching up to hold Isamu's hand that was resting on her shoulder. There was an odd moment, as my wave ended and my hand slowly fell back to my side, that I was compelled to take in every detail of it. The way the flowers spilled from the backyard to the front and out past the gate. The curtains blowing in an upstairs window. Emiko and Isamu's smiling faces sending me off to school.

Something fell heavily on my head and I turned around. Renji lifted his schoolbag off of me and looked at me strangely.

"Now we're really gonna be late." I averted my eyes as he kept staring, feeling, not for the first time, as if he was prying through my carefully constructed walls to get at my inner most thoughts

"You've got rice all over your face, jerk." I brushed past him and kept walking.

ooo

Contrary to Renji's belief, we arrived at school just before the first bell rang. All through our classes that morning I couldn't shake the feeling I had earlier. It started as just a funny feeling in the back of my consciousness. But after a while it began to grow into something else. It was like trying to remember an important date or name, having it just on the tip of your tongue, but no matter what you did you could not recall anything. I kept looking out the window, expecting something to happen. Then it did.

Halfway through language class a cold fear gripped my insides, and I sat bolt upright in my seat. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and my arms broke out in goosebumps, even though the breeze coming in the window was full of spring warmth. I must have looked bothered, because the teacher suggested that I visit the nurse.

I avoided everyone's eyes as I stepped out into the hallway and slid the door shut behind me. I started walking, though I wasn't really sure where I was heading. The nurse wasn't going to be of any help I knew, so I let my feet carry me where they wanted. I wound up on the floor above, outside an empty science lab. Something shiny caught my eye, so I stepped inside.

The ceiling was covered in hanging mobiles made up of photographs. They had been a part of a project we had done concerning genetics and inherited physical traits. A few of the windows were open, and the late morning breeze was making the pictures spin on their strings. I walked across the room and looked outside. Below, a gym class was playing baseball, their shouts full of laughter and friendly taunting. Closing my eyes, I let the wind brush the hair off my face where it had broken free of my headband. I rested my head against the glass. _Something's wrong,_ I thought. _I don't feel right_.

"Everything alright, dear?" a voice asked from behind me. Crap. I was supposed to be in class or the nurse's office, not loitering around in empty classrooms. I was turning around and beginning to come up with an explanation as to my presence in the lab, when I caught sight of my discoverer. My insides froze over, all the color drained from my face, and all I could think of was whether I could survive a leap out of the window to the ground below.

Katsu was standing across from me, leisurely resting against one of the lab tables. His black braid was hanging over his shoulder and resting against his chest. Its color stood out fiercely against the red of his sleeveless shihakushō. He was watching me with eyes that currently resembled embers rather than flames, but they nevertheless made me cringe.

"You look a little pale. Have you been getting enough rest?"

"How did you get in here," I asked, my voice much lower and frightened than I would have liked in that moment. Ignoring me, he continued.

"Mikio says you suffer from nightmares," grinning, he stared at me as if he knew he was the main star of all my dreams.

"How would he know that?" I asked, hating that my voice shook with unmistakable fear.

"Well, apart from your many lookouts, I too have had my more _reliable_ subjects keeping me posted on your health and wellbeing. As your father, this is my number one priority." Despite my paralyzing fear, I snorted unintentionally at this, and a twinge of rage flitted across Katsu's face before it smoothed back into a fakely concerned smile. Of course he would have someone following me and reporting back to him. How could I not have predicted that? Mikio popping up unwanted all the time could never have just been a coincidence. He was my father's right hand. Plus, he could hide his spiritual pressure, so my friends would never have been able to tell he was nearby while he watched me. The thought creeped me out beyond words.

"Right," I said, taking the smallest step backwards toward the open window, "I'm sure there is nothing else that occupies your days except thoughts of me."

"Naturally," Katsu waved his hand as if this should have been the most obvious of understandings.

"It's not exactly easy for me to stay healthy when some nutcase is trying to blow down my house though, so, bad move on your part." Another step back. But this time, Katsu stood up and took a small step towards me as well.

"Sho acted foolishly and of his own accord. I disapproved of his actions and was planning on punishing him once he returned." I noted the annoyed way he spoke of his fallen subject. Clearly he wasn't torn up over Sho's death. His eyes raked over my face and a surge of sickening pride filling his voice. "However, you seemed to handle him yourself, and quite capably I might add." A weight dropped into my stomach. Did he know that I had inherited his ability to siphon souls out of other beings? The cruel grin spreading across his face told me, yes. Yes indeed. "Was it thrilling?" he asked, a slightly manic undertone to his voice.

I backed up quite visibly this time, bumping into the desk behind me. The way he had asked that question was horrifying. I had killed Sho. Sucked the life right out of him. Just the tiniest memory of that moment made me feel violently ill, but Katsu looked positively gleeful.

"I've done it then," he muttered, more to himself than to me. "I've truly created the perfect link between our worlds. With you at my side I could devour all of them. All who oppose me would grovel when they discover that we could easily extract the very souls that keep them alive."

"You're crazy," I interrupted his speech, afraid to hear where it would escalate to. Katsu had been looking around the room, but now his eyes slowly returned to mine. "I mean," I continued, feeling my voice grow stronger with every word. "I thought you were before, but now I know. You are honestly insane." There was no way I would ever help this man deprive anyone of the life they had been given, soul or human or Shadow. I had no right to dictate others' fates. And neither did Katsu.

"But we're family, dearest daughter-"

"Like hell we are!" My voice had risen to a shout now, but the blood pumping through my veins and thundering in my ears drove away any worries about someone walking in on this heated conversation. "You think that gives you a right to tell me what I can and can't do? You're no father of mine." Fire flashed behind Katsu's eyes now, fierce and uncontrollable.

"I created you. You are _mine_! And you will do what I command of you!" He gripped the seat of a stool in front of him and his knuckles turned white. I felt a thrill of fear as I realized just how angry he was getting, but a part of me (an insane part) wanted to push him even further. Wanted to make him squirm with the realization that he had come so close to what he wanted but would never have it.

"I'd rather die," I hissed. A roar of frustration escaped Katsu's lips, and the stool flew across the room, crashing into a cabinet filled with beakers and microscopes. He began to advance on me, kicking things out of his way. I narrowly dodged a lone textbook someone had left under one of the stools as it soared past my head. Because my back had been against the wall, I had to start sliding my way towards the back of the room. _No,_ I thought, _I need to get to the door. I can't let him corner me. _I was walking backwards, tripping over myself and trying to get away from the hellish demon coming at me. He was getting too close. All he had to do was lunge forward and he'd have me.

Without thinking, I shot a bolt of lightning at Katsu's feet. Yelping with pain, he stopped moving and I pressed my back against the shattered cabinet, feeling a few pieces of glass stabbing into my hands. This seemed to have broken through his fit of rage, and Katsu now stood tall again, brushing himself off. His face was strained, and a vein throbbed in his forehead.

"No. That would not be…ideal. Your death would be pointless and most troublesome for me now that I have been discovered. No." He smoothed both hands over his hair, pressing back into place a few strands that had come loose from his braid. "You must live. Therefore, I will ask you one last time Sayuri," I cringed as he said my name. "Will you come join me and the rest of your kind?"

"You're not my kind," I answered simply. The corner of Katsu's mouth twitched. He took a deep breath and wrenched his eyes away from mine. Looking around the room, it seemed as if he was trying to convince himself not to strangle me. Then, he froze, and smiled smugly.

"That's right. You're part _Soul Reaper_. Silly bunch of useless weaklings. They're no better than the humans." He began walking across the classroom, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. "So caught up in these _affections_ and _relationships_. All of that brings nothing but weakness. Mikio tells me you became quite agitated when Sho caused damage to your home." I shifted my body, always keeping Katsu directly in front of me. "That was, of course, what he believed at first. That you were angry your home was being destroyed. And then, it dawned upon him that it was not in fact the house itself that you were protecting." He had stopped moving and was looking directly upwards now at one of the genetics mobiles. Reaching up, his fingers closed on a single photograph and with a tug, he yanked it free. "You have come to care a great deal for those filthy humans you call your false parents, haven't you?"

A chill, colder than ice water, trickled down my back. It felt hard to breathe. What was he thinking? What was he going to do? I didn't answer him, but simply watched him as he began to step towards me again. He didn't get very far. Instead, he stopped, and looked up at me.

"How dare you replace me with them." His voice was pure venom now. "But, fine. If you are going to insist on continuing this charade, play-acting the part of the human high school girl, then I will have to remind you of the station you were born into. My daughter and the princess of Shadows. Your refusal to come quietly has forced my hand. It is really too bad that innocents had to get caught up in our little argument." He held the picture out before him. Two faces smiled back at me.

It was the photo of Emiko and Isamu in the greenhouse I had taken for my mobile. My report hadn't been very good, seeing as they were not my biological parents, but Emiko had gotten so excited when I mentioned having to include pictures. She made me go get the camera and tried a hundred different poses until I took a picture she actually liked. As I stared into their eyes, they began to morph.

Slowly, their faces stretched and blackened. The edges crumbled off as a small flame devoured the photograph. Katsu dropped it to the floor and began to laugh. He quickly stepped to the door and slid it open, then departed.

I fell to my knees before the burning picture, immobile and terrified. What should I do? Did Katsu mean he was going to hurt Emiko and Isamu? Is that where he was going right now? It was as if every terrible moment, ever heart wrenching, sweat inducing terror from my nightmares was suddenly coming to pass. Would I arrive home to find my parents, sprawled out on the ground and….

"No," I heard a quiet voice croak. It took me a moment to realize it was my own. "No. That won't happen." I looked up at the open classroom door, and one thought erupted into my mind and pushed all others from it. "I won't let it."

Jumping to my feet, I threw myself forward with a mixture of fury and fear that produced a brand new type of adrenaline I had never before experienced. My heartbeat was erratic and I was sweating and cold at the same time. I crashed through more stools and sent them flying in all directions. As I shot out into the hallway, I slid on the floor and crashed into the opposite wall. I pushed off hard and propelled myself forward. The bell was just ringing for lunch as I shot past several classroom doors that were now opening. Students were milling about, yawning and chatting absentmindedly. I hated them for it. Fiercely. How could they smile right now? How could they be so blissfully ignorant of the reality that surrounded them but they could not see? Didn't they feel the change in the air? The sudden all-consuming darkness?

As I reached the stairs, I hurtled around the corners and practically jumped down the entire flight. Crashing through a crowd of students, I heard lots of yells and angry shouts. But who cared, really? They would forget me in a few moments anyway and continue on with their day. I passed my classroom which was almost empty except for a few stragglers. Ichigo and Rukia were staring at me as I passed.

"Sayuri?"

"What's wrong?" They both spoke at the same time. The others turned to watch me as I hurtled by, not even stopping to explain. I didn't have time, couldn't they see that? I needed to get home, but when did this school get so big! I wasn't even outside yet although I felt like I had been running for hours.

Renji stood at the end of the hallway waiting for the others, and so he was the last to see me desperately sprinting towards the open window beside him. His expression went from bored, to confused, to amused, and to worried in all of about three seconds. He made a move to reach out and try to grab me, but I planted my feet, crouched down, and threw myself into the air. With my flash step as a propellant, I soared towards the open window. I felt the top of my hair slightly graze the frame, and then I was out. I didn't stop.

Calling upon my Soul Reaper abilities, I continued running in midair. Just as on the night of the battle with Sho, my spiritual pressure had reached high enough levels now that it actually could keep me suspended off the ground. I made contact with a nearby roof and then flash stepped to the next a few blocks away. I pushed myself forward, as hard as I could. I _needed _to get home immediately, before something happened to my parents.

I could see my block coming into view. _Almost there,_ I thought. The ache to see Emiko and Isamu clawed at me like a wild animal. I needed to hear their voices and touch them, to prove to myself they were alright and I was being paranoid. They were innocents. They had nothing to do with this fight between Katsu and myself.

_But that man was an innocent too, _a quiet voice murmured inside my head. _The one he killed right in front of you_. _And he didn't care then. Why would he care now?_ I tripped in my sudden hesitation and began to fall towards the ground. Grabbing onto a light post, I flipped around it and sailed over a fence to land just across the street from my house. Hurrying up the walkway, I stopped before I opened the front door. I didn't want to just barge in all disheveled and clammy. My parents would freak out and ask too many questions. Instead, I moved through the bushes to the front window. I couldn't see them.

_The kitchen maybe,_ I thought, and began to walk around the side of the house. So far everything seemed to check out. Nothing smelled like it was burning, and everything looked perfectly intact. Perhaps I had beaten Katsu here, or maybe he decided that right now wasn't the ideal time to stage an attack. I came around the back of the house and headed towards the kitchen window. Climbing up onto a pile of unused cinder blocks, I peered in through the glass. No one. Where the hell were they? I stepped down and walked to the door. Placing my hand on the knob, I turned it and pulled it open.

An explosion of such force immediately erupted from within the building. It pushed out through the doorway, knocking me back and across the yard. Windows shattered and glass flew everywhere. Shards rained down on me, slicing my skin open everywhere they touched. My ears were ringing so hard I felt like my head was going to split open. For a moment, I could only just lay on the grass looking up at the sky.

There were shapes above me, long dark shapes and flickering ones as well. It took several blinks of my eyes and shakes of my head for them to come into view. The tree on the hill was above me. Had I been thrown that far from the house? Its branches were on fire, the small red and orange flames licking up the bark and jumping from one spot to the next, carried by the wind. The spring leaves shriveled up and dissolved into dust. Limbs began to creak and shatter, falling around me with thuds as they hit the ground.

I had to move. I had to get up. A branch was going to fall on me, but even worse, I had to get inside. Had to find my parents. Pushing myself up on my elbows, I felt the ground tip from underneath me. I turned over and retched into the grass. My stomach heaving brought feeling back to my body and helped to clear my head. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and looked back at my home, instantly feeling sick again.

The whole house was engulfed in a blaze that reached up to the sky where it melded into a tower of black smoke. Shingles were falling off the roof, and the siding panels were beginning to melt from the heat. There was a huge hole where the back door had once been. _Get up! _I screamed at myself, _Get the hell up! Get in there!_

I got shakily to my feet and began to wobble toward the house. Blood dripped from where I had cut my hands in the classroom earlier, and a particularly nasty slice on my cheek. Tearing at my skirt I managed to rip off a small bit of the fabric. There was a watering can next to one of the flower beds and I dipped it in the water and then held it over my nose and mouth. Squinting as much as I could without closing my eyes, I stepped through the doorway and into the inferno.

"Emiko! Isamu!" I shouted, staring around the kitchen. Things were exploding, falling, and shattering all around me. The house's frame was groaning and every step I took felt like the floor could give way at any moment. "Where are you guys?! Can you hear me?!" I pushed on into the living room, but they were not there either. The heat was so intense sweat was already dripping down my face and back. I returned to the kitchen and turned to head down the hallway when there was a loud _snap_ and a _groan_ from above me.

Looking up, I saw a whole section of the ceiling separate from the rest and come hurtling down. I jumped forward, narrowly missing a section of the wallpaper that was peeling and burning quite ferociously. I covered my eyes with my free arm, and tried to ignore the flecks of flaming debris that singed my skin with every second of contact. Despite my wet rag, I began to cough, feeling as though my lungs were convulsing inside me. Tears were streaming down my face from the smoke.

"Emiko! Isamu! Answer me, please!" I shouted again, my voice breaking. A thought had just occurred to me that chilled me to the bone despite the raging hell around me. What if they weren't even home? What if this had been some kind of trick by Katsu to lure me here and kill me? But…hadn't he said he didn't want me dead?

A flurry of movement from a room up ahead distracted me, and I pushed on, avoiding the patches of flaming floorboards, wallpaper, and furniture the best that I could. As I reached the end of the hall, I felt my heart sink. Huge sections of the ceiling had collapsed here and were blocking the way. Furniture from the second floor had fallen through, so I had to start climbing. It was getting harder and harder to find a clear space to step with the fire spreading so quickly. I peeked between a dresser and a toppled cabinet.

There, pinned to the floor under what looked like tons of debris, were two bodies. They weren't moving.

"Emiko! Isamu!" I shouted, feeling like my throat was going to rip open from the amount of smoke I was breathing in. I pushed at the wreckage and struggled to squeeze inside, no longer caring if I got burnt. I had to get my parents out before the whole house collapsed on us. Suddenly, my skirt snagged on a broken piece of wood from what looked like the nightstand in my room and I couldn't move any further. I was lodged between a large grandfather clock that had belonged to Isamu's father, and a writing desk from the hall upstairs.

"Emiko! Emiko, wake up! You have to get up now! The house is burning we need to get out, come on!" I scrabbled around and found a half-burnt book. I threw it up and over the debris and it landed a foot in front of Emiko's head. To my immense relief, she began to stir. Her body was pinned underneath Isamu's. It looked as if he had thrown himself over her as the ceiling had come down, which he probably had. Isamu was a protector, and he would give his life for those he loved.

Emiko raised her head and looked around, dazed. Then, as if she suddenly remembered what had happened, she slowly turned herself around to face her husband, wincing and gasping in pain. _She must be hurt pretty bad…._ Her face fell as she saw Isamu and she lifted a small hand to his face where it rested against his cheek. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his. Tears were rolling down her face, cutting clear streaks through the grime and smoke smeared all over her. I felt hollow inside as the realization of what happened hit me. Isamu was already gone.

I let out a strangled gasp and Emiko looked up. As she saw me, a frightened look suddenly took over her whole face.

"What are you doing here?! Get out! Now!" I was so shocked by her reaction I just stared at her blankly. What was she saying? I was there to help her?

"No! I can get in there! I can get you out! We have to-"

"Your father was here," she said, a note of venom I had never heard before in her voice. She looked me straight in the eyes. "He told us everything." So that was it. Katsu had come and informed Emiko and Isamu of the monster that I truly was. The poor, helpless orphan girl was not even human and had supernatural powers that could destroy cities, even continents if she wished. That look of disgust on her face shot through me so effectively she could have stabbed me. My world, so carefully rebuilt, was crumbling around me, and one of the few people I had ever allowed myself to rely on was about to turn away from me forever.

"He's a horrid man isn't he?" she asked. I blinked.

"What?" I asked, stupidly.

"That man, your…_father, _if you can even call him that. He's a real bastard." Who was this woman, and what had she done with Emiko? I had never heard her talk about anyone like that before. Her voice had become so serious and rough. She tried to move a bit and then winced. I pulled on my skirt, gaining some confidence as I heard it tear a bit.

"Don't move, Sayuri!" Emiko shouted. "You need to leave. Just turn around and go."

"No!" I kept pulling. "I don't care what he told you, and I don't care if you hate me. I'm getting you out. That, at least, I can do." Emiko stared at me. I wanted to look away from her, but something in her gaze held mine.

"Hate you? No, you silly girl. I could _never_ hate you. No matter what you did. No matter who you were or where you came from. You're _my_ daughter." She raised her head in defiance. "That man told us many things. Whether they are true or not, I'm not going to ask because it doesn't matter. I know who you are. _We_ knew." She gestured to Isamu's motionless body. "And we loved you for it. For all of it. Even the pieces you couldn't, or didn't want to, remember. You were everything to us. Everything we could have wanted."

"Stop talking like it's all in the past!" I shouted at her. "I'm going to get you out!"

"We are so proud of you, Sayuri." Emiko's voice was getting softer. I tugged harder and harder and my skirt finally ripped free. I was pushing through the debris, frantically making my way towards my parents. "We always knew you were a good person. And we know that you will always do the right thing, no matter what. You're not like him." I stopped fighting with the furniture and stared at my second mother. My second nurturer and protector and supporter. The woman who braided my hair and made so many sacrifices just to give me a home and a new life. "I told him that. I told him that you would never become a monster like him." I felt my breath catch in my throat.

"Emiko," I said quietly. "Come on. Try to get to me, we can get out." But, I somehow knew her answer before she even spoke. I had known it since the moment I saw Isamu lying still under all the fallen wreckage.

"No, my dear. We can't. But you can." She placed her hand on Isamu's cheek once again. Looking at him, she leaned forward and kissed his forehead. She turned her brown, eyes back to me. They were so full of what looked like pride and love in that moment my chest hurt. "It's ok." A sharp pain shot through my head and I reached up to press a palm against my temple. A throbbing began that made me fall back against the clock, it was so strong. _It's ok._ I had heard those words before, during a situation much like this one. But when? And from whom? My head throbbed again and I gasped in pain.

"Sayuri!"

"Where are you, Sayuri!?"

"Renji, wait! It's not safe!" I could hear shouts over the roaring of the flames. The voices were familiar. Orihime was there, and Rukia! And Ichigo too! My friends were outside. They could help get Emiko out! I looked at her imploringly, but she simply shook her head. The furniture behind me began to shift as if someone was shoving it aside and I struggled to get closer to Emiko, reaching out for her.

"It's ok," she repeated. "Go now. Before the fire reaches the furnace. Go!" She was speaking to someone over my shoulder. A pair of hands gripped me under my arms and yanked me backwards with incredible strength. As I watched Emiko disappear behind the wreckage, I began screaming and fighting with whoever was trying to drag me out of the house. I kicked my legs and swung my arms, feeling a thrill of success every time my nails dragged across skin. I shouted and cursed and fought with every last ounce of my strength to get back to my mother and father. By my captor held me fast, and soon we were back outside.

The sky was dark with clouds of black smoke, and chunks of the house were completely gone. I began coughing violently as fresh air raided my lungs, and my stomach heaved for the second time. My captor let me go and I vomited again, wheezing and gasping for air. The watering can was shoved into my hands and someone told me to drink. I did so quickly, gladly gulping down mouthfuls of cool water. After I was done, I turned the can over and poured the rest over my head, hoping to clear away the fogginess that was beginning to blanket my consciousness. I stood up.

"I have to go back in and save her," I muttered and began to stumble back towards the burning house. Someone grabbed me by the wrist and began pulling me across the yard, away from the fire. We moved up the hill to stand beside the tree which was now smoldering. Several people were gathered there. "Let go!" I twisted my arm away and spun around. Lashing out, I felt my fist make contact with solid mass.

Raising my eyes I found myself looking into Renji's face. He too was covered in soot and grime. Sweat tracks cut through the soot and the black band he wore around his forehead almost blended in with his skin. He was staring at me so intently, his gaze actually started to make my head throb even harder. Again I was slammed with the feeling of a memory just at the tip of my consciousness, but still too far for me to reach.

"I'm going to get Emiko." I started walking back down the hill when a second explosion rent the atmosphere apart. Renji grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me into him, his hand on the back of my head, pressing my face to his chest. We were both knocked off our feet, and I could feel several things hit us as we lay on the ground. My ears were ringing again and my head was painfully pounding now.

I untangled myself from Renji and sat up quickly. The fire had reached the furnace, and it had exploded. The entire house was engulfed in flames now. There was no way Emiko could have survived that. Pushing myself to my feet, I stood there on the hill looking down at my home.

My home. Just that morning I had woken up there. It had been warm and safe and mine. It was gone now. Disintegrating before my eyes. So were Emiko and Isamu. It had all been swallowed up by a fire. _Just like the last time..._.

Another image of a house, much smaller than this one, began to materialize before my eyes. It too was on fire, and I was watching from a distance. That had been my home once too before everything had stopped making sense.

In that moment, something finally broke inside me. The world that I had thought I understood began to crumble around me, along with all my guards. All my walls. The walls I had put up that day in the hospital, held together with promises to myself that I would become strong, that I would learn how to protect others so that I never had to lose anyone ever again. The walls that had been fortified with the love of my new parents and the love of my mother, who gave her life for me that night when everything was swallowed up by fire.

Two moments had been hurtling towards one another in my mind for a while now, and suddenly they collided. A moment from the present overlapping a moment from the past. A moment that had been locked away inside my memories because I was not strong enough to accept that it had happened. That I had not been strong enough to prevent it. But now, as every bit of my mind seemed reduced to dust, that moment was freed.

I felt my knees buckle and I hit the ground hard. Voices were shouting around me. Bodies were running and commands were being given. But I couldn't understand any of them. Not clearly, at least. Arms slid under my body and lifted me off the ground. I looked up and two golden eyes looked down at me, full of fear and fury and an emotion I could not yet name.

"I've got you," he whispered softly.

"Renji," I whispered back. His grip on me tightened. It hurt a bit on the spots where I was cut and burnt but I didn't care. I let my head fall to the side, and the last thing I saw before I slipped into blackness was the blazing flames my father had sent to destroy my world yet again.


End file.
